Hesitant Heart (11 page)

Sam inhaled deeply. “Yes, Sir.”

“Very good. Now stay still.”

Sam almost asked Aaron whether they were done until he remembered that it wasn’t his place to ask about those things. It was Aaron’s job to handle everything, to direct Sam so he didn’t have to think about it. All he had to do was let Aaron take charge.

He heard Aaron move around the room, but he refused to look up. He wouldn’t fail his very first, real assignment. It wasn’t easy remaining in place. He wanted to fidget, to chew. The fight to keep from moving made him think about nothing but wanting to move. Even though he was merely standing, not doing anything that required any physical strength, sweat broke out on his forehead. He was going to disappoint Aaron. Before he could stop himself, he whimpered.

“Sam.”

He startled, but didn’t break his stance. The gentle voice had been right next to his ear. He’d been so focused on remaining still, he hadn’t even realized Aaron was close.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m going to fail.”

“No, you’re not. You’re doing very well. If it isn’t perfect this time, it will be better next time because you’ll keep trying, right?”

Sam exhaled on a long breath. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good boy. Now, remain in position but follow me to the bed.”

Sam did as he was told, careful to keep his eyes cast down as he walked behind Aaron. Aaron held a hand up for Sam to stop. He could see from his peripheral vision that Aaron had sat on the edge of the bed, his feet planted shoulder width apart.

“Relax.”

Sam dropped his arms to his side and shook out his hands. But he remained straight and didn’t raise his eyes.

“Come here.” Aaron maintained his same even tone. “You’re going to lie across my lap, face down.”

Sam swallowed hard. He knew there would be many things happening between them in the beginning that would be mysterious and scary until he learned more about Aaron’s way of life—Sam’s way now too. He reminded himself over and over that he trusted Aaron, knew Aaron was a good man—and that Aaron would take care of, protect and guide him.

It was awkward to position himself and he felt a bit silly. Aaron helped him by manipulating his body, scooting him forward so that his ass tipped higher in the air. Aaron’s knees were far enough apart that Sam’s cock dangled between them. Once Aaron seemed to have Sam’s body the way he wanted, Aaron closed his knees so that only a small amount of room was left for Sam’s hard dick to poke between them.

“Put your hands down on the floor.”

Sam could barely reach because he was so short. He was really only able to get his fingertips to touch the rug. Aaron placed a strong, comforting hand at the small of his back as if holding him in place.

“You will be spanked with my hand ten times each morning. If you’re having difficulty concentrating or obeying, I might increase the amount of strikes. It won’t be considered a punishment. It’s merely a tool to help give you structure, encourage calm and focus.”

Never had Sam wanted to ask a question so much in his life. Maybe when they were done, he would. He’d never been spanked as a child—his father had always used much harsher punishments. And his father had always been angry the way Aaron had said he would never be when he struck Sam.

Suddenly it made sense. Aaron wasn’t angry. He was letting Sam know what to expect. Maybe it was all a good idea—part of what guiding him was all about. If standing still for a few minutes was so damn hard, maybe he really could use a good spanking to gain some focus.

“Eventually, I won’t warn you. But until you become accustomed to this, I’ll let you know what I’m doing. Are you frightened of me, little Sam?”

“No, Sir. Thank you for helping me, Sir.”

Aaron stroked the fleshy part of his rear with the hand not holding him in place.

“You’re welcome, sweet Sam. I’m going to give you the first one.”

The resounding smack shocked him. He yelped then instinctually tried to propel himself away.

“Stay still. Keep your ass up.”

Still.

Another thwack landed on the other cheek and Sam gritted his teeth.

“Breathe, little Sam.”

Sam closed his eyes and concentrated on taking air in and out the way he had after he’d fainted at the bathhouse. Two more slaps landed on his cheeks, the sting building. Aaron lightly rubbed Sam’s heated flesh and he sighed at the sensation. The thrum of energy under his skin that he’d experienced the day before, in anticipation of sex, built again.

There were four more hits to his ass, harder than the ones before, the pain sharpening. He grunted with each strike, but took breaths in between. He remembered what Aaron had said about stopping things, that he could use the word ‘mercy’.

