HIM (8 page)

I yelped playfully and hiked up my dress.  “You can’t catch me!”  I ran in and out of the water running away from Jensen as he attempted to capture me.

“Wow, Avalon,” he grinned, “you’re one fast girl.”

“I was on my high school’s track team all four years.”

“Running’s always good.”  He walked over to me as we entered the water again.  “Do you still do that?”

“No,” I told him honestly.

“I mean you’re in good shape,” he smiled.  “It’s not like you need to work out or anything.”

I chuckled.  “I guess I got a little lazy.”

Okay, so that was about half of the truth.  I didn’t want to bring my rape situation into the conversation, which had to do a lot with why I stopped running recreationally recently.  I didn’t do much for recreational purposes anymore.

“Well maybe over the next week we could run together at some point?” he suggested.

“Only if you can keep up.”  I began to run again, feeling the familiar ache in my muscles.

Jensen caught up to me and pulled me in by the waist to look me in the eyes.  “Where have you managed to hide all my life?”

“My bedroom.”

He shook his head with a playful grin and tickled me until I collapsed on the floor, gleefully grateful for one of the best evenings of my life.

The birds chirped and the sun shone bright through the clouds as Jensen and I ran along Lake Michigan Beach.

“I want to know more about you,” he told me, playfully bumping into me.

“We’re supposed to be running,” I reminded him, “not talking
or
playing bumper cars.”  At this point I now felt more at ease around Jensen; like I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.

“Oh come on, Ava,” he laughed, “don’t take the fun out our time together.  At least not out of my bumping.”

“Well it’s not fun for me,” I told him, laughing.  I tried very hard to concentrate on the running I was doing but Jensen was just too gawk-worthy to look away from.  I spent quite a bit of time staring at him.  I hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“So if I bumped you again you’d hate me?”

“No, I wouldn’t
hate
you. I’d just be annoyed for a second.”

“Okay, I can handle a second.”  Once more he bumped into me.  But this time I fell onto the sand, my arm hitting a sharp rock buried beneath.  “Oh my gosh, Avalon, I am so sorry!”

Blood trickled down my arm and onto the side of my light sweatshirt.  “It’s okay.”  I got up, brushing the sand off of me.

“Here, let me help you.”  He pulled out a bandana from his shirt pocket and wrapped it around my arm to keep the blood from flowing.

“You carry a bandana with you?” I chuckled.

“You never know when a bandana can come in handy.  Fixing a car and don’t want to get your hands dirty, wiping the sweat off of your forehead or even aiding someone’s injuries.”  His eyes dulled as he said the last several words.

“Ah.  Well thank you.”

“Ava, I’m so –”

“Save it,” I cut him off.  “Let’s just finish our run, then bring me home…without bumping.”  I winked at him and he smiled in return.  When our run was over we departed in front of the beach house.  I didn’t like it but Jensen had to work for a while so there wasn’t much of a choice in the matter.

“Ouch, Avalon,” Tory said when I came into the house, “what happened to
you
?”

              The blood had seeped through Jensen’s bandana.  But it was dry.

              “Jensen and I were running and I fell on a rock,” I told her.

              “Did you trip?”

              “He bumped into me.”

              “On purpose?”

              “He was only fooling around.  It’s not even like he did it hard or anything,” I chuckled.  The way I’d explained the situation made it seem as though I was with an abuser.  I truthfully wasn’t.  Jensen was actually very gentle.

              “I’m sure,” she muttered, flipping through a magazine.  “How was the run besides the fall?”

              “Enjoyable,” I grinned, heading to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of iced cold water.

              “I bet,” Tory beamed.  “Did he kiss you?”

              “No,” I nearly choked on my drink.  And even if we had Tory didn’t need to know about that.

              “Well I think it’s so adorable how you two are running together now.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen you run.”

              “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen me do
anything
.”  I sat down on the couch in the living room, taking off my sneakers.  I was sweating an uncomfortable amount.  A long, hot shower was what I was craving now.

              “When are you seeing each other again?”

              “Tonight.”

