Healing Faith (13 page)

I heard a breath behind me, as if Nathan made to
interject, but I beat him to it. This was something I knew.

"The forbidden fruit is never truly referred to as an
apple, Hannah. Artists depicting Adam and Eve used the apple
because of its appearance. Scarlet, round and full of juice and
heavenly goodness that can only be sinful if stolen from the tree.
Some scholars have argued that it might be the pomegranate, or
dates or even figs. But the Forbidden Fruit is knowledge itself, is
it not? The more you know, the more you are bound to the Earth and
the sins of man. The apple, however is discussed in the Bible in
more than one occasion as a positive entity," I said, watching as
Hannah's eyes narrowed at my knowledgeable explanation.

Just because I was an Englisher, did not mean I
didn't know anything. True, I knew little about God and the Bible.
I didn't go to church. But what little I did know would be my
talisman. I was suddenly thankful for that Religious Studies class
I had taken my only semester in community college.

Nathan's soft voice startled me.

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the
shadow of your wings."

I turned to look at him, his eyes contemplative as I
nodded.

“Psalm 17:8," he whispered, his eyes focusing away
from me as if embarrassed to have spoken.

"That's right," I replied. "The Bible refers to the
apple of one's eye as the pupil of one's eye, or the center. It is
a reference to Israel, and the center of God's love."

Nathan cleared his throat and looked up towards Emma,
smiling.

"So by loving apple pie, Emma, it seems that you are
one with God's love," he explained.

I grinned at the clever interpretation Nathan had
come up with, watching as Hannah scowled in the corner near Mark
while Emma and I rose with Fannie to take the empty plates away.
Emma pulled me close as we walked, glancing back towards Nathan
before she laughed softly.

"How did you know that, Katherine? You surprise at
every turn! I think you impressed Nathan with your knowledge," she
exclaimed softly.

I shrugged and glanced back to find Nathan still
watching me. When our eyes met, his lip would twitch upward and he
would look away hurriedly. His glances did not go unnoticed. The
Bishop, standing by a tree near the food tables, cast a long
contemplative look towards Nathan, and then to me. His face was
unreadable as he turned and walked away, sitting with the
elders.

As we neared the table where the desserts were laid
out, we were joined by some of the girls that had watched Emma and
I earlier. Their leader, a tall redhead, offered a simpering smile
to Fannie as they passed. They lingered behind us as Emma and I cut
up slices of apple and blackberry pie to take back. Fannie and
Abigail loaded up with plates and made their way back. As soon as
Fannie was out of hearing range, the redhead spoke up.

"Katherine, is it? You do not act like one of us,
with your laughter and willful arguments with your family. Are you
from a neighboring community that has looser laws?" she asked, her
voice high and nasally.

"She is visiting, Joanna. She is a guest," Emma
replied coldly.

Joanna ignored Emma and continued on.

"Surely you do not plan on remaining here? Or are you
looking for a husband?" she asked and glanced back at Nathan with a
smirk when she caught him watching me.

I straightened and gathered up the plates in my hand,
turning to the redhead with determined eyes. After Hannah, I was
finding my courage.

"I'll stay for as long as the Bergers allow me. I am
happy to help them with whatever they wish of me. They have made me
feel welcome," I replied, trying to sound calm. Joanna glanced back
towards the Bergers and laughed, her laughter sharp like glass
breaking.

"Yes, the Bergers are most charitable. I am sure they
are not the only ones that have made you feel welcome," she said
and turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.

I let out a breath and shook my head at Emma as she
huffed beside me on our way back.

"I thought you were all friendly and welcoming. Who
knew you had catty bitches just like in my world," I muttered,
squinting hard at the words that had flown out.

They felt dirty somehow in the presence of Emma. But
Emma let out a chuckle and looked back towards where the girls had
gone.

"Our worlds are not so different, Katherine. Evil can
be found anywhere," she replied and moved a little faster towards
her family.

