If Only to Forget (7 page)

Riley and I nod at the same time. None of us speaks as we drive back the way we came. It’s eerily dark. No headlights, no lights on billboards or in the distance signaling a town isn’t far off. Nothing but us and the stars in the sky. It makes me feel like the world has disappeared.

A shiver runs through my body.

“You okay?” Riley whispers, glancing at me.

His face is illuminated by the soft green glow of the clock, but he still looks amazing. No wonder I slept with him on my birthday.

“Yeah. It’s just weird. All this nothingness.”

Tori lets out a little grunt that sounds like she agrees, but I keep my eyes on Riley. He grabs my hand again, giving it a quick squeeze as he drives up the on ramp that will take us off the highway and into the unknown. With no lights, it’s impossible to know what lays ahead for us.

“I’m going to drive slowly. Keep an eye out for a place to stop. We’re in the middle of nowhere, so maybe we’ll come across a farm or something. That would be nice.”

I let go of his hand and lean forward, trying to see through the darkness. It feels like an impossible task.

We drive for maybe a mile, Riley moving so slowly it makes me squirm with nervousness. I’m afraid if we run into a horde we’ll be in trouble at this speed. As if they can open the doors and pull us out or something, which is probably nuts. They couldn’t open the doors at the school, so there’s no way they could open the car door. Right?

Thankfully, there doesn’t seem to be any zombies around to test out the theory.

“There!” Tori yells.

I jerk my head around to find her pointing out the window behind me, then turn my attention to the dark landscape. It takes a moment for me to spot the shape in the distance, but when I do my heart rate picks up. It’s set a good distance from the road, so it’s hard to tell, but it looks like it’s a decent size. In front of it are fields that look like they may have been for horses or some other kind of animal, and behind that there looks to be a couple barns.

Riley turns down the driveway, keeping his speed slow. I’m sure he’s doing it for a reason, but it’s making me so jumpy I feel like screaming. I want to get there and find out if this place is safe.

Instead of parking in front of the house, Riley pulls to a stop at the side of the house, next to a small shed. It won’t conceal the car totally, but it may mask it from anyone driving by. Especially when morning comes.

He throws the car into park and lets out a deep breath as he swipes his hand through his dark hair. “We need to be careful. There could be zombies, but there could also be people who are willing to kill us to defend their house,” he glances my way, “or worse.”

A shudder moves through my body. Sounds like he may have been a zombie fiction fan too.

None of us says a thing as we climb out, Riley and Jim holding the bats while Tori and I walk behind them. The house is totally dark, not even the soft glow of flashlights in any of the windows. And it’s so silent I’m pretty sure we’d be able to hear the wings of a butterfly. Rocks poke into the bottoms of my feet, making me wince with every step. But the pain is nothing compared to the fear inside me.

We’re halfway to the house when I realize we could have searched the car or shed for a weapon. That was dumb. I need to be smarter than this. Think like one of my characters. Plan ahead and always be prepared.

The men stop outside the door and Riley presses his face against the glass so he can look in. I hold my breath. In the distance, something like a moan breaks through the quiet night, and even though it’s far away, fear prickles over my skin. Tori whimpers.

“Looks empty,” Riley whispers. In the quiet, it seems louder than a scream.

“Let’s go in!” Tori hisses.

Riley reaches for the doorknob, but I grab his arm. “Wait! Knock first.”

Everyone turns to look at me, and even though it’s dark I can picture the looks of disbelief they must wear.

“Are you serious?” Tori says. “You want us to announce our arrival?”

“If there are people inside and we walk into their house in the middle of the night, they could kill us. If it’s a zombie, knocking will draw it out so we’re not surprised later on.”

“Damn.” Riley raps his knuckles against the door three times. “Good point.”

I hold my breath and wait. None of us says a word. After a minute, Riley knocks again, this time louder. A far-off moan answers the sound. I take a step closer to Riley, hoping his warmth will make me stronger. It doesn’t seem to work because I’m still shaking.

When nothing happens, Riley grabs the doorknob a second time. “Better just go in or we’ll be standing out here forever.”

The knob turns and he slowly eases open the door. I listen for noises as we all walk in. My heart is pounding so hard though, I’m not sure if I’d even be able to hear it. The old wood floors creak under our feet, and in the distance is the rhythmic sound of a clock ticking. It reminds me of the grandfather clock my mom and dad had in their dining room. The one that had belonged to my grandma. Other than that though, the place is quiet.

Jim shuts the door behind us and Riley lets out a deep breath.

“Let’s check out the downstairs and once we know that’s clear, Jim and I will check upstairs. See if anyone is home. Maybe sleeping. I don’t want to freak them out, but we can’t let them wake up in the morning to find us sleeping in their living room.”

