Healing Faith (17 page)

"She's coming home with me. Go back to your farm," he
said and shoved Nathan a little harder.

Again, Nathan did not budge from his spot beside
me.

"Kate, please. You do not need to stay with him. Go,
it will be all right," Nathan said to me, taking his hand and
moving it carefully towards my shoulder.

"Don't touch her!" Sean yelled and pushed Nathan with
an explosive force that sent both of them past me. I heard the
impact of the two of them as they careened towards the dumpsters of
the diner, Sean gripping Nathan by the collar and shoved him
against the dumpster hard before stepping away, laughing.

"You won't even fight. You see that, Kate? He doesn't
care. He just used you for a good screw. Get in the car, we're done
here," he said and turned to push me back towards the car.

"Leave her be. She does not wish to go with you."

I knew by the flash in his eyes that Sean had had
enough.

Nathan stepped in to intervene between us, to block
Sean from grabbing at me once more, but Sean was intent to get to
me. I felt Sean's grip on my arm tugging me away from Nathan. I
wasn't prepared to see Sean's arm as it swung around to an
unsuspecting Nathan. Nathan stumbled back a step, surprise on his
face as Sean stepped towards him again, in an effort to frighten
him off. But Nathan stood there, hands clenched at his side.

I cried out when Sean moved closer, arm raised. My
cry distracted Nathan, his eyes flashing towards me for a second
too long when Sean's fist hit him across the jaw, forcing Nathan to
retreat back another step. Sean took advantage of his distraction
to push him again, knocking Nathan back and stumbling towards the
wall of the alley. I knew if Sean cornered him there, Nathan would
become a punching bag, no matter how fast he dodged.

I acted on instinct.

An instinct I never thought I would have. Perhaps it
was because I hated the idea of someone like Nathan coming under
attack from someone like Sean, because of me.

I leapt for Sean's back, tugging and scratching at
bare skin as best I could to distract him from pummeling Nathan.
Sean faltered, stumbling back towards the car long enough to
provide Nathan a chance to get way from the wall. I clung to Sean
as he grabbed at me, finally wrenching me free and tossing me off
of him like a rag. I landed hard against the door and fell to the
ground, the wind knocked out of me. I lay there for a moment,
stunned, feeling like a limp ragdoll.

"Kate!" I heard Nathan cry out.

I crouched on the ground, heaving to try to get the
air back in my lungs, the ground spinning before me. Noises reached
my ears, garbled as I struggled to breathe. There was a loud crash
and then silence. As the quiet rang in my ears, my lungs suddenly
exploded, the air rushing back in.

With the first breath I was calling out.

"Nathan!"

I felt the door push past me, and hands pulling me
upright to sit. I flinched at the suddenness of it all, until I
felt the gentle pressure of Nathan's fingertips along my jaw, his
eyes coming into focus as my vision cleared.

"Kate? Are you all right?" he was asking.

His hands searched my face, tracing along my temple
and down my cheeks, his eyes taking in where his fingers searched.
I nodded dumbly, trying my best to speak, to ask him if he was all
right. He had an angry cut along his cheek, extending up towards
his ear, and his bottom lip was split and bleeding. I reached up
and took his hands in mine, hearing his relieved breath.

"Where's Sean?" I whispered, suddenly terrified of
what must have happened.

Nathan’s eyes seemed more pained at my question and
he shook his head.

"We should leave, Kate," Nathan whispered.

I looked around us, not seeing Sean at first. When I
finally found him, I gasped and struggled to stand. Nathan helped
me to my feet and pulled me in the direction of the alley entrance.
I slowed and shook my head.

"We should leave, Kate," he repeated, the fear in his
voice apparent this time.

"I have to see," I whispered, pulling away from
Nathan to make my way towards the unmoving form in the half
darkness.

Nathan released me; my feet slow to move as I took in
the image before me.

Sean's body lay crumpled amongst the trash of the
diner; his arm limp over his face. I took a tentative step closer,
afraid of getting too close and having him spring to life and tear
me apart.

