Jagger: A Caldwell Brothers Novel (17 page)

Really, I never imagined my life could go from having no one to having a family, a
real
extended family.

I am going to be a Caldwell! I am going to be part of a family, one I love. We girls, my sisters and I along with my soon-to-be niece, have spent countless hours finding the cutest, most cost-effective DIY wedding favors, decorations, and even accessories.

As I’m putting away my laptop after another fun time with the girls, there is a knock at the door. I don’t think as I open it, expecting it to be Livi needing to pee. However, the person standing in front of me is not Olivia Caldwell.

“Jason,” I say as the shock wears off.

He smiles. “Mouse.”

I step back out of habit and realize that was the wrong move when he takes the gesture as his invitation to enter our home, my home with Jagger.

“You know, we were friends once,” he begins, and I am not sure if he is referring to him and me or him and Jagger. I swallow hard. “Me and Caldwell,” he clarifies. “A long time ago, I came to train with Shaw, but I wasn’t on the up and up about who I was, so I got sent packin’. Your man is big on honesty.”

Fear builds up in me. “Why are you telling me this? Why are you here?”

“Caldwell, he’s good. I hate that fact, but he is. Missy ran to him, ran right to him every fucking time.”

“What do you mean
every time
?” He steps toward me and I hold my hand up.

“She brings out a rage in me. You know, like your old man. She wouldn’t stop nagging, wouldn’t stop pushing me. I snapped. I’m ashamed to say more than once. She ran to him, but she always came back. We made up, and then she would compare me to him and set me off again. Where did she run again? Right to Caldwell. Why couldn’t she run to me? Why couldn’t
you
run to me?”

“You’re my friend. We’re just friends. I don’t see you like that.” My voice cracks. “You scare me, Jason.”

He steps back. “See? Honesty. You don’t push the limits. You know what I did for you. You know you are my redemption. I made you safe, not Caldwell.”

He reaches out, and I use my forearm to block. Shifting my weight naturally, I prepare to defend myself.

“I could lose everything. All for you, and yet, you run to him. I risked it all for you.”

He is calm, way too calm. “I didn’t ask you for anything.”

“I saw the marks. I saw the interest Jagger had in you, always the savior. It was me this time, Mouse.
I
saved you.”

I shake my head. What is he saying? This can’t be.

“He was drunk. It was fast, and it was easy. I kept you from your future with him.”

“Why would I leave a past like that to a future of the same?” I yell at him. Now I’m angry.

His eyes grow wide at my statement.

“You said you lose control. Whether you mean to or not, you are dangerous.” I fight to remain strong. He will not break me. No matter how scared I get, I will not cower in the corner. Jagger gave me this.

“I am,” he whispers, and I prepare, sensing the change in him. “You know what they say…You’re a product of your upbringing. Caldwell is no better than me. Sure, I grew up with the silver spoon, while he grew up in the slums, but we are cut from the same mold: two young boys with fathers who wanted to make men out of us, teaching us lessons in life one blow at a time. Jagger will snap one day. What then, Mouse? At least with me, you know what you get.” He taunts and I see red.

Rage hits me square in the gut. “How dare you! Jagger will not snap. He is not his father’s son. He’s his mother’s legacy. He takes care of me and loves me. He would die before he brought me sadness or harm.

“You rid the world of a monster, but that doesn’t protect me. I was on my way out, anyway. Get your head on straight, Cobra. Stop looking to strike first and just learn to control the beast within. Not everything is a fight. Love shouldn’t hurt. When you find the right girl, she will push you, push you to be better.”

He eyes me, studying me. “You make Caldwell better. He gave up the circuit for you. Shaw couldn’t get him to do that. You make him better. You love him?”

“With every ounce of my being.” I stand firm.

“Be happy, little mouse.” With those last words, he leaves.

I let out the breath I was holding, relief filling me as I shut and lock the door behind him. For a moment, I was worried things would get bad.

