In the Name of Love (38 page)

Now she was facing her biggest challenge so far as they were on their way to a stables. She turned along the private road that led there. To either side were fields with horses grazing in them.

‘Okay, Charlie?’ Rosie asked as they pulled into the car park.

‘I’m feeling nervous, but yes, I’m okay,’ Charlie replied honestly.

Rosie smiled. ‘That’s perfectly normal, but you know I’m with you.’

They met up with the owner in the office-cum-tack-room at the front of the yard. Miranda was a cheery woman in her late-forties, dressed in black jodhpurs and a red tee-shirt. Charlie knew the type – someone who lived for their horses and to ride – knew it because she used to be something like that herself. Miranda had been briefed on why Charlie was visiting and she already knew Rosie as her daughter kept a horse at livery here. They chatted for a few minutes about the glorious weather and Charlie’s TV work – Miranda asked if she would sign an autograph for her teenage son. Part of Charlie wished that they could stay here making small talk. But then Rosie looked at her and asked, ‘Are you ready?’

Charlie nodded. The nerves were increasing now, and she was hyper-conscious of the smell of leather from the saddles and bridles neatly stored in the room, but she had been consciously practising the relaxation breathing technique that Rosie had taught her. It was
now
or never, she felt, as they followed Miranda into the yard.

This place was nothing like as grand as Felipe’s equestrian centre; it was more like the stables where Charlie used to keep Ace: clean but a little shabby, though the stable doors were freshly painted in pale green. Charlie imagined that all Miranda’s spare money went into the horses.

Several of them stuck their heads over the stable doors as the three women approached. Without hesitating Charlie went up to the first one – a handsome bay with a narrow white stripe running down the middle of his face.

‘That’s Basil,’ Miranda told her.

Charlie reached out and tentatively patted him on the neck. He felt reassuringly solid to her touch. He was alive and vital. She stroked his pale pink nose; she had forgotten how velvet-soft the skin was there. She realised that she felt fine. No, more than fine, she felt good. The plan had been to see a horse at close hand, but now she felt she wanted to push herself further.

She turned to Miranda. ‘Is there any chance that I could have a ride?’

If she could do this, then maybe she could make it to the Olympics and see Felipe. She had hardly dared let herself consider this might actually be possible … even though it was what she longed to do. She saw Miranda look over at Rosie for her approval. She nodded.

‘Come on then,’ Miranda said briskly. ‘Help me get him tacked up.’

Charlie’s hands were shaking slightly as she fastened the girth on the saddle, but she didn’t falter. She put her foot in the stirrup and swung herself up into the saddle. Her Converse sneakers and white skinny jeans didn’t make for ideal riding attire, but they would have to do. For a second she felt giddy being so far from the ground, uncertain that she could go through with this. Briefly she touched the love heart necklace she always wore now, as if to draw strength from it, then she gathered the reins and gently pressed her heels against Basil to get him to walk on. Miranda opened the gate to the paddock with the well-trodden circular track in the field beyond.

‘Just walk him round to start off with, Charlie,’ Miranda told her, taking up position in the middle of the circle. ‘Get the feel of riding again. You’re doing great.’

Charlie was acutely aware of the powerful horse beneath her, the creak of the saddle, the feel of the reins rubbing against her hands. She rode twice at walking pace round the circle and then, at Miranda’s command, urged Basil into a trot. From there it was easy to progress to a smooth canter. She could feel Basil raring to go faster. In the past she had loved that feeling; it was like sitting on a rocket charged with sheer energy, and then she couldn’t wait to take off into a furious gallop. Now she felt a stab of anxiety that she wouldn’t be able to stop him, that he would be too strong for her, that he’d jump over the fence and end up on the road … But she controlled her fears and easily reined Basil in; there was nothing to be afraid of.

‘Okay, when you’re ready, bring him back down to a walk,’ Miranda called out.

By the time she rode Basil back into the yard Charlie was feeling exhilarated. In less than a week she would see Felipe again.

Chapter 27

THE ATMOSPHERE IN
the Olympic arena in Greenwich Park was electric. The stands were packed with thousands of spectators all buzzing with excitement to be there for the thrilling finale of the Olympic eventing competition – the show jumping. It was the most awe inspiring location, within the majestic beauty of Greenwich Park with a view of central London and the docklands skyline shimmering in the distance through the heat haze.

