Holt's Holding (12 page)

“Perhaps you need it, based on what I’m sensing, singing
and performing, always calms you Lil.
 
Timing
is perfect in my opinion.”

The day seemed to be flittering away quick. I had met
Brady, and then set off for a lunch date with Chris.
 
We needed to set some boundaries in my
opinion.
 
I
couldn’t
allow him to get any hopes up.

I took the afternoon to pamper myself
;
Mani, Pedi and of course a waxing. My body now smooth and perfectly groomed, I
was without a doubt sated today. Parking the car in the garage and walking to
the elevator, knowing I only had an hour left to shower to ready myself. I had
promised Sam, that I would meet her for dinner, and a few drinks, before we
headed to Mosaic. This in my opinion had been a perfect day.
 
My mind was still debating the entire idea of
performing tonight.
 
Shit, I needed that
release, the loss in music.
 
Fuck.

Finally, in the apartment it looked quiet. I supposed
Charlie had gone out, since it
didn’t
appear that he
was here.

Placing my bag on the counter, I pulled my phone from it
and headed to my room.

Into my bathroom, I started the shower and placed the cell
down. I stripped off my clothes and left them on the floor of my room.

Knowing the apartment was empty; I fired up the Bose with
my iPod already on the stand and turned it on loud enough so I could hear it in
the shower.

Back into the bathroom, I eagerly jumped into the shower,
which was surprisingly already hot. Thank god for little miracles.

Heaven…the heat of the water cascading down my body was a
little piece of ecstasy.
 
Yes, what a
wonderfully perfect day it had been. I was now very ready to have a follow up
this evening. I loved the friends I had, and loved being young with no
attachments.

Titanium…blasted thru the speakers…what a perfect song.
Lost in my private heaven, I sang and danced in the shower, while I lathered
rinsed, then repeated with my hair.

Indeed, I was having more fun in the shower than I should.
But
, who gives a shit.
 
I could have stayed here all night, but the water was gradually losing
its heat, and I was starting to prune.

Stepping from my little oasis, I reached for the towel and
dried my body off. Pulling for the robe, I wrapped myself and began to dry off
all my thick hair.

The music, in tune to my mood.
 
I reached for my phone and sent a quick text
to Corey, with a simple yes.

I began my normal ritual of lotions then makeup. It was
Friday night, so the smoky and sultry application around my eyes, was necessary
in my opinion.

Looking to the mirror at myself, I paused…the song was my
pause. “The Scientist” now streamed thru the Bose…

The song always took me somewhere unfamiliar…a place where
my emotions were raw and reeling.
It was a place
,
I tried to keep hidden
.

I stared into the mirror, pausing, fighting the urges of
where my mind and heart were being
lured to.
I
couldn’t
afford that hidden place within me.
Though
, I appeared to be staring at my reflection my eyes
only saw flames and blacken smoke all around me. My breathing became shallow as
if I
couldn’t
get my lungs to take the air, they so
desperately needed.

My head spinning, as my limbs felt heavy and weak, unable
to hold myself up. A full-blown panic attack, my vision became tunneled and the
room was spinning around me, the heat enveloping every surface of my skin.

Shit …I
couldn’t
shake it off…I
couldn’t convince my mind that this was nothing more than a panic attack.
 
I could feel the weight of my body losing. I
was about to blackout and the tile floor was going to hurt, when my body races
to greet it.

Without a second more, everything went black.

“Lillian!” the voice sounded watered.

“Lillian.” the voice now
clearing.

“Lillian dear?
Are
you ok?” the voice, familiar, warm and inviting.
 
I was coming to.

The scent of his cologne, wrapped my like a familiar
blanket. In his arms, I could feel his chest against my cheek and his hand in
my hair. His touch was tender.

I opened my eyes to confirm, what I already knew…his green
eyes staring down at me.

Shit, this was embarrassing.
 
I steadied myself and sat up.
 
Inspecting and mentally searching, I was not
sore anywhere; which meant I
didn’t
hit the floor. I
breathed a sigh of relief.

“Lillian…
are
you ok?” his voice
was concerned.

Shaking my head, I looked to him and cocked my head. How
?…
Where did he come from? It was clear that had it not been
for him, I would have hit the floor, and hard.

“I’m fine…How? Were you here this entire time?” Looking to
him confused, he must have been in the apartment.

“Yes, I was in the shower and heard your music. I had come
in just as you were about to fall and caught you. You didn’t hear me call your
name?”

“No…” I must have been too far into the panic attack to
notice him here.

“What happened?”
 
He
looked to me very concerned

“Nothing…I’m fine” I moved myself out of his hold on the
floor, and lifted myself to my feet. My head was still light and dizzy; I
gripped the counter for support.
 
He was
quick to follow me up, and his hands swiftly around my waist, steadying me.

“Perhaps you should cancel your plans this evening and stay
in.”

I looked up to him…was he nuts?
 
It was Friday and my occasional fainting
spells, were not keeping me in.
 
Plus
I had made a commitment to Corey.
 
I
wasn’t
about
breaking any commitment.

“Honestly, I’m fine…this isn’t a big deal at all.” I
offered coolly.

“You pretty much would have busted your ass on the tile
floor, if not worse, had I not caught you.” He looked to me for an answer, one,
which I would not give.

Returning my gaze to my reflection, I shook my head and
closed my eyes searching for my center…my balance. What he was thinking?
 
