Hunting Human (20 page)

A bead of sweat rolled down her neck, slipped beneath her tank top and traced a path down her spine.

“Concentrate.” Chase prowled the woods around her, close but out of sight.

“I am!” All she did was concentrate, focus, fail and try again. “This isn’t helping.”

“Because you aren’t trying.”

Beth surged to her feet, brushing forest debris from her clothes. “The hell I’m not. All I do is try. I’ve been trying all damn week!” She stalked across the small clearing they used for practice. Every day for the last week they’d gone out into the forests surrounding the Edwardses’ home and for hours Beth struggled to force herself to shift. She returned every night, cold, exhausted and furious with her lack of progress.

“Had enough?” Chase asked with an edge of malicious humor.

“Could you be less helpful?” Beth snapped back.

“I told you what you need to know.”

Beth angled her head to the right, in the direction she thought he stood. “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s right. Listen. I just have to listen and everything will fall into place. Right. Thanks.” Beth collapsed back to the ground, shoved fingers through her hair and tried to resist the temptation to pull it all out.

“Whiner.”

The bastard is amused!

Beth pulled her fingers from her hair and dug them into the earth beneath her.

“You ready to head back?”

“Sure.” Beth didn’t move from her reclined position. “I’ll follow you.”

“Nice try.”

Beth shrugged.

Worth a shot.

The thought of their house and a hot shower pulled her to her feet. The thought of wandering around the forest for an hour or so weighted her limbs. Every time they came out here Chase brought her through a different section of forest. And every night he made her find her own way home. She’d yet to manage it in under an hour or without Chase’s snarky hints.

“You’ve denied your senses for a long time. Until you learn to focus them, you’re stuck.”

“Focus on what exactly?”

“Anything. Everything,” he answered. Leaves rustled to her left. He was moving.

“That’s specific.” Beth followed the tree line, seeking any movement that would give away his location.

“What are we having for dinner tonight?” Chase asked from behind her.

Damn.

“What?”

“What’s on the menu?” He dropped to the forest floor, weight on his palms and legs extended in front of him.

“Beats me.” She didn’t ask why he cared, though she knew he wanted to make a point. He rarely said anything otherwise.

“Hmm.”

Beth watched the black soles of his sneakers move up and down as he tapped out a rhythm.

“How far do you think we are from the house?”

“I don’t know.” How far had they walked after lunch? Fifteen, twenty minutes? “Less than a mile.”

His angled his head back, eyes closed to his surroundings. His foot stopped bouncing. He held completely still and drew a deep breath. “Mmm.” He collapsed back to the ground, feet resuming their rhythmic tapping. “Pot roast.”

“You can’t be serious.” Beth scowled in his direction. Why she’d thought he’d be better at this than Braden she had no idea. “You expect me to believe you can smell what your mother is making for dinner?”

“Sure.” He stood up, forest debris raining down his jeans. He grinned at her. “Well, I can’t. But the wolf can.”

Beth knocked her head against the tree behind her. “Whatever.”

“Don’t believe me?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the side.

“It’s a bit far-fetched.”

“Right up there with werewolves?” He punctuated his sarcasm with a toothy grin.

Doesn’t he ever get tired of teasing me?

“Fine. You can smell what your mother’s cooking. You can shift at will.” Beth pushed away from the tree and headed toward their house. “And I can’t. Fantastic.”

“Want to know why?” He fell into place beside her, long strides shortening to match her pace.

“I’ve been asking all week,” she answered, pushing a branch out of her way.

“You’re scared,” he continued before she could interrupt. “You don’t see the wolf. You see the nightmare your mind created for you.”

Beth spun on him, anger fueling her. “I didn’t make it up! I didn’t imagine being chased through the woods. I didn’t imagine Rachel’s shredded throat. I was there! I watched it happen.” Her hands flexed involuntarily at her sides, fingernails digging into her palms. “I felt her blood, her flesh slip through my fingers. I didn’t have to create a nightmare. I held it in my arms!”

“And every time you think of the wolf, you see it again.” He advanced on her, forcing her to back pedal. “Don’t you?”

“Yes!”