“Good Lord, they’d probably shoot us in our sleep,” Tori mutters.

We move through the house slowly, constantly bumping into tables and chairs and couches that are impossible to see in the darkness. My thigh slams into the corner of some piece of furniture, and I suck in a deep breath. I’m going to have a bruise there for sure.

The floor groans with every step, and it sounds louder than a gunshot in the silent house. Downstairs, we get through two living areas, what seems to be a small office, a dining room and a kitchen with no sign of life. Or the living dead. A good sign, but it’s the middle of the night and Riley’s right. The homeowners could be sleeping.

“We’re going up,” Riley says in a loud whisper. “While we’re gone, search the drawers for matches or flashlights. There has to be some candles laying around somewhere. It’s even possible an old place like this will have a wood burning fireplace.”

He and Jim head out of the kitchen, but Riley stops after only a few steps. He doesn’t turn back to face us when he says, “If you hear gunshots, get out. Hide in the yard and wait. If we don’t come out, leave.”

As he and Jim leave the kitchen, my stomach drops to the ground with the realization that we may not see them again. Not only that, but every time one of us leaves a room from here on out, it could be the last time anyone sees us. It isn’t a good feeling.

A drawer opens on the other side of the room, and when the contents rattle around it brings me back to the present. We need light, and then food and water.

I make my way across the kitchen with my hands out in front of me, feeling my way through the darkness. When my fingers brush against something solid, I run my hand over the surface. It isn’t flat, and I feel the cold metal of the burners. It’s probably a gas stove. This is an old place and the stove has the feeling of something not up-to-date. It’s possible they still use matches to light the burners, and logic tells me they might keep a box of them nearby. I feel my way over the stove to the wall, then run my hand to the side. When my fingers against brush the cardboard box, I almost let out a shout of victory.

“Matches,” I say, picking up the box. 

I open it slowly in case I’m holding it upside down and get lucky. Nothing falls out. When I have a little wooden stick between my fingers, I shut the box. A spark crackles in the darkness when I strike the match against the side, but it doesn’t catch. I try it a second time, and a flame sizzles to life.

“Quick!” Tori says. “Pan it around.”

I hold it out and move it through the air to light up the room as best as I can. It’s just bright enough to show me the counter, but only a little at a time. I move it to the side as the flame burns down the stick. The heat kisses my fingertips and I know I only have a few more seconds. I catch sight of a fat candle sitting next to the sink. The flame bites at my skin and the match falls from my hand. I curse under my breath.

“Hold on,” I say, pulling a second one out. “I saw a candle.”

Footsteps pound against the ceiling above our heads, but they’re slow. Sounds like nothing much is really happening up there, which is a good sign.

I slide the second match against the box, and it lights up on the first try. Immediately, I head for the candle I saw, using the match in my hand to light it. The flame doesn’t illuminate much, but it’s better than it was.

I pull it across the counter to where Tori stands. “This will help. Hopefully we can find a couple more candles and maybe a flashlight or two.”

Tori nods as she looks around, then heads across the room. “If this were my house, I’d keep a flashlight here.”

I pull open the drawer in front of me as Tori digs through a cabinet built into wall. I’m not finding anything but kitchen utensils and Ziploc bags. 

“Bingo,” Tori says.

A light flicks on behind me, illuminating the room, and I almost laugh. Damn, I miss electricity, but a flashlight is better than nothing.

Tori sets the flashlight down. “Let’s look for something to eat.”

The footsteps of Riley and Jim are still audible, but nothing has really changed. They’re slow and easy, consistent. The sound of them doesn’t make my heart beat faster, so I suppose that’s a good sign. And I really am hungry. At the moment, it feels like my stomach is trying to eat itself.

“Okay,” I mumble as I open the nearest cabinet. There’s nothing in it but bowls and casserole dishes, so I move to the next. This one has spices, but still no food.

“Pantry,” Tori says.

I turn to find her standing in front of an open closet. When I catch sight of the boxes and cans of food my stomach growls so loudly it causes Tori to arch an eyebrow at me. The beam of the flashlight glints off the metal in her eyebrows.

Tori and I are busy going through the pantry, which is loaded down with nonperishable items, when Riley and Jim walk into the kitchen behind us. The beam of a second flashlight shines across the room.

“All clear upstairs,” Riley says.

Something thumps against the counter, and I turn just as Jim sets a box of shells next to a shotgun. My stomach twists uncomfortably, and it has nothing to do with hunger. Seeing the gun brings reality screaming back. We are in the middle of a crisis, and we need weapons. Badly.

