Jagger: A Caldwell Brothers Novel (15 page)

What is it about this man that lights my body on fire? I feel like a needy little nymph. I
am
a needy little nymph. Livi says she is the same way with Hendrix. This whole can’t-get-enough-of-his-touch, the feeling, it’s more than sex; it’s a connection. It’s more than release; it’s passion. It’s more than physical; it’s emotional. What I have is Jagger Caldwell, and that is everything.

We are in the shower at home—our home. Jagger wants to go to dinner at the bar. I smile. My first real date. After watching television on a regular basis and the books I have read, I definitely did things out of order. I am happy, though. I am beyond happy, so who cares about tradition and order?

We get out after making out, barely forcing ourselves out of the shower to get ready. I tie the light-green ribbon in my hair. After all these months, it is fraying, but I don’t care. Then I walk into our bedroom to see Jagger dressed in faded jeans and a T-shirt that fits him perfectly across his broad chest.

I am naked.

“Tatiana,” he growls.

I twist the ribbon in my fingers. Untying it, I remove it and hold each end in my hands before I go to him and swing the ribbon over his head, pulling him to me. Rather than kiss him like he expects, I suck hard on his lip as I back up to the bed, pulling him by the ribbon around his neck.

When my legs find the edge of the bed, I bend my knees and fall backward, keeping Jagger with me. He catches himself with his arms to keep his weight off me, but I tug harder on the ribbon, needing him over me. From top to toe, I want him connected to me, covering me.

“I love you, Jagger Caldwell,” I whisper against his lips. “Everything good.”

He growls and takes me into a deep kiss, and our tongues dance as my need grows.

Sliding my legs from under him, I wrap them around his waist. The denim rubbing against my exposed flesh, the rough material brings my skin to life. Every movement has me wanton and more than ready.

He removes the ribbon from his neck and pushes back to stand. My legs slide down to behind his thighs as he stands over me, taking off his shirt and sliding off his jeans, freeing himself.

Reaching out, he ties my hands with the ribbon loosely, letting me know I can get free if I want to. Then he pushes my hands over my head.

“Keep them there. Eyes to me,” he orders, and I am more than eager to comply.

His fingertips tickle the underpart of my arms as he trails down my sides, his thumbs circling my nipples before his hands roam my ribs. His eyes never leave mine, and the depth in them only grows deeper and darker the more he touches me.

I smile up at him. “Good touch.”

After rolling the condom on his impressive length, he crosses my ankles and rests them over the curve of his butt. He then runs a finger through my lips, sliding my own moisture and need over me.

Slowly, gently, he slides into me, and I arch up, seeking more, needing more, but his hands squeeze my thighs, stopping me. He is standing tall, proud, while I wiggle, trying to gain more friction. He smirks, which only makes me hotter with need.

“Harder, Jagger.” I need him. I need to feel him. I want to know with every step I take that he has been there…He is mine.

Still slow and gentle, he slides out and slides in, stilling inside me. His eyes never leave mine.

I shake my head as I try to fight for more.

“Eyes to me, Totty.”

I do as I am told. There is something erotic in staring eye to eye with the man I love while he is joined with me from the inside. It also makes me feel vulnerable. In this moment, he can see right through me.

I take a moment while he is statue-still, watching me, waiting for something. I search his eyes, the dark depths, trying to go where they take me. As I move my gaze momentarily to the knight’s helmet tattooed on his chest, then back to his, he doesn’t move. My body is full, deliciously full as I contract around him with my inner walls, and he only stares.

It is then that I see into the man. He is more than the knight who saved me. He is more than the brother who loves fiercely. He is more than the fighter who trains and makes a living. He is Jagger Caldwell. He is the legacy of good in my world of bad.

He is mine.

When I bite my bottom lip and twist the ribbon ends in my fingers, he nods his head as if he knows I get it. Then I kick my heel into his back, trying to make him move, and he laughs.

“I love you, Jagger Caldwell.”

He slides out, and my body comes alive as he slowly slides back in. “I love you, Tatiana Rand.”

“Mine,” I whisper, tapping my heel into his butt again.

He smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen and brings it home. Eye to eye, never moving from my gaze, he thrusts in and out of me. The pace is fast as he rolls his hips, making him hit a spot inside of me that has me closing my eyes. I see the emotions shared between us building me up even more.

I pull on the ribbon, the ribbon that started it all. This was my first connection to Jagger Caldwell, and now I have the man himself forever.

“Harder,” I plead, and he gives it to me, pounding away. I feel his balls slap me as he goes deep.

The emotions, the vulnerability, the noises, the feeling of him inside me, and the knowledge that he has given me good in every aspect of my life have my heart swelling and my orgasm building.

Fingers slide down my thighs, parting my lips as his thumb circles my clit. My eclipse rushes through me, and I clamp around him like a vice. He keeps his pace until the rhythm isn’t steady, and then he slides in and out one more time before he stills deep inside me, groaning his own release.

Afterward, he leans down and kisses me softly. “I love you, Totty.”

I try to catch my breath, but in all the sensations, I can only find the energy to nod.

