Indestructible Desire (16 page)

I froze in the doorway, as I stood there witnessing my father, the great Victor Knox who put on the act of being the doting husband, and dedicated father at my football games. As he was piling driving my fiancée…right there on his desk. Right beside the many pictures of myself, my mother and sister. All I saw was red. I had just buried my sister, and now discovered my girlfriend was fuckin’ my father.

Without even thinking, I charged in and beat him to a bloody pulp. My mother was completely shattered, and beyond mortified. We still had guests in our home that came to pay their respects to our family. The worst day of our lives, had in an instant became even more horrifying then we ever could’ve imagined.”

Savannah let out a small gasp and covered her mouth with her hands. Ripping my gaze from the cars zipping by below, I focused them on her. On the tears streamed down her face. Seeing her hurting for me makes my heart skip a beat. Talking about all of this has been more than I can handle, but I‘m happy I finally did. Sliding my hands into my hair, I swallow hard, trying to wet my now dry mouth.

Savannah’s known my relationship with my father is strained but we still have to see each other for work, and fundraisers. Him living in Nashville now makes it easier, compared to when they lived in Texas still.

It’s hard enough having to see him with Luanne, but now Savannah knowing she was the woman I almost married. I’m afraid she won’t be able to handle knowing she’s in my life still. I don’t want her to think for even a second I still love Lulu, because I don’t. I lost any bit of love I had for her that day.
My entire heart, mind, body and soul belong completely to the gorgeous blonde sitting beside me.

“Luanne? Your father’s fiancée…your future step mother! Is the woman that you were planning on spending the rest of your life with?” Savannah blurts out, her voice shaky as she attempts to hold back the shock and anger in her voice.

“Yes.” Is all I could say at the moment. I feel raw, exposed and broken as I lay everything out before her. Revealing all of my painful memories from my past; memories I swore I was never going to relive ever again. But because I love Savannah with every fiber of my being, I put it all out there. Showing her my demons, in hopes that I can finally move on, removing the shackles that were imprisoning me to my painful past.

“Wow. I cannot believe you never told me Kayden! I assumed it was some random girl from high school that you hadn’t seen in six years. I’ve spent an entire evening with her at Melody’s fundraiser. I made small talk with that woman, and talked with your father. Thinking whatever was going on between you two, would maybe be fixable. But this…this is just insane! How does a father do this to his son?”

“I’ve asked myself the same fuckin’ question over the years. The guy I looked up to and wanted to be like, betrayed me in the worst way possible. All he says about the matter, is
you can’t control who you fall in love with
.” I spit out between clenched teeth. I have so much anger coursing through my body. I need to do something to get out the anger boiling in my blood. I think a long intense workout is needed after this session.

Dr. Wilcott spent the next thirty minutes of our session, talking about ways to move past my pent up anger. Suggesting I meet with my father and Luanne, with soul purpose of getting everything out that I’m feeling. She said once I do that, it’ll be easier for me to find closure, and maybe repair my relationship with my dad. Only thing is, I don’t know if I can do that, or if I even want to repair our relationship.

She said she wants me to continue joining Savannah for the next two weeks that she’s scheduled to see her. Dr. Wilcott thinks that talking with her and opening up more to Savannah about my past, and guilt I have about her kidnapping will help with my nightmares. And help us build a strong foundation for our relationship.

I plan on proposing to Savannah soon. Ever since her kidnapping and accident, having the hospital tell me I’m not family. Almost not being able to be by her side, it almost killed me. I want to spend the rest of my life loving her, and protecting her. I need to work on healing myself, so I can help her heal. Then we can have our happily ever after, filled with blue, and greened eyed kids running around Sugarland. Just thinking about our future together, is settling a calm over me. Saying goodbye, slipping our appointment card into my pocket for Wednesday, we say goodbye to Dr. Wilcott. 

***

Chapter Fourteen

***

Kayden

Standing on the sidewalk outside of Dr. Wilcotts office, I pull Savannah into a tight embrace and kiss her passionately. Slowly slipping my tongue into her mouth caressing it against hers. I love the feeling of her arms wrapped around me, and her mouth against mine. I’m the luckiest man on the damn planet, because she loves me. Unconditionally, whole heartedly…Savannah Livingston loves me. Even with all of my faults, and jaded past she loves me no less.

I could care less that there’re people all around, the only thing on my mind right now is her. It feels great having no secrets left between us. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Now we can take the step to help piece each other back together.

“What was that for?” Savannah asks. Letting out a nervous laugh as she eyes a group of teenagers making cat calls at us, as they make their way into the café next door.

Smiling momentarily at the group of boys, I give them a friendly wave and turn my attention back to my gorgeous girlfriend. “That was for being you, baby. For loving me, and taking a chance on a man with a darkened soul. Each day that I have you in my life, I feel that darkness seeping away, and a light slowly beginning to brighten it.”

***

Savannah

My brain’s on over load right now, as I process everything Kayden told me yesterday. Now I gotta try and focus to get this work done. It’s my first day back to work, and I can’t for the life of me focus on my list of to do’s Eloise sent me. To top it off my parents fly in today. They’ll be staying in Galveston for a few days before they get back on the road for the next leg of their tour.

Kayden seemed like he needed some space, and I know I did to process everything he revealed. So after our session yesterday I came back here and he went to Knox Hotel to work out, shower and then head to the office to get some work done. I spent the rest of the afternoon yesterday with Brooklyn, filling her in on everything that Kayden revealed.