Afraid of getting too close and finding him dead.

"Is he?" Nathan stammered several feet behind me.

I knelt down and carefully moved Sean's arm away from
his face. Sean let out a soft noise but didn’t stir, though his
chest rose and fell. The bleeding gash across his forehead from
where it seemed he had hit it along the dumpster was already
starting to slow. It looked worse than it was; he'd have a bad
headache when he woke up.

But he was breathing, and that was enough for me.

"He's alive," I whispered, scrambling to my feet and
rushing back to Nathan, who let out a relieved breath and held me
close.

"I am sorry, Kate. He pushed me; I just wanted to get
past him to get to you. He pushed. I had to...he fell," Nathan
stammered, pausing when Sean moved slightly.

"We need to leave," I said in a rush and grabbed my
bag and Nathan's hat off the ground.

Nathan watched as I gathered our things, apprehension
clear as he glanced at Sean repeatedly. He stood there frozen until
I reached for his hand and held it carefully as I could in my own.
My touch seemed to jog him back to reality and he turned, grasping
my hand. We walked swiftly out of the alley and towards his buggy
that stood across from the diner. His hand never left mine until he
helped me up into his buggy, climbing in quickly to sit beside
me.

A flick of the reins and we were off at a fast pace,
the town fast disappearing behind us. I looked back several times,
sure that we would see the red car following at any moment. It was
only when I felt the heat of Nathan's hand over mine on the seat
did I turn finally to find him watching me.

His cut had stopped bleeding; leaving a darkening red
line across his cheek, and his lip was caked in dried blood, the
plump part of his lip growing plumper by the minute. The hand that
covered mine squeezed gently, just a ghost of pressure. I picked
his hand up and held it up to my lips briefly. I felt him tense
slightly when I lowered it to rest on my lap, onto bare legs.

He cleared his throat when he pulled his hand gently
from my lap, turning to concentrate on the road ahead. I knew I was
grossly underdressed for his sensibilities. I shifted in my seat,
trying to shrink as far into the corner and hide as much of me as I
could from Nathan's uncomfortable gaze. He glanced at me several
times, his eyes darting back to the road when they ventured
anywhere partly exposed. I suddenly felt more like the whore Sean
had labeled me while I sat awkwardly half-dressed next to Nathan. I
had never felt so exposed when I had worn my own clothes, but I was
in a different world. And I was going back to it, with the Amish
man that had told me to leave, and yet had come to my rescue.

Why had he come to find me?

Why was he taking me back?

"I thought I had killed him."

His pained voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"But you didn't, Nathan. It wasn't your fault.”

He shook his head and frowned hard.

"But I thought I had. You do not understand, Kate. We
do not fight. It is our law. But he hurt you, and then he pushed. I
only pushed him so that I could get to you; to be sure you were not
injured. I was sure I had gone too far," he said, his breath coming
a little harder as he gripped the reins hard.

"It's all right, Nathan. You didn't do anything
wrong," I said softly, watching as his frown deepened while he
seemed to contemplate what had happened.

"Who was he? Does he have a claim on you?" he
whispered, his eyebrows buried together at the idea.

"No one has a claim on me," I said a little too
forcefully.

I would never be anyone’s possession again.

"I did not mean to presume. It is not my place," he
stammered, looking away hurriedly.

"No, Nathan. I didn't mean to be rude. He is just," I
said and trailed off, leaning into the side of the buggy and
curling into myself, embarrassed to talk about this with him.

He'd think me cheap. Or worse, dirty. Certainly not
pure and innocent, something he deserved.

"I am sorry," he whispered after a long silence.

"I should be saying sorry," I replied. "I dragged you
into something you don't need to trouble yourself over. It's not
your problem."

"I was worried for you."

I looked over to find him watching me again, his eyes
regarding me with such intensity.

"I don't know why," I murmured and looked away.

"You have something about you, Kate. Something that
pulls me," he started only to stop and look back out towards the
road.