“I am happy,” I say to the air around me.

Sitting on the couch, I take in everything he said. Mixed emotions take over. He killed my father. That is wrong. That makes him dangerous.

I gasp as tears pool in my eyes. I shouldn’t feel loss, should I? He was here, looking for gratitude. I should be grateful, shouldn’t I?

This isn’t how life should be. This isn’t how friendship should be.

What a cycle: my father kills my mother, accidentally or not; my “friend” kills my father. Who will kill Cobra? If he doesn’t fix his life, something bad will happen.

My father died because of me. Guilt fills me at that thought, and I don’t like the taste it leaves in my mouth. He didn’t deserve to die, did he? Am I thankful to have the escape, though? Yes.

I go back in my mind to the night I left. He could have killed me many times over the years. One more hit to the head, a fall the wrong way, my ribs moving after he broke them, internal damage. There are so many ways over the years I could have ended up just like my mother. Only, I didn’t. Blow after blow, I survived, exactly like Jagger.

Cobra survived his childhood, too. He just can’t see that he needs to be the change. I can’t give him that. He has to choose to break the cycle. I chose the night I left my father. I chose to live free from the fear. I chose to break my cycle, and Cobra has to do it for himself.

I look up when there is a noise at the door to find Jagger coming in, and I wipe the tears from my eyes.

“Totty?”

“Cobra was here,” I answer without thinking.

Jagger rushes over, dropping to his knees in front of me. “I’ll fuckin’—”

“Nothing, Jagger. You’ll do nothing. He came to make sure I am happy. He admitted it, though. No beating around the bush, he did it.”

Jagger kisses my forehead in response.

“He did it for me,” I say solemnly.

“Did he touch you?”

“Yes, but I blocked him.”

“I’ll fuckin’—” He jumps up, and I reach out to stop him.

“Not like that. No, no, no. He tried to touch my face, but I was panicked because I wasn’t expecting him, so I used my forearm to block him like you taught me.” I smile proudly, and Jagger relaxes.

I give him the rundown of what happened with Cobra. Afterward, we are both left wondering what to do next.

“We need to call Johnny. We need to tell him,” Jagger finally says.

Knowing how good-to-the-bone honest he is, I understand.

“I know, but Jagger, I feel like it’s my fault. He will lose any chance to change because he was trying in a twisted way to do something good.”

“There is no good inside him.”

“Maybe not, but he tried.”

Jagger’s face doesn’t hide his frustration with me. “You look at everything so differently.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I ask.

“Yes.” He shakes his head. “No.” He laughs. “You make me look at everything differently.”

“I need closure, Jagger.”

He eyes me.

“I need to know Johnny won’t keep pushing this. In the end, he fell down the stairs. That may or may not have happened without Cobra.”

He puts his hands on his hips. “Totty—”

“Jagger, I want to move on with life—my life with you. I want the past to be the past and leave it behind. None of that needs to be hanging over us as we start our future.”

“Whatever you need, baby.”

I can tell this is hard for him. He has a natural instinct to protect what is his. I am his. I stand and roll up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

“I need good touch. I need my man. I need you,” I whisper against his lips.

“You’ve got me, baby.” He scoops me up and takes me to our room, giving me exactly what I need before he takes me to see Johnny.

It isn’t easy at the station, and Johnny wants to question things further. Jagger already told me he wants us to tell him who we think did it. We decided we want to leave it alone.

“You know me, and you know my family, Johnny. When I say we wanna put this behind us, you know I mean it.”

“Caldwell, I do know you, and I know there is more to this. I also know you know more than you’re telling me,” Johnny presses.

“I need closure. I don’t care who did it, Mr. Adkins. My future isn’t going to be tied to my past. Let this be done so I can move on. Wrongs were done by his hands, you know this. Wrongs don’t need to drag on now that he’s gone,” I plead.

“A drunk took a tumble. It happens all the time,” Jagger says smoothly.