The weight of his stare pinned her to the spot. “That’s why you can’t change. It’s not half as hard as you think it is. You’ve done it enough that it should come naturally. A reflex. Muscle memory. But every time you think about it, every time you reach for it, all you see is the monster.” Chase paced closer to her, shoulders hunched, eyes intent. “The wolf didn’t kill Rachel.”

“I watched her die. I know what killed her.”

“Who. Not what. Ivan killed your friend. The wolf was only the weapon he chose to accomplish it.” Chase backed off even as his words reached in to suffocate her. “The wolf isn’t the monster, Beth. You can’t move forward until you accept that.” Chase fell back into place next to her.

“I don’t know how.” Beth brushed passed him, willing the answers to come to her. Every time she closed her eyes, every time she thought about the wolf, she saw Ivan leap, heard Rachel scream. Beth wiped her palms against her jeans, certain if she looked down she’d see Rachel’s blood coating them. “The memory’s always there. I can’t ignore it.”

“No,” Chase agreed. “But you can learn to see past it.”

The trees around them thinned, yards ahead green lawn sprawled toward the house.

“Don’t look so defeated.” Chase sped up. “Pot roast, remember?”

And a hot shower.

The thought buoyed her until she saw Braden’s car in the driveway.

“Besides, you’re making progress.”

“That bad, huh?”

Chase stopped midstride, a quizzical look on his face. “What?”

“You’ve been brutally honest all week. If you’re doling out false compliments I must be doing worse than I thought,” Beth quipped.

“I say what I mean.” Chase jerked his head in the direction of the forest behind her. “You got yourself home tonight.”

Beth glanced over her shoulder. They’d walked straight back to the house. No circles. No aimless wandering. No mocking or self-deprecating remarks. “I followed you.”

“Did you?” Chase leaped up the porch steps. “I thought I was following you.”

Beth stopped midstride. She hadn’t even thought about where she was going.

Luck?

She didn’t think so.

Chase held open the screen door for her. Her mouth watered as the rich aroma of pot roast engulfed her.

“Told you.” Chase laughed.

***

Braden pulled a beer out of the fridge and popped the top off the bottle on the side of the kitchen counter. His mother’s voice rang down the hallway, sending him lunging for the door to the living room.

“Don’t even think about it. You can help me get set up for dinner.”

“Hi, Mom.” Braden set the beer down and started pulling plates out of cabinets.

“Hi, honey.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Haven’t seen much of you this last week.”

Braden shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t forget the placemats,” she said as she set rolls on the stove to cool. “I just expected to see a bit more of you, that’s all.”

“I’ve got a job in Portland, Mom.” He counted out silverware for each place setting. “There were some other things to take care of as well.”

“I’m sure Caleb would have stepped in, had you asked.” There was no admonishment in her tone, but Braden felt her disapproval all the same.

“Look, I needed to get things sorted in the office and, clearly, my help wasn’t necessary.” Braden slammed down the last of the silverware and reached for his beer.

“Not necessary,” his mother agreed. She sighed and turned on him with an expression so soft he ground his teeth together. “But I know you were missed.”

“Put ice in the pitcher on the counter, will you? I’ve made iced tea,” she instructed, deftly switching topics. “Hi Beth, would you tell Lucy, and Matthew if you see him, that it’s time to eat? Chase, wash your hands.”

Braden turned as Beth edged out of the kitchen. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and then ducked out to find Lucy before he could say anything.

I doubt I have anything to say that she wants to hear.

He hadn’t seen her in nearly a week, not since they’d argued in the study. What did she want from him, anyway? She said she needed to master the change? All right. She wanted Chase to be the one to teach her? Fine. He’d stepped out of her way, hadn’t he? She could hardly complain that he’d taken the opportunity to spend a few nights in Portland, straightening out loose ends at the office, fixing the door to her apartment, collecting some of her clothes, even moving her Jeep to his garage.

She didn’t have any trouble telling me exactly what she wanted from me the other night. If she wants me around more, she can damn well say that, too.

***

Beth pulled her feet beneath her and leaned into the corner of the wooden porch swing. The air was crisp against her cheeks and the night so dark she couldn’t see the tree line at the edge of the property. But the porch was quiet, the air smelled of the coming summer and she was as far away from Braden as she could get.

