Igniting the Wild Sparks (53 page)

I get my things so I can take out my contacts and get a
quick shower.

I spend most of
the day sitting on Becks’ couch, blankly staring at ESPN on TV, waiting for her to call me or to walk through the door. She’ll have to sometime since she works tomorrow. I doubt she has clothes for work with her and I know she’s just almost out of vacation days from her recent damn excursion.

My phone rings and I
answer it in record time, not even looking to see who it is.

“Becks
?”

“
Not Becks, man. How was the wedding?”

“It was great,” I reply drearily
, not wanting to talk to Ricky, yet do, since he’s the only other person I can talk to about this.

“Did it end up being a double wedding? Are you Mr. Hadley Beckett?” He laughs. “That better not have happened because I will be seriously pissed
I wasn’t there.”

“No, but um, something else happened.” I heavily sigh
and lean forward, putting an elbow on my knee and my forehead into my hand, not looking forward to telling him.

Here we go.

“Oh, no. Did you screw the bride?” He cackles and I wait for him to finish. “That’s going to be awkward at the office Christmas parties.” Ricky again laughs as he continues with his fucking laugh-a-thon, “Please tell me you at least got it on with that one little bridesmaid. Remember, I heard you two
getting to know each other
at your mom’s, so I know she’d play with your pecker.
That
was more awkward than the time you and I fucked those girls—”

“Are you going to shut up?” I impatiently ask.

When he senses my despair, he instantly stops laughing and clears his throat. “Yeah. Sorry. What’s going on? Did you and Hadley talk? Is everything okay now? Has she forgiven you yet?”

Not able to sit still,
I adjust my glasses and sit back. “We talked some. We were great.”

“Were?”

“Yeah. I surprised her at the reception. We danced and I caught the garter and put it on her. Later, we went up to her room.”

“Garter? How high did you put it on her? Did she forgive your brains out?” He laughs again. What the hell did he drink? He’s wound up at the wrong
damn time.

I instinctively smile as I remember Saturday night before I walked the plank. I proclaim to
Ricky, “It was the best sex of my life.” And, by far, the loudest—all the yelling, the loud moaning, heavier-than-normal breathing, our fierce orgasms... I absolutely loved it. Yet, every time with Becks is phenomenal. This time, though, it was so powerful. I can still feel her body and her love pulsating over me.

I just pray to God it
wasn’t
my last time making love to Hadley Beckett.

I swallow and say, “Everything was right with us. We then took a walk down on the beach and she…she proposed to me.”

“She
what
?”

“She got down on her knee with a ring in her hand and asked me to marry her.”
I close my eyes to escape the words, but now my brain replays my refusal in a high definition loop reel.

“Wow!” he exclaims
with genuine happiness, which only lasts for six seconds. He then rightfully discerns, “Whoa. Wait a fucking minute. Holy shit, Wilder… You didn’t…?”

I blandly say, “I was shocked. I can’t believe she did that.”

“Finn, seriously, dude. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her.” I can’t even give Ricky a straight answer, I’m so appalled with myself.

“Man, are you shitting me? You told her no?”

Still unseeing,
I put my head back into my hand. “Yeah. I did.”

“You actually told her
no
?” he disbelievingly repeats. “What the fucking hell?”

“Ricky, I already feel bad enough.”

“Bad?
You
feel bad? How do you think Hadley feels? What did she say?”

“She was upset. She took off from the hotel and I don’t know where she is. I’m at her apartment and she hasn’t been here yet.”

“I hope she’s okay. I’ll make some phone calls.” I hear him moving around. I don’t even know if he’s at work right now.

Rubbing
my forehead, I reluctantly admit, “There’s something else I haven’t told you. You’re right about Cara. She, uh, she kissed me.”

“Oh, fuck. When?”

“Last Friday.”

“Where were you? What did you do?”

“It was at a coffee shop. We were sitting together and she kissed me.”

“
Did you tell her to fuck off?” When I don’t answer, Ricky says, “Fuck. You didn’t kiss her back, did you?”

I
open my eyes and sigh. “Yeah, but it was a reflex.”

“
Shit, Finn! You’re cheating on your Becks?”

“No!” I
adamantly insist, restlessly running my hand over my mouth. “I’m not, but Morgan saw us. She’s basically blackmailing me. She’s giving me a month to either tell Becks about the kiss or to propose to her. If I don’t do either, she’s telling her.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew you’d fucking jump my ass!”