“And you’re a fuckin’ astronaut, Caldwell.” Johnny gives a frustrated smile at Jagger.

Jagger squeezes me closer. “I’m sitting on top of the world, Johnny Law, so yeah, I’m a motherfuckin’ astronaut.”

My brothers and I are standing in the alley beside the bar, not allowed in. The women—our women—a few of our other bar family members, and, of course, Jared are inside setting up.

“You nervous?” Morrison asks.

I shake my head. “Just want to see her, that’s all.”

“Think she’ll try to run?” Hendrix laughs.

“She could try, but I’d catch her, and she knows it.” I tug at the stupid necktie that seems too tight.

“Feeling caged?” Morrison laughs.

“No, motherfucker. I hate these damn suits. You, pretty boy, are the one who likes this shit.”

“It’s because suits love me,” he says, straightening his tie. “I make ’em look better.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Hendrix huffs.

I follow his eyes to see the old man with some new bitch on his arm. If I didn’t hate the bastard, I would admit he looks better than he ever did.

“Hello, boys,” he greets as he approaches. “This is Maxine. Maxine, these are my sons.”

We all look at her and nod.

She is older than him, though it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone who didn’t know the fucker. Alcohol aged him. My guess is there are a good ten, maybe fifteen, years between them.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” She smiles shyly. “I have heard so much about you.”

“All good things, I assume.” I kind of laugh.

“I’m proud of my boys,” Dad says as his chest pops out. Fucker is peacocking, and I have no idea why.

“Always have been, right, old man?” Hendrix says, glaring at him.

“Well, maybe not always.” He chuckles nervously.

When none of us say or do shit, he gives her a kiss on the cheek, and I want to puke and punch the fucker at the same time.

“Just got back from Vegas.” His eyebrow threatens to rise up, but he is on his best fucking behavior, sneaky old dog. I wonder what he’s done now. “Just wanted to stop by and let you know I am moving to Santa Barbara with Maxine, and we took care of the problem in Vegas.”

“The problem, you fu—”

Hendrix reaches out and takes my shoulder, stopping me.

“That’s good. Glad to hear it. You two have a great life,” Hendrix says.

This Maxine chick hasn’t a clue what she’s getting into. It’s not fair.

“We both lost our true loves last year. It’s a blessing to have a second chance,” she says, gazing up at him. “A new beginning.”

“Maxine, you will let us know if you need anything,” my voice booms, and she looks up at me.

“I appreciate that. Maybe you three could come visit for the holidays?”

Before I can say hell will freeze over first, the old man pipes in. “We’ll be late for our flight.”

“Right. We hope you understand we’ll have to miss your big day, Morrison,” she says, looking at me. “Our flights were scheduled before we knew, and we leave for a cruise—”

“Then you better hurry along,” Morrison, the real fucking Morrison, scoots them along.

They cross the street where the old man opens the fucking passenger door to her Cadillac, says something to her, and then jogs back across the street toward us.

“I took care of the problem in Vegas,” he says.

“It was
your
problem, so you should have taken care of it,” I spit.

“Did you or did she?” Morrison points across the street.

“You boys could have helped me out.”

“And put my family in jeopardy? You’re outta your damn mind, old man,” Morrison snaps.

“I have a chance at a fresh start,” he says, running his hand through his thinning, dark-gray hair.

“You don’t deserve that shit, old man. Momma, she deserved that. She fucking deserved—”

“More than I gave her,” he admits, looking down.

“That epiphany is a little late,” Hendrix snarls.

“I stopped drinking.” He peers back up.

“Again?” Morrison huffs.

“Thirty-four days sober,” he says with more conviction than I have ever seen in him.

If I wasn’t leaning against the wall, I would fall over.

“I don’t know what you want from us. What you expect.”

“I would like forgiveness.”

Before I can say shit, Livi opens the door. “The rest of your life starts now.”

Her words hit me, and the thought of the woman I am about to make my wife, the one I will love and protect always, hits me harder.

