If Only to Forget (8 page)

Jim turns, holding a plate piled high with sausage. “Let’s go on out to the dining room. There’s something I’d like to run by you.”

We move out, and even though I have no reason to be worried, my stomach clenches from the uncertainty. Is he thinking of not going down to the Keys? I think it would be a bad decision. We aren’t that secluded here and this farm won’t provide us with much protection. Sure, there are fences around it, but they won’t last forever and they won’t stop people from wandering through. I don’t like it.

We all sit around the table, and even though my stomach is uneasy I take the sausage Jim offers me. It’s greasy and hot, but tastes delicious when I bite into it. I almost moan in pleasure.

“What’s on your mind?” Riley says, ignoring the sausage.

Jim pushes the plate into the middle of the table and scratches at his beard. “I was thinking it would be a good idea to hang out here for a bit.” Riley frowns, but Jim raises his hand. “Just a few days. We could gather supplies and take our time loading up. Maybe find a trailer to pull since the SUV has a hitch. We’ll gather some cans of gas so we don’t have to stop and siphon along the way, and hopefully make it to the Keys without stopping. Except to pee, that is.”

Riley’s still frowning, but he nods. “Might not be a bad idea. I think we should limit it to two days, though. The longer we wait the more desperate people are likely to get, which means we could run into trouble.”

“Very true.” Jim nods a few times and picks up a sausage. He takes a bite and chews slowly. I have feeling he’s just thinking things through.

“I found a phone book and I think I figured out where we are,” Tori says. “If I’m right, there’s a town not too far. It seems small, but there’s still a Wal-Mart and a couple drug stores. Even a small hardware store.”

“No place to find guns? A place to buy hunting or fishing gear, something like that?” I asks hopefully.

“Not that I could find.” Tori shakes her head.

Damn.

“We can check surrounding houses,” Jim says. “Bound to be something.”

We spend the day planning. Going through every closet, drawer, and cabinet in the house. Filling boxes—thankfully these people seemed to have had some hoarding tendencies and there are tons of them in the basement—with jars of green beans, beats, peaches, corn, several different kinds of beans as well as some homemade pickles. To name a few. Whether they were preparing for the apocalypse or just had more vegetables than they knew what to do with is hard to say, but it works out for us.

Before afternoon is out, we have such a big pile of stuff by the front door that there’s no way we’d ever be able to fit it in the SUV. We have to find a trailer.

“They could have one, you know.” Riley wipes his sweaty brow and lets out a deep breath. Despite the good night’s sleep in the master bedroom, he looks exhausted again. “Who knows what’s in that barn.”

“You have a good point.” Jim scratches at his beard again and I find myself wondering if he’s not used to it. Did he have it when we arrived at the school that first day? I can’t remember. “I’d like to take a look at the well too. I have a feeling that if I could get my hands on a generator in town tomorrow, I could get the water running. I wouldn’t want to waste too much power on it, but if we could just keep it on long enough for each of us to get clean it would be helpful.”

I’m all for the idea, and Tori seems to be too because she grabs Jim’s hand and gives it a squeeze while she beams up at him.

“Well, no time like the present then,” Riley says, stretching. “Let’s get another solid hour of work in before we have dinner, then once the sun goes down we can plan for tomorrow. Make a list of what we need to do and what supplies we need to look for.”

“I’ll have to decline,” I say, wiggling my toes as I point at my feet. “No shoes, remember?”

The woman who lived in this house had insanely small feet, which is no help to me and my size nines.

Riley plants a kiss on the side of my head then moves to the door. “We’ll be back.”

“I’ll go through the office since we haven’t done that yet.”

The others head out, and I move into the office. It’s a small room that’s insanely cluttered with papers and books, most of which will be useless. But still, I pack a few boxes with some of the classics that line the shelves. Books I’d always meant to read but never gotten around to, like
Of Mine and Men
,
Jan Eyre
,
The Count of Monte Cristo
, and
Treasure Island
, along with a handful of my favorites. Someone in this house loved the classics. Other than that, the office is a dead end, so I carry the box back out to the living room and set it on top of the others.

