Hesitant Heart (16 page)

“So, Sam is it? Let’s discuss when you can come in next. And we need to get you that peat moss too, before you leave.”

“And two plants to take home.”

Martin and Sam both regarded Aaron.

“That was my original reason for bringing you here today, Sam. You need to have some at home. I think the palm is lonely.” Aaron winked at him.

The bell jangled again and the woman had left. Aaron peered over his shoulder then gestured for Sam to come to him. He didn’t question whether he should or not, not for an instant. He threw himself into Aaron’s arms and Aaron kissed the top of his head.

Aaron whispered. “Go pick out your plants. I’m going to talk to Martin about what days you can work.”

Sam tipped his head back. “Does that mean you’ll let me repay you?”

He pressed his lips together, but seemed to have determined he was fighting a losing battle. “When you find out how much you’ll be making, you can give me ten percent.”

“That doesn’t seem like very much, I should give you at least half.”

“Sam. Are you arguing with me?”

He thought about the punishment where he’d had his cock and balls tied up and hadn’t been allowed to come.

“No, Sir. I’m not arguing. Ten percent sounds perfect.”

Aaron whispered into his ear again, “Good boy.”

* * * *

He worked for four hours, three days a week, helping Martin and his special friend Phillip take care of the plants. Sam had figured out that they were going around together, which was why Aaron hadn’t minded that they hug in front of Martin. Once in a while, Sam would help customers who had problems with their plants. Martin had told him that he had a natural instinct when it came to them.

He was getting paid ten dollars a week, which meant that Aaron would only be getting a dollar. It seemed very unfair to Aaron, but he didn’t dare argue. Sam had just received his first week’s pay and had purchased a new plant to take home with him. He loved the small barrel cactus he‘d bought. As he walked back to their house, he kept turning it around in his hand. It was his first cactus and he was very excited about it. He’d been staring at it all week and had barely been able to contain himself when he’d gotten paid. The money had scarcely been pressed into his palm before he’d run over and grabbed it.

The short journey to the bungalow he shared with Aaron was a nice stroll. It had taken some convincing for Aaron to agree to let him go on his own. It had bordered on arguing, but he’d explained to Aaron that he would be embarrassed if Martin were to see Aaron dropping him off and picking him up every day in the Bearcat when they were only a few blocks away. And anyway, it had been so long since he’d been gone from home, surely his father had given up on searching for him. They’d compromised, with Sam agreeing to be transported when there was inclement weather.

He came to a complete standstill when he got to their driveway. There was a strange blue car parked behind the Bearcat. He wondered if it was Mr Liebowitz, Aaron’s older friend from the bathhouse. Aaron had mentioned that it had been a while since he’d seen him and thought he might have him come by for dinner sometime. Sam knew that as soon as Aaron thought he was fully trained that he would be seeing Saul at the club Aaron had told him about. He shivered when he thought of that, but put it out of his mind in favor of discovering who was in the house.

Cradling the cactus in one hand, he used the other to unlock the door with the key Aaron had had made for him. He heard joyful laughter from inside and figured that he’d guessed correctly about it being Mr Liebowitz. It had to be someone Aaron knew and liked very much. After entering the house, he closed the door then headed for the living area. He almost dropped his new cactus. Aaron and a very handsome young man were lounging on the floor. Aaron had on his silk robe—and nothing else—and he leaned against the wing chair. The stunning blond man—who looked to be not much older than Sam—had the top buttons of his shirt undone, with his bowtie loose and hanging about his neck. His shoes and socks had been removed and he was reclining against the sofa perpendicular to Aaron.

Sam stood in the entryway as if he had just grown roots like one of his plants and couldn’t move. Their merry conversation came to a halt as soon as Aaron spotted Sam.

“Little Sam! You’re home. Come join us. I want you to meet someone.”

Aaron patted the floor next to him. Sam’s stomach was all twisty and his face felt flushed. Everything seemed disjointed. He knew his role when he was inside their home, but he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be following those rules in front of Aaron’s mystery guest. Aaron had already had the talk with Sam where he’d explained that most people, even if they were gay, wouldn’t understand about being Dominant and submissive. Only other people like the ones he knew at the club could be trusted.

