If Only to Forget (5 page)

“I want you inside me,” I say, positioning myself over him.

“I want to be inside you.”

He grabs my hips and I brace myself, waiting for the moment when he pushes inside me. Knowing it’s going to be rough and hard and better than any drug Tori could find in those lockers.

He thrusts his hips up just as I slam down, and the impact rocks through my body like an earthquake. I cry out and dig my nails into his chest as he holds me tighter, moving me how he wants. Up and down in time with his thrusts, his dick slamming into me so hard it feels like he’s going to rip me half. I’m panting, trying to catch my breath as he moves in and out, but it’s impossible. I can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t talk.

Under me, Riley grunts with every thrust. His skin grows moist and his hands tighten on my hips. I gasp and moan and throw my head back as the world once again fades into nothing, my cries filling the room. Drowning out everything else as a massive orgasm shakes me.

Riley sits up and wraps his arms around my waist. His mouth closes over my nipple as he thrust into me, but my body is still humming with pleasure and the new position has him hitting a spot inside me I didn’t even know existed.

“Riley!” I scream as he slams into me over and over again.

When he finally comes, his arms tighten around my waist, squeezing the air out of my lungs. My nails are embedded in his skin but I can’t make my grip loosen. I can’t do anything but lay my head on his chest and wait for my brain to start working again.

After a few seconds Riley exhales and lays back, taking me with him. He slides out of me and moisture runs down my inner thigh—so much for that shower. My cheek ends up against his chest. His hand on my head. My ear pressed against his heart, thumping so loudly it echoes through my brain.

“Was I too rough?” He’s breathing so hard he can barely talk. 

“You should know by now that I’m a cold-hearted bitch who can’t feel.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t say that.”

I shrug, my cheek brushing against the tuft of hair on his chest. “That’s how people have always treated me. It’s what Patty seems to think.”

“Patty has other problems. You have to know that.”

I do and I don’t. Just because she’s clearly not stable—whether she was that way before or it’s a result of the apocalypse is hard to tell—doesn’t give her the right to say whatever she wants to me.

“Tori was pretty pissed at me too,” I say.

“I saw her. She didn’t seem too pissed, just sad. You have to remember that we’ve all lost, and not everyone here has someone to…forget with.”

He’s right, of course. I’m beginning to think Riley is never wrong. “I think she’s going to try to seduce Jim.”

Riley’s body shakes with the force of his laugh. “Then he’s a lucky guy.”

I smile against his chest, but don’t say anything. None of us are lucky.

“Is this all there is for us then?” I ask, brushing my face against his chest when tears spring to my eyes. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a way out of this place. We’re surrounded. We don’t have any weapons other than the baseball bats.”

Riley runs his hand over my head, brushing my hair out of my face. “I’ve been thinking about it, checking out the parking lot and trying to figure out what to do. It’s going to be rough, but there’s a big SUV parked not too far from here. The door is wide open, so I’d be willing to bet the owner ran off and left the keys in the ignition when things got crazy. If the battery isn’t dead yet, it’s big enough that we could drive through the field to get to a road not jammed with traffic. If there’s any government left, there would be emergency broadcasts. A car would not only get us the hell out of here, but give us access to a radio.”

It sounds like it would be tough, but not impossible. “So what’s the hold-up? Why haven’t we tried it?”

“I’ve been discussing it with Jim. Believe me.” Riley exhales and his body tightens, and I can tell it’s bugging him that we haven’t tried something. “Thing is, we couldn’t all fit in one vehicle, and most of the people here want to wait around until help arrives. Which you and I both know is total bullshit. There’s no help, and even if there is how are they going to know we’re in here? We need to get out of here. Make it to a refugee center or whatever they have set-up. There has to be something!” The last sentence is louder than the others, but the second it’s out his body relaxes under me.

I scoot closer and his arms tighten around me, causing a tingling sensation to move through my body. “We’ll make it work,” I say, closing my eyes. “If some people want to stay, that’s their choice, but I won’t go down like this. I’d rather die fighting hiding like this.”

“Me too.” Riley’s chin rubs against my head when he nods.

Why do I suddenly feel so much hope? Until this morning, I’d accepted that this was the end for me, but now…Things feel different. Again.

eyelids flutter open and when I shift the coarse hair on Riley’s chest tickles my nose. His breathing is heavy and the room is darker, but I recognize my old English class instantly. We’re still on the desk, although how we fell asleep on the hard surface is beyond me. Not that my body isn’t paying for it. The muscles in my shoulder feel like they’ve been put through a meat grinder, and my left arm seems to have disappeared. I sit up, and prickles run up my arm as the circulation returns to the limb. I flex my hand to help get the blood flowing.

The room is deathly silent with the exception of Riley’s heavy breathing, and outside the sky has darkened to a dusty rose color. Night is closing in.

