Holding On (Hooking Up) (15 page)

We closed on the house two weeks before Christmas and even though I was dying to get settled in soon, we decided to wait for the weekend in order to collect as many helping hands as possible.

My belly had grown at a rate that impressed me and amazed everyone else, and now I waddled when I walked. I was seven months pregnant, and feeling very much like a Beluga. There was a nice-sized bump under my maternity top that sort of scared me. I had no idea my skin could stretch that much, and I worried it wouldn’t ever go back to the way it was before ever again. It was a good thing Ryan wasn’t only with me for my body!

The nausea and extreme fatigue had passed months before and really, I felt very spry, if a bit fluffy. But it was so exciting! We still had no idea what sort of baby we’d be having, because the little bugger decided to hide his or her anatomy from us during our ultrasound, and though the suspense was killing me, I’d still managed to shop until I’d nearly dropped for unisex baby stuff. I smiled as I thought of the mint green and buttercup yellow nursery set I’d purchased. In my mind, the nursery was done up like a little showplace and we were already there, rocking our bundle to sleep in the matching brand-new glider rocker Isamu bought us.

A tug on my arm interrupted my musings. “Catie, go upstairs one last time and check and see if there’s anything we’ve forgotten, alright? I’ll be right behind you.” Ryan smiled at me and I gave him a quick kiss before going to check things out.

I duck-walked up our three flights of stairs and looked around our now-empty apartment. Gone were the bachelor furnishings and the enormous TV. Gone were the geometric-patterned curtains on all the windows. Gone was the familiar, friendly, if upscale, feeling that used to permeate our place. It seemed generic now, a sterile, impersonal apartment that desperately awaited its new tenant’s touch. It made me a bit sad.

I wandered the rooms, remembering the countless memories we’d made here.

The first time I’d come here when Ryan and I were just dating.

Moving my things here to take that tentative next step with Ryan.

The time I almost lost him because of Michael and Gran.

The day we got married, when he carried me over the threshold and kissed me before we made it all the way through the doorway.

Giving Benjie his Sugar Rings every morning and enjoying the simple pleasure of watching him grow.

Bringing Mom home and dining with her for the first time.

Making love to Ryan and conceiving our baby.

Feeling it move for the first time.

How could I leave this place? 

Beautiful memories continued to flood my mind and I had to fight tears as I sank down onto the living room floor that was now stripped of the bright contemporary geometric rugs. The pregnancy hormones didn’t help, I was sure. But suddenly, I was more attached to this place than I had ever been before, and I felt as though I’d have to be dragged out.

The door opened and Ryan chuckled a bit before sinking down at my side.

“Oh, boy. Having a moment?” He put his arm around my shoulder and held me close.

“I can’t leave this place. Too much happened here,” I said as I fought for composure.

“Honey, it’s not the place that made the memories. It’s the people, and we’re taking them all with us. It’s going to be ok.”

“Won’t you miss it?”

“Sure I will. We had a great life here. But things can’t always stay the same. We have to change, to grow. Of course, you seem to have taken the growing thing literally,” he said, and I elbowed him in the ribs and huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m only twice the size I used to be. I think I’m doing pretty well. I could still karate chop you.”

“No foreplay. We have too much to do today.” He grinned at me and I gave him a watery smile of my own.

“Just wait ‘til we get to the new house. We have a lot of room-christening to do.”

“Promise?” he asked, dropping a kiss on my cheek.

“Pervert,” I said, turning my face to kiss him properly.

We sighed together and enjoyed this little bit of privacy, forgetting there was a convoy awaiting us downstairs. Our mouths moved together and before we could stop ourselves, we were panting with barely-controlled passion.

The mood was interrupted by a haughty throat-clearing sound from the front door. “Well, is that a way to greet company? Anyone could have walked in on you two, you know.”

I jumped at the judgmental sound of my grandmother’s voice. Of all the people in the world I expected to see, she was last on the list.

“Gran? What are you doing here?”

“I should ask what you’re doing here on the ground, but with you, anything’s possible. I came to see where you’ve been hiding. I need to discuss something with you. I tried to call, but the phone was disconnected. I thought you forgot to pay your bill.”