He smiles and pulls out of me.

While he goes to the bathroom to clean up, I go to the closet to get dressed. It is my first date.
A girl should make sure to dress nicely,
I think excitedly as I go over the outfits hanging up.

After finding the dress to match my ribbon, I exit the closet to find Jagger staring at me. His hands are on his hips and a smile on his lips.

“Green never looked so good, baby.”

“Is it your favorite color?”

“Now it is.”

“Then why always a green ribbon?” I ask, now curious. I always assumed it was his favorite color.

“Momma had HPV, and that is the awareness ribbon color. I wanted a little piece of Momma with you.”

Without stopping, I run over and jump in his arms. He gave me a piece of the woman who gave him everything before I even knew what he was giving me.

I kiss him passionately, wanting more.

“A man’s gotta eat, babe. I want you, but we both need to eat dinner.”

“You’ll be my dessert, though, right?” I ask with a wink.

“You’ll be mine,” he growls, kissing me again.

The bar is steady as we make our way inside. I look up and see a railing around the perimeter, then I see the stairs that lead up and wonder where it goes. The rest of the space looks like any other bar I have seen on television except Hendrix has a garage door that opens, and since the weather is nice, he has it up tonight, so it seems to draw more attention from the street.

Jagger gently tugs my hand after we go inside to sit us at a table by the bar. Jagger and I give our orders for prime rib to the waitress. I think her name is Sally.

A man at the bar turns on his stool and looks to Jagger. Raising his glass at us, he tips it back and drinks. “And another one bites the dust.”

“Jared, stop that. You know we Caldwell women make everything better around here, Tatiana included.” Hailey smiles at the man.

“Sure hope she can tell a joke better than you.”

I look to Jagger and then to Hailey, confused.

Jagger laughs. “This is Jared. He’s one of the regulars.”

“Hey, he’s family,” Hailey pipes in.

“Damn right I am. I’m like the handsome uncle. They get their looks from me,” Jared says, smiling.

“Beer goggles on again tonight, hey, Jared?” Jagger mocks.

Jared laughs. “See? He’s a funny one. Hailey here needs help.”

“Jared was the officiant for both my brothers’ weddings. He usually only likes people who can tell a good joke, but Hailey can’t tell jokes to save her life, and somehow, she still won him over.”

“He performed the weddings for both of your brothers?” I ask in a whisper, Jared watching me.

He raises his glass again. “Don’t knock it till you try it. I can give you the best damn ceremony of your life.”

“Well, considering we only plan to do it once, it would have to be the best, now wouldn’t it?” Jagger retorts.

Jared looks to me and winks. “See? Their momma raised them right.” He turns back to Hailey and finishes his drink.

“She sure did,” I say, smiling at Jagger.

We eat and hang out for a while, and when the end of the night comes, Jagger and I help clean up and close down. Jagger takes out the trash on our way out, and as he lifts the bag, something cuts his finger. He looks to his hand, and I take it in mine as a thought hits me about what he said about taking my virginity.

“Jagger,” I say, watching him carefully. “I may not have your blood, but I have your heart.”

“Yeah, Totty, you do.” He smiles.

I lick his finger. The copper taste isn’t good, but it’s certainly not as bad as I thought it would be.

“Now I have both.”

“Makin’ me hard,” he states, and I look to his pants.

“Then take me home, and we can do something about that.” I wink, biting his fingertip before releasing him.

He tugs on the green ribbon in my hair. “You were fuckin’ made for me.”

I train the kid I call Buck, a tall, lanky fucker. Some of the female clientele seem to think he’s good-looking. I have no clue what women think is appealing, don’t really give a shit, either. I have my girl. Buck’s young and thinks he knows it all. He is also full of something few could understand unless they have been there.

Vengeance.

I don’t have to ask him how he grew up. I know there was probably a feeling of no control in his environment. His father or mother seized all power and preyed on the weaker ones in the home.

When I correct him, he seems pissed. He needs to be right because he never was before. I could go twenty rounds with him, and he wouldn’t give up. He’s angry when I show him I am stronger, but if I didn’t, he would end up dead.

He shows up at 7:59 a.m. without fail. He needs the structure, so I give it to him. He needs to hit something, blow off steam, take his anger and aggression out on something. He is quick and strong, and so full of anger.

He is me without the good parts I learned from Momma.

I see Totty walking in out of the corner of my eye. She has a class of ten women, most of them from the Nest. They don’t pay a membership because she doesn’t need the cash. Well, not yet, anyway. My girl can spend some cash. Money means nothing to her, but you leave a towel on the floor, and she’s in stealth mode, hanging that shit up.

I laugh to myself, and then I get hit hard with a right.

Fucker!

I sweep his legs, and he goes down. Then he pops up, red-eyed and angry.

“Go do some stairs, Buck,” I say, walking away.

“Because I got you?” he mocks me.

“No, because you ended up on your ass when you thought it was cool to sucker punch me. Hit the fucking stairs.”

“But—” he whines.

I pull up the rope and climb out. “But nothing. Stairs.” I point to the machine.

