Hostage (9 page)

“Right, that’s enough. Come on, get out.”

“Oh. Can’t I stay for just a little while longer? It feels so good.”

“Only if you can manage on your own. Joint showering isn’t really my thing, though, so I’m ready to get out now. I’ll get dry, then help you when you’re ready.”

“Okay.” Astrin smiled and closed his eyes. He leaned against the wall, letting the water run over his face. Rowan got out of the shower and grabbed a towel, quickly drying and dressing in slightly damp clothes. He then slipped into the bedroom to get clean pajamas for Astrin. Having second thoughts, he called through the door to him.

“I’m just going out for a few minutes. Are you all right where you are until I get back?”

“I’m fine.”

Rowan set off at a run and made record time getting to his room and back. He got a few surprised looks from the guards, but apart from that no one bothered him.

He was panting when he entered the bathroom. Astrin was still where Rowan had left him, his eyes closed, a smile on his face. Choosing a large fluffy towel, Rowan opened the shower door. For a moment Astrin didn’t move, and Rowan was entranced. Astrin looked more relaxed than Rowan had ever seen him, and his smile lit up his face. Rowan’s breath caught in his throat; then he shook his head.

“Hey, merman, it’s time to get dry. Hell, considering you didn’t want to get in, it’s proving hard enough to get you out.”

Astrin opened his eyes, giving Rowan a dreamy look from under lowered lashes. “What’s merman?”

“It’s like a half-man, half-fish creature.”

“Oh.” Astrin smiled and stepped out. Rowan wrapped him in the towel, then got another to rub at his hair while Astrin dried himself. At least that was the plan. Astrin didn’t make a move to dry, though; he just stood with the warm, fluffy towel around him, rubbing his face in its softness.

“Will you stop doing that? Get dry. I want to be out in the sunshine.”

“It’s nice right here,” Astrin said in a contented voice, glancing up at Rowan with his wide, innocent eyes. Rowan turned his head away.

“Trust me, it’s nicer in the garden in the sunshine.”

“Okay,” Astrin said and patted himself, halfheartedly.

When he was dry, Rowan steered him into the bedroom and sat him down on the bed. Astrin seemed terribly tired.

“Shall I put my pajamas back on?”

“No. Here.” Rowan picked up a pile of clothes from the chair. “I brought some of mine. I think we’re pretty much the same size. I thought it would make you feel better if you got out of those pajamas.”

Astrin’s face lit up, and he grabbed the clothes eagerly. Dressing defeated him, though, and after putting on underwear and socks, he lay half on and half off the bed, while Rowan did the rest.

“Gods, you’re hard work. Do you know that?” Rowan grumbled as he carefully pulled the shirt over Astrin’s head, making sure he didn’t disturb the tube in his arm.

“Am I?” Astrin asked in a voice that suggested he didn’t really care.

“Trust me… you are.” But Rowan was smiling as he said it.

Astrin sighed. “Are you sure we can’t just stay here? I really am very tired.”

“You can have a nap in the garden if you like. Ragnor said you need sun. You’re very pale.”

Closely examining his hand and comparing it with Rowan’s, Astrin nodded. “I’m a much different color than you. Is that because I’ve been ill?”

“Not entirely. I’m darker skinned, so you’ll never be as tanned as me, but we can at least get some color in your cheeks.”

Astrin smiled and nodded. “Where’s the garden?”

“Not far.”

“I don’t think I can walk very far,” Astrin said thoughtfully.

“That’s all right, we have a chariot.” Grinning, Rowan indicated the chair on wheels, which was still in the corner of the room. Astrin frowned.

“What’s that?”

“What does it look like? It’s a chair with wheels. You sit in it, and I push you.”

Astrin regarded it suspiciously. “It doesn’t look safe.”

“As long as you hold on tight, I promise not to tip you over.”

Astrin let himself sink gracefully into the chair. “I place myself in your hands,” he said, gazing up at Rowan with an open, innocent expression. Rowan frowned, something stabbing at his heart with a quick thrust—guilt maybe.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Rowan smiled. “I was just wondering if that was a wise thing to do.”

“Why not? You wouldn’t hurt me, would you, Rowan?”