But who was this elegant and attractive young man? Why was he in their home? Why was Aaron sitting there with his beautiful long legs on display for this blond man’s eyes?

“Sam. What is it? Are you ill?”

Sam opened then closed his mouth. Yes. He was ill. He didn’t want to be in the same room with that…person.

“I have to go lie down.”

Aaron jumped to his feet, worry etched on his brow. He rushed to Sam’s side, pressing the back of his hand to Sam’s forehead almost as soon as he was near him.

“You don’t seem feverish, but your skin is clammy.”

Aaron’s eyes narrowed and Sam looked away. He was sure Aaron suspected that he didn’t want to go lie down because he wasn’t feeling well. Aaron was too smart to be fooled by such a thing. But Sam didn’t care. He couldn’t be around that other man.

“Thomas, would you excuse me for a moment? I need to make sure that Sam is attended to.”

“No worries. I should be headed out anyway.” Thomas gathered his shoes and socks to begin putting them back on. “I’ll see you both at the club Saturday then?”

The grip that Aaron had had on Sam’s shoulder since he’d rushed to his side tightened. “Possibly. I’ll let you know.”

“Oh? I thought…Uh, of course. Well, if not Saturday, then another time.”

“It was great to see you, Thomas. Thanks for stopping by. We’ll talk soon.”

Aaron squeezed Sam’s shoulder until it bordered on painful and began to lead him to their bedroom.

“You can leave your plant on the dresser.”

He had the sensation that he’d just made some sort of horrible mistake, but he still couldn’t erase the stabs of jealousy that had pierced his heart when he’d first walked in on his lover and his friend, Thomas.

Once he’d set the cactus down, he began to shake. He’d never seen Aaron angry before. He wasn’t sure if that’s what Aaron was right then, but it seemed like it might be. Would he hit him when he was like that even though he’d promised he never would? Would that forever change what they were to one another?

As soon as he heard the front door close, Aaron spoke.

“Strip.”

Aaron’s tone had been commanding, but he hadn’t raised his voice. The trembling started immediately. Sam wanted to ask why he was being punished. That had to be what was happening. He removed all of his clothes then piled them neatly on a chair in the corner of the room.

“Morning display position.”

Aaron had stood stock still, eyeing him the entire time. Fortunately, he wasn’t required to have an erection for his morning position as he doubted that would be possible under the circumstances. Once he’d achieved his stance, Aaron slowly walked around his naked form, as if inspecting him carefully.

“You’re to stand here in perfect position for thirty minutes. Use your focal point on the wall. Concentrate on stillness. I’ll be checking on you from time to time.”

With that, Aaron walked away.

He was alone. What was worse was that it wasn’t the kind of literal alone where all it meant was that Sam was the only person in the room. It was more of an empty, achy feeling in his gut. If he cried, he wouldn’t be able to remain in proper position. The image of Aaron with Thomas kept invading his thoughts. Logically, he knew whatever Aaron was doing with him at that moment was for his benefit. Aaron was trying to help him somehow. That knowledge was the only thing that motivated him to stay in perfect position and focus on his stillness better than he’d ever done before.

Soon, a thread of peace filtered through him. His breathing evened out. The nausea that had threatened him from the moment he’d walked in the door had abated. He heard movement behind him and knew that Aaron had come to check on him.

Because he loves me.

Sam remained focused—he never let his gaze waver from the spot he always used on the opposite wall. It was the blue scarf in the painting that Aaron had first done of him. He detected Aaron in his peripheral vision. Soon, he stood in front of him, but skewed to the side so as not to interrupt Sam’s line of sight on his focal point.

“Good boy.”

It had been said in Aaron’s low, soothing tone. There wasn’t one ounce of anger there.

“Ten more minutes.”

Aaron walked back out of the room and Sam promised himself he would be standing even taller when Aaron came for him again. Now that he’d calmed, he was anxious to speak to Aaron about what he had concluded had been a misunderstanding on his part. His concentration wavered.

No. Don’t get distracted.

Aaron had said ten more minutes of stillness, so that was what he needed. Sam believed more than ever that Aaron knew what was best. Even though Sam had been sure that Aaron was angry—or at the least, very upset—he hadn’t struck him. Right as Sam had descended into the place of calm he typically achieved during his morning ritual, Aaron re-entered the room. Once again, Aaron circled him. This time, he stopped right behind Sam.