“
You’re damn right I would!” He loudly sighs and mumbles something before he says, “But, I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt Hadley. What are you going to do?”

“I have to tell her.”

“Why don’t you just get engaged?”

“Because
for one thing, I want to be honest with her after everything that happened. Secondly, I’d really have to marry her. And soon. That’s the other part of the deal.”

“Oh. Why can’t you? Come on already, man. You love her. Marry your girl.”

“Ricky,” I moodily protest.

He sighs. “How do you think she’s going to take it, especially since you turned her proposal down?”

“It won’t be good.”

He imparts, “Just to let you know, you’re a fucking dumbass.” Yeah. I’ve heard that before.

I hang my head. “I know I am.”

“You’re going to lose her.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. If I haven’t already.”

He snaps, “Cara’s off the team. I don’t give a fuck what you say, she’s done. I don’t want her around you two
, or even me anymore.”

I nod. “Agreed. I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

“Make sure that’s all you do, Wilder. Fuck, you’re an idiot.”

I can’t even argue with that.

Becks didn’t come home Sunday or call me. I slightly caved by texting Rodwell. He said he hadn’t heard from her, either. He then asked how Saturday went, but I only texted back:
Ok
. I didn’t want to elaborate and he didn’t push for an answer. Morgan still hasn’t called me, so I don’t know if I should take it as a good sign that she doesn’t know about my answer yet. If so, that buys me a little time to talk to Becks. On the other hand, it could be bad. Becks may have told her, and Morgan then blabbed to Becks about the kiss. I have no fucking idea.

By Monday morning, I still haven’t heard from Becks
, having stayed at her apartment until I had to leave this morning. When I got to work, rather than calling Val, I emailed her so I didn’t have to answer her questions on the spot, since I’m assuming she also knew about Becks’ plan after the reception. She responded that Becks left a message saying she’s taking the day off, but she didn’t say why. Val also asked me how Saturday went and again my only reply to that question was:
Ok.

“What’s up?” Cara asks, walking into my office.

Not tearing my eyes from the beige wall in front of my desk, I crabbily retort, “Nothing.”

“You always say that and there’s always something going on. Is it Hadley again?”

I sigh and dismally move my bleak gaze to my keyboard. “Yeah. I don’t know where she is.”

“Did you have a fight?”

“You can say that.”

“Another one? Was it about…?”

I immediately glance up at Cara, giving her a sharp look. Her tits are practically in my face. “No. It was something else.” Suddenly feeling uneasy, I glance away from her. “Um, look. About you on the softball team, I can’t have you around me anymore there. I don’t want her picking up on something.”

“Okay. Can I maybe sometimes come watch the games?” I don’t care what she does.

I shrug. “If you want. I just can’t talk to you around her.”

“I get it. Oh, do you think I can hang out with you for little bit at your place
after work? My roommate gets off work at 8:00 and I locked my keys in my car, so I won’t be able to go anywhere or get into my apartment until she can bring me my spare set.”

“You don’t have anyone else who can pick you up?”

“No. I’m not from around here and all my other friends are working tonight. If you think you’ll be with Hadley tonight, then I’ll just hang around here.”

I sullenly mutter, “I doubt I’ll be with her tonight.” Or for a while.

“By looking at you, I think you might need a friend to help keep your mind busy.”

“Uh, well, I’ll have to let you know. I might have to go to Montrose right after my broadcast and if so, I’m planning on staying the night.”  If Becks will let me. I’ll sleep on the
sofa or in my car if I have to.

“Okay. Just give me a shout when you know.”

I inhale and indifferently say, “Yep.” Cara leaves and I try calling Becks again. Nothing. How long is she going to avoid my damn calls? I can’t even concentrate on work. I’m going fucking crazy.

After my early afternoon meeting, I return to my office and see that Becks called.
Like I’ve been set on fire, I take off for my car so I have some privacy to call her back, nearly knocking over the janitor and a confused mailman in the process.

“Becks! I’ve been calling you for two damn days! Where are you?”

She quietly says, “I’m okay.” I wait for her to say more, but she doesn’t.

“You’re not going to tell me where you are?”

“No. I want to be alone.” I wonder if she’s at her dad’s in Annapolis. Shit. Adam. He hates me now for sure. He’s such a cool guy, too.