Holt's Holding (17 page)

Before I could blink, he had me on my back. Looking up at
him, I knew what he wanted but his slight
hesitation, made me
doubt
what he planned to do.
His hand, tenderly moving
my hair from my face and his eyes beseeching mine.
 
Shit, he looked so different.
 
He looked to me with such care and
concern.
 
Sebastian’s gaze implored mine,
searching for a hidden answer with in me.
 
He looked to me in want and need.
 
But
, the need was more than sex.
 

He lowered down and kissed my cheek then jaw.
 
Unaware of my own body, I found my hands
cautiously moving up his arms landing lightly around his neck. His hands moved
slow and deliberately, just grazing my skin. Down the length of me and to my
panties snaking around my back, he lifted me from the bed forcing my back to
arch as he pulled my panties off and down my legs.
Why the
hell
wasn’t I stopping him?
 
His
blue eyes, staring into mine, his expression held no malice, just a longing,
pure and sober.
 
The look in his eyes
scared the shit out of me.
 
Catching my
breath his head lowered down to the side of
mine and my lungs
burned with the need for air.
 
Pulling in
a desperate breath, my body trembled from the pure intimacy he invoked.

His lips and tongue moved down with purpose pausing at my
chest.
 
Gingerly, his hand cupped my
breast as his mouth sensually took my nipple.
 
Teasing the bud, he sucked hard pulling.
 
My arousal skyrocketed with each careful stroke of his tongue.
 
The sensation relaxed my nerves instantly and
pulled the desire hidden within me.
 
Sebastian’s free hand slid down and between my legs, slowly teasing the
outer edges of my bared center.
 
Slowly
he broke into the wet slits of my pussy, easing down into my soaked and
desperate desire.
 
With two
fingers
he drove inside me only to slow his actions.
 
Shifting slowly, he was taking his time to
learn my body.
 
Locating my g-spot, he
began to work me.
 
Slow at first, with
each thrust of his fingers, began to fuck me with them, adding a third
finger.
 
Letting go my body began to
respond to his movements, arching into his thrusts.
 

Taking me just to the edge, he removed his hand.
 
It was as if he sensed my need to climax and
just stopped.
 
My body withered under
his, needing and begging for the climax he denied.

Pausing, he was up on his knees and his hands moved
slow
on the outer part of my legs, lifting them up, only to
part my legs fully to the bed.

A nervous tremble rolled thru me, and down to my legs. He
lifted his sight to my face, and his hands moved back up the full length of me.
Slow…yes he took his time with each gesture. Those eyes…those dangerously
beautiful eyes had me trapped.

His body lingered between my legs, and his hand guided my
hands up above my head. Fiddling and rubbing my wrist, I heard the clicks.
Instinct told me to pull my hands back down…no…he handcuffed me to the bed. My
eyes widened into his now grinning expression.
 
Holly shit! He just cuffed me to the bed!
 
Fear spiked through me, and my adrenaline
flooded my veins.

“Let go Lillian…I won’t hurt you!” that seductive voice
rolled over me.

Breaking my gaze from his, he lifted up from me, just
enough for me to see what he was doing.
 
My eyes traveled down the impressive body that belonged to him.
 
Fuck, he
was built
!
 
Like Charlie, he
was carved
to perfection, and his cock was more than impressive.

The sound of the foil packet being torn open, recognition
hit, oh shit. He applied the condom…

I thought Charlie was large…Oh lord, he was huge, and this
would hurt. I suddenly felt small very small, compared to his large body and
arousal.

The tremble once more released from me. Raising my eyes to
his…he smiled…that grin was of confidence and possibly something more.

Sebastian came down, hovering above me. My only reaction
was to pull at the handcuffs that held my hands tight. For the first time I
felt the fear of a man course thru me…he had control.

As if he sensed my trepidation, he lowered his head to my
neck and kissed me softly moving to my jaw then paused.

“I won’t hurt you,” he repeated.
Over and
over
.
 
I was scared and the fear I
held ran through my trembling body.

I
wasn’t
sure if he was referring
to his size or something more…

“Lillian?” he paused as I could feel him at my entrance “I
need you.
 
I want you.
 
I promise I
won’t
hurt you.
 
Not you.”
 
He
pause
and his
eyes landed on mine. “Lillian?”

Deep
breath
in, I found my voice
and responded, “Yes Sebastian?” Looking straight into his eyes, I know
understood what he was waiting for.

Pushing his full size into me, Sebastian’s hands held my
hips firm, forcing me still, as his entrance burned with an exquisite
pain.
 
There was nothing gentle about his
entrance, as he pushed fully, until he
couldn’t
get
any further inside.

His size had pulled me, filled me.
 
The burn of his retreat was oddly ecstasy,
and my body was betraying me. My breath labored, my heart erratic, as he lifted
up from me gripping my hips and ass off the bed, with in his hold. Now, I
understood the need for the handcuffs.

They held me taut, as his thrust dove fully and deep into
me.
Over and over
. I thought he meant to break me. My
body dove into the now blossoming climax…oh
yes,
he
was working me over and into a blazing heat.
 

Having sensed it earlier, Sebastian was a man of control,
complete control.
 
His idea of fucking
was hard and consuming.
 