I catch sight of a picture and stop to pick it up. It was probably taken in the seventies and the couple is young. Smiling. She wears a simple white dress and the man has on a pair of black pants with a white shirt, as well as a tie with a hideous paisley pattern on it. They’re standing in front of a building that can’t even be called a church really, more like a chapel, and the woman holds a bunch of wild flowers in her hands. They look like something that could have been picked from a field on the way to the church that morning.

They look thrilled to be starting their new life, like the world is full of promise and there’s nothing in their future but happiness. Little did they know. Little did any of us know.

Footsteps walk into the room at my back, and I set the picture down. I know it’s Riley without having to look. Tori’s footsteps are softer, and Jim has a quiet way of entering a room that goes with his laid-back personality.

“The owners,” I say. “I wonder what happened to them.”

Riley crosses the room behind me. “Maybe they were in town when the virus hit. Or on vacation. It’s hard to say.”

“It’s strange how this thing spread. How some of us were infected simply by the airborne virus while others of us weren’t. Do you think this thing was made that way, or that there’s some kind of flaw in it?”

“I’m not sure I’m smart enough to even take a guess,” he says, stopping right behind me. The heat from his body warms my back.

He’s probably right. I know I’m not.

I lean my head back and when it rests against his chest, he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. It’s incredible how safe his embrace makes me feel.

“Kyra, I know when we started this thing it was only—”

“So we can forget,” I say, not wanting him to be able to get another word out. “We’re only doing this to forget.”

He stiffens behind me, but a second later he relaxes. “Yeah.”

He knows the truth. That I’m lying. Lying to him, lying to myself.

I turn and my mouth finds his. The kiss is slower than before. Softer.

He pulls me against him and his hands move down my back, and just like that, heat returns to my body. The pain inside me is like a dull ache, and all I can think about is how it feels to have Riley soothe the pain.

“Where are Tori and Jim?” I ask against his lips.

He pulls back, grinning down at me. “I left them outside, but based on the expression on Tori’s face, I’d say we have a few minutes.”

I laugh as I undo my pants. “Lord, it seems like there are only two things any of us can think about. Gathering supplies and fucking.”

I wiggle out of my pants as Riley unzips his. “That’s because there’s nothing else to do.”

He has a point.

We don’t have a lot of time, so we leave our shirts on, but it doesn’t stop riley from pulling mine up so he can suck my nipple into his mouth. He hoists me up so I’m sitting on the dining room table, and as soon as I’m there his mouth goes back to mine. His fingers move between my legs. Teasing me until I’m squirming against his hands.

“God,” I say, gasping. “Just fuck me already.”

Riley grins as he positions himself between my legs, and when he pushes into me the whole table shakes. I dig my nails into his shoulders and hold on as he picks up the pace. We don’t have a lot of time.

“Just make it fast,” I say, hitching one leg around his hips.

Riley nods and grabs my hips, pounding into me faster. I close my eyes and work at blocking everything else out as his body rocks against mine.

For the first time, it doesn’t seem to be working.

cook chicken on the grill for dinner. The breasts we were able to find in the freezer are still slightly frozen in the middle, and the family has a charcoal grill with plenty of extra charcoal. We even find a jar of what looks like homemade barbeque sauce. This woman made everything herself. If only she were around to show us how to do it all.

As the sun sets, I sit on the back porch while Riley cooks. The sizzle of juice dripping off the chicken and onto the hot coals is one of the only sounds, and it strikes me how eerily quiet everything is. The lack of lights was what bugged me before, but now it’s the silence. No cars or airplanes or even a train in the distance to signal that there are other people around.

I shiver and wrap my arms around myself.

“You okay?” Riley asks.

“Yeah. It’s just…so quiet. It’s creepy.”

Riley nods and pierces a piece of chicken, inspecting it to see if it’s done. He flips it over one more time.

“I hear you. It really hit me how much has changed when we went out to the barn earlier. Talking about the animals with Jim and if we’d be able to transport them to the Keys with us, and how we’ll take care of them. I don’t know the first thing about chickens or goats, and neither does he. It’s not like we can look it up on the internet anymore. I feel lost just thinking about moving ahead and having to adjust to no technology.”

“Damn.” I pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them. Like if I can hug my body close enough I’ll be able to protect myself from reality. “We’re going to have to learn fast, aren’t we?”