Rowan’s frown deepened. “I don’t think so. Not deliberately. Not anymore.”

Astrin paused, and it seemed he was about to say something, but he didn’t; he just shook his head and allowed Rowan to push him out into the garden. Feeling lazy and tired after his disturbed night, Rowan took Astrin to the same spot they’d been the day before. Astrin looked around with a smile on his face.

“Have I been here before?”

“Of course you have. Does it look familiar?”

“I… I think… I think I remember… something. Being here… with you.”

“Yes, you’ve been here with me. You fell asleep in the grass.”

“Can we do that again?”

“I was counting on it.”

Astrin laughed and got out of the chair. Rowan noticed he was getting stronger on his feet.

P
LAYING
G
AMES

S
INKING
DOWN
onto the velvet-smooth grass, Astrin stretched out and closed his eyes. His pale hair was a startling contrast to the dark green grass.

“What?”

“Huh?” Rowan was jolted out of his thoughts.

“You were staring at me.”

“Sorry. It’s just… you look so different out here in the sun. Not so ill.”

Astrin raised himself on his elbows and looked at Rowan with his head cocked. “Have you been worried about me?”

“Worried?”

“When I was ill, were you worried?”

Rowan bit his lip. “I’m your friend, so of course I was worried.”

“I’m better now, though… aren’t I?”

Rowan nodded and smiled. “Yes, you’re much better now, and soon, very soon, you’ll be back to your old self again.” He couldn’t quite keep the wistful note out of his voice. A strange pain settled over his heart when he realized this one day was all they would ever have, at least as they were now. Who knew—perhaps in time they’d grow to be friends again, on equal terms, but it wouldn’t be the same; it wouldn’t have the same intensity.

And perhaps… perhaps when Astrin was himself again, he’d remember what had been done to him and wouldn’t want to know the boy who’d done it… or at least was complicit in it. Perhaps he’d never be more than icily polite. Perhaps those green eyes would always be cold.

“What are you thinking?”

Rowan forced himself to smile and shook his head. “Nothing important. I was just wondering…. No, it doesn’t matter.”

“You look sad.”

“No, not sad, just… thoughtful.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to be sad.” Astrin lay down again and closed his eyes. Rowan was caught by the way the sun lit up his hair. He’d thought it was almost white, devoid of color, but the sun brought out the gold. Astrin was very different today, and Rowan wondered why. Maybe it was Rowan himself who was different.

Rowan lay down, close to Astrin, and closed his eyes. Relaxing, he allowed the music of the water to lull him and the sunlight to warm him. Soon he felt himself drifting.

“Who are you?”

Rowan’s eyes snapped open, and he sat up, startled. “What?”

“Who are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I know you’re Rowan, and I know you’re my friend but—” Astrin rolled over onto his side and propped his head on his hand. Rowan was momentarily distracted by the way the light caught his hair where it cascaded over his arm. “—all of this is very grand. There were guards in uniform at the door, and there are others, hiding. The buildings and the gardens are well kept and clearly… well,
grand
. You must be someone important to live here.”

Rowan smiled. “Not so very important. It’s not my house.”

“Oh. Whose house is it?”

Casting about for a believable response, Rowan came up with nothing. “Someone very important.”

“Are they your friends?” Astrin asked, a small frown creasing the smooth skin between his brows.

“Are who my friends?”

“The very important people who live here.”

“Kind of.”

“Are they my friends?”

Rowan’s head started to ache with the stress of trying to find safe answers to Astrin’s questions. “Gods, you ask a lot of questions.”

“What else do I have?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I have no memories, no idea who I am, where I come from. I know nothing about my life before I woke up in that room this morning. I know nothing, remember nothing, understand nothing… so what do I have but questions?”

“You have me,” Rowan said gently, which made Astrin smile.

“I have you to ask questions to.”

“You’re such hard work, you know.”

“So I’ve been told.”

For a time they lay side by side, listening to the birds, the water, and each other breathe… and then they fell asleep.

Rowan woke with something ticking his nose. He swatted at it, but it kept coming back. Finally he opened his eyes to find himself looking up into laughing green eyes on the other side of a long grass stem. He grinned and stretched.

