HIM (9 page)

              “Avalon,” the voice said.  “Avalon, wake up.  You’re okay.  I’m here.”

              My eyes flew open in a flash, gasping for air.  I clutched onto a soft shirt attempting to get my mind in the right place.  When I looked up it was Jensen.  He was in the taxi with me.  Tory and Lucy were behind him and out the door; their mouths open in shock and concern.

              I heard Tory whisper, “We tried waking her up but she wouldn’t budge.  I don’t think she heard us.”

              “How long was this going on for?” Jensen asked.

              “She was having a nightmare for only a few minutes.”

              “Homeboy’s got the magic touch,” Lucy added.

              In a low whisper Jensen replied to them both.  “It’s okay, girls.  I’ve got it from here.”  He then glanced up at the driver and handed him a one hundred dollar bill.  “Sir, would you mind driving around for a while?  I’d like to sit in here with her.”

              “You got it,” the driver said.  The vehicle began to move slowly, then picked up speed.  I heard the zooming of other cars passing by, the sound of laughing teenagers, the cry of a baby.  I heard life all around me.  And Jensen was still holding me close to his warm chest, his breathing even and hypnotizing.

              After about fifteen minutes of driving around Jensen finally spoke.  “Avalon, how are you doing?”

              I cleared my throat.  “Better, thanks.”

              “Tory and her friend were really worried about you.”

              “I know.”  I remembered their panic-stricken faces.  “Did Tory call you?”

              “No.  I was walking up to the beach house when I saw the cab.  When the girls tried waking you up but couldn’t I realized something wasn’t right.  So I intruded and…finally woke you up.”

              “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”  That was all I could say.  I was too embarrassed to verbalize anything else.

              “You don’t need to apologize for something that was out of your control.”

              I shrugged, leaning closer into him.  I heard rain pattering against the roof of the car and wind blowing the branches of trees.

              “What’s this?” Jensen asked, nudging my hand.  I’d forgotten I’d been holding the small box this whole time.  I opened up my palm so he could see.  “Mind if I open it?”

              “It’s a necklace.  You won’t like it.”  My heart began to race.  This wasn’t
only
a necklace.  It was a symbol of survival.  And Jensen didn’t know
what
I’d survived.

              “Did you buy it for yourself?”  I nodded.  “Then it must be beautiful.”  He carefully opened the lid.  In the glow of the streetlamps the necklace shimmered.  Jensen read the inscription aloud, “Him.”  He stayed silent for several minutes gripping the piece of jewelry between his flawless fingers.  “Mind if I put it on you?”

              “Oh…sure.”

              With a swift movement he moved my thick hair out of his way sending chills down my spine as his warm fingers lingered on the back of my neck.  The necklace came over my head, then settled just below my collarbone.

              “All done.  It suits you.”  Jensen’s eyes glimmered beneath the stars.

              I put my index finger on the pendent and felt the smooth edges, the engraved letters in a neat row.  At first it felt heavy on my chest.  But with a few deep breaths it felt light as a feather.  Jensen was staring at me, a calm glow to him.  I gripped the necklace in my hand and shut my eyes for a moment.  This necklace now meant more to me than simply a symbol of survival.  It was a juxtaposition between my triumph over
him
and my hope for a better future with Jensen.  I would never take this off.

“Up for something fun?” Jensen asked, taking me out of my train of thought.

              “I guess so.”

              “Sir, can you please head back now?”  The driver nodded his head and we went back to the beach house.  Once Jensen and I were out of the cab, he took me by the hand.  My hand felt so small compared to his.  His was warmer than mine, softer than mine.  He was so gentle.  I felt perfect like this with him.  “I don’t think you’ve done anything like this before,” Jensen told me.

              “Oh no,” I rolled my eyes, “what is it?”

“Follow me and you’ll find out.”

Of course my curiosity got the best of me and I followed him down a dirt path behind the beach house.  I’d never traveled beyond this point.

“Where are we going?” I asked, looking up at the starry night sky twinkling as we walked underneath.  The rain had stopped, leaving an earthy aroma behind.  It was a bit humid out.

“You’ll see,” he winked, grabbing my hand.  I rarely ever knew how to respond to a thing he said.  He spoke gracefully, confidently.  I was always so unsure of myself.  Maybe some of his good habits would rub off on me one of these days.

              Jensen had taken us down the road a bit, across from the swaying Michigan Lake.  The smell of seaweed filled my nostrils as we passed a small Japanese market I didn’t even know existed around here.  It brought back memories of China Town in New York City.

              “Are you willing to do something crazy and out of the ordinary?” he asked, eyes bright against the full moon.

“Um…what did you have in mind?” I answered with trepidation.

Without another word Jensen led us to a quaint pond surrounded by full bushes and a slew of already-lit candles, a large quilt beside a boulder across the water.  There was a giant weeping willow tree just above the pond with about five-dozen Mason Jars filled with tea lights hanging from the branches.

              “Jensen, this is so beautiful.”  I’d never seen such a magical looking place in my life.  It was beyond romantic.  “You did all this?”

              “That seems to be a very popular question with you,” he teased, referring to the date he’d prepared for us at Old Tily’s.  “While we were in the cab I texted Tory to see if she and her friend could light the candles once we were almost back to the beach house.  But before I’d gone to your house before you arrived from your trip this was where I was…setting things up.”

              “I’m in shock,” I laughed nervously.