I take in a few deep breaths and look at my brothers, then back at him. After all we have been through in the past few days—not turning Cobra in—Totty thinks it’s because of friendship, but she knows I believe he will get what’s coming to him. Forgiveness seems to be a working theme.

“You have mine. Forgiveness. But I…” I pause. “We will never forget what you put her through, what you put us through. We will
never
forget. Not ever.”

He nods and looks at Morrison.

“If you touch her, that Maxine lady, I’ll hit back this time. You got it?”

The old man nods once.

“Not that I give a fuck about the old bat, but touch her and you’re done. I won’t walk away,” Hendrix adds.

“Thank you,” he says, and I swear I can see a tear form in his old, dead, soulless eyes. “Maybe you three and your wives can come visit?”

“We forgave you. Don’t fucking push your luck, old man,” I say as I open the door wider. “Let’s go.”

The three of us follow Livi in without a look back.

I see green, the same color as that ribbon I gave her, now eight months ago, everywhere: paper lanterns, silk flowers, and tiny little ribbons. I swallow back all sorts of fucking emotions.

I look at my brothers, who are doing the same. “She’s here with us.”

They nod, both expressions mirroring what I feel inside.

“Damn it,” I groan and shake my head.

I look up to see Jared standing on the dance floor, smiling.

I shake my head and look at my brothers. “Fucker loves this shit.”

Morrison smirks. “I bet she’s smiling down about that, too.”

“No doubt.” Hendrix sighs. “Go, baby C. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Standing next to Jared, I look up when the music starts, and I nearly lose it. The words are haunting and beautiful as Jewel sings “Life Uncommon.”
Don’t worry, Mother, it’ll be alright
.

My sisters walk down the stairs, wearing the same green color in all different styles, all of them crying, even Marisa, who says, “Mommy, why are we crying?”

“We are so, so happy,” Hailey says and hugs her in the middle of the stairs.

“Okay, Mommy, okay.”

I squat down. “Come here, Ris Priss.” She runs to me, and I hug her. “We’re all good.”

“Okay.” She hugs me around the neck and squeezes.

“Come on, Little Chick,” Morrison says, taking her out of my arms. “Uncle Jagger has something he needs to do.”

“Marry Totty. Make her my aunt.”

“Right on.” He holds up his fist, and she gives him a fist bump as they walk away.

I look up to see she still isn’t coming down, so I look at the girls, who smile at me.

I start to walk toward the bottom of the stairs, but Hendrix stops me. “Livi says you’ve gotta wait.”

“Bullshit. Something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Livi smiles. “Everything is perfect.” She takes my hand. “Wait for it.”

“Wait for what?” I ask, trying not to sound like too much of an asshole.

The song stops and another one starts.

“That’s my girl.” I laugh as she comes out. “Fucking beautiful.”

She is in a long white gown that has a high waist and isn’t lacy or poufy. It flows over every delicious curve of my little one’s body. Her hair is in a loose braid, entwined in a green ribbon, another tied in a bow at the bottom.

“We Are the Champions” is playing through the surround sound, and my girl is smiling. There is nothing but happiness and love in her eyes, and I’m feeling the same.

When she is standing on the last step, almost eye to eye with me, I wrap my arms around her and lift her until she is.

“Fucking beautiful.”

Her hands cup my face and she kisses me. “More handsome every time I look at you.”

I lean in to kiss her and hear Jared clear his throat over the mic.

“Strict orders from Jared,” she tells me. “No kiss till we’ve hashed it all out up there in the ring.”

“Is that so?”

“As much as I want to, I promised.” She sticks her bottom lip out and gives me the sexiest little pouty face.

“We can play by his rule for now, Totty, but remind me, who wins the fight?”

“You do.”

“Why’s that?”

“ ’Cause you’re the champion.”

“You bet your ass I am.”

I carry her to the dance floor as she giggles. Sweetest sound in the world.