              “Wow, you’ve been seeing him a lot lately,” she smirked.  We’d seen each other every day during the past week – watching movies, going out to eat, grabbing a cup of coffee, going to bookstores to hang out – he’d read so many books – and now running.  “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

              “I have no clue,” I sighed, shutting my eyes for a moment.  I’d been so tired lately; all I kept thinking about was Jensen . . . and I was losing sleep over it.  Not that I minded too much.  Focusing on Jensen took my focus away from having nightmares about the man whose name I never spoke.

              “I knew you’d make a cute couple.”  I was beaming, silently.  The doorbell rang quickly two times in a row.  “I’ll get it!” Tory sang as she made her way over to the foyer opening the door.  “Hey!  Come on in.”

I heard two sets of heels clacking against the marble tile.  “Hey, Avalon,” greeted Lucy in her thick New Jersey dialect.  Lucy was a curvy girl with a dark complexion and large light brown eyes.  They complimented her curly auburn hair, which was in a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. Out of the three girls in the Drunken Trio she was the only one I didn’t mind being around.

“Hi,” I responded.  “What’s up?”

“Tory invited me to go shopping with her.  Want to join us?”  Lucy had made this offer to me time and time again.  Not once had I ever agreed to go.  By now it was out of habit she asked.  Tory was the same way.

I thought about it for a moment.  I would surprise them . . . and myself.  “Sure, I’d like that.”  Both Tory and Lucy had an expression that read
what the hell is going on?
  Especially Tory who was now beaming from ear to ear.  “Mind if I shower real quick?  I won’t need more than fifteen minutes to get ready.”

“Damn,” Lucy laughed.  “The last time it took
me
fifteen minutes to get ready I was a baby.  And my mama dressed me.”  Lucy was exactly like Tory – took nearly an hour every morning to put her face on followed by an extra hour and a half to throw on a dress.

Tory chuckled.  I forced a little laugh.  “We’ll be waiting in the cab, Ava,” Tory said.  “Make sure to bring an umbrella.  I heard it might drizzle.”  She and Lucy made their exit, leaving me alone in the house.  I quickly took a steamy shower, wishing it could have lasted a little longer.  I slipped on a high-waisted skirt, loose top and flats to match.  Since the weather was acting bizarre lately I slipped on my short trench coat, which complimented the outfit perfectly.  I put my wet hair in a high bun on the top of my head, added some mascara to my eyelashes, grabbed my umbrella and hopped into the cab next to Tory and Lucy whom were having what seemed to be a heated discussion about this season’s color pallet – pastel everything.  Tory was against it, who wanted her
bright pops of color
.  But Lucy was in support of this
fabulous trend
because it set the mood for a
toned down summer
.

“
Girl,
I absolutely
adored
what Ivy was wearing to the party the other night.  So in style.”  Lucy loved fashion just as much as Tory.  It wasn’t that I didn’t.  I just didn’t allow it to consume my every thought.

“Yeah, I really liked the top she chose to wear with those green pants.  Who would have thought those would have mixed?” Tory added as they checked out some celebrity fashion blogs on their phones.  She then turned to me, a smile on her lips and in her eyes.  “You look so cute, Ava.  Good choice with the trench coat.”  She turned to Lucy, “Why didn’t we think of that?”

Lucy shrugged.  “Avalon’s ahead of the game.”

I laughed.  “So where are we going exactly?”

“We’re thinking vintage.”  Tory’s face lit up.  “We’ve spotted some totally awesome consignment shops in Detroit.”

“Detroit?  As in Detroit,
Michigan
?  But that’s almost four and a half hours away.”  Did they usually travel this far to shop around?

“It’s not like any of us have anything better to do,” Lucy chimed in, clacking her acrylic nails on the face of her diamond watch.

I noticed the time.  It was 8AM.  It looked like we wouldn’t be getting back until after dark.

“Oh wait,” Tory said, “when are you supposed to be hanging out with Jensen tonight?”

“Jensen?  You mean that really, really,
really
hot guy always hanging around here?” Lucy asked, eyes wide.  “The one with the sexy blue eyes?”

I didn’t like the way she said that.  She cheapened Jensen’s inner and outer beauty.  He wasn’t
only
hot and sexy.  He was handsome and sweet and romantic and insanely smart.  He was simply a great delight to be around.  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Good going, girl!”  Lucy high-fived me.