"I'm an outsider, Nathan. English. I’ll only shame
you," I whispered and retreated further into my corner of the
buggy.

I felt his gaze on me again, but I refused to look
into those deep eyes and see the truth of my words in them. His
quiet exhale made me finally turn to face those sad green depths,
losing myself in them as he continued to watch me intently.

"I shame myself, Kate. You help me to see there is a
light in the world by your kindness, and I push you away," he
replied softly, looking away from me finally and off into the
fields of corn.

"Why did you come after me? You told me to leave," I
asked softly, afraid to hear his admittance.

He shook his head, a rueful smile playing at his
lips.

"I did not mean for you to leave forever, Kate. I
meant for just that moment. I was afraid. You kissed me and I felt
an overwhelming urge. I was tempted. I was afraid I would shame you
if you remained in that moment," he said, his ears turning bright
pink.

"Shame me?" I asked, confused by how he could
possibly shame me, the dirty Englisher.

His blush grew, and he frowned, his eyebrows drawing
up tight on his forehead.

"Kate, you have an indescribable hold on me, since
the first moment I met you. You are like nothing I have ever known.
I have tried to deny it, to say it is merely temptation wanting to
lead me astray, but it is more than that. Perhaps you are here for
a reason that only God knows. But it is only a matter of time
before you realize that you miss your home and leave us," he said
and looked towards me, his eyes drawing me in to their tormented
depths once more.

I slid a little closer to him, his eyes widening for
a moment and his mouth opening in protest before my finger tip
touched his battered lips gently.

"I have no interest in going back there, Nathan. I
can't go back to that. I don’t know where I belong. But here? It's
daunting I admit it. I know I will mess up. I don't understand most
of what you do here. I know there are rules but I don't know them.
I'll break them, I am sure. But I'd like to find my way here if I
can. If it’s even possible," I whispered softly.

“Anything is possible,” he said. A hint of a smile
cracked at his lip, causing it to bleed again. I traced the wound,
wiping away the blood before it could run. He seemed to sense my
distress over his injuries and pulled my hand back into his own for
a moment before returning it to my lap. His fingertips lingered
against the flesh along the top of my thigh as he held me.

His touch was feather light as it moved with a
tentative curiosity along my arm and up, brushing lightly across
the welt I could feel pounding along my hairline from where I had
struck the door. I winced at the slight pressure, knowing the
bruise would hurt more tomorrow.

"I thought he had struck you dead," he whispered, his
breath coming a little harder when he turned away to concentrate on
the road ahead, his hands returning to the reins in a
white-knuckled grip.

"I was scared he'd hurt you. He’s strong," I said,
watching his jaw clench.

"I am not afraid of him," he murmured. His hand
flexed slightly, as if to temper his anger.

I was quiet while we traveled, wondering if he truly
was unafraid of Sean.

"I am sorry you had to hear what he said," I
whispered after a while, terrified that perhaps Nathan believed the
things Sean had said.

"He had no right to behave as he did. What he said,
what he did to you? That is not allowed in my world. You deserve
better than what he has done. That would not happen here. I would
not," he started before shaking his head, sliding away from me as
another buggy approached.

I slipped back over to my side, unsure how it would
appear with Nathan to be riding with someone like me. The buggy
passed, the occupant waving to Nathan who returned it and continued
on. I was contemplating how things had changed when I felt his hand
brush across mine and take it lightly into his once more. Looking
over, I caught the brief smile flicker across his lips and he let
his eyes close for a moment, his thumb lightly stroking across my
knuckles.

He had come after me, had stood up to Sean, and his
gentle smile as he grazed my hand sent shivers through my body at
the thought that I had made him happy. He was truly interested in
me. I just had no idea how to continue by their standards. What I
had experienced so far suggested I was well out of my league in
matters of dating. I had a feeling everything I had learned from
Sean would be taboo in Nathan's world. Just the kiss had sent him
running. Would he ignore me when others were around?

"I don't know how to act around you," I murmured.

He opened his eyes and his smile fought the tightness
of the cut. But his eyes danced as he took me in.