Charlie was sitting some five rows from the front, next to Rosie and her daughter Millie, a horse-mad fourteen-year-old who wanted to be an event rider herself and had kept up a detailed running commentary on how every rider was doing. Charlie was grateful for Millie’s non-stop chatter as she was possibly more nervous than she had ever been in her entire life – nervous for Felipe competing, and nervous that he wouldn’t want her after everything that had happened. True to her word, she hadn’t contacted him directly, she didn’t want do
anything
that might distract him from his Olympic goal, but it had been the hardest thing she had ever done and there were many, many times when she had nearly caved in and picked up the phone, longing to speak to him.

‘The German Jonas Wulf is up next,’ Millie said cheerfully. ‘He’s one to watch. He hardly had any penalty points in the dressage and he did fantastically at the cross-country too. And then the last rider is Felipe.’ She looked across at Charlie and grinned. Rosie had told her something of Charlie’s relationship with Felipe and Millie thought it was the most wildly romantic thing she had ever heard, nearly as romantic as Edward and Bella in
Twilight
, as she had told Charlie several times.

Charlie’s heart skipped several beats. Just knowing that Felipe was nearby made her feel faint with longing. She wondered what was going through his mind right now as he prepared for the ride of his life. She knew that he would have walked the course first thing this morning, trying to determine which were the hardest jumps and how many strides he should allow Valiente to take before tackling each of them. And he would have been obsessively watching the other competitors, too, to see how they handled the course.

At the enclosure at the back of the arena, Felipe heard the roar of the crowd as Jonas Wulf completed his round with just four faults. It was a very impressive score and he was going to be hard to beat. Valiente was raring to go, keen as his rider to show what he could
do
in the ring. Daria, who had been his rock during the Olympics and in all the training, was standing by Valiente’s noble head and giving him one last pat for luck. She caught Felipe’s eye and smiled. ‘You can do it.’

Yes, Felipe felt that he could. It had been the toughest time of his life, especially these past two weeks when he had been in London. Even with his focus on the Games, he couldn’t help thinking of Charlie, wondering where she was, how she was, whether she ever thought of him … His mother had told him that she had split up with the footballer and, while he had pretended that the news meant nothing to him, inside he was filled with longing for her.

Then he heard his name being called out. He was cantering into the ring, and there he emptied his mind of everything except the daunting task before him.

Charlie held her breath as Valiente’s fetlock rapped against the bar of the final jump, and the loud noise on the metal seemed to ring out in the hushed arena. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, captivated by the sheer brilliance of Felipe’s riding. If it didn’t fall Felipe would have a clear round. The bar stayed where it was.

‘A clear round! He’ll get silver!’ Millie whooped, leaping out of her seat with excitement, to be joined by Charlie and Rosie. Charlie had tears in her eyes. She was so proud of Felipe for his incredible achievement, and so thrilled that she had been able to watch him compete. She longed to go to him, to throw her
arms
around him and tell him that she loved him, tell him why she had broken off their relationship. But she knew it would be impossible to get anywhere close because of the incredibly tight security. She hadn’t even told him that she was going to be here. However agonising the wait, she would have to be patient, for just a little longer. And she also knew that she might find he didn’t want her any more.

The crowd were whipped up into a frenzy as GB had taken the gold, but Charlie only had eyes for one rider. Felipe rode Valiente into the ring and then dismounted along with the other medallists and handed Valiente’s reins to Daria while he stepped on to the podium. Charlie was waving and cheering for all she was worth. She willed Felipe to notice her but he was looking up at the crowd and didn’t see her. She felt a sharp pang of disappointment – she wanted him to know that she had been here for him. But beside her Rosie, to Charlie’s total astonishment, unfurled a poster of a huge red love heart, inside which was written:
Charlie loves you!
She saw Felipe notice the flash of red, pause to take in the message and then his eyes locked on hers. Would he still want her? Felipe looked as if he couldn’t believe the evidence of his own eyes, but then he smiled and placed his hands on his heart and held them out to her. Charlie repeated the gesture back to him.

