Hard to Love (20 page)

I gripped her upper arms, hard enough so she knew I was serious but not hard enough to hurt, and hauled her off me. “I’m not going to be able to control myself with you cupcake
,
and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Cade, please. Inside me…” she whispered.

Aw hell, hearing her beg for it just about undid me.
Did she know what she was asking me?
“Are you sure?
Your first time should be with someone important, doll.
”

Her
answer
was determined. “
I know
.”

My heart
spasmed
again.
I wanted to make her mine.
“You sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes,” she
breathed,
her voice raspy with need.

I planted a soft kiss on her mouth, and felt her shudder when my erection pressed against her
hip
.
I blindly reached over to my nightstand, unwilling to break the kiss and found the foil packet I was looking for. Within seconds I had rolled on the condom, and once the familiar s
c
ent of latex hung in the air, my dick had a mind of its own, nudging against Alexa’s belly as if it was seeking entrance. I knew I needed to slow myself down, but her tiny whimpers and the way she rocked her hips against mine
were wearing at
my patience.

I brought a hand between us to position myself between her legs and
eased forward, nudging the head of my cock against her entrance, brac
ing
myself above her. Alexa gripped my biceps as I pushed forward just slightly.
She
sucked in a breath and held it, biting her lip.

“Are you okay?”

I felt her nod
.

I brushed her hair back from her face
and
dropped a kiss on her forehead
as I pushed forward again. The pressure of her warm channel squeezing me was almost unbearable. I pulled back and thrust forward
a third time
, allowing myself to slid
e
just a little deeper inside. I watched
Alexa’s expression
change as I began to fill her. She was beautiful to watch
—
the little gasps escaping her parted lips, and her pink flushed cheeks.

When I pushed inside f
a
rther, unable to hold off from feeling the friction of our bodies any longer, Alexa released a soft cry that was tinged with both pleasure and pain.

“Am I hurting you?”

She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head. “Just keep going,” she instructed.

God she
was
so tight,
my dick felt like it was being
strangled
. “Holy fuck, cupcake, this has to be hurting you.
Tell me if you want me to stop
.”

Her only response was a series of tiny whimpers. Her eyes
were
squeezed closed
—
in pl
easure or pain, I didn’t know.
“
Just g
o slow, okay?”

A surge to protect her, despite the massive case of blue balls awaiting me
,
swelled in my gut, and I pulled
out
completely
, sitting back on the bed
.

“Cade?” She reached for me. “Why’d you stop?”

“Because I was hurting you.”

“So?” Her expression was one of genuine confusion. “I knew it would hurt the first time, but I still want to…” She trailed her hand along my abs, reaching
lower
. 

I removed her hand and pulled her body close to mine. She crawled into my lap, wrapping her arms and legs around me and I cradled her body to mine. She planted
insistent
kisses
along the column of my neck and over
my
tattoo.

“Fuck, I want you, baby. Are you sure about this?”

“God yes,” she moaned.

I brought my hand to my mouth, applying saliva to my fingertips and reached between us to rub the wetness on the head of my cock. Alexa was still soaking wet, but maybe this would
help
ease my entrance just enough. “Come here, baby. Lower yourself down on
me
. You’ll control the pressure. Only
take
what you can handle.
” I positioned myself at her entrance, and Alexa immediately began pushing herself down on me. I bit back a string of curse words.
She gripped my shoulders, her nails biting into my skin
,
and I cupped the globes of her ass, holding her steady.

“Cade,” she moaned, sending a spark of pleasure through my gut, hitting me straight in the balls. I wanted to unleash, to pound into her tight pussy again and again, but I held back, holding myself
steady
while she raised and lowered herself in tiny increments as she adjusted to
my size
.

Once I was fully buried in her, she threw her head back
and let out a coarse moan
.
She opened her eyes and met mine
,
her pouty mouth curving into a mischievous grin.
It felt amazing being buried in her sweet body, but I needed her to move or I was going to fucking explode.

Finally she began to rock her hips against mine.
“Cade, oh God.”
She kissed me distractedly, her open mouth sucking and nipping at mine. I wasn’t any more coordinated than she was
, content for our lips to brush as I breathed against her mouth and mumbled endearments to her lips
. All my focus was centered on holding onto her tight little ass while she plunged up and down on me. 

She rode me faster,
her chest
grazing mine
as she moved.
“Yeah, that’s it sweetheart. Oh fuck, just like that, baby.”
Knowing my self-control wasn’t going to last, I reached a hand between us and rubbed the pad of my
thumb
over her swollen bud, sweeping circles around it. She ground her hips into mine, crying out my name.

