Here & Now (16 page)

The last place I want my fucking girlfriend is a bar with Amelia. I don’t even care that Kayden was cool with letting Belle go. Belle isn’t Caddy.

“Remember Trixie’s?

Yeah. One of the old haunts I picked Amelia up from when we first got together. I know it well. It’s a piece of shit dive bar and the last place I want to hear that Caddy went to. The guys in there are bad news, even for my girl.

“They went to Trixie’s?”

“Yeah. Apparently they did an overhaul on the place and it’s the grand opening tonight. Free drinks for the girls and karaoke.”

“And you’re cool with letting Belle go there?”

“No.” He laughs. “Are you kidding me? I fought her on it, but man, she wants to break out of her shell. Until I took her to the damn beach she hadn’t even been there. She’s fucking sheltered, so I told her I was cool with it.”

“And are you?”

“Not on your life. Why do you think I keep ignoring the fucking game so I can stare at the phone?”

Well at least the way I’m feeling isn’t just me.

“What the fuck is Amelia thinking?”

“Eric’s out of town, she’s tired of missing him and wants to go have fun. At least that’s what she told Belle.”

“You know the way she was before.”

“I do, but Ames isn’t the same girl anymore. She’s not going there to get wasted and forget the shit with her dad. She’s going there to have fun and sing.”

“Another tidbit you got from Belle?”

“Yeah. If I’m gonna let her walk out the door, she’s gonna make sure I know everything.”

The level of trust between these two, it’s huge and despite them both being my best friends, I’m jealous. I have something like that with Cadence, but it’s definitely not the same, at least not yet. I wouldn’t have let her walk out the door earlier. I trust her, but when it comes to the rest of the world, they can get bent. I don’t trust anyone.

Cadence has already been through enough, the last thing she needs is some fucker in a bar giving her trouble and me not being there to put an end to it.

“You’re gonna go down there, aren’t you?”

“Are you telling me that you haven’t been thinking the same damn thing since Belle walked out of here earlier?”

He laughs and I know I’ve read the situation right. I don’t care how much he loves her and how willing he is to let her go through with this idea of breaking out of her shell more, Kayden is still a protective asshole. He probably wants to be there even more than I do and the need I have to get off the sofa right now and get in my car is extreme.

“You know I do, but if we walk in there with our chests puffed out like apes, it’s just going to make them think we don’t trust them. You really wanna deal with the fight that’s gonna cause?”

“If it means that I keep my girl safe, you’re damn fucking right I do.”

Leaning back into the sofa and pushing myself up, I pause once I’m standing and throw him a look.

“You coming or what?”

Cadence

I feel bad for Belle.

We’ve been here for about an hour and the noise, it’s made her place her hands over her ears about six times. Noises I am so thankful I can’t hear.

When Amelia and Belle dropped this on me, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but getting to see the way Amelia lit up the minute we walked in and how quickly she made a beeline for the bright red and black jukebox in the corner, everything is clear. I’m happy to do this even if it’s not my idea of a good time because it makes her happy. I like her a lot more when she’s happy.

Belle, though, she’s regretting this, I can tell.

Noise is a big thing for her. We’ve talked about it before and judging from the amount of people here, all of them talking, the music playing with people constantly putting money in the machine and then proceeding to dance around the place and then the people getting up on the stage and singing, it’s got to be driving her insane.

Tapping her on the shoulder and waiting patiently as she turns around to face me, I point to the door, more than a little eager to get her away from what’s obviously causing her distress and keep her grounded.

She doesn’t talk about it much, but she’s still prone to accidents and sensory overload, which is why the small steps she takes every couple of months, wanting to get out and do things, they’re always controlled by her and the people she’s doing them with. The last thing she wants is to go backwards when she’s doing everything in her power to keep moving forward.

Following where I’m pointing, she smiles before sliding off the barstool and making a beeline for the peace she’s sure to get on the outside.

For me, not being able to hear, all of this is peaceful. I can take in everything in going on around me, focus on what people are saying with them having no idea I’m even paying attention and not worry about anything. It’s probably wrong, but watching people when they have no idea they’re being watched is kind of entertaining. People are definitely weird when they drink, which is probably another reason I don’t plan on ever doing it.

I get the feeling that if half of the people I’ve watched tonight knew what they were saying, they wouldn’t ever want to do it again either. They bring a whole new meaning to the world embarrassing. Especially the one talking about getting revenge on her ex by sleeping with his best friend.

Watching as Belle passes by a couple of guys making their way through the door, my gaze lands on the taller one with the light brown hair and when he catches me, his eyes go wide.

“It’s you.” He says and I have no idea what he means. Looking around me, I try to pick out someone else around me that he might be talking to, but no one else is even paying attention.

For whatever reason, this guy who I don’t think I’ve ever seen before knows me and that peaceful feeling from earlier starts to fade away. Maybe coming here was the mistake I thought it was after all.

Turning and saying something to the guy he’s with, he turns his attention back to me and the door that I can now see Belle has completely made her way out of. Moving along and pushing my way through it, I don’t stop until I’m outside and standing as close to my friend as I can get. The guy’s large frame imposing once he stops in front of us.

“I know this is gonna sound fucked, but I know you.”

Belle steps forward and even though I know it’s gotta be hard for her, she blocks the guy from stepping closer. She knows how I am about speaking in public, especially with people that have never heard me before, so she’s helping the way she always does.