“If we want to survive this, yes. We have all the supplies here and we’ll get more tomorrow when Jim and I go into town, and with the trailer we found back by the barn we should be able to haul a lot of stuff with us. But it won’t last forever, and we’re going to have to work hard to keep ahead of it all.”

“Yeah…”

We go silent as Riley finishes cooking.

Once the food is done, the four of us gather in the dining room to eat. We have the chicken and some corn on the cob we found in the freezer, as well as the last little bit of bread in the house. It could be the last bread we have for a very long time. I don’t know how to make it and I doubt Tori does either, and without an oven I’m even more lost. Soon, all the bread in the stores will be moldy…

The future looks bleaker with every passing hour.

“So tomorrow Riley and I will head into town and see what supplies we can load up on,” Jim says between bites of corn. He sounds more like he’s thinking out loud than talking to the rest of us. “Water and weapons are going to be our priority at the moment, but we’re going to grab anything we think might be useful. Antibiotics, first aid stuff, extra shoes for all of us. Any survival gear we can find will be helpful down the road.”

“When do we head for the Keys?” Tori asks.

“If we can get everything loaded and ready to go, the day after tomorrow. I think I figured out how to take a few chickens, but the goats…” Jim shakes his head sadly. “Unless we get a second car and pull a second trailer, I just don’t see how we can do it.”

“We could do that, you know,” Riley says, pointing his corn on the cob at Jim.

“It would mean using twice as much gas,” I say.

“But it would also mean having more storage and taking more supplies.”

Jim chews slowly, nodding as he thinks it through. “We could, although I don’t love the idea of us being in two cars. I think staying together in a situation like this is better.”

“But we’ll be following each other,” Tori says. “As long as we keep the other car in sight, it should be fine. Right?”

Jim nods again. “If we find another vehicle, then we can give it a shot.”

After dinner, Tori and Jim head upstairs to get some rest. Despite Jim’s assertion that he could nap during the day, he didn’t. He has to be beat.

I stay downstairs with Riley. The sun has gone down, so we light as many candles as we can and put them around the living room. They don’t give off much light though, and every corner is blanketed in shadows. If Riley weren’t with me, I’d be totally creeped out.

We sit on the couch together, sharing a thick blanket. The air is chillier than it was the night before, and all I can think about is winter and how rough it would be if we stayed up north. I hate the cold anyway, but I can’t imagine living where there’s lots of snow when we won’t have any heat to keep us warm.

“How far is it to Key West?” I whisper, even though there’s no real reason to keep my voice down.

“Ten hours during normal driving conditions, but who knows what we’re going to run into out there. Could be blocked highways, or dangerous people. Hordes of zombies. It’s hard to say.”

I swallow and Riley’s arm tightens around my shoulders. “It will be okay.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“I know. But the important thing will be to keep calm and stick to the plan.”

“Yeah.”

We lapse back into silence and after a few seconds my eyelids start to get heavy. I know I should stay awake and keep Riley company, but no matter what I do my eyes refuse to stay open.

I wake when Riley shifts next to me.

“Sorry,” he whispers, moving me so he can stand up. “I want take a look around. Make sure it’s all still clear.”

I nod and snuggle into the couch, barely awake enough to register what he’s saying. This old dusty couch is ugly, but surprisingly comfy.

“Shit.”

Riley’s curse jerks me awake, and I try to jump to my feet. My legs get twisted in the blanket and I tumble off the couch, landing on my hands and knees. I kick until the blanket falls away, making it possible for me to stand. Then I hurry out of the room.

Riley’s by the front door, looking out the window. I stop when I’m by his side, my heart pounding forcefully in my chest.

“What is it?” I hiss, trying to get a look. He’s taking up most of the space though, so I can’t get a good look.

“Not sure if it’s a person or a zombie, but there’s someone out there.”

He steps aside, giving me a chance to look out, and I peer through the glass. It takes a moment for my eyes to focus through the darkness, but once they do I catch sight of what he’s talking about. There’s a figure wondering down the driveway, but it’s still pretty far away. It isn’t moving fast, so my guess is it’s a zombie.