Outside the arena Millie took Charlie’s hand. ‘Come on, we’ll get to the riders’ enclosure this way.’ She purposefully wove and dodged her way through the
crowds.
But at the entrance there were six security guards and only people with accreditation were allowed in.

‘But we have to see Felipe Castillo de Rivas!’ Millie said urgently, when a burly guard told them that without the right documents they weren’t getting any further, adding, ‘Yeah, you and most of the women here apparently. He’s got quite a following, that one.’

‘It’s okay,’ Charlie told Millie, ‘I’ll text him.’ Even as she said it, she thought how ridiculously trite it sounded. She wanted to push past the security guards, who all looked as if they had been eating too many take-outs, and find her lover! Nonetheless she scrabbled through her bag to find her phone.

‘O.M.G! You don’t need to bother. He’s here!’ Millie exclaimed excitedly. Charlie looked up. Felipe was standing in front of her, still in his riding gear. Everything and everyone else seemed to recede into the distance as they stared at each other.

‘You are the last person I expected to see here,’ he said.

Charlie’s heart was hammering in her chest as she replied, ‘I’ve been having therapy, and it worked. I couldn’t see you again until I knew that it would.’

‘I thought you didn’t want me any more?’

Charlie shook her head. ‘I wanted you so much.’

‘So the message was true?’

‘Yes. I love you,’ she told him, gazing into his brown eyes, willing him to believe her. ‘I always have.’

He reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. ‘I love you too.’ And then, to the delight of the onlookers, they kissed, oblivious to the phones being whipped out as people took pictures of them.

Four hours later

Charlie was lying in Felipe’s arms after the most amazing make-up sex. If he was shattered after competing in the Olympics, it was safe to say that it hadn’t shown. She lifted her head and kissed him, feeling that she couldn’t get enough of him but unable to resist teasing him. ‘I know you’ve just won a silver, but that was a gold performance.’

‘Well, we’ve got all that lost time to make up for!’ he replied, then glanced across at the clock on the bedside table. ‘I guess I should get back for the press conference.’

She couldn’t bear to think of being separated from him again so soon. As if sensing that, he added, ‘You’re coming with me. And I think I’ve just got time to see if I can improve on that performance. You know what a perfectionist I am.’ And he started kissing her once again.

Six months later … Barbados

‘Wake up, sleepy head, it’s time to get up!’

Charlie opened her eyes and saw that Felipe was already dressed. She was still feeling jet lagged and wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, preferably with him beside her.

‘Come back to bed,’ she pleaded. ‘What’s the rush?’

‘I’ve arranged to meet the others – we should get going.’ They had come away with Zoe and Nathan, Luis and Mariana and their adorable baby girl, Pia. Kris and Darcy had been going to come but Kris had an audition that he couldn’t miss and so they pulled
out.
If you had asked Charlie a year ago if she could ever possibly imagine going on holiday with Darcy, she would have thought the question was insane, but the two women had become good friends. Darcy had been the one to find out that the poison pen writer had been one of the former sound engineers at the channel, who had haboured a grudge against several presenters when he was sacked. Her relationship with Kris had not been the short-lived affair Charlie had once predicted. The couple were now living together. And what’s more, Darcy’s family had accepted Kris – especially after Drew had been arrested for fraud involving pension funds. He was awaiting trial and likely to be sent down for considerably longer than the five months Kris had served for a one-off mistake.

‘I thought this was supposed to be a holiday,’ Charlie grumbled. ‘You’re ruining my erotic fantasy.’ She grinned and stretched her arms up above her head, deliberately kicking off the sheets with her feet to show off her naked body. ‘I had this wonderful dream that I made love with this handsome man in the morning. He was so sexy and so hard for me …’

She had Felipe’s full attention now. ‘What did this man look like?’ He sat down on the bed.

‘I didn’t really see his face,’ Charlie said cheekily. ‘Only his gorgeous body.’ She slipped her hands under Felipe’s tee-shirt and caressed his smooth skin. ‘Yep, his abs were like yours. But I really need to see everything before I can say whether it was you or not.’ She undid the buttons on his shorts. ‘And I mean
everything
.’