“Are you close
,
baby?” I nipped at her lips, increasing the pressure on her clit and lifting my hips to meet her thrusts, unable to hold back any longer.

“Cade. I’m going to come.”

A rush of pride swelled within me and I held on as she pumped herself up and down my cock, moaning
and
whimpering in a sexy tumble of incoherent words, until I felt a rush of
wetness as she came against me.
The friction of her tight walls
as she
squeez
ed
and
spasm
ed
around me sent me over the edge and I groaned out my own release,
spilling myself
inside her.

Chapter 16

Alexa

“
He
y
,
sleepyhead.”
Cade pressed a kiss to my forehead, and a lazy smile crossed my
lips, remembering where I was
—
w
arm
and cozy
in Cade’s bed. I opened my eyes to find his sleepy gaze inches from mine. His alarm sounded from the dresser and Cade hopped out of bed, still completely nude
,
to silence it.

I stretched and rolled over, taking the warmth of his vacated spot.
It smelled of him
—
a hint of spicy cologne and the rest
just
his
own
masculine
scent
.
H
i
m
.
I was decidedly sore and dressed in one of Cade’s T-shirt
that I didn’t recall putting on
.

“
Mmm
.”
I reached for him. “Come back.”

Cade turned to face me, his morning erection greeting me
as he sat on the edge of the bed next to me. He pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. “Last night was amazing,” he murmured.

I stretched seductively, pulling the T-shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor. “Come back to bed.” 

His eyes roamed my body,
and he
grinn
ed
at what he
saw
. He traced a fingertip along my belly, circling my hip
bone
.
“
Aren’t you sore,
baby
?”

“Just a little.
You might have to kiss it and make it all better.” I
smirked
seductively, trying my best attempt at dirty talk.

“
I better not…
I’ve
gotta
work today.”

What did that have to do with…
?
“
At the c
onstruction site?”
 

He
looked down, tucking the edge of the blanket around me
.
“Ah, no.
Actually I have a film shoot today.”

I
shot up in bed, tugging the sheet over
my
na
ked chest, a
ll inhibitions of the night before gone at the mention of him…
working
.
Especially when said work
involved
his
sleeping with another woman.
“I didn’t think you were still doing that
.
And especially after last night…”
Shit
. I was going to cry. Right here, naked in his bed and still sore from our lovemaking.
I pulled in a breath to steady myself.

“Don’t look at me like that. You knew what I did the first night we met.”
Cade slipped into a pair of jeans, forgoing even boxer
s
. I hated the thought that
someone other than me
would unwrap that package later. I
c
ouldn’t share him.
Sharing him w
ith Lily was one thing,
a very different thing,
but certainly not
something like
this.
God,
how
had I been stupid enough to think that a having a porn star f
or a boyfriend was a good idea?

“
B
ut after last night…” Things changed for me.
Completely.
But if the morning after being inside me he could go off and do the same thing to another woman without a passing thought, clearly my feelings were more one
-
sided than I
’d believed
.
Sex didn’t hold the same importance to him as it did to me. And I could never be with someone that didn’t understand and appreciate the intimacy we’d shared. Sure I might’ve joked in the beginning about losing my virginity, but we both knew better. I was falling for Cade.
Had fallen.
Hard.
And he’d taken the gift of my virginity without understanding that he now held my heart in his hands.

“Cade?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to do this, cupcake.”

I threw the covers off and leapt from the bed.
Don’t cupcake me…

“Alexa…talk to me. What’s wrong?”

I spun around
,
facing him. “What’s wrong? You’re seriously asking me what’s
wrong?
”
I
was not having this conversation while naked. I
jerked
on my clothes, feeling close to violence
that
if he so much as tried to lay one finger on me
, I’d annihilate him
.
If he didn’t know what was wrong, there was no use talking to him at all. “So just like that, you’re going to…go off and do
that
today?”

He hung his head,
apparently
at a loss for words. 

“Don’t call me.” I stomped out of his room, grabbing my purse and keys on the way, and
tore out of his house to my waiting car as quickly as I could. I said a silent prayer of thanks for the pickup on my X5, the law b
e
damned. I’d like to see anyone try to pull me over. I’d castrate a police officer before I let anyone stand in the way of
me
crawling in
to
my bed
.
Through tear-filled eyes, I dialed MacKenzie.