I Do (13 page)

“Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?” I turn and look curiously at him. “What do you mean?”

Then he explains how he brought me up here during his senior year in high school. “It was my cousin's birthday party. And I acted like a total moron that night.”

“Oh, yeah,” I say. “I do remember. You got drunk.”

He nods. “I can't even remember the details. Except that you were enraged and I was a jerk. Did I ever tell you I was sorry?”

I laugh. “Several times. As I recall, you showed up with roses and all kinds of things. But by then I was ready to dump you anyway.”

Josh laughs. “We've been through a lot, Catie.”

“So we're going to your cousin's house?” I still feel a little confused by this.

“Actually, Tom doesn't live there. I should probably explain. Tom graduated the same year as I did, but then he went into the air force straight out of high
school. It was all he'd ever dreamed of since he was a little kid. Of course, my aunt and uncle were really disappointed since they would've gladly sent him anywhere to go to school. But Tom wanted the excitement.”

I can tell by the sad tone of Josh's voice that this isn't a happy story. “What happened?”

“Tom was in a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq last year.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry.”

He sighs deeply. “Me too.”

“Are you sure we should go see his parents?”

“Yes, I talked to Aunt Patty this morning, and she said they'd love to have us come out. They are so excited to meet you.”

“Did you ask about the reception?”

“No. I thought we'd just see how it goes.”

“I don't know, Josh. This all seems kind of sad to me. I feel so bad about your cousin. I remember that night and how much I resented him for encouraging you to drink like that. This just feels weird.”

“I know. I was afraid that might be your reaction, so you have to let me tell you the rest of the story.”

“The rest of the story?”

“When the war in Iraq began, I started feeling worried about Tom, and I began e-mailing him on a regular basis. At first he brushed off any talk about God. But then something happened–something that really shook him up–and suddenly he was interested. He gave his life to God over there. I couldn't believe it at first. But
then I discovered it wasn't that unusual. Apparently lots of people in the service find God in the midst of war.”

“Wow. I guess that just shows how God can bring good out of anything.”

“Of course, this wasn't much consolation to Uncle Bob and Aunt Patty since they're not believers. But I think they did appreciate that Tom and I stayed in touch while he was over there.”

Now Josh is pulling up a long tree-lined driveway, and I'm trying to remember what it looked like when Josh brought me here back in high school. As I recall, there were cars parked everywhere, and of course, it wasn't all snowy and white like this. But really, it feels like it was a totally different place. I don't even recall that it was on a lake. But then it was nighttime, it was raining, and I don't recall going out back.

“Good thing I've got it in four-wheel drive.” He steps on the gas and easily takes us up the small incline. Then he parks in front of the house, gets out, and runs around to the other side to open my door. I am feeling nervous about meeting Josh's relatives. It's obvious they are wealthy, but more than that, I'm still feeling bad about their son. It's like I'm grieving. But how would this make sense to anyone?

“There you are,” says a woman with white hair that's stylishly cut to turn under at her shoulders. Despite the color of her hair, her face seems young, though I detect sadness in her eyes. “And this must be the remarkable Caitlin.” She gives me a hug. “I'm Aunt Patty, but you can
call me Patty.” Then she steps back to really look at me. “you're just as pretty as they say. Here, let me take your coats.”

As we give her our coats, I compliment her on the beautiful home. And it really is beautiful. Nothing like I remember from that night when the lights were turned low and there were about a hundred rowdy kids in various stages of intoxication packing it like sardines. This was like something altogether different.

“Bob is on the phone. Why don't you come into the family room and sit down.” Patty leads us through the spacious foyer and through an elegant but not overly decorated living room, where a grand piano dominates a corner by a window. “I have to apologize for our lack of Christmas decorations this year,” she says sadly. “I know I must seem like a Scrooge, but I just didn't have the heart for it.”

“I can understand,” I tell her. “Josh told me about Tom, and I am so sorry. I only met him once, but I can't even imagine how you must be feeling.”

