Hostage (4 page)

With a deep sigh, Astrin blinked open his eyes and stared blankly at Rowan. Actually, he didn’t have blue eyes. They were a light, clear green—except they weren’t clear at all. Rowan was speechless with shock. Now it came to it, he didn’t know what to do or what to say. He still wanted to hit Astrin, to spit in his face, but now he wanted to talk to him first.

The green eyes began to clear and the blankness infused with confusion as Astrin blinked sleepily at Rowan. Rowan couldn’t bring himself to say a word.

Astrin frowned, turned his head, and blinked at Ragnor, who smiled encouragingly at him. Astrin mirrored him, with an uncertain twitch of the lips.

“How are you feeling this morning? It’s good to see you awake again.”

“I… feel?” The voice was a whisper, lighter than air.

“You’ve been ill, Astrin. Do you feel better now?”

Astrin frowned and turned back to Rowan, his face puzzled. “I don’t know you.”

“Um.”

Ragnor stood up, getting Astrin’s attention again. He leaned over the bed and brushed the pale blond hair out of the wide, confused eyes, then slid his hand around to the back of his neck. Astrin shuddered and half closed his eyes. Ragnor bent close and spoke slowly in a hypnotic voice.

“You have been ill, Astrin, very ill, but you are getting better now. Rowan is your friend, and he is going to help you get better. You are to listen to Rowan and do everything he tells you. If you do that, you will be safe. Very soon you will be well again, but in the meantime you must trust Rowan. Don’t ask him questions—just trust him.”

Ragnor stood up and stroked Astrin’s cheek, a strange expression in his eyes. He spoke in his normal voice, leaving Rowan wondering what the hell just happened. “So, I’ll arrange for some lunch to be served. You and Rowan can relax and chat for a while. If you’re up to it, Rowan can take you for a walk in the garden. It’s a beautiful day, and I think you’d like that.”

Astrin looked even more confused, but he nodded his head mechanically. “I….” He swallowed, looking uncomfortable, his eyes moving from side to side as if he was struggling with something.

“Don’t worry, Astrin. Everything’s all right now,” Ragnor said, in that same strange voice, and Astrin relaxed. “You’re perfectly safe here with Rowan. You trust him, don’t you?”

Astrin looked at Rowan and nodded thoughtfully, his gaze puzzled. Ragnor didn’t look too happy.

“I’ll see to the food. Perhaps you would like to have a shower before it comes. Give us a moment. I have a few things to say to Rowan.”

Astrin nodded, but he was still frowning, with that puzzled look on his face. Ragnor drew Rowan aside.

“Be careful, Rowan. He’s not as compliant as I would have liked him to be. He shouldn’t be questioning anything, just completely accepting everything. He’s thinking too clearly and senses something’s not quite right. I will try to correct that tonight. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to—never mind, that’s not your concern. Just make sure you keep him occupied, and if he starts to question too much, or if it seems he is remembering something, bring him back and put him under.”

“What if he won’t come?”

“He won’t have an option. As soon as you tell him it’s time to sleep, he’ll be completely focused on coming back here and lying down. After that he has no choice.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. If you have any trouble at all, call me. I won’t be far away.”

Rowan suddenly felt very vulnerable and uncertain. “Are you sure about this, Ragnor? Are you sure it’s safe?”

“It’s safe for you,” Ragnor replied dryly.

“Okay.” Rowan submitted with a sigh, realizing the futility of trying to argue with Ragnor. Why would it make any difference now when it never had before?

When Ragnor had gone, Rowan was strangely reluctant to speak to Astrin.

“Um… so… do you want to shower?”

Astrin stared at him, blinking his bright-green eyes, and Rowan felt suddenly uncomfortable, as if Astrin were gazing straight through him, into his soul.

“I… think so.” Now that his voice was getting stronger, it was light and musical, and Rowan found he actually liked it. Angry at the fact he liked anything about his mortal enemy, he was a little rougher than he should have been. He yanked back the covers and practically dragged Astrin out of bed.

Unfortunately, Astrin was very weak and not able to support himself. Muscles that had been kept toned but immobile struggled to remember how to move and support him. He sank immediately to the floor with a cry of distress.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t… I can’t… I can’t stand up.”

“Great. Here, lean on me.”