“No, Gran. We disconnected it because we’re moving. Today’s the day.” Typical Gran, thinking I’d been lying around doing nothing productive. But why would she call me? To lecture me again? Probably, I acknowledged. But hadn’t she gotten the hint the last time we talked?

“I see. Well, this can’t wait. I got some mail I thought you’d be interested in reading.”

“I can’t right now. I’m busy. Maybe I’ll swing by once we’re settled.”

“This really is important, Caitlin.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. A piece of mail, about me? Or something else?  Knowing Gran, it had to be something to do with Michael. Apparently, she still hadn’t given up trying to get us back together. Pathetic, really, considering I’d been married almost a year at this point. You’d think she would have gotten the hint by now.

“Gran, I really can’t. Do you want to swing by for dinner later? I think we’re having pizza at the new house.”

“No, thank you. I simply don’t have the time.” She spun on her heel and started toward the door.

I couldn’t just let her stomp off like that without giving her a chance to change her mind. I’d missed her, despite her supercilious air, and it was nice to see her again, even if she appeared to be up to her old tricks again. “Wait! Gran?”

She turned again and looked at me with exasperation in her eyes. “What is it?”

“You’re welcome to come to our new house, you know. We’re on Larchmont. Our phone number will be the same. We’re getting it reconnected on Monday.”

She nodded stiffly and showed herself out. Mystified by her sudden appearance, I followed her down the stairs, muttering, “Weird, so very weird,” under my breath.

Gran had just about made it to her ubiquitous Lincoln by the time I reached the parking lot. Mom watched her walk to her car and she shot me a strange look. Instantly, I knew what she was up to. I shook my head frantically, but she either didn’t see it or didn’t care. I waddled as fast as I could toward the car. I had to stop them before someone said something I’d regret.

“Excuse me? Ms. Danforth? You are Amelia Danforth, aren’t you? Shelly’s mother?” she asked, just as Gran reached out to unlock her car door.

Gran’s head snapped up and she squared her shoulders. “What do you want?”

“I’m Maria DiCarlo, Caitlin’s mother. It’s nice to finally meet you,” Mom said pleasantly.

“I wish I could say the same,” Gran muttered testily.

I was shocked by her uncharacteristic outburst. She was always rude to me, but I had no idea she’d be so nasty to anyone else. It simply wasn’t in her very blue blood. Gran was the poster child for manners and social graces and seeing her so snarly was bizarre.

I moved between the women, who were now silently sizing each other up.  “Uh, Gran, shouldn’t you be going? Come on, Mom, let’s get moving. We have to get to the house to let everyone in.”

Mom patted my shoulder and smiled at Gran. “Catie, it’s fine. I really want to meet your grandmother. I’ve heard a lot about her, you know.”

“And I know all about you. Don’t think I don’t. Why don’t you tell her why you’re
really
here?” Gran said, rage infusing venom into every syllable.

“I don’t think this is the time to have a family discussion. Maybe later,” Mom said, putting her arm around me and eyeing Gran evenly. “Drive safely.”

She stepped back as Gran opened her car door. My normally unflappable grandmother dove into the car and locked the doors instantly. She reversed out of her parking space with a jerk and bounce and peeled out of the parking lot, something so unlike Gran I was momentarily stunned. As she sped off, I realized I was trembling with raw nerves. Then a hysterical chuckle burst forward from my lips. “Wow. That went well.”

“Honey, I’m sorry. I wanted to meet her. You’ve told me so much about her and I wanted to see if she was really that rigid. I thought you might have been exaggerating a little. I see now you weren’t. She’s a poor soul, isn’t she? So sad and lonely. It’s too bad she won’t allow herself to see how wonderful you are. She’d be a great deal less lonely.”

“It will never happen,” I replied dully. I knew better.

“I think it will, but obviously not today, so don’t worry about it. Things always have a way of working themselves out. Today, let’s just focus on starting your new life in your brand-new house. Come on. Your future awaits.”

I sighed and nodded, willing myself to calm down. She was right. My new life was waiting for me. It was time to go home.

Home.

It had a nice ring to it.