Aaron paused to caress his rear and it was even more soothing and wonderful than before. As his body had been pushed forward with each hit, his dick had rubbed against Aaron’s leg. The friction, hurt, tingling, and light touching had all combined together to excite him. He was hard. Aaron had told him there would be ten spanks and he’d only had eight. He hoped Aaron didn’t forget the last ones.

Still Aaron petted his ass in gentle circles. “So very pretty, little Sam. Your skin is beautifully pinked.” Aaron sighed. “Only two more.”

The final slaps stung
hard
. Aaron immediately soothed his aching flesh with the soft touch of his fingers. Sam started when Aaron opened his legs and reached around Sam’s middle to grasp his leaking cock.

“Mmm, just as I’d hoped. Don’t expect this every morning Sam, but you did remarkably well for your first spanking. You can come whenever you’d like.”

Sam was still splayed face down across Aaron’s lap, completely reliant on Aaron to keep him in place. Aaron’s hand was hot, powerful. It didn’t take much effort for Aaron to cause him to shoot, splashes hitting the floor as he did. He didn’t see why he couldn’t expect it every morning when it was such a fantastic way to start the day.

Aaron eased him off his lap then stood with him.

“Let’s clean up in here, then clean ourselves in the shower. Afterwards, I have a cream I can rub on you to help ease the pain.”

“It’s not bad, Sir. It was the erotic kind.”

Chuckling, Aaron pulled him in for a hug. “Yes, it was for me too.”

That confused Sam. “But you didn’t get hit.”

“Actually, my hand did. But it was spectacular to share the sting, to have that intimate connection with you.”

Filled with contentment, Sam couldn’t wait to really begin his whole new life with Aaron—with his Sir.

* * * *

Aaron gazed down upon the lovely form of his sweet submissive. They’d played for several days—every moment spent together learning one another’s bodies, sharing stories from their lives. Sam’s training had been moving along remarkably well for someone so innocent. Perhaps his father had inadvertently contributed to Sam’s willingness to learn about Aaron’s lifestyle. Since Sam had been kept shielded from so many aspects of life, he had little in the way of comparison.

Gradually adding new facets to their dynamic each day, Aaron had found Sam to be incredibly responsive. He was so loving, so eager to please. Whenever Aaron gave him even the mildest of praise, Sam would beam up at him. He stood straighter and appeared more self-assured then he had since that last day at the bathhouse. But what Aaron loved most of all was his laughter. Sam loved to laugh.

Aaron had yet to take Sam’s virginity or even breach him anally. There had been several not very subtle hints from Sam, but Aaron had managed to distract him with oral pleasures or dry rutting. Another act that Sam greatly enjoyed was when Aaron would wrap his fist around both of their erections at once then masturbate them together. It had become a thrill for Sam when Aaron would tell him to wait so that they could both come together. Sometimes Aaron would deliberately hold back to see how long Sam could. Those were the times when Sam didn’t even realize Aaron was training him. It had all seemed like fun to Sam.

Lately, there had been more bondage. Sam was a pliant instrument in Aaron’s hands and he was humbled by the complete trust Sam offered him. In addition to the spankings, Aaron had focused on Sam’s tender nipples. His young lover reacted beautifully when clothespins were clamped onto his taut buds.

Sam lay across a bearskin rug on his belly. His face was turned to one side, his arms raised above his head, his wrists held captive by a blue silk scarf. Black silk drapery cord was wound around his ankles, the tasseled ends trailing artfully across the rug. The gentle swell of Sam’s perfect ass was the focal point of the pose. Sam had dozed off more than once as Aaron had painted him, but he’d stayed very still whenever he was awake. Aaron planned to give him a special reward for his stellar behavior.

“Sir?”

Aaron glanced down, then back up as he checked for subtle nuances, shading that he could integrate into the almost completed painting.

“What is it, little Sam?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m really thirsty.”

“Being thirsty is nothing to apologize for.”

“But you’re doing something important right now.”

“Yes, but so are you.”

Sam’s brow creased. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, little Sam. I may be painting, but you’re the one who’s posing. There wouldn’t be a picture without you.”

He peeked at Sam to check his reaction. Aaron had reached the point where he could read his young lover very well. Sam gave serious consideration to everything Aaron told him. Sometimes the weight of that responsibility terrified Aaron. It would be so easy to take advantage, to damage Sam’s delicate psyche, his gentle soul. Whenever Sam mentioned things about his father in passing, Aaron’s blood boiled. How could anyone ever want to mistreat such a sweet person?