“I’m beat,” Riley says with a yawn. “Let’s get some food in our stomachs, lock the place up and get some sleep. Jim offered to take first watch down here.”

and I find ourselves in the master bedroom. It’s small, and most of the space is taken up by a large canopy bed that’s way too frilly for a farmer. I’m so tired my muscles hurt, and even in the faint glow of the candles we carried up, the exhaustion in Riley’s eyes is clear. He looks like he can hardly stand.

“Is it safe to get undressed?” I ask as I pull down the sheets. “I hate sleeping in clothes, but with everything that’s going on…”

The idea of waking up to a crisis and not being dressed makes me feel like I’m going to hurl.

“I think we’re okay. We didn’t see any of them once we got off the highway, and even on the interstate it was only a few stragglers. I think as long as we’re not in a town, we should be safe.” Riley pulls his shirt over his head as he talks. “But what do I know? It’s not like I’ve ever been in a zombie apocalypse before.”

I snort. “It’s a first for me as well.”

Even though it makes me uneasy, I drop my pants and pull my shirt off. My underwear follows, but that’s mainly because they feel so grimy that I’m tired of wearing them. I washed them in the sink at the school, but it didn’t help much. Tomorrow I’ll go through the dressers. Even granny panties would be better at this point.

Riley crawls under the covers wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, not even seeming to notice I’m naked. I swear his eyes are half-closed already. The rest of us dozed in the car, but he drove, so I can’t blame him. Even with my little nap, I’m exhausted. Emotionally and physically. My body feels like I’m underwater as I lean forward to blow out the candle, and the second we’re plunged into darkness, it seems at add to the feeling. Like Pavlov’s dogs, my body craves sleep as soon as the lights are out.

I slide in next to Riley, pulling the scratchy lace comforter up to my chin. It may be rough fabric, but sleeping in a bed for the first time in days is like being in heaven on a fluffy, white cloud. We were using the gym mats at the school.

“Goodnight.” Riley’s voice is muffled with sleep.

I scoot closer, until my back is pressed up against his side. His body heat is comforting. “Night.”

Riley’s hand runs down my side to my hip. “Are you naked?” he asks, sounding much more awake than he did a second ago.

“Of course. I told you I don’t like wearing clothes to bed.”

Riley groans and turns his body toward me. The thick length of his dick presses against my ass, only semi-hard but on the way to being at full mast. “Damn. I was almost asleep but this…”

His lips brush against my shoulder as he moves his hand down my thigh, circling it around the front. I part my legs when heat moves through me. He traces his fingers along the inside of my leg, tickling the skin as he moves up. His lips press against my bare shoulder, and when he bites me softly, I gasp.

Desire throbs between my legs. I scoot closer to his hand, which hasn’t ceased in its incessant caressing of my tender flesh. Riley fingers brush my moist lips, and he groans. He pushes me onto my back and is on his knees in a second, spreading my thighs. His mouth covers my nipple, sucking on it, causing me to cry out. My back arches off the bed as I run my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to my breast. Needing the pleasure to help erase the horror of the last few hours.

His fingers find my moisture and press inside. First one, pumping in and out of me so quickly I can’t wrap my head around the speed. A second one joins the first, then his thumb rubs against my clit. My body sizzles with heat, all of it aimed at that small bundle of nerves between my thighs. He pumps his fingers harder, and flicks his tongue against my nipple while pinching the other. Then his thumb brushes my clit again I come undone, crying out as my body convulses around his digits, squeezing them.

“Riley,” I gasp when his teeth bite down on my nipple. I’m still writhing in ecstasy, but I’m not ready for it to be over. I need more.

He groans and pulls his hand away as he positions himself between my thighs. His hands grab my hips, and his hardness brushes against me. I prepare myself for another rough entrance, but to my surprise he eases himself in slowly, groaning with every inch that slides inside me. Allowing me to savor him as he fills me up.

By the time he’s all the way in, we’re both panting in anticipation. Riley doesn’t move, though. His hands travel up my stomach and over my breasts, then down my arms. He grips my wrists in each hand, pulling my arms above my head. He holds them there, pinning me down as he slowly eases out. I’ve never been held down before, but there’s something so hot about submitting to another person. About being at his mercy.

Instead of sliding into me slowly, he thrusts his hips forward fast. I cry out at the impact, but it isn’t painful, at least not in a bad way. Then he does it again, and the whole bed moves, slamming against the wall. Again he does it, over and over, picking up speed. Holding my wrists so tight I’m sure I’ll have bruises, but it only adds to the incredible sensation of being owned.

I can tell when he gets close, because he releases my wrists and grips my hips again, lowering his body toward mine. His thrusts are just as deep, but he doesn’t pull out as much. His grunts come faster, mixing with my own moans and the slamming of the bed against the wall.