“Drop to your knees. Keep your arms in position, chin up, gaze fixed on the floor.”

Sam did as he was told, his gracefulness so improved from when he’d first begun his training with Aaron. After circling again, Aaron stopped directly in front of him. Sam was overly aware of Aaron’s heat, his scent. He licked his lips. Aaron grabbed a fistful of Sam’s hair then used his other hand to part his robe, revealing his straining erection.

“Suck me.”

Sam always wanted to suck Aaron. There wasn’t one thing they’d done sexually that Sam didn’t want to do with him enthusiastically. But he’d never been ordered to suck Aaron without any tenderness. Even when Aaron tied him up or hit him or denied him his climax,—there was always an underlying tone of love, desire. Despite the serene tone Aaron had used, the way he’d ordered him had come off as distant and cold.

“Now, Sam.”

He swallowed around a lump in his throat, trying to determine how everything had unraveled, so fast. Parting his lips, he offered his mouth for Aaron to take. Aaron thrust his large cock forward and Sam took in as much as he could. They were still working on his gag reflex, so without his hands to assist in pleasuring Aaron, he had to rely on his limited oral ability. He couldn’t disappoint Aaron.

Sam worked the flared head with his tongue, circling the tip and poking the end into Aaron’s slit the way he knew his lover liked. As he alternated between sucking and lapping at Aaron’s stiff flesh, Aaron pumped his hips in a regular rhythm, fucking Sam’s face. Once in a while, he would push far enough in that Sam would choke around Aaron’s dick, bringing water to his eyes.

Aaron’s pace increased, his hold on Sam’s head tightening as he rutted in Sam’s mouth. All Sam could do was take it. Saliva dripped out of the sides of his mouth and trailed down his jaw and his neck, eventually landing on his chest. The musky odor of Aaron’s arousal and the flavor of his cock excited Sam. He’d lost himself in the primal exchange between them, his own shaft leaking, throbbing.

Gripping Sam’s hair with both hands, Aaron froze then shot down Sam’s throat. Sam choked on some of the cum. There was too much. He sputtered and coughed, Aaron pulling out then dropping to his knees. He captured Sam’s mouth in an all-consuming kiss, licking his face, his lips, helping to clean his own spend off Sam.

Soon, Sam found himself in Aaron’s lap as the kisses continued and he was cradled in Aaron’s arms. Tears of relief fell down his cheeks. Aaron hadn’t struck him in anger. He hadn’t turned away from him, hadn’t turned cold. It must have been a test. Sam really wanted to know.

“I love you, Sir. I’m so sorry I acted bad.”

“There’s my little Sam, I knew you were still there.”

He peered up to see Aaron gazing down on him with loving eyes. Aaron petted Sam’s hair back from his face, the gesture one of comfort.

“Tell me what happened when you came home.”

Sam looked away in shame. He’d never given Aaron a chance. He’d immediately thought the worst. Aaron grasped his chin, encouraging him to lock eyes with him.

“You’re forgiven. That’s over with. Now talk to me.”

“I was surprised, that’s all. And he’s so pretty, and you were both on the floor, and you only had your robe on and he could see how beautiful you are. I…I thought…” His lip trembled and the tears threatened to spill again.

“Shh, don’t cry.” Aaron kissed his head. “There’s no one prettier to me than you are, Sam. You’re all I see.” Aaron moved him so that they faced one another more. “Our relationship is sacred and special. The trust that exists between us doesn’t only apply to you giving me your body or authority over your life. It’s also there when it comes to our love. There’s no need for jealousy between us.”

Sam frowned. He remembered the evil stare Aaron had given Martin that first time at the plant shop.

“But you seemed jealous of Martin that first day.”

Aaron chuckled. “That was me staking my claim, being protective. And before you ask, the difference is that I never believed for one instant that you would betray me. I trust you. I wasn’t sure I trusted
him
.”

“Oh. I see.”

“You did very well tonight. You accepted my orders, you submitted without question even when I demanded something different than you’re used to. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you, Sir. I wanted to please you.”