Wanting to shut
down, I
couldn’t
, each thrust pulled me further into
an ecstasy that shouldn’t be there.
 
Yet,
he wielded the desire and controlled every ounce of it.

Yes, I moaned …his length pounded hard and harder…His
breath labored and his body was close, so deliciously close, when he flipped me
over and took me from behind. Grabbing at my breast, his thrust felt harder,
possibly deeper than before. My climax hit unexpectedly, as I
wasn’t
sure if it was the fear or lack of control that
brought me undone.
 
My body clenched down
around his hard cock.
 
He was so deep,
thrusting hard and wild.
 
He was
consuming and
deliberate
at the same time.
 
Dear lord, I spent already and yet, my body
yearned for more of his assault.

“Jesus…”He roared “Lillian your body…” his words dropped
off, as he pulled fully from me. “I hate these things.
 
Please tell me
your
on birth control?” He demanded.

“Yes, but don’t cum inside me please.”
 
Why I begged for that I was unsure, I just
did.

I heard him rip the condom off, reentered me without the
barrier that had been there previously.
 
He returned fully and raw.

Fuck me; his reentrance brought an instant climax.

This is what he wanted and needed. His thrusts increased
and the tension running thru him was invading me.

Oh lord…I came and hard.
 
My body clamped down so hard, I
didn’t
think it
was possible.
 

He fully tensed, and pulled from me, spilling on my back.

With his full release, my body fell limp to the bed. My
hips felt like they were dislocated.

I
couldn’t
move. The bed shifted
as he wiped his orgasm off my back then unlocked the cuffs.

Burying my head into the pillow, I
didn’t
have the strength to move let alone talk. I felt him shift off the bed.

Fuck, I was sore and fully unhinged.

Shaking my head…I
didn’t
understand, how I got here…how I was in his bed, let alone, what just
happened.
 
My mind turned back to last
night, and the anxiety followed…visions of blood…Brady…oh shit. My breathing
increased. I felt like I was suffocating. Unable to move, I was panicking, my
heart racing erratically…Sebastian lifted me up off the bed and into his arms.
I couldn’t breathe…Sam
!…
I rasped, and the tears burned
in my eyes.

“Breathe Lillian!” He commanded “Breathe!”

I shook, and my body trembled.

“Sam’s ok…she pulled through…now breathe Lillian!”
 
His voice was controlled yet demanding.

I felt him carry me up into his arms. Before I knew it, I
felt the warmth of the water cascade all around me. Finally, I sucked in a deep
breath my lungs burned.

“That a girl…slow deep breathes.”

Slowly, he allowed my feet to touch the floor of the
shower, but still held me to him. Tenderly he kissed my head running his hands
thru my hair.

“She’s fine…the bullet went through her side…she’s ok, and
the doctors assured me that there was no damage to her Lillian. Your friend has
been at her side all night and day.”

“Day?”
I
looked up into his eyes through a blurred vision of mine.
 
The tears burned in my eyes, threatening to
take control of me.

“Yes Lillian…its 5 in the evening…you slept all day.
 
I was afraid to leave you, so I stayed with
you in bed, making sure you were ok.”

“All day?” the question was more for me then him.

“I sensed you just needed sleep, as you were talking the
entire time.”

Oh, shit…
that’s
right, I talk in
my sleep.

“Lillian?”

“Yes?” I looked up to him.

“What happened to you?” His expression was of concern and
his eyes held a tenderness that I
wasn’t
expecting.

“I don’t understand your question?” I whispered.

“You have all the signs of PTDS…” he paused looking down to
me. “Who’s Ally?”

This line of questioning was too personal, and not
something, I wanted to discuss with him.
 
The defensive need to find all control came at me like a ton of
bricks.
 
How did I let my guards down?
 
Reprising myself discipline, I reigned in my
famous control.
 
Walls, erected once
more.

“Nothing happened to me Sebastian.”
 
My voice, stern and cold.

“Lillian, please talk to me?”

“I don’t know you
Sebastian,
and
this is not your concern; what did or did not happen to me, is not any of your
business, nor do I wish to discuss it with someone I don’t plan on seeing
again.”

He slighted his head to the side and his eyes looked
tenderly down at me.

The look on his face looked disappointed, but almost
understanding.
 
Nope, not going there,
the walls flew up again.
 
Damn, I had to
battle myself to keep them up.
 
I
didn’t
know him and the idea of discussing my demons with
him was not an option.

“Sebastian, honestly, I was just another conquest for you,
I highly doubt that there would be much more to this.” I offered coolly and
stern moving my body out from his hold.

Looking down to the floor of the shower, I knew he
understood my words…even more I understood them.

I was indeed a conquest and nothing more. I backed up and
turned from him.

“Lillian don’t go”, he sighed.
 
A moment of hesitation, I paused to the plea.
 
No,
can’t
do
this.
 
He’s
going to hurt me.
 
I know his type and I
know his motives, regardless of what his eyes say, he is cold and
calculating.
 
This is a
game to him, one that I entered into.
 
A game
I’m
not willing to lose myself to.

“I don’t want to play this game…I’m tired Sebastian and see
no need in it!”
 
I gritted out in anger.

I stepped from the shower and grabbed the towel. Not
bothering to turn, I knew he followed me out.

“You’re not a conquest Lillian…you are more,” he offered.