Rowan put his arm more carefully around Astrin and helped him to his feet. Astrin smiled in gratitude, but Rowan scowled. Close up, Astrin was ever prettier, and with those beautiful green eyes, he seemed… sweet. He had an innocent gentleness that Rowan was sure must come from his condition, but still…. There was something about him that was making it difficult to keep hating him, and there was no way Rowan was going to let go of that hate. No way.

Half dragging him, Rowan helped Astrin into the bathroom and lowered him onto the chair while he switched on the shower. When he turned back, Astrin was examining the tube in his arm.

“What’s this?”

Rowan considered. “Ragnor told you that you’ve been ill. It’s so they can give you medicine.”

“Oh.”

“You had one in your stomach too, and we had to liquidize food and squirt it in with a big syringe.”

Rowan took great pleasure in the queasy look that came over Astrin’s face as he slid down the waistband of his pajamas and examined the square of waterproof tape that covered a sealed dressing on his abdomen.

“Quit worrying. You get to eat real food again. As long as you can keep it down and not throw up too much, they won’t put the tube back.”

Astrin blanched. “I’ll try.” He swallowed and looked distracted. “Have I been ill for long?”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

Rowan shrugged. “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Astrin looked hurt. “I thought you were my friend. The doctor said….”

Rowan snorted. “What the hell does he know? Truth is, you’re annoying as hell, and I only spend time with you because there isn’t anyone else prepared to do it. So stop asking so many questions and get in the shower.”

“So, you’re not my friend?”

“The closest thing you have to one around here.”

“But you don’t like me.”

Rowan looked at him—at the wide eyes, the trembling lips, the pale face. Astrin was badly shaken and frightened. Rowan bit back a nasty grin.

“Just remember who’s been feeding you these last weeks—and cleaning up your puke and shit.”

Astrin blushed, a very attractive shade of shell pink, and his eyes opened even wider. He swallowed, biting his trembling lip. “But you still don’t like me.”

Rowan laughed. “What are you? A girl?
Oh please, please like me. Poor little me needs a friend.
Just get in the shower.”

Astrin opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again, giving Rowan a look that was sad, confused, and hurt—but also a little calculating. That wiped the smile off Rowan’s face. Fucked up or not, Astrin was no fool, and he knew when things didn’t add up.

“Can you stand?” Rowan asked more gently. Astrin tried and was able to get upright, but as soon as he attempted to move, his legs gave way, and he would have fallen if Rowan hadn’t caught him. Astrin looked up at him with expressionless eyes. Rowan had the uncomfortable feeling there was a lot going on behind them.

“Thank you, Rowan,” Astrin said softly.

Embarrassed, it was Rowan’s turn to blush and turn his head away. “Do you want me to put the chair in the shower for you to sit on?”

Astrin looked at the chair doubtfully. “It will ruin it.”

Rowan shrugged. “So it gets ruined.”

“Can’t I just lean on you?”

“In the shower?”

“Why not?”

“Because we’d have to take our clothes off, that’s why not.”

Astrin looked puzzled. “I don’t understand.”

“Which part of ‘I am not going to get naked in the shower with you’ don’t you understand?”

“Is that bad?”

“Bad? Erm… no… not exactly bad… not… bad.”

“Then…?”

“I’m just not doing it, okay?”

“You said you took care of me. You must have seen my body when you were… you know… cleaning it.” He gulped, still looking queasy. “What’s the difference?”

“The difference is that this time you’re awake.”

“So…?”

Rowan stared at him. What was this kid on?
Oh yeah… right
. He sighed. “Okay. All right. Five minutes, and I’m not washing you.”

Astrin fumbled with the buttons on his pajamas. Rowan stared at him, and then he shook his head and began to strip. When they were both naked, he helped Astrin get to his feet and into the shower. Astrin rested his head on Rowan’s shoulder, sighing with pleasure as the warm water hit his back and eased his straining muscles. Rowan stood stiff and uncomfortable, his arms awkwardly around Astrin.

There was something strangely satisfying in how well Astrin fitted into Rowan’s arms. Something stirred inside that scared the hell out him. Rowan had never had a romantic relationship with anyone. He hadn’t had either the time or the interest. If he’d thought of it at all, he’d assumed that one day he’d either meet someone and fall in love or rely on his uncle to arrange a marriage to a suitable woman. Experiencing these strange stirrings from closeness to another man was something he’d never have imagined, and it was certainly not something he welcomed.