I had no clue. His hands quick and strong had
me up off my feet, and cradled in his arms.

“What are you doing?” He said nothing, walked me in his
arms, and dropped me to my bed.

“You need to lay down…rest a bit,” He ordered.

Was he out of his fucking mind?

I frowned looking at him my expression said it all.
He walked around to the end of the bed as
,
I tried to sit up
. Looking at him, he was only wearing a
pair of drawstring pants that hung low and his chest was perfectly sculpted,
ribbons of muscle, hard and tempting. My eyes landed down low, just at the
little trail leading to his wonderful size.

His hands grabbed my ankles and jerked my body, forcing my
back to hit the bed.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I breathed, stunned to
his aggression.

“If you won’t rest, I’ll give you a reason too!”
His expression, full of promise, the threat palpable.
Charlie’s knee came up on the bed then his hands.
 
Moving over my body, he had me trapped.
 
The mere size of him made me feel small and
vulnerable.
 
He shifted slightly, as his
eyes moved down me, stopping at the belt tying my robe.

His head lingering, his eyes hungry found mine; it was
almost as if he was looking for a sign or clue giving him permission…no, strike
that, he wasn’t asking for permission, he was taking and exerting his control.

He broke his stare and lowered down to my center. In his
usual speed he had my rob undone and falling to the bed.

I
was perfectly exposed
, as he
offered a wicked grin. With urgency, his lips fell to my abdomen and began
their tender and erotic exploration, sparking my desire.

His lips and tongue were a perfect mix lowering down then
slightly pausing. He
was perfectly centered
between my
legs as his tongue went down and teased my now heated desire.
 
His mouth was working its genius on my heated
desire, taking me into a full blaze.
His tongue licking,
circling then finally penetrating me.

“Oh, Lord”…I yelled, as my back arched up off the bed. My
hands above my head gripping the headboard my body quickly tensed all around
with my climax fully reached.
 
Shit, he
was very gifted.
 
Second time today he
had me completely abandon all sense of reason.

My breathing labored, I felt him move from my center.

I closed my eyes in ecstasy.
 
The bed shifted from his weight.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at him. He was again grinning.
Dropping my sight lower, he was pulling the drawstring of his pants, dropping
them to the floor, as the full length of his arousal sprung free.
 
His naked body was pure perfection.
 
Golden skin, sculpted
muscle, and that erection!
 
He was
fucking beautiful, and sex oozed off him.
 
My body in response ached with urgency. The need to feel him deep inside
me had my breathing labored in need.

The bed sitting at a perfect height, he pulled me down
spreading my legs, as he positioned himself. Holding with one arm, he leaned
down into me.

His eyes dark and hungry had me trapped.

Biting my lip, I knew what came next.

His free hand held his cock, rubbing teasingly at my now
sore and sensitive core.
 
I
was more than overcome
with the desire to have him in me
once more.

While staring into my eyes he slammed his full girth and
length into me with one motion.

His full entrance sent shock waves through my body.

I had to gasp for a breath with his assault. In my shock,
his lips landed on mine.

Shit no…I was game for a lot of things, but not his lips on
mine. I pulled my head away from his forcing him to my neck.
 
My body fully tensed and a panic seemed to
follow.

Feeling my tension, his hand fell to my face and his
movements paused. Forcing me to face him, his eyes were wide and confused.

“No!” the word was quick and easy my eyes wide beseeching
his confusion.

“I’m sorry?” he paused looking quizzically down at me. “I
thought you were …I thought we were on the same page…would you like me to
stop?”

“We are or were…” I paused. “No, I don’t want you to stop…I
just I don’t do the kissing thing.”

“Ok?”
 
He looked
confused, but pulled slightly out to push back in.

His thrusts returned, slowly,
then
increased once more. Lifting his body off mine, his hands landed at my hips
forcing me to take more. My back arching with his will and hips circling into
him with each thrust. The more I circle, the more he tensed.

Gripping at my sheets, I was about to come and quick…the
thrust full and to the hilt of
him
we found our
release together. His hot and sweaty body fell to mine, as he remained position
within me.

I wrapped my heavy legs around his waist holding him to me
as his head lay on my chest.

“Lillian?”

“Yes Charlie?”

“I’m sorry about the kiss, I didn’t know…last night” he
paused.

Last night…his words had me reeling through my
memories…what was he referring to?

“Charlie…not that I want to explain, but I just don’t.
Kissing is intimate, and what we are doing is nothing more than fucking.”

“You allowed me to kiss you last night?”
 
His eyes on mine looked worried and confused.

“What are you talking about Charlie?” My body tensed the
dream…oh shit!
it
wasn’t a dream…it was his orgasm
seeping from me this morning…

Oh shit
!!

He lifted slightly up and raised an eyebrow. “You don’t
remember last night do you?” he shook his head. “Shit Lillian. Here I just
fucked you this morning in the kitchen thinking it was ok, based on last
night…I thought it was just another go round. Shit, you really don’t remember?”
he shook his head in frustration.

I looked to his shocked confession, shaking my head from
side to side.
 
Grinning, “I was very
drunk last night Charlie. I honestly came home forgetting you were even here.”
I paused and tried to offer some assurance that it
wasn’t
all that bad. “I thought I had a really …really good dream. I was horny last
night, but I knew I was too drunk for anything, so I made sure I came home and
alone.”
 
I found myself amused.