She pauses at the edge of the living room to turn and look into my eyes. “You're right. It is one of those things that no one can imagine. Not unless you go through it yourself, and I certainly hope you never do. Tom was our only child, and I miss him every day.”

“I miss him too,” says Josh. And I can tell by his voice that he's choking up. “I still can't believe he's gone.”

Then she reaches out and gives Josh a big hug. “You remind me of him, Josh. Oh, I know you boys were different,
but there's something of the Miller family in both of you that I can't quit put my finger on.”

Then she takes us into another area that opens up into a huge family room, which connects to a large kitchen. And both these rooms have floor-to-ceiling windows that look out onto the lake.

I think I actually gasp when I see it. “Oh, this is so beautiful.”

She seems surprised by my reaction, but then she turns and follows my gaze out the windows and nods. “Yes, it's quite pretty with the snow.” She glances over at the tall rock fireplace. “I guess I should've asked Bob to light a fire for us.”

“How about if I do that?” suggests Josh.

Patty brightness. “Oh, would you?” Then she turns to me. “Caitlin, would you like a cup of tea?”

“I'd love one.”

“How about something for you, Josh?” she calls as I follow her to the kitchen. “I'm sure you're not a tea drinker. I still have coffee that's fairly fresh.”

“That sounds great,” he calls as he wads up some newspaper.

And so we visit with Josh's aunt, and she talks some more about Tom and how hard this year has been for her and how Christmas will never be the same. And I feel so sad that I'm afraid I won't be able to keep it together. I ask her where the powder room is, and I go in there and cry.

I know it's silly and emotional, but I just can't help
myself. It's as if my heart is breaking for her, and I don't even know how she can hold on. Like there's no hope at all. Finally, I think I've got it under control. I splash some cold water on my face, dry my eyes, and return to where we were having our tea.

“There she is,” says Patty as I emerge, I'm sure, with reddened eyes. “Bob finally got off the phone and wants to–” She stops in midsentence. “Oh, dear, have you been crying?”

Of course, this only makes me start losing it again. “I'm sorry.”

She puts a hand on my shoulder and guides me to the sofa. “Whatever is wrong?”

“I'm just so sad for you–for your loss, I mean.” Then I notice Josh's uncle sitting in a leather chair by the fire-place.

“Has Patty been depressing you with–?”

“No, no,” I say quickly. “Josh just told me about it as we were driving up, and I felt so badly. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to–”

“Caitlin has a very tender heart,” Josh says as he comes and sits on the other side of me. “In fact, she's the one who got me so interested in helping out with the orphan mission in Mexico.”

I turn and smile at Josh, thankful that he's changing the subject.

“Tell us more about that, Josh,” says Patty.

So Josh launches into the story about how I fell apart the first time I saw the garbage-dump kids. He goes on to
explain how this led to FAD, and how we plan to go down there after we're married.

“That's so amazing,” says Patty. “You two kids are something. Imagine wanting to devote your life to helping underprivileged children.”

I shrug. “I guess it's just a God-thing.”

She seems to consider this. “Well, I suppose there are a lot of God-things I don't fully understand.”

“You and me both,” says Josh. Then he inquires about his uncle's investment business, which is apparently run from their home. And then his uncle invites him back to his office to see some new computer thing that he's still trying to get the bugs out of.

“You kids just seem to know more about electronics than us old fogies,” his uncle says as they leave the room. “Tom was always the one I went to when I got stuck on my computer.”

“We reserved a place for the wedding,” I tell Patty as she pours us another cup of tea.

“Where?”

“Saint Matthew's.”

She smiles. “Oh, lovely. That's where we go to church. Bob and I were married there too. Nearly thirty years ago.”

“It's going to be an evening wedding,” I tell her, glad that we're finally talking about something that won't make me cry. “At first I was worried that we'd miss out on the beautiful stained glass, but Josh reminded me that it'll be June then, and the sun will still be out at seven.”

“A June wedding. How perfect. And where is the reception?”