Emma handed John a slice of pie, his grin widening
over her choice of apple. I had come with three plates in my hand.
Not sure what Nathan would have wanted, I brought him a choice. I
stood beside him, my back towards the family and smiled down at him
nervously.

He sat up at my approach and fought to hide the
eagerness on his face.

"Would you like apple or blackberry?" I asked softly,
struggling to hide my smile when I watched him lick his lips as he
eyed the plates in anticipation.

"You made these?" he whispered and looked up at me
with those penetrating eyes, glimmering with excitement.

I nodded and felt a surge of pride wash over me when
his smile brightened.

"Must I choose?" he asked, a hint of mischief in his
expression, the same amusement he had shown me when I had tripped
on his laundry.

I glanced back towards the family, their chatter
distracting them from our quiet conversation. I looked back down at
Nathan, his eyes still on me. I tipped the slice of blackberry onto
one of the apple plates and settled in beside him, offering him the
double slice. He took it from my hands eagerly, his fingers
brushing over mine as the plate slipped from my hand to his.

His soft blush and downturned eyes made my skin burn
more than the touch had. He was so much different than the men I
had known. Shy, hesitant. Never overbearing.

"Thank you, Kate," he murmured and cut off a sizable
piece of the apple, slipping it into his mouth.

I watched as his eyes closed, his jaw moving slowly
as he chewed. He hummed softly, the deep tenor of it rumbling
through his chest. But his lips had me mesmerized as he chewed.
They moved with his jaw, turning up slightly in contentment as he
took another bite, this time from the blackberry.

Again a soft hum and smile, his eyes opening lazily
to look down at me, in a slight daze. A silent conversation seemed
to move between us, and more than anything I wanted to touch him,
to feel that connection. I knew it wasn’t allowed, so instead I
tried to eat. His voice startled me.

“You make pie like my mother did.”

I blinked and stared at him, unsure of what to say.
He looked back down at his plate and cut another piece.

“She loved to bake. She made the same leaves on her
crusts. Did your mother teach you?”

Green eyes searched me out when I didn’t answer right
away, so deep and expressive with the sadness that swirled in them.
I shook my head slowly, afraid to say anything that would make him
think about his mother any more. It was clear he missed his
family.

“However you learned, you can tell it is what you
must enjoy doing. Baking that is,” he continued, a smile playing on
his lips as he looked down and took another bite. “Your talent will
be well known before the day is out.”

“Hannah says it’s my bargaining chip for finding a
husband,” I blurted out, cringing when he stopped mid-chew with
widened eyes. He recovered quickly, the playful smirk returning
once more.

“An honest man would look for more than the ability
to make a good pie,” he replied. “He would spend his energy to find
what she enjoys in life so that he could please her.”

His eyes continued to hold onto mine, the world
falling away from us as I read every emotion roil through him.
Fear, hope, caution, and concern. Was he asking me what I enjoyed?
Did he want to know me?

“Are you enjoying your time here, Kate?”

I blinked and concentrated on the pie on my
plate.

“I am. It’s different than my old life, that’s for
sure.”

“Do you miss it?” he asked, his voice a little
closer. When I glanced up, I noticed he had slid a little closer,
his knee brushing my own as he settled in beside me.

“Miss it?”

He nodded and took another bite from his blackberry
pie. I could tell he was trying hard not to devour it like Mark
across the blanket. And he was still trying to figure me out as he
watched from the corner of his eye.

I shifted beside him, so that my shoulder sat close
to his, our faces a little closer for quiet conversation. No one
bothered us, although I could see Emma and Abigail glancing time
and again towards us.

“I don’t really miss it, no,” I finally answered.
“There wasn’t much to miss really.”

He frowned and fingered the chip in the plate he was
holding.

“Surely there are people to miss. It must be hard to
be away from family? Your loved ones?”

“My family’s nothing like what you have here,” I
replied, feeling a sudden sense of longing for what Jonah and
Fannie offered as parents to their daughters. I would never have
that, not unless I worked at it.