Riley lets out a deep sigh. “It wasn’t here a few minutes ago. I got up to pee and make sure everything was still okay, and the yard was clear. I walked around to the back and checked it out, then went outside so I could pee behind a bush. When I came back I just had this weird feeling, so I took another look. There it was.”

“What do you want to do? Wake up Jim?”

He shakes his head. “Not yet, but I don’t want to rush out either. If it’s a person and they’re armed, they could shoot us. I was thinking I’d just wait until it got closer. See who or what it is before I make a move.”

“Sounds like a good idea. Maybe go out through the back and circle around the house. Hide in the bushes.”

“Yeah.” Riley nods, then turns to face me. “You stay here, though. I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m out there. If anything looks like it’s going wrong, get Jim.”

I don’t like the idea of him going out there by himself, but he has a point. I can stay here, keep an eye out. Alert Jim if things look bad. One person or one zombie doesn’t necessarily mean there’s going to be a problem.

Doesn’t mean there won’t be, though.

“Okay,” I say. “Be careful out there.”

Riley gives me a half smile, then nudges me with his elbow. “Always.”

He heads toward the kitchen while I move to the window. The figure is closer to the house, but still about halfway down the lane. Whoever it is, their pace is slow, but now that I get a better look I can see that there’s no stagger in its walk. Maybe it’s not a zombie after all.

Movement catches my eye, and I spot Riley darting across the yard. He’s moving fast, keeping low to the ground, and I doubt anyone would be able to see him from the driveway. My body still tenses, and I still feel like I should be out there with him.

Riley creeps along the fence that lines the field, staying as low as possible. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the edge, then he hunkers down.

The figure keeps moving and I don’t take my eyes off it. When it gets closer, I notice how small it really is. A child, maybe?

My body gets more and more tense as the seconds pass. When the figure reaches the point where the fields end and is even with Riley, I grip the window frame. He
has
to be able to see who it is now, but he isn’t moving. Does that mean it isn’t a zombie? It must. If it was a zombie all he’d have to do is step out and stab the thing in the head. But he’s just sitting there!

Riley stands and the figure stops moving. My heart pounds so hard it’s almost painful. I reach for the doorknob when the person turns to face Riley. He steps closer. They seem to be talking, and even though I’m worried that running out may scare whoever this is, I find myself moving. Turning the doorknob. Rushing out into the dark night.

The air is chilly and the ground rough against my bare feet. Riley’s voice is audible, but too quiet for me to be able to make out at first. I move toward him faster.

“So you’re all alone?” he says, the disbelief in his voice ringing louder than the actual words.

“My parents are gone. I came to see if the McMillians were still around.” The voice is soft and feminine. Young. Maybe early teens.

The closer I get, the clearer the girl becomes. She can’t be more than five feet tall, and thin. Her light hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail and it looks filthy. She turns to face me, and her eyes get big, but she doesn’t go for a weapon of any kind. If she has one. I don’t see anything, so she might not.

“Who are you?” she asks, looking back toward Riley, then turning completely to face me. Her eyes move over me, but she doesn’t say anything else.

“I’m Kyra. Are you okay?”

The girl nods, but it isn’t convincing. Her skin looks really pale in the darkness, and I think her eyes are brown. They’re big and full of an innocence that seems out-of-place in this world.

“I’m okay. Tired. Hungry. I walked all the way from the other side of Hickory. It took me all day.”

“Well, let’s get you inside and feed you,” Riley says, heading toward the house. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Sally,” she says quietly.

We head toward the house together, but she doesn’t say anything else. I take a good look at her, trying to size her up. She can’t be more than thirteen, and even for that age she’s small. She’s wearing jeans that are torn and filthy, and a heavy wool sweater. It’s chilly, but not cold enough or that, so I’m not sure why she’s dresses so warm.

“You run into any trouble on the road?” I ask as we reach the porch.

Sally shakes her head. “No. Just a lot of dead people.”

I’m not sure if she’s talking about bodies or
the dead
, but I don’t ask her to elaborate. She’s been through enough and she’s young.

When we get inside, Riley leads Sally to the kitchen, and I follow. I get busy lighting candles and Riley pulls a jar of peaches out of the pantry. Sally’s face lights up when she sees it.

“I love peaches!”