“In or out,” he grunts.

I can’t catch my breath, and I don’t know what to say. I gasp, trying to get the words out, but I can’t. Riley moves faster, his fingers dig into my hips. Then he convulses above me, slamming himself into me one last time as he comes inside me.

He’s breathing heavy when he rolls off me. Even though moisture leaks out of me and I know it’s going to mean I’ll be sleeping in a wet spot, I don’t get up. I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his damp chest. My hair sticks to my face and the back of my neck, and no matter how hard I try to brush it aside I can’t get it all. Like it’s been glued to my skin.

“Sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come in you.”

“I thought we already discussed that?”

He lets out a deep breath, and it sounds tired once again. “We did, but that was when we thought we’d never make it out of the school. Now we have…”

Shit. He’s right, of course. I hadn’t thought about it, but now that we may make it a little longer, thinking about protection might be a good thing.

“We should get some condoms,” I say.

Riley yawns and I think he nods, but he never answers. Literally seconds later his breathing is heavier. How the hell did he do that?

Even though I’m tired, I lay awake. It’s hard to sleep with the world gone to shit like this, but I should try. I know I should. Maybe being with Riley will keep the dreams away. We slept on that desk in my old English class, and I didn’t have any dreams. Maybe he’ll help me forget in sleep just like he does during the day.

Maybe…

The mattress shifts, causing the bed to groan. I crack one eye and instantly regret it. The sun shining through the windows is so bright you’d think the house was built on the surface of the sun. I pull the covers over my face.

“Why is it so bright?”

“No blinds on the windows,” Riley says. “Probably a farmer thing. They get up pretty early.”

He’s moving around the room and I peek out to see what he’s doing. His pants are on, and as I watch he pulls his shirt over his head. His dark hair is messy from sleep, but he looks a lot more rested than he did yesterday. He heads for the door, grabbing the bat that’s leaning against the wall.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“To check on Jim and Tori. He was supposed to wake me up so I could take a turn standing guard.”

Shit. Did something happen to them while we slept?

I bolt up and the blankets fall away. Despite Riley’s tense expression, his eyes move over my bare breasts. He doesn’t stop, though, and he’s out the door before I’ve even made it out of bed.

I pull my pants on and hurry to the door, yanking my shirt over my head as I go. Riley’s footsteps creak against the stairs on his way down and my heart pounds so hard it thumps against my ribs. But I don’t make it far before Tori’s soft laughter breaks the silence. Thank God. I jog down the stairs, catching up with Riley, and we walk into the kitchen at the same time.

Jim and Tori stand in the middle of the kitchen, cooking. I blink, trying to figure out how since I know there’s no electricity and no gas, but it still takes a moment for it to sink in. They have a camping stove set up on the counter, and on it sits a skillet and a metal coffee pot. It all looks pretty old, but I’m not going to complain.

“You were supposed to wake me,” Riley says, letting out a deep sigh has he sets the bat down.

“No big deal.” Jim shrugs as he flips the sizzling sausage patties. “I don’t need a lot of sleep and you were up for a while. I can nap later.”

“Is that sausage?” I ask, licking my lips. Last night all I got was some dry cereal, and the smell of cooking meat makes my mouth water.

“Found it in the freezer,” Jim answers.

Tori picks up the coffee pot and carries it to the other counter where a couple mugs are lined up. “Looks like the electricity hasn’t been out for long here, because most of the stuff in there is still good. Assuming we can use it in the next day or two.”

“Or get a generator,” Jim adds.

Riley leans against the counter and tilts his head toward the stove. “Where’d the camping stove come from?”

“We found a storage closet under the stairs.” Tori pours coffee into a mug, then hands it to Riley. “They have a ton of camping stuff. It’s probably from the nineties, but it will be useful.”

“Only there isn’t much propane left for this stove.” Jim scoops the sausage patties out of the skillet and plops them onto a plate. “We’ll have to see if we can find more somewhere. I think if we went through this place we’d be surprised at what we could find that would be useful. These were simple people who didn’t have a lot of the more modern technology the rest of the world had come to depend on. No computer or wifi here, no iPads. It may be beneficial to us.”

Tori hands me a mug and I inhale the rich scent of the coffee. This was one thing the school did not have.

“We found a cellar lined with jars,” Tori says. “Seems they canned their own food. I’d also be willing to bet they have chickens and other animals out in the barn.”

“Looks like we got off at the right exit,” Riley says.

He takes a sip of his coffee, then presses his lips together like he’s thinking something through. Maybe making a mental list of the things we need. I know I am.

“We only found the one gun last night, but now that the sun is up we should look for more. There’s a good chance this man was a hunter. It’s possible he has some hunting gear too.”