Hesitant Heart (8 page)

All he could do was nod. It was too humiliating.

“Sweet, perfect, little Sam. How could I be this fortunate?”

He inhaled on a gasp. “You don’t think there’s something wrong with me? That I’m a freak?”

Aaron gripped both his arms. “Don’t you
ever
believe that. You understand? You are wonderful exactly the way you are.”

He had to be hearing things. “And you still want me?”

Aaron gave him a full smile, his eyes lighting up as he did. “Even more than I did and I hadn’t even known that was possible.”

Sam’s heart fluttered as he mulled it all over. So many amazing things had happened to him in a very short time. Aaron pulled him close to his chest, then cradled his head with one hand, embracing him and grasping his thigh with the other.

“Thank you, Sam. You’ve shared some very personal things with me. I appreciate your trust. It’s only fair that I tell you about me too.”

Aaron kissed his temple then pulled back so he could look into his eyes once more.

“It makes me excited when I tie men up.”

Sam held his breath. He didn’t mean to, but he was sure he had to be hearing things again. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

It wasn’t until he snapped his jaw shut that he realized it had been hanging open. “Can we go do that right now?”

Aaron sputtered then broke into gales of laughter. Sam was about to work himself up into a good dose of anger when Aaron pulled him close, rocking him, kissing his head and face over and over.

I want him to kiss my mouth.

Aaron pulled back, his eyes glittery and happy. “Very soon, Sam. I’m trying to go slow because you have no experience. I don’t want you to become overwhelmed. Remember? It’s my job to watch out for you.”

“Okay, I understand.”

As he caressed Sam’s forehead, stroking his hair back, Aaron continued to gaze at him. He looked all over Sam’s face, his body, almost as if he were inspecting him. His expression reminded Sam of someone in awe, but he couldn’t imagine why Aaron would be staring at him in that way. Aaron stilled his movements, locking eyes with him.

“There are also other activities that get me excited. Activities that used to make me think I was a freak too, but I’ve learned not to believe that anymore. You will probably think them strange. I’ll go slow with you—like with everything else—but these are things I need to do with a man to keep me happy.”

“What things?”

“I like inflicting erotic pain. Especially when my partner is tied up.”

Sam understood the pain part quite well. He had no idea what ‘erotic’ meant though.

“What’s erotic pain?”

“It’s the kind of pain someone gives you to make you sexually excited. It’s never done in anger, only for both partner’s gratification.”

“Oh.” Sam wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He had to admit that it did seem kind of strange. “But how does the pain make you excited?”

“Will you let me try something with you? You don’t need to remove your clothes or get off my lap. Just let me reach up and play with your nipples.”

Finally.

He’d ached for Aaron to touch him beyond the embraces. Those were wonderful, but he wanted real touches, lover’s touches.

Sam nodded enthusiastically as he untucked his shirt. He would’ve unbuttoned it and taken it off, but Aaron reached one of his large, warm hands under the cotton work shirt and tank underneath. Sam hissed at the intimate contact. It felt different than Aaron’s caresses up to that point. Aaron used his fingers to gently knead, to explore his flesh.

When Aaron reached his nipple, he teased the nub, flicking it lightly. Sam’s penis hardened, throbbing and leaking. His little buds had always been very sensitive—something he’d discovered when touching himself—but having someone else do it was unbelievably good. Is that what Aaron meant by erotic? If it was, he wanted to do erotic things all the time.

Aaron stopped worrying his tightened tip and moved to torment the other one. Sam arched into Aaron’s touch, moaning, his breathing speeding up. Then Aaron flicked the nipple back and forth, switched to the other one again, then once more. Sam clutched at Aaron, his grip tightening, along with his balls. A sharp pinch followed by a harsh twist made him cry out. He came. Warmth spread between his legs, soaking his underwear. Aaron continued to tease his nipples as his member pulsed and twitched, more of his seed spilling. He’d never climaxed so hard or so long before. Aaron’s touch was like magic.

Melting into Aaron’s arms, he peered up at him from under his lashes. Aaron’s face was flushed, his gaze filled with desire, the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Very good, Sam. We’re going to enjoy one another quite a bit.”

“I made a mess.”