Aaron was pleased that Sam hadn’t protested that he wasn’t as important or that his time wasn’t as worthwhile as Aaron’s. He’d had to reinforce to Sam on more than one occasion that he was a valuable person all on his own and that Aaron cherished him.

One evening Sam had become agitated after Aaron had praised him for being smart. Sam’s ass had been more sore than usual from his discipline and Aaron had brought out a cream made from the extract of a plant. Sam had sniffed it and told Aaron that it was Leopard’s Bane, also known as Arnica. Aaron had been impressed and had told him so. Sam had brushed it off, telling Aaron that his father had always told him he was dumb and that he’d accepted it. When Aaron had asked Sam if he was calling Aaron a liar, Sam had cried.

Aaron had made Sam write a hundred times ‘I’m smart and good’ on some of Aaron’s sketch paper. The crying had transformed into sniffling then as Sam had finished, his typical bright smile. Aaron had taken him to bed and slowly licked and kissed every inch of Sam’s body, bringing him to climax twice before allowing him to sleep. Then he’d awoken him and made him come again.

Aaron dabbed his flat brush on a spot near Sam’s shoulder in the picture. Satisfied that he had the shadowing correct, he lay it down. He knew he should go through the process of cleaning the brushes with the turpentine, but taking care of Sam’s needs were more important.

I can buy more damn brushes.

“Thank you, little Sam. You’ve done a wonderful job. Let’s get you some food and drink.”

After removing his smock, Aaron was once again nude. He would have to wash up before they prepared their meal—there were several swipes of the oils that had managed to make their way onto him as opposed to the canvas. He knelt down next to his boy. Aaron traced his fingers along Sam’s skin, marveling at how exquisite he was. To view him bound was even more breath-taking. It was always such a shame when it was time for Aaron to remove the ties.

He took his time, allowing himself to absorb the sensuality of the experience as he gently loosened Sam’s bonds. How long had he desired to have a man of his own with whom he could practice the joys of bondage? Paying to have a partner for a few hours could never compare to the intimate connection of having someone you cared about living the lifestyle with you every step of the way.

As he untied Sam, Aaron interspersed his attentions with small kisses and loving touches. Like every other time Aaron interacted with Sam, his sweet boy sighed and leaned in to nuzzle Aaron’s hand. There were some times when Aaron wasn’t certain which part of him was fuller—his cock or his heart. Sam filled them both.

Aaron massaged Sam’s limbs to ease any stiffness that might have occurred from being tied and in the same position for so long. The small sighs that Sam made already had Aaron painfully hard. He’d always been a lusty man, had desired many interludes. Yet there was something so special about his little Sam that it had managed to increase Aaron’s yearnings more than ever before.

The first thing that Aaron did after bringing Sam with him to the kitchen was to give him a full glass of water. Then they worked alongside one another to prepare their meal, as they typically did. Sam chopped up some tomatoes and radishes for a green salad. Aaron boiled some pasta to which he would add the remaining marinara sauce he’d made the day before. His time spent in Europe had been a large influence on him when it came to his culinary preferences.

Sam added the olive oil and balsamic vinegar to the greens then shook some salt and pepper over it. He tossed everything together, humming as he did. It sounded like an old nursery rhyme—no doubt another area where Sam’s father had kept him stunted by not allowing the young man to hear any modern music. Sam had told Aaron that his father believed that even most classical music was the work of the devil. Hymns were acceptable, so the composers who had created those pieces of music were excused from Sam’s father’s judgment.

Once they’d carried their food into the dining room and set everything down, Sam descended to his knees on the velvet pillow next to Aaron’s chair. Aaron petted his head a few times, Sam leaning into the touch as he always did. Then Aaron speared a piece of romaine lettuce and a small tomato wedge. Holding his hand underneath the fork in case the dressing dripped, Aaron brought the food over to Sam. Sam opened his mouth to take a bite of what Aaron offered him, closing his eyes as he chewed. It was Aaron’s turn and he took a similar bite. The way they ate, only one dish or bowl and one set of utensils was ever needed.