“What time is it?”

“How do I know? I hope it’s time for food, because I’m so hungry, I was contemplating eating you.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Rowan said mildly. “I taste bad.”

“Then take me to food because right now, I don’t care how bad you taste. I tried eating grass but decided I didn’t like it, and the fish are too fast.”

“They don’t taste good raw anyway,” Rowan said, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. “But now that you come to mention it, I’m hungry too.” He checked his digital display. “Heck, no wonder, we’ve been asleep for ages.”

Rowan got up and held his hand out to Astrin, who only winced slightly as he got to his feet. “You seem better.”

“I feel better. Ragnor was right, the sunshine did me good.” He grinned at Rowan. “Can I walk awhile? You can push the chair, and I’ll sit in it if I think I’m going to fall down.”

“Sure.”

Walking slowly, with Astrin making regular side trips to examine all sorts of things that caught his interest, they made their way back toward the palace. After a few minutes, Astrin grew tired and sat down in the chair again. He rested his head back and closed his eyes, lifting his face to the sun.

“It’s so good to feel the warmth on my face. If feels as if it’s the first time.”

“It’s the first time in a long time.”

Astrin frowned. “Yes… a very long time.”

He sounded so wistful, Rowan was moved to pause and reach forward to touch his hair. Twisting his head, Astrin gazed up at him. “It’s almost over now.”

“Almost?”

“You’re getting there. Very soon you’ll be yourself again. When you have your memory back, it will be over.”

Astrin nodded contemplatively. “Yes… I suppose.”

“It will come back.”

“Are you sure? I feel… I’m afraid I’ll always feel like this, that nothing will change.” Astrin looked up again sharply. “Not that I want everything to change. It’s good being here, with you. It’s not…. Only….”

“I know. And yes, I’m sure. They will come back. Everything will come back.”

Sighing, Astrin relaxed and closed his eyes. “I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m untrustworthy.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You should.”

“Ah, well.”

When they reached the palace doors, they had to abandon the chair, so Rowan helped Astrin mount the steps and enter the cool hall. Astrin’s eyes were wide as he stared around the grand structure.

“Wow, it… it’s beautiful. Are you sure it’s all right for us to be in here?”

“I’m sure. Come on, this way.”

The games room was just that: a room filled with games of all kinds, from board games to old-fashioned arcade games—complete with virtual reality pods—to the latest AI interactive computer simulators.

Letting Astrin slide into a large leather armchair, Rowan went to a console and turned on the sound system, flooding the room with gentle music.

Astrin looked around with something approaching awe.

“Will you be all right for a while if I go get us something to eat? Lunch is over, but I know the cook, so I’m sure I can sneak something out of the kitchen.”

Astrin’s eyes lit up. “Now you’re talking.”

When Rowan came back with a laden trolley, Astrin was standing in the window, closely examining one of the pieces from a fine crystal and gold chess set.

“Do you play?”

Astrin shrugged. “The way it’s set up, and some of the figures seem… familiar, but I’ve no idea how to play or even if I ever have. Have you played with me?”

“No. That’s why I asked if you play.”

“Oh… right.” He noticed the trolley and set down the chess piece. “Gosh, Rowan, how much did you steal? There’s enough to feed an army here.”

“Hardly… do you have any idea how much an army eats?”

Astrin examined the food on the trolley and began to pick—a taste here and another there. Loading his plate with all the things he liked the look and smell of, Astrin sat down at a small table and sank comfortably into the chair. He ate slowly, and made small exclamations of pleasure when he tasted something new that he liked. To Astrin it was as if everything were new. For a while Rowan envied him.

“So what is all this stuff?” Astrin asked at last when he finally put down his plate, having eaten most of its contents.

“Games.”

“What kind of games?”

“All kinds. What kind do you like?”

Frowning, Astrin shook his head. “I have no idea. You’re my friend, you remember before…. You tell me.”

Rowan thought carefully about all the things he’d ever been told about Astrin and considered what a person like that might like to do.

“You’ve never been one for games. You’re too serious. You liked to read and think and talk to people. But at this point, I think games would be good for you.”