“I can’t believe we slept so long,” I mutter, rolling off the desk.

Riley doesn’t move as I gather my clothes, and every time he exhales there’s a soft rattle at the back of his throat that reminds me of cartoon character. I pull my jeans on, then head across the room with my shirt still tucked under my arm. The air coming through the window is chilly. When it brushes over my body, my nipples stiffen until they’re like hard little pebbles. I shiver as I pull out another cigarette and my lighter, but still don’t bother to put my shirt on. I stick the cigarette between my lips, my gaze focused on the ground. My hands move automatically. Pulling out the lighter, flicking once. Twice. Three times. The click echoes through the room and when the flame finally catches, I lift the lighter to my cigarette with shaky hands.

I’m mesmerized by what I’m seeing, but I can’t make myself walk away.

Tremors work their way up my legs and goose bumps immediately follow.

I should move. Do something.

I inhale slowly, pulling smoke into my lungs until they’re so full they’re almost bursting. It all comes out in one swift puff that is sucked outside on the breeze.

Riley stirs behind me, but even when his feet touch the floor I can’t get my body to do anything other than stare out the window and smoke. It’s like I’m stuck on autopilot.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale…

Riley’s hands run down my arms and I jump.

The cigarette falls from my lips as a little yelp pops out of my mouth.

“Hey,” he whispers, moving the hair off my shoulder, his lips brushing against my right ear. “You okay?”

I shake my head but when my lips move, nothing comes out.

Riley’s hands drop away and he steps forward. Every hair on my body stands up.

“What the hell?” he whispers, sounding as shocked as I feel.

He sees her. It’s clear by the way his eyebrows pull together.

Riley’s back stiffens and he takes a step closer.

For some reason that snaps me out of it, and I stumble back. Moving away from the window. Away from what I’ve just seen like that can somehow erase it from being true. But it can’t and my mind must know it, because I can’t take my eyes off her and that hideous floral dress.

“It’s Patty,” I whisper.

Riley shakes his head, but he doesn’t look away from the window. “It can’t be.”

“It is,” I snap, turning. Pulling my shirt on. Searching the room for my shoes as my brain spins in circles.

How the hell did she get out there?

“Shit!” Riley yells so loudly I jump three feet off the ground.

“Shut up!” I hiss, shoving my feet into my shoes. “What if they’re in the building?”

“Shit.” This time, he whispers the word as he rushes across the room, gathering his clothes.

We don’t talk as we get pull ourselves together. What can we say? That we’re fucked? It’s on both our minds because there’s no other way to look at the situation. Patty was locked inside the school with us, but for some reason she’s now outside. Covered in blood. A fucking zombie!

Damn. I’m not sure I’m ready to die.

I’m dressed before Riley, but all I can do is grab my baseball bat and stand by the door with my arms crossed. Trying to figure out what to do. I’m terrified of leaving this room. So scared my heart is pounding harder than a jack hammer and my pits are wet. But I don’t have a choice.

“Thank God we decided to start fucking today,” I mutter, pulling my hair back with my free hand. Twisting it around until it’s out of my face.

“What?” Riley snaps as he heads my way, his brown eyes vicious-looking. Like he’s ready to beat the shit out of someone—or something. Good, because he’s going to have to.

“Nothing,” I say, gripping my bat.

Riley looks toward my bat, then shakes his head. He holds out his hand. “Give me that.”

My fingers tighten on the aluminum. “What? Why?” No way I heard him right.

He rips the bat out of my hands and steps toward the door, pushing me back. “I’m a damn idiot who left my bat downstairs. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

I start to protest but Riley puts his finger against his lips, then his hand moves to the doorknob and I can’t even force a sound out. Let alone a word. My shoulders tense as his fingers curl around the knob, and when he pulls the door open my heart jumps so high it almost chokes me. I hold my breath, straining to hear above the pounding of my heart. Are those moans in the distance? It’s hard to tell.

“Anything?” I whisper.

Riley leans closer as he nods. “I hear something.”

We both pause, and less than five seconds later a moan breaks the silence.

Fear shoots through my veins like an icy blast of wind. It wasn’t close, but it’s clearly in the building and staying here would be both stupid and a death sentence. But where do we go now?

“What’s the plan?” I ask, keeping my voice low.

“We’ve got to get out.”

No shit, Sherlock.

I swallow my sarcasm and clench my hands into fists. If only I had a bat too! “Okay…”

“Just like we talked about, we’re making a break for that SUV. It was fucking stupid of us not to do it earlier.”

I can’t argue with him and I don’t have another plan, so I nod. “Do we look for others, or just run?”

Riley’s eyes snap toward me. He studies my face for a moment, his jaw tightening before he turns back toward the hall. “Run.”