He let go of my hand and began taking off his shoes and shirt.  His faded jeans fell to his feet, the candles flickering as Jensen made his way across the pond to put his clothes on the boulder.  I stood across from him, motionless.  His long, pale fingers played with the waistband of his boxer briefs, staring at me, satisfied, from across the water.

              Once he saw that I wasn’t moving he calmly walked over to me with contentment.  “What are you waiting for?”  His muscles were perfect.  His arms, so immense, yet appearing soft somehow made him seem menacing in a sexy way.  I imagined his arms around me . . . never letting go.

              “I don’t know,” I said.  I looked at the still water then up at Jensen’s beautiful face.  His lips were parted, staring at my mouth.  I wanted to kiss him.  He moved closer to me.  His large, soft hand gently removed the sweater from my right shoulder exposing skin he’d never seen before.

              “I have a question for you and I need you to answer honestly.”  I raised an eyebrow, unable to speak for the time being; I was in awe of how handsome he was.  “Do you feel safe with me?”  I nodded my head and bit my bottom lip.  “Then...don’t be scared to be with me like this.  I swear to you…making love will not be a part of this evening in any way.  I respect you too much.  I respect…what we have too much.”

              I was so nervous.  “I trust you.”

My coat was the first to go followed by my skirt and top I’d chosen to wear underneath.  I found myself standing before him in my undergarments – fully aware of how much I truly liked Jensen.  Foolishly I felt a bit ashamed of my body.  I pushed that feeling to the side.

              I didn’t care that I’d only known him for a few weeks.  I didn’t care that he affected me this way so fast.  I didn’t care that I felt more vulnerable than I had in a long time . . . in a good way.  Jensen Marx was something special, someone unexpected.  His presence always seemed to take me by surprise let alone the surprises he always had in store for me.  I was coming around to the idea of surprises being a good thing.  Hopefully I’d never under-appreciate the things he selflessly did for me.

              He took my hand and led me to the boulder across the pond where he placed my clothes beside his.  Silently he let go of my hand and gracefully made his way into the body of water.  Once comfortably placed in the center of the pond he turned to me and smiled joyously.

              “It’s surprisingly warm.”

              “That’s good.”

              “If you come inside I’ll hold you.”

              I blushed.  “Are there any fish in there?” I asked in an apprehensive tone.

              “You can go into the lake with tons of fish but not a pond?” he chuckled.

              “It’s different.  The lake’s much bigger.”

              “And scarier.  There’s only some coy fish in here.”

              “
Only
coy fish?”

              “This is
my
pond, Avalon.  It’s a small piece of land I chose to buy for myself.  Very remote and beautiful.  And it just so happens to be right by your house.”

              I laughed.  “Of course you bought this.”  Again, another surprise.

              “So are you coming in or not?  Don’t make me splash you,” he threatened lightly, a playful tone to his deep voice.

              I groaned lightly.  “Fine.”  I walked into the water.  It was warm as Jensen had said.  Although I knew they were in there it was too dark to see any fish so I paid attention to Jensen.  He was only a few feet away from me now.  Once I reached him he shook his head and laughed quietly.

              “What is it?” I laughed along with him, a bit insecure.  I didn’t know if he was laughing at me or something else.

              “You’re so beautiful.  I just don’t see how you don’t see it.”

              “Maybe I’ve been waiting for someone like you to help change my mind about that.”

              His face became serious, stern.  He closed his eyes and breathed through his mouth slowly.  When he opened his eyes his mouth pulled up into a half-smile.  He was beyond any picture-perfect man I’d ever daydreamed about or created in my head, he was more perfect than any love interest in a romance novel and he certainly put the boys in Hollywood to shame.  No one could compare to him.  Not in a trillion years.

              “Avalon,” he breathed, inching closer to me.  His chest was pressed against mine, his fingers taking a few dark strands of hair out of my face to tuck behind my ear.  “You make me feel…alive again.  Please don’t disappear on me.”

              “I could never do that to you.  As strange as this may be for me to say you make me feel alive again, too.”

              The pad of his thumb traced my lower lip gently, carefully – as if not to break me somehow.  My lips, face and whole body tingled.

He cautiously whispered, “I want to kiss you.”

              Jensen, with his eyes shut, bent down to kiss my lips.  But before he could I swiftly moved away and turned around.

             
I’m not ready for this yet.  It’s too soon.

             
“Avalon?” Jensen whispered.

              “I'm sorry.  I can’t do this right now.”

              He was wordless for a moment.  “It’s okay.”  The water lightly swayed and Jensen came around to look at me.  “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.  Ever.”

              I sighed.  “I’ve never kissed anyone before,” I admitted.

              “Ever?  Not even your ex-boyfriend?”

              I shuddered.  “No.  Not even him. 
We made a pact not to before marriage.  That’s where I was holding religiously…at the time
.”

              “So this is all new to you, huh.”  Jensen’s eyes understood.

              “Very new,” I giggled self-consciously.

              “This is new to me, too,” he sheepishly admitted with a grin.  “But don’t tell anybody.  My boss thinks I’m a lady’s man.”

              “It’s hard to believe you aren’t.”

              “Believe it.”  He ran his fingers through his hair.  “Most people wouldn’t understand my methodologies in life.”

              “Meaning…?”

              “I’m what this generation would call
old fashioned
.  I like to court a girl before doing anything…rash.”

              “What we’re doing doesn’t seem too old fashioned to me.”

              He chuckled.  “I’ve modified some things.  But do you truthfully believe that a guy from this day in age would take you out to a moonlit pond, remove his clothes, have you remove
your
clothes just so he
wouldn’t
have sex with you?”