“But your mother? She must miss you?” he asked, his
eyes capturing mine in an inquisitive gaze.

I cleared my throat and looked down at my plate,
shaking my head.

“My mother died seven years ago,” I whispered.

“I am sorry,” he replied quietly and I felt a warmth
work through me when his hand brushed over my own on my lap. It was
tentative, hovering before he squeezed it with a gentle pressure. I
was transfixed on his hand over mine, so much bigger than my own,
and tanned from days spent out in the field.

And warmer than I would have thought.

Comforting.

Safe.

Mark's booming voice broke the spell, Nathan's hand
jerked away quickly as if startled from a dream.

"Katherine, that was delicious! Do you think there is
any more left? Nathan, come let's get another piece of Katherine's
pie before it is gone!" he exclaimed, jumping up and nearly
dragging a flustered Nathan along with him.

I tried my best to pretend to ignore Nathan as he
walked away, but his back was so familiar to me now, and his
brightening smile cast in profile as Mark seemed to tease him made
it nearly impossible to ignore. It was nice to see Nathan opening
up, and a little more relaxed.

Fannie's voice finally broke me from my thoughts.

"Katherine, come. We must help with washing."

I followed Fannie dutifully back to the tables, where
food was being separated and brought into the house for storing;
cups and dishes were being moved to the wash basins laid out near
the porch. Fannie grabbed a stack of dishes, nodding for me to take
one as well and followed her to the washbasins. We stood there and
worked as a team to clean many stacks, washing and rinsing and
passing along to Emma and Abigail to dry and stack. It took most of
the women a considerable part of the afternoon to return the
Wittmer yard to its original state, with men gathering up the long
benches and an army of girls taking the silverware and plates to a
large wagon where it all seemed to get packed up with expert
efficiency.

With chores completed, I joined Fannie and some of
the women on the porch to sort through clothes that needed mending.
I was reminded of Nathan's clothes that we had never mended. Needle
and thread in hand, I set to the arduous task of sewing hooks back
onto vests and trousers, graduating up to patches in children's
clothes as the older women watched me work. A few of the women
chuckled at my work and remarked at it teasingly.

They were in agreement that I was by far a better pie
maker than seamstress.

The afternoon passed quickly, the fence and house
repairs completed before the sun had dipped down too far. I was
tired from the heat and the work, my eyes drooping as I rested
against the porch railing. Fannie's soft hand on my shoulder had my
eyes slamming open, blinking away the sleep. She smiled and put her
needle and thread back into her sewing basket.

"Come Katherine. We should gather our things and make
our way home. Would you collect our plates from Sarah? Jonah
appears to want to depart soon," she said and stepped towards our
wagon.

Emma, Abigail and I picked up our dishes from Sarah
in the kitchen and said our goodbyes. The wagon was already hooked
to the horses and the blankets already packed for our departure.
John and Mark stood by the horses, nodding to us as we passed. I
made a better attempt at climbing into the back of the wagon,
settling in next to Emma once more.

Looking around, I didn't see Nathan.

It was on the second scan of the buggies that I
noticed the familiar black hat down the line of tethered horses.
Nathan was frowning and nodding at the Bishop as the man spoke to
him, the elder's hand moving in succinct movements that told me
that he was being lectured sternly about something. Nathan glanced
our way and looked away quickly, his frown deepening at the words
of the Bishop. Our wagon began to move, away from the two men. As I
continued to watch, Nathan glanced our way once more, his eyes
meeting mine, the emotions running through those dark eyes left me
feeling gutted.

He looked regretful.

The Bishop followed his gaze, and I frowned when his
glare reached me.

It was obvious now what the Bishop had been telling
Nathan.

He most certainly did not approve of me.

Nathan did not come to supper again that night,
Fannie tutting and shaking her head as she looked out the window
repeatedly for some sign of him. She finally turned away when it
was clear he would not be joining us. We cleaned in quiet, tired
from the long day. Even Jonah's bright announcement to the end of
the day was a little worn.