She couldn’t believe it and said she new it had to have been something major for him and his father to go six years without speaking. We both can’t believe something that big didn’t get out to the press. I guess money can keep people quiet. I can’t even begin to fathom the pain Kayden went through. He goes from losing his sister, to discovering his father was having an affair with his girlfriend all in a matter of a few days.

In an attempt to distract me, Brooklyn called Mya and planned a girl’s day for us today. We’re all going to meet up at the country club for brunch and tennis. She said we’ll be playing doubles, me and Brooklyn against her and her friend Kylee, who’s in town for the week visiting family.

Today will be the first time I’ve done any kind of sports activity since my accident three weeks ago. Of course, it won’t be an all girls afternoon for us, because I’ll have Jerome and Alec coming along with us. I pray the police finally catch Zak. Then I can move on with my life, and not be afraid that he’s lurking around every corner. Just waiting to attack, and shatter whatever life I’ve pieced back together.

Typing the last line in the article I’m writing for Envy’s March issue. I close my laptop, and head upstairs to get ready. After showering, and putting on my new white and pink Nike racer back tank, and white pleated skirt. Slipping on my white Nike tennis sneakers, I head downstairs to grab a racket from Kayden’s collection. All my stuff is still in Galveston. I miss my beach house, but still to scared to go back there.

With my water bottle and racket in hand, I bounce down the stairs to find Brooklyn leaning against the wall chipping off her nail polish. “You do know that’s what they make nail polish remover for, you ding bat.” I laugh.

“Ha, ha. Yes I do know that, Queen Savannah.” Rolling her eyes she playfully shoves me towards the door. “Its about time your bossy little ass got down here, I was ready to go up there and drag you out to the car myself.”

“Sorry, some of us have to work for a living.” I say sticking my tongue out at her as we make our way to Jerome, and Alec waiting for us beside Kayden’s black Audi Q7.

“Your boyfriend is a billionaire Savannah; you’re far from having to
work for a living.”
Brooklyn says dramatically with air quotes.

Sliding across the back seat, I stare at Brooklyn with my mind agape. “I will make my own money, even if we down the road get married Brooklyn.”

Tipping her head back letting out a throaty laugh, she looks at me like I have five heads. “Chill out girly! I’m just yankin’ your chain!”

An hour later, we finally pulled up outside of the country club. With its rolling green hills of the golf course, and golf carts everywhere. You’d never know you’re at one of the largest cities in the United States. Getting out, Jerome opens the car door for Brooklyn and I. Barley getting my feet planted onto the ground, I’m mauled by an overly excited Mya.

Her black hair is smoothed back in a tight pony tail. She looks like she just stepped off a runway of tennis fashion with a white and baby blue polo tank top, and baby blue pleated skirt. Her white shoes are blinged out with rhinestone detailing on the sides with the baby phat kitty logo.

Within seconds a petite blonde makes her way over to us. She’s about the same height as me, and stunning. When I asked Kayden if he knew her, he said she was married to his old college buddy Ryder Kent. But they now live in San Diego, California. Their family still resides here in Houston, and she usually flies into the Hobby a few times a year, to visit them along with their daughter Evelyn. He said Ryder doesn’t speak to his parents, so hasn’t been back to Texas in years.

Kayden told me him and Ryder became good friends in College, because Ryder was the quarterback when he first started playing football at The University of Texas. He mentored Kayden, teaching him everything he knows. After Ryder and Braxton got drafted into the NFL, they kept in touch, but after his career ending injury, he moved away to San Diego.

Kayden says they still try to keep in touch with Facebook, and facetime, just with his busy schedule it‘s hard. He should really make an effort to fly to San Diego and visit. He mentioned if he ever gets married Ryder will be a groomsman. Hearing Kayden mention marriage, instantly made my mind move into over drive. I can’t wait for the day I can say I’m Mrs. Kayden Knox.

After a quick introduction, we make our way towards the tennis courts. It’s a warm sunny day for being the last week of January. I was apprehensive about playing today, afraid I’d hurt my ribs. But I’m actually pretty shocked at how great I feel. I took two aspirins before we left, just in case, but I feel actually really good. I’m hoping in the next few weeks to get back to my kick boxing class.

“Oh my Gawd, I’m so outta shape!” I saw gasping for air, as we make our way inside the country club’s restaurant.

Bursting into a fit of laughter, Mya looks me up and down. “Girl seeing you right now, I’d think you just ran a triathlon, instead of playing tennis for an hour.”

“Laugh it up; once I am back in shape, I’m going to redeem myself!”

Brooklyn stepping up beside me bumps me with her hip. “We definitely need to redeem ourselves, because we looked pathetic out there.”

After being seated, Mya starts digging in her purse, eyeing us all at the table. “Will ya’ll stop staring at me.” She laughs setting her purse back onto the floor. “I’m trying to get my surprise out without ya’ll seein’ it!”

Leaning in closer to Mya, Kylee tries to sneak a peak at whatever Mya has hidden in her hand. “A surprise, spill it girlfriend! Whatcha got hidden in that pretty little manicured hand of yours?”

After momentarily hiding her hands underneath the white linen table cloth, Mya waves her hand around in the air. Practically blinding us all with the massive rock on her left ring finger. “Mhm, he liked it, so he put a ring on ladies!” She shouts, with her excitement bubbling out of her.