“I think it’s wonderful. In the future, we will work on your self-control, but what you just did was spectacular.”

It was still difficult to follow everything that Aaron spoke of, but Sam knew that Aaron would teach him everything. And he wanted to be taught very, very much. As Aaron continued to consider him, one other thing nagged at him. Since Aaron had told him to say everything that was on his mind, Sam resolved that he would. He would never, ever want to disappoint Aaron.

“Will you kiss me?”

Aaron’s smile widened. “Of course I will, little Sam. But let’s get you cleaned up first, shall we? I want you to be comfortable for your first kiss.”

Sam nodded eagerly, sitting up and moving off Aaron’s lap. He was shown into the large bathroom next to Aaron’s bedroom. He hoped it would be his bedroom too, but they hadn’t really talked about that yet. The bathroom was very modern, much more so than the ones back at his father’s Victorian mansion.

There were white hexagonal tiles on the floor, with large square ones that rose up on the walls, stopping right about where Sam’s chin was. A porcelain lip edged the top and right below it was a black line detailing it the circumference of the entire room. He’d never seen a separate cubicle for a shower with an etched glass door before. It was right next to the curved bottom tub that was set in the floor. The one he’d used at home had been on legs that had feet like an animal’s. Inside the shower were steel pipes that ran up the side and were attached to a large steel circle above. When Aaron turned on the spigots, water came out of small holes in the circle like a heavy mist.

“Come on, little Sam. Let’s get you out of those wet clothes. I’ll bring in your other ones.” Aaron frowned. “We’ll have to do some shopping this week for more.”

Sam was about to protest until he remembered how he was supposed to let Aaron take care of him, make all the decisions. As he unbuttoned his shirt, he experienced a wave of shyness. Aaron had let him use the washroom alone that morning at the hotel. But if they were going to do sex things, he would have to take off his clothes. And, of course, he’d seen Aaron nude many times. As he pondered it, he realized that he’d seen Aaron more with his clothes off than with them on.

“Don’t hide your body from me. Have I ever hidden mine from you?” Aaron didn’t appear upset at all. He had that same twinkle in his eye that Sam loved.

“Okay.”

He finished unbuttoning his shirt then removed the rest of his clothing. He held them in a pile in front of him, unable to meet Aaron’s eyes. He’d never been completely naked in front of anyone before, with the exception of his mother. But that had stopped when he’d been about eleven or twelve—when he’d started to grow hair on his private parts.

“You’re still hiding, Sam.”

He almost chewed his lip. Almost. Aaron had his arms outstretched, obviously wanting Sam to give him the clothes. Relinquishing the bundle to Aaron, he waited while he put them in a straw basket next to the door. When Aaron turned to gaze at his exposed body, he couldn’t stop the trembling.

“Cold?”

Sam shook his head. The radiator that Aaron had turned on when they’d first entered had kept the room at a comfortable temperature.

“Frightened?”

“N-no…”

“Tell me.”

“I’m embarrassed.”

Aaron arched his eyebrows. “You’ve never been naked in front of anyone, have you?”

“No. Not since I grew hair on my man parts.”

Aaron’s lip quirked. “I see. Another thing I’d like to do with you is expand your vocabulary a bit. But that can be done as we move along. You have a beautiful body, Sam. I like it very much.” He motioned to the shower. “Come on. Let’s get you washed up.”

Sam grinned. Things kept getting better. Aaron opened the glass door that had begun to steam up and gestured for him to get inside. After soaping up with an amber colored bar that smelled like nothing he’d ever come across before, he shut the water off then dried himself with a fluffy green towel. He liked the towel. It was soft and thick and reminded him of being in a forest.

Aaron strolled into the room, startling Sam. He’d just finished peeing and he would’ve been more embarrassed than he’d ever been in his life if Aaron had seen him doing
that
. Aaron regarded him.

“I heard the toilet flush, Sam. We’re at the beginning, but don’t expect privacy with me. You’re mine.
All
of you. Agreed?”

Sam’s cheeks were warm and he wasn’t sure if he would ever not be self-conscious over such a thing, but he nodded. He would never disagree with Aaron about anything.

“I need to hear you say it out loud, so we have no misunderstandings.”