“It’ll be fine,” I told Tory.  “I’ll text Jensen we’ll need to hang out a little later in the evening.  It’s no problem at all.”  I quickly informed Jensen of the change in plans of my schedule.  In short he told me he couldn’t wait to see me that night – late or early – and to have a nice time.  Then we were off to Detroit.

*      *      *

              “One chai latte no whip coming right up,” said the barista as she put Lucy’s order in.

              We seated ourselves in a quaint coffee shop down the road from the several shopping venues we sampled throughout the never-ending day.  My feet ached.  Shopping was exhausting.  I sipped my hazelnut coffee, listening to the idle talk between Tory and Lucy.  I’d drowned them both out for most of the day including during the cab ride over.  All they discussed were celebrity issues and the latest fashion trends.  And when we began shopping around the talk about clothes was even more irritating.

“That is
so
freaking adorable!” Tory squealed on our way over to another store earlier in the day.  She was talking about a 1950’s inspired dress covered in faux jewels.

“I need to try that on!” squealed Lucy just as enthused.

Reluctantly I followed them inside.  Both of them tried on the dress.  It didn’t fit Tory’s body type – she was too petite.  Lucy on the other hand was curvy in all the right places.

“That looks nice on you,” I told her.  “Maybe you should buy it.”  I hadn’t gone shopping for anything in the longest time.  I felt a little uncomfortable.  But this was a normal thing normal people did.  And I was one step closer to reinventing myself, to kick-starting the next chapter of my life.  This shopping trip, no matter how aggravating, was a good thing for me.

“On one hand,” Lucy said, “I’m really digging this dress.  But on the other it gives me a major case of back fat.”  She turned to the side, examining herself in a long mirror in disgust.  “One part of me is like
who freaking cares
?  But the other part is like…
me
.”  With that, she removed the dress, leaving it behind to collect dust for another day and we left the store.

After listening to the same chitchat all day long I began thinking about Jensen.  Fantasizing about him, actually.  Some situations were more graphic than others.  Those made me blush so I had to end those fantasies.

              I heard someone calling my name.  “
Avalon, hello
.”  Tory was waving her hands in front of my face to catch my attention.  “We’re ready to go.”

              “We are?”  I hoped I didn’t sound too eager.  They both nodded.

              The girls struggled to gather their many bags of vintage finds.  I, on the other hand, held a single small box.  Inside was a dainty white gold necklace engraved with the word
HIM
.  The moment I laid eyes on it I knew it was a sign…for
him
…for my survival of the brutal attack on my soul.  For so long now I’d been trying to get over what happened.  And although I wasn’t sure if that would ever be possible, I felt in my heart that because I was still here on this Earth I had accomplished something major.

Some people got tattoos of a remembrance of a tragedy.  I got this necklace.  I just hadn’t a clue if I’d actually wear it.

              We stepped into the cab and took off.  I chose to sleep the whole way back to Empire, a light drizzle following us along the way.  An eventful night with Jensen was waiting for me once I got there.  Unfortunately my dreams weren’t the most pleasant.  Yet again I dreamt of
him
.  I didn’t know if the necklace had triggered something dark within me or if my body was somehow trying to balance out the happiness I felt with Jensen and the misery I felt by being
his
victim.  Whatever the reason I was afraid.  With the snap of a finger I was back in that evil place; the one that dictated what my thoughts were, how I thought them, what I felt when I thought them.  Every part of me ached from pain.

              It was dark.  “Avalon,” he taunted, voice emerging from the shadows.  “Forgetting about me won’t last long.  I am inside your soul.”  He approached me, body stiff as a board.  His piercing green eyes bore a hole into my own.  His index finger stabbed at my chest repeatedly as he chanted, “I am a part of you.  I will always be a part of you.”  He’d said it so many times the words became a jumbled mess and I suddenly couldn’t piece them together.

              “Stop!” I yelled as loud as I could.  “Stop it!”

              He snickered louder and louder and louder.  I covered my ears but the noise forced itself in.  My body couldn’t take the sensation and each bone began cracking.  I felt each and every inch of me break in two.  I whaled in pain wishing someone –
anyone
– would rescue me from my agony.  That’s when I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around me.  And a beautifully familiar voice saying my name.