Dinner had been almost as strained as her first breakfast in the Edwards house. She hadn’t seen Braden much in the last few days; either he’d been staying in Portland or commuting during extreme hours of the day. From the moment she’d walked in this evening to find him home, he’d broadcasted hostility. Sitting next to him had been as uncomfortable as sitting next to a porcupine. When he wasn’t ignoring her, he snapped out one word answers between tearing through his food and glaring at Lucy, who kept trying to draw them into conversation.

What’s his problem, anyway?

One minute he’s supportive and understanding—albeit a bit grudgingly—of her decision to take control, the next he abandons her at his parents’ house without so much as a word. Again. And now that he was back, he acted as though he barely knew her, rather than, than…

Than what, exactly?

They were hardly lovers, at least not anymore. So what did that leave?

The thoughts chased each other around her head until she grew dizzy with doubts and insecurities.

One thing was certain. She missed him.

And just what do I do with that?

“Spoon for your thoughts?” Lucy relaxed into the seat next to her and held up two spoons and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. “Not so fast,” she said, jerking her hand back when Beth reached for a spoon. “Something’s giving you premature forehead wrinkles. Spill.”

“Your brother.”

“Ah. Say no more.” She handed over a spoon and pried off the top of the ice cream. “Men. Let’s ask Ben & Jerry what they think.”

Beth sighed around a mouthful of Chocolate Therapy. “What’s his problem anyway?” she asked, reaching for another spoonful.

“Beats me.” Lucy shrugged. “You guys have a fight or something?”

“He’d have to stick around to fight. I haven’t seen him all week.” Beth jabbed at the ice cream with her spoon.

“Hmm. What about before?”

“Before?”

“Yeah, before he up and disappeared? Something must have happened.”

“Not really. We disagreed but he came around.”

“He’s not acting like it,” Lucy observed, pushing the swing back and forth with her toe. “Classic Braden. Ignore the problem. Sulk and brood.”

“Like that solves anything,” Beth grumbled.

“I didn’t say it was rational. What did you expect? He’s a guy. If he isn’t yelling and fighting through conflict, he’s sulking and brooding until he gets over it.”

“Yes, God forbid he actually tell me whatever it is that’s pissed him off.”

Lucy threw her head back and laughed. “What kind of men have you been dating?” Her eyes danced with mirth. “The men I know deal with conflict in one of three ways—they beat it up, they brood about it or they ignore it all together. If you hold out for Braden to tell you what’s crawled up his ass, you’ve got a long wait ahead of you.”

Beth groaned. “How long is long?”

“A decade, maybe two?” Lucy sobered a little. “The point is, if you want this resolved, you better figure out what started it and approach him. So, back to the original question, what did you fight about?”

“He didn’t want me to work on learning to control the shift.” Beth sighed and twisted to face Lucy. “He said it could wait until after Markko wasn’t a threat.”

God only knows when that will be.

Nothing had happened in the last week. No sign of Markko. Nothing.

“And you didn’t want to wait?” Lucy asked, redirecting Beth’s thoughts.

“I didn’t want to wait,” Beth agreed.

“I can understand that. You’ve waited long enough.”

“Yeah. He didn’t get it.” She still didn’t understand why. She’d expected him to push her to embrace the wolf. As far as she could tell, his entire family thought of it as perfectly normal.

“He obviously gave in though.” Lucy stared out at the woods, a smile curling her lips. “Anything else?”

Beth studied her hands for a moment. “I think I might have hurt his feelings.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. After I told him I wouldn’t wait, that I
couldn’t
wait, he offered to help.” Beth winced even as she thought the next words. “I asked Chase instead.”

“And you sit here, wondering why he’s pissed?”

“You’re laughing at me!”

“Well, yeah. I mean, come on. How many men have you dated?”

“I can see how that might have hurt his feelings or something, but I explained why.” Exasperated, Beth turned to Lucy and pinned her with a frustrated glare. She stopped laughing. Mostly. “Chase is less likely to baby me…it’s not like I’ve got a ton of time.” Beth looked back toward the tree line, searching the shadows. “I don’t want to be defenseless.”