It was the sound of Aaron’s voice. It was that same easy, calm tone he continuously used that made Sam’s insides all gooey.

“Agreed.”

Aaron gave him a warm smile. “Good boy.”

Sam smiled back. Newly emboldened, he pulled the towel away to expose himself to Aaron’s eyes.

“Where do you want me to put this?”

The approval projected back at him from Aaron filled his heart with joy. He’d pleased Aaron. Every chance he got from that moment on, he would find ways to make Aaron look at him like that. Aaron gestured to the towel rod next to the shower.

“This can be your place.”

After Sam had neatly folded his towel over the bar, Aaron extended his hand and led him to the large bed in the middle of the other room. He patted the mattress, the blankets and duvet already pulled to the end, only the dark green sheets left as a covering.

Sam clambered onto it, a buzz thrumming under his skin as he excitedly wondered if Aaron would tie him up. But he still wanted one other thing first.

Aaron dropped his robe then gracefully joined him on the bed. Sam must have had a questioning expression on his face.

“Ask me anything you’d like, Sam. I don’t want you frightened or confused about anything we do together. And before you ask—no fucking, tying or pain today. We can talk about it, but we won’t be doing it. Clear?”

“Yes. We will be doing other things though, right?”

“Anything else is fine, little Sam.”

Sam flitted his eyes down to Aaron’s hardening length. He was relieved to see that Aaron was excited too.

“Talk to me.”

“Well…that man, Louis, the one who drove me down here, he told me that men can do lots of things to each other.”

Sam noticed Aaron’s expression darken.

“Yes. That’s true. Why, pray tell, was this stranger telling you such things?”

“Oh, when I first got in his motorcar, he asked if I liked boys instead of girls. When I said yes, he wanted to know if I’d ever been fucked. I didn’t know what he meant.” Sam tried not to blush, but he could feel the tell-tale heat. “He told me that a man could put it in another man’s rump, but I wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth. Then I asked him what other things men could do and he talked about them putting their parts in each other’s mouths, licking…” Sam cleared his throat. “I’d thought there would only ever be touching or rubbing up against each other.”

“And those are nice things to do too. But he was right about all the others as well.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Do any of those acts scare or bother you? Such as a man putting his cock up your ass?”

Sam swallowed hard. “Um…maybe.”

His gaze dropped to Aaron’s fully hardened organ… Cock. It seemed awfully large to fit inside him.

“Would it hurt? I mean, not the erotic pain, but
really
hurt?”

“It might at first, but I would stop if it ever did. However, if I’ve prepared you enough, the hurt would turn into the erotic kind and it would help make you come. There’s a spot inside your anal passage, a gland that has very sensitive nerves. When that gland is stimulated, it gives men a lot of wonderful pleasure.”

It was an amazing secret that Sam had never known. Like all the other things his father had kept from him, it was something good that he’d been missing out on. Or maybe it was a mystery that only a few special men knew about, men as knowledgeable as Aaron. Sam marveled once again at his good fortune.

“That sounds terrific. Then why can’t we fuck yet?”

“Good Lord, Sam.” Aaron chuckled. “I’m overjoyed by your eagerness, but I’m the one in charge, right? This is your first day, so I’m letting several things slide. However, if you can’t give me your unquestioning obedience, there will be consequences. Punishments.”

Sam gasped. “You mean you would slap me across the face, hit me with a switch? Or take away my food for a day?”

Aaron reacted as if he’d been struck himself and a very serious look crossed his face. Aaron’s voice remained low, but there was more of an intensity to it. “I would
never
hit you in your face.
Ever
. That’s humiliating. I know some men who do that to their submissives and submissives who like it, but I don’t. I would never starve you either, nor would I ever strike you in anger. We can discuss what punishments would be fair for disobedience later on.” Aaron’s expression softened, the twinkle returning. “Perhaps no cream sodas for a week?”

Sam’s body relaxed. “Thank you, Aaron. I know you’re a good man. I apologize for getting upset.”

“And thank you for apologizing.” Aaron stroked his knuckles across Sam’s cheek. “Such a sweet thing. You already know I
will
be hitting you though, correct?”

Sam nodded. “But it’ll be the erotic one.”