Now I feel uncomfortable. No way can I mention that Josh was hoping these poor grieving people would allow us to use their beautiful lakeside home. “I don't know. We can't afford much, but I wasn't too impressed with the meeting room in the church. And even a hotel feels kind of impersonal to me. I'm not really sure what we'll do yet, but I know that God will provide someplace special.”

Now Patty has this faraway look in her eye. “I used to dream of having a wedding reception out here. I could just imagine Tom and his bride down by the lake. Can you imagine how lovely the photos would be?”

I nod. “It would be amazing.”

Then she looks as if she's had a revelation. “Oh, why don't you kids have the reception here?”

“Oh no. We couldn't impose on you like that. Especially not after all the grief you've been–”

“No, no.” She's standing up now and pacing as if she's staging a play. “I can just imagine it. Oh, it would be so wonderful. We'd have lights and music and that deck down below would be a perfect dance floor.”

She turns and looks at me now, and I can see hope in her eyes. “Oh, please, Caitlin. Wouldn't you consider having it here? It would give me something to think about besides, well, you know. It would give me something to work toward. And don't forget that Josh is very special to us. He and Tom literally grew up together. Please, tell me that you'll think about–”

“Think about what?” Bob says as the two guys come back into the room.

Patty rushes over to her husband and grabs him by the hand. “Oh, Bob, I've just had the most marvelous idea. Tell me that you'll agree.”

He kind of smiles at this. “Why don't you tell me what it is first.”

“I want Josh and Caitlin to have their wedding reception out here. I've always dreamed of having something like that. And who better to have it for than these two?”

Bob's brow creases as he considers this, but by the way he's slowly nodding, I can tell that he's intrigued. “I think it's a great idea. But what about them, Patty? Maybe they don't want to have it in a campy place like this. Maybe they've booked some huge ballroom with crystal chandeliers and marble floors, did you think about that?”

I laugh. “I don't go for that kind of thing.”

“Me neither,” says Josh. “Actually, we'd love to have an outdoor reception.”

“See!” Patty points her finger in the air triumphantly. “Tell me you'll consider it, Josh. You don't have to decide today. But please just think about it.”

“I don't have to think about it. I love the idea.”

“What about you, Caitlin?” asks Bob. “You may need time to think about it. I don't want you to feel like Patty twisted your arm.”

“I would love to have our reception here. I think this is the most beautiful home I've ever been in. And your view
of the lake is spectacular. I couldn't imagine any place better. But I don't want to put you guys out. I know it would involve some work and–”

“Work is what I need right now,” says Patty. “I need something I can plan for and plunge into, something that will take energy. I love to garden, but I know I'll need something to motivate me this year. You kids having your reception here would be the best thing anyone could do for me.”

So it's settled. And even if their home wasn't the most gorgeous place I've seen, I would still want to have it with them. I understand what Patty is saying about needing something like that to help her to move on. But more than that, I just really fell in love with those two people, and I think that God is up to something bigger than a wedding reception in their lives. I know that I'll be praying for them from now on.

Beanie and Jenny came to dinner
tonight. I figured it was a good excuse for me to work on my culinary skills. Unfortunately for them, my culinary skills really need some work. But they didn't complain. Well, not too much. And at least I scored on dessert, which was homemade Boston cream pie and, if I do say so myself, perfectly luscious. But oh, the calories! Good thing I brought my Pilates video with me.

After dinner we sit in the living room with all the magazine pictures that Jenny and I have been tearing out spread across the coffee table. Beanie brought along even more that she's collected too. So, as we're sitting there amid this collage of every imaginable kind of bridesmaid dress, I began to feel a little overwhelmed. Almost dizzy. Or maybe it's the aftereffects of that rich dessert.

But as Jenny and Beanie go back and forth about whether the dresses should be on the shoulder, off the shoulder, or maybe strapless…not to mention whether they should be pastel colors or maybe black…or whether the dresses should be full length or tea length or even short…and on and on they go until I seriously can't stand it anymore.