              Chapter 18

“Benjie, where are you?” I hollered, wandering around our new house, sidestepping boxes and the occasional piece of furniture that had yet to find a permanent home. It was the beginning of Christmas Break, so Benjie was out of school from now until after New Year’s. Ryan was at work, and I’d been taken off work the Monday after we moved in due to a spike in my blood pressure. The doctor said I was borderline preeclamptic and recommended rest. However, the woman had either never had children or had never met Benjie. Rest? Yeah, right.

“Here I am, Catie! Come find me!” his little voice echoed throughout the lower level. I grinned as I followed the sound of his voice to the kitchen. Sure enough, he was in the pantry and a huge grin exploded from his face when I opened the door.

“Come on, pal. Time to take a quick nap. I’ve got to lie down a bit.” I felt huge and sluggish and my ankles were swollen, something that had just started in the past few days. The doctor said it was due to the start of the preeclampsia. Mom said she had the same thing when she was pregnant with me, so I guess I had her to thank for it. Still, it was nice to be able to compare genes. It made me feel a bit less worried about things. She constantly reassured me that all would be fine.

I got Benjie settled and went in to lie down. I’d just started drifting off when the phone rang. I debated letting it ring, but Benjie fought naptime as it was, and if the phone woke him up, he’d be up for good and I’d never get any rest.

“Hello,” I murmured drowsily.

“Catie, I—I—need help—”

“Mom? What’s wrong?” I sat up like I’d been shot, straining to hear what she was saying.

“Call 911.” The line went dead and I scrambled out of bed, cursing my bulk for the first time ever. I raced to Benjie’s room and grabbed him out of his bed and took the stairs as fast as I dared with my son and unborn child in tow. My cell phone was on the kitchen counter and I grabbed it on the fly, dialing 911 and spitting out Mom’s address as fast as I could. As soon as I hung up, I dialed Ryan’s number, but it was busy.

Swearing, I clicked off the phone and strapped Benjie into his car seat. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go to Mom’s apartment or to the hospital? Where was Ryan? Should I call Isamu?

The phone rang and I was relieved to hear Ryan’s voice on the other end of the phone line. “Honey, I heard about Maria over the scanner. Chad and Phil are on their way to her place now. Go to the hospital. I’ll meet you there once I get someone to cover for me.”

I hung up and drove. Part of me wanted to floor it and blow past traffic signs and red lights like they weren’t even there, but I had my kids to think of. I struggled to control my panic and drove precisely, careful not to speed.

We reached the hospital after what seemed like an eternity and I was surprised to see Isamu waiting at the door to Emergency.

“Isamu, what are you doing here?”

“Ryan called me. I will watch over Benjamin. Go to your mother.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I left my protesting, overtired stepson with my sensei and galloped into Emergency, eyes darting back and forth until I found a free nurse. She looked at me and frowned at my protruding stomach. “Miss, you’ll have to check in with our triage department if you need to be seen.”

“No, I don’t need to be seen. You have my mother here? Maria DiCarlo?”

“Yes, she’s just been brought in by ambulance. I’ll let the doctor know you’re here, but I’m afraid you’ll have to take a seat until he’s able to talk to you.”

She grabbed me by the arm and herded me out into the waiting area. Isamu and Benjie were already seated, and despite the bewildered look on Benjie’s face, he was trying his best to entertain himself. An elderly couple seated across the room kept frowning at him as he kicked the table in front of the bank of chairs. Isamu gently grabbed his leg and shook his head at Benjie, but my exuberant boy was undeterred. I could nearly see his thoughts as he eyeballed the magazines sitting in a neat pile on a low table. Unfortunately, Isamu hadn’t quite figured Benjie out entirely, and the magazines were soon coating every surface, including the lap of the old frowning man.

I removed the magazine from his lap with a murmur of apology and sat down next to Benjie, engaging him in a quiet game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to keep him occupied. I glanced at my watch repeatedly. It seemed to be taking forever for them to evaluate her or whatever they were doing in there. Had they forgotten about me out here? Or was there something really wrong? She’d been doing so well lately. She’d looked mostly normal, and despite the few times she’d looked tired, wan and wiped out, everything had seemed fine. She hadn’t been sick at all, or at least not like she was a few months ago. I was absolutely perplexed.