Finally, he could bear it no longer and pushed Astrin away from him roughly. “That’s enough.”

With a grunt, Astrin slipped. He flung out his arms to save himself, but he wasn’t strong enough and sank to his knees. Astrin let out a miserable sound and rested his head against Rowan’s stomach. Horrified, Rowan skittered backward until he hit the wall.

“Get off.”

He pushed Astrin’s head so hard it snapped back and cracked against the wall. Astrin cried out in pain and looked up at him, blinking.

“What… what’s wrong? What did I do? I didn’t… I didn’t mean….”

“Get up,” Rowan ground through gritted teeth. Astrin tried, but he was tired now, confused too, and hurt. He just didn’t have the strength. Hissing with annoyance, Rowan got out of the shower and closed the door on Astrin, leaving him on the floor.

“For the Gods’ sake, Raphael, you are such bloody hard work. Don’t forget to wash your hair.”

Grabbing his clothes, Rowan left the bathroom, ignoring Astrin’s weak calls. In the bedroom a trolley had appeared, laid out with a cold lunch. He quickly dried and dressed, then sat down to eat.

After about five minutes, Rowan started to feel guilty. There had been no further sound from the bathroom. He fought with himself for another five minutes and started to choke on the food, so with a sigh of annoyance, he laid aside his plate, got to his feet, and opened the bathroom door.

Astrin had managed to get out of the shower and dry himself, but he had not been able to get his clothes on. He was sitting on the chair, leaning against the counter, resting his head on his crossed arms… and he was crying.

For a brief moment, Rowan felt bad. He knew he was totally responsible for Astrin’s distress, and part of him was gleeful about it. The part that felt bad was pretty disgusted by that. It was only a brief moment, though, and after that he just got mad.

“What the hell are you doing? You’re going to get ill again. Get dressed.”

Astrin looked up, his eyes swollen and distressed. “I tried,” he whispered. “I really tried, but I got so tired.” He gulped.

“Oh, for goodness sake.”

Far more roughly than necessary, Rowan helped Astrin dress and supported him out of the bathroom, depositing him on the bed. Then he pushed the trolley over to him with his foot.

“Help yourself.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I’ve been told to make sure you eat, so you’re going to eat if I have to stuff it down your throat.”

“But I….”

“Eat, Astrin.”

With a sigh, Astrin reached out and took a sandwich. He nibbled at it delicately, his face twisting as he tried to swallow.

Rowan watched impassively, inwardly smiling. This was going to be rewarding after all. If his uncle thought he was going to use this time to get to know Astrin, he was sadly mistaken. He was going to use it to torture him in every way he could.

Rowan lounged back in the chair and watched Astrin struggle through a few bits and pieces, then got frustrated and annoyed when he threw up on the floor, failing to make it to the bathroom.

Astrin crouched on the floor, panting and apologizing. Rowan ignored him as he cleaned up. Just as he was finishing, the door opened and Ragnor came in. He looked at Astrin, then at Rowan, and narrowed his eyes.

“Rowan? What’s going on here?”

Rowan scowled. “You told me to make sure he ate. I made sure he ate, and he threw up.”

“What’s he doing on the floor?”

“He fell over trying to get to the bathroom.”

“It’s all right,” Astrin said in his soft voice. “I’m not hurt.”

“That’s not the point.” Astrin shrank from the severe tone in Ragnor’s voice. “The point is, Rowan, that Astrin is your charge, and for as long as he is your charge, it is your responsibility to take care of him. And that means he takes priority over everything—including cleaning up. Do you understand?” Rowan hung his head. “Do you understand?” Ragnor repeated sternly.

Rowan snapped, “Yes. I understand.”

“Good. I would hate to think we misunderstood each other.” Ragnor’s eyes locked with Rowan’s, and it was Rowan who turned away first, although he made sure Ragnor didn’t miss the look of pure poison he gave Astrin before he got up and stalked into the bathroom.

“I
T
’
S
ALL
right,” Astrin said as Rowan slammed the bathroom door. “Really. He’s been very helpful.”

“He has?” Ragnor’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t comment further. “Let me help you.”