His tone is so final it doesn’t leave room for argument, which is good, because before I could even think of one he’s out the door. Motioning for me to follow.

My whole body tenses when I step into the hall, hurrying after him. I focus on Riley’s broad shoulders while keeping my eyes and ears open for anything threatening. Every scrape of our shoes as we hurry down the empty hall causes me to bite back a gasp, and before we’ve even reached the stairs my bottom lip hurts from biting it so hard.

Riley pauses at the top, motioning for me to do the same. I hold my breath and stand next to him, our arms touching as we listen to the sounds from below. Shuffling feet and moans. A few grunts that sound angry. And something else, but I can’t tell what it is. A strange scratching sound. The unknown noise makes the hair on my scalp prickle.

If only I had a weapon!

Riley licks his lips and nods as he moves his face toward mine. “We’re gonna go down real slow.” The words are barely more than a brush of air against my face. “Pause halfway down to check things out, then move. The front door is only fifteen feet away. Follow me every step of the way. Got it?”

I nod once and so does he, then we’re moving down. Tiptoeing our way toward hell. Fear wraps its fingers around my brain and squeezes so hard it makes me want to scream.

When Riley stops, so do I, following his lead as he kneels. In the distance are a few zombies. Five, to be exact. They don’t seem to notice us, and they’re all gathered around a door. Clawing at it. That must be the scratching sound I heard.

Seeing them is terrifying, but not nearly as much as the carnage in the hall. There’s blood everywhere. Splattered on the wall and smeared across the floor in the direction of the front door. Like someone tried to drag themselves away. No bodies, which makes me wonder where they disappeared to.

“They’re busy,” Riley hisses, drawing my attention away from the blood and back to the zombies. “We move fast, but quiet. Get to the door and hopefully the front isn’t too crowded.”

He doesn’t wait for me to nod, and when he starts moving again I’m so close to his back that people might think we’re glued together. We stay close to the wall, our footsteps as quick and silent as possible.

When we reach the doorway, Riley turns without pausing. I reach out to stop him, but I’m too late, and before I’ve had a chance to do anything he reels back. I rush forward to find a zombie less than a foot in front of Riley. The thing opens his mouth, chomping his yellowing teeth as he reaches out. His hands covered in blood so dried it looks brown. The same brown is cake under his nails.

Riley swings the bat without blinking, and when it makes contact with the dead man’s head a crack echoes through the hall. The thing goes down, but there are more behind him. Riley moves back, pushing me away as he swings. The bat hits another and another as congealed blood and bone and brain matter spray the once white walls. Riley grunts as he swings, his face tensing and turning red. The commotion draws the attention of the zombies down the hall, and they forget the door. Head our way. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I desperately look around, trying to find something I can use as a weapon so I can help him. If I don’t hurry up, we’re going to be in real trouble.

My eyes land on the American flag mounted on a pole beside the door. Before I can register what I’m even doing I dash forward, slipping across the wet floor. Trying not to think about the fact that I’m sliding through blood.

Riley glances my way, his eyes big and round with fear. When he sees what I’m doing, he moves with me, swinging the bat to ward off the dead. The pole is probably six feet long, which will make it difficult for me to lift. There’s no way I’m going to be able to swing that thing, but if we don’t do something, we’re not going to make it.

“Here!” Riley shoves the bat toward me before going for the flag.

I take up where he left off, hitting zombies in the head. Only my whacks aren’t powerful enough, and I have to hit them several times before I can make a dent in their skulls. Riley joins me, swinging the long pole as hard as he can with it’s awkward size as we move down the hall, further away from the exit and closer to the zombies who were just a few minutes ago clawing at the door.

They’re closing in on us, but we keep trying to fight them off. With each slam of my bat against a zombie’s skull, my heart beats harder. Faster. I can’t catch my breath and my whole body is covered in a layer of sweat. Riley is panting at my side, and the moans of the advancing zombies are so loud they echo in my ears.

“There are too many!” Riley yells, and his words have so much impact on me that it feels like I’ve been hit by sledge hammer.

He’s right, of course.

My eyes fill with tears making it impossible to see, so when I swing my bat I miss the zombie’s head by a mile. The thing lurches forward and I let out a scream as I stumble a few steps, my back slamming into the wall. Riley is next to me in the blink of an eye, and suddenly we find ourselves cornered as half a dozen zombies swarm us.

“Shit!” Riley yells, swinging the pole, only being this close to the wall has made it almost impossible for him to get any good momentum. “I’m sorry! Dammit, I’m so sorry, Kyra.”

My shoulders shake from the sobs that force their way out of me, and when I swing my bat the power behind it probably couldn’t kill a fly. The zombie I hit barely slows in his advance, and I know he only has to take a couple more steps before he’ll have me.