He doesn’t move, his jaw set.

“Now.”

He narrows his eyes and takes his own damn time taking off the gloves. Shit head.

I watch little one teaching the same old shit, over and over. She has heart. She has drive. She believes it will become instinctive to use the moves if ever attacked. I sure as hell hope so.

In my experience, you either aim to injure or kill, or you take a beating. But I’m a man. I am proud of what she is doing, of who she’s becoming, and that the more we train together, the more her reactions pick up. She’s getting stronger on the inside and out. She’s got little muscles and shit, it’s hot.

Kid walks over and hands me a water bottle. “Cobra’s guys are squawking on the street, calling you a pussy.”

“That’s ’cause he wants my girl’s pussy and thinks he’ll get it if I lose. Stupid fuck has no idea”—I take a drink—“that she is as much mine as I am hers, no idea he’s gonna lose. I’m in better shape and stronger now than ever.”

“I think you owe that to young Buck.” He smirks.

I smirk back. “Maybe.”

“There’s a lot of money out there to be made. Lots of the big spenders want in on the action.” I keep watching Totty as he speaks. “You can’t just hide away with the belt, man. Where’s the sport in that?”

He walks away, and I let it settle in.

He’s right. Where’s the sport in that? Not only that, but I want another piece of the motherfucker who thought taking a life would gain him admiration from someone who is mine. It’s time that motherfucker realizes it.

I walk over as Kid holds the bag for another one of our new guys. He looks over at me.

“Set it up,” I tell him and then go join Buck on the step machines to burn off some of my own fucking rage.

Game time. Fight night. After a week of pushing the limits and training harder than I ever have before, the time is here. The bell rings, bringing me to life. I have my brothers and my girl watching, and I have an opponent who thinks he’s got something to prove, something to take from me, something he can’t fucking have—Tatiana Rand.

I watch how he openly takes her in, and that’s what lands him on his ass in one hit.

I pin him, then hit him again. “She’s mine. You got that?”

“You took my girl when I lost my temper one fucking time! You took the girl I loved. Now I’m gonna catch the mouse, and you’ll see how it feels.”

“No woman deserves to be beat on! I didn’t take her, stupid fuck. You need to let that shit go.” I hit him again. “She came to me. That shit was over long ago. My girl isn’t a game.” I land two more punches and see his lip bust open.

He pushes me off. I could have stopped him, but motherfucker wants to play cat and mouse. I will show him a thing or two.

“You took the girl I could have loved, who chose to love a womanizing fucker like you. She would have loved me had you not wanted what was mine.”

I hit him again. This time he pops up on two feet. Perfect. I jump up, too, beckoning him with both hands. He isn’t looking at me, though. He’s looking past me.

“Eyes on the champ,” I say to provoke him, wanting a fucking fight that’s actually entertaining.

“You took two women and my title when I was the one who protected the mouse, not you—”

I fly at him and hit him: one left, one right, and an uppercut. He falls back and hits the ground hard. Then he gives me a smirk, and I see him look past me again.

I look back to find he’s looking at Tatiana. I turn back, ready to strike, but he catches my hand.

“She’ll never love someone like you. She is sickened by you.” I lay out the truth for him.

When I glance back, she isn’t even watching, so I leave the fight and walk over to her. The ref starts talking shit, but I don’t care.

“Tell me you are okay with this, with me fighting,” I beg her.

She looks down.

“Tell me, damn it!” I lift her chin, seeing tears immediately starting to flow. I am too high on the rush and have to remind myself to use control.

I kiss her hard. “I love you, little one. Always will. Tell me this is not okay, and I walk.”

She doesn’t answer.

I can’t stand it. I need to know. Fuck, I need her.

Then it becomes clear—I need her, just her.

As I pull her against me and kiss her again, she doesn’t fight the kisses, but she sure as fuck won’t answer me or give me those eyes of hers.

The bell rings, and the ref really begins flipping his shit.

I pull her close, kissing her again, and then I turn to Kid. “Give me my belt.”

He looks at me funny, but he hands it to me.

I walk into the ring and toss it down at Cobra’s feet. “Not fucking worth it.”

“You fucking pussy, Caldwell!” he yells.

I hear Totty scream, “No!” right before I feel a hard jab to the side of my head from behind.

It rocks me hard. I fall to my knees, and he is on me.

The fucker is relentless. He is growling, almost foaming at the mouth, and at first I’ll be damned if I throw a punch. The blow comes to my ribs, then my head, then my ribs again. Pain radiates, but that isn’t what I feel. I feel need, raw, pure need for the woman I love. He pounds away. Then I can’t take it anymore.

I dig deep, plant my feet, throw him off me, and stand. When he bounces up and comes at me again, I sweep his feet, and he falls. He falls hard and is out for the count.

I am grabbing my shit when the ref comes over with the belt. “This is yours, Caldwell.”

“No, man, it’s his. He can have the fucking thing. I don’t need it.” I look at my brothers and Tatiana. “There are some things more important than a fucking win—one is family.”

I grab Tatiana’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze, and she squeezes my hand in return. Acceptance.