“Pretty sure you don’t know her, so why don’t you go back inside.”

“You’re Murphy’s girlfriend, right?”

Watching his lips move and seeing Dillon’s name, the fear at not being able to place this guy settles and I’m finally able to break the awkwardness of the moment by letting my lips rise just a little, which from the way he matches me, the guy seems to like.

“I’m on the team with him.”

His hands are moving and at first I don’t understand why, but the more I watch, the more I can see that he’s signing, which means this is definitely someone that knows Dillon and because of that knows all about me.

I should be upset about this, but I’m not. The smile on his face, the ease at which he signs to me, I can tell that he means no harm with it and he’s just trying to make things easier, something that despite my earlier fear, I’m grateful for.

It’s obvious you know me, but I don’t know you. I’m sorry.

The guy doesn’t miss a beat. When Belle moves back after seeing my previous stance go from hard to more relaxed, he moves forward, the smile never once leaving and his eyes even in the darkness of the night almost glowing.

“I’m Ryder.”

Ryder. Going over everything Dillon’s told me about the team since he got back, the name sounds familiar to me, but I still don’t know as much about him as I’d like to. The more I sit and take him in though, the more he does start to look familiar, which can only mean I saw him in passing on one of my visits to the school.

“I’m sorry for freaking you out.”

It’s okay.

“Is he here with you?”

“No, it’s just us and our friend tonight.” Belle cuts in before I can get my hands up to sign. “And before you even think about it, we’re not interested.”

Where I expect Ryder to get mad, roll his eyes or say something disgusting the way I’m used to, he just smiles even more and nods his head in acceptance. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. Even if this wasn’t him and instead was one of the guys from my school, they would have reacted in some way that would have made me want to slap them. With Ryder, he’s doing the complete opposite.

“No worries. I don’t fuck around with shit like that and Dillon is a friend. I just wanted to say hey.”

“Guys like you never just want to say hello.” Belle says and I have to admit, I agree with her. The guys on Dillon’s team, Belle’s told me a lot about them and how they operate. The things that a few of them have said to her since she got here and a lot of them are total jerks.

It seems that Ryder might just be the only one who isn’t.

“Well, this guy does. Like I said, Murphy is a friend and even if I wanted to be a total prick right now and hit on his girl and her friend, I’ve got someone waiting on me inside.”

I have no idea if he’s aware of it or even if Belle, who is usually as observant as me, is picking up on it, but what he’s saying, the things he wants us to believe, it’s not reaching all the way to his eyes. I’ve got no doubt he’s got someone waiting for him inside, but he’s not as excited about it as he wants us to believe.

There’s definitely more going on here than meets the eye.

Hi Ryder. It’s nice to meet you.

Belle is doing her best to be Dillon, acting like some kind of guard dog for me, but she’s been standing here as long as I have now. If Ryder was going to make a move or do something inappropriate, he would have already done it. For now with this guy, I’m safe.

“Nice to meet you too.” He grins before extending his hand. Once I’ve taken it, he grips onto it and leans his body in closer, almost as if what he’s about to say next is a secret only I can hear. Or in this case see, but Belle has no part of it and leans in with him.

“I’m definitely letting him know the next time I see him what a lucky asshole he is.”

Releasing the hold on my hand, he winks at me before turning and walking back toward the bar, leaving me with flushed cheeks and a very confused Belle staring back at me once he’s back inside and we’re completely alone.

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. Ryder is definitely not someone I can get a read on, which considering how easy it is for me to tell things about people, annoys me.

“He’s kind of cute.”

“Good thing Kayden’s not around.”

She laughs but there’s no mistaking the tinge to her cheeks. Even in the dark, she’s blushing, which means getting caught admiring another guy and me bringing up Kayden has embarrassed her.

“I have a feeling even Kayden would admit he’s cute, if that makes sense.”

Not wanting to get into the ways that she’s right about the way Ryder looks, and how unlike anyone else on the team he resembles, I just shrug again and decide on a subject change. The reason why we’re even outside in the first place.

“Belle, what are we doing here?”

“I honestly don’t know. I wanted to take a chance on something different and make Amelia happy, but I can’t take it. It’s too much. I’d rather hear Kayden yell and swear at the game then go back in there.”

“You want me to go in and get her so we can get out of here?”

“Yeah.” She nods. “I would love if you could do that.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright out here on your own for a few minutes?”

“She’s not gonna be alone.”

Catching the person’s lips moving before Belle can even turn around and acknowledge the voice that answered her, Kayden’s arms come up from behind her and immediately scoop her up off the ground. As happy as it makes me that I don’t have to worry about taking some random guy down for touching my friend, my heart plummets when I realize he’s alone.

Dillon isn’t here.

“I’ll go get her.” I inform them as I see Belle placed back on the ground, and heading toward the bar, more than a little eager now to get Amelia and get the heck out of here, a body steps in my path blocking me.

With as much room as there is out here to move, why the hell did he have to get in my path?

Moving to the side before starting to walk again, I finally look up and meet the person standing in front of me. The body that again as I tried to move and go around him, stepped in my path.

He’s here.

“Usually when your boyfriend shows up, you smile, Caddy. What’s with this frowning shit? Have I been replaced already?”

His tone is light, his laughter infectious and after a few seconds of standing completely still and taking him in, I move forward and smack him gently on the chest before letting his arms come completely around and bring me into him.