I set her down and then give Jared a nod.

He looks at the crowd and nods. A bell rings, and I look out to see Kid smiling. I think it’s a smile, anyway.

“In this corner, we have Totty the Hottie.” Jared raises her arm, and she laughs. “We need to make this quick. She’s a Russian, possibly KGB. I haven’t figured it out yet. I mean, why the hell would she marry him”—he points to me—“if she wasn’t a spy or trying to get a green card?”

Everyone laughs.

“In this corner, we have Jagger ‘The Hitmaker’ Caldwell.”

The room cheers, and I can’t help laughing.

“Or should I say Hit-
taker
? The champion gave up his need to hit on all the women in town quite a few months back. I was sure he was switching teams. I mean, he was looking at me funny.”

“No switch-hitter here, man.”

“That’s too bad. I had a new boxing name for you if you did come out.”

“Oh yeah?” I chuckle.

“Fruit Punch,” he says serious as shit, and everyone laughs.

“Shit’s not supposed to be funny,” I say, looking at the crowd and trying not to laugh.

“Well, then I’m not gonna be very entertaining. I’m not all that politically correct.” Jared smirks. “Let me ask you, Totty, what does a boxer and a beer bottle have in common?”

She thinks for a minute. “Size and shape?” My jaw drops, and everyone laughs. “What? He’s big.”

“Lucky girl!” someone yells.

“Well, I was gonna say they’re empty from the neck up, but good to know.” He reaches behind him and rubs his ass. “Glad you’re not after me. I’d have to ask Livi to have some of those panties made up to say
Do Not Enter.
”

“What the fuck do you know about my girl’s panties?” Hendrix barks a laugh.

“She gives them to everyone.”

“Shit’s not funny,” I say, expecting Hendrix to freak.

“Said she handed your girl some.”

I laugh and so does Totty.

“She did,” Tatiana admits. “I’ll show you the new ones later.”

“That’s expected.” I wink at her as I reach for her hand.

Jared steps between us. “Corners.”

I lift my hands and step back. “My bad, man.”

“Knock, knock,” Jared says.

The crowd replies, “Who’s there?”

“Russia.”

“Russia who?” they say.

“They’re not Russian to get married. From what I understand, he has been Russian for her to turn eighteen for months now.”

Everyone laughs while Totty smiles and blushes.

I wink. “It’s true, little one.”

“Jagger, you better keep it up at the gym. From what I hear, she’s fast. She’s Russian.”

“Lame, man.” I chuckle. “Real lame.”

He turns to Totty. “I want you to promise me something.”

She nods.

“If you think he’s nibbling too hard on your ear, push him away and remind him he’s not Mike Tyson. You wanna keep those ears, Totty.”

“Hurry it up, Jared.” I laugh. “I want to put an end to the Cold War.”

He looks at me blankly. “I’m the funny one here.”

“Of course.” I wink.

“Stop winking at me, Fruit Punch,” he says, causing the whole room to erupt in laughter.

When they quiet down, he looks at Totty. “You sure you wanna marry this kid? He’s all muscles and ink.”

She grins. “He’s beautiful outside, but his inside is even more so. Yes. Yes, I want to marry him.”

He nods, then looks at me. “Honor and protect, never overshadow, beside and not behind.”

I nod.

“You wanna marry Hottie Totty?”

“Sure do, and I want you to quit saying that. It implies you’ve been checking out what’s mine, and that pisses—”

“Jagger.” Totty giggles.

“Totty.”

“You wanna marry me?” she asks sweetly.

“Yeah, little one, I wanna marry you.”

“Perfect.” Jared looks at the crowd, the bell rings, and he takes both of our hands and brings them together. “All right, even though Totty here isn’t of legal age, I want us all to raise a glass.” I see him lift a bottle of vodka. “I’m a beer and whiskey guy, but for today, to make our little Russian spy feel welcome, we raise a glass of vodka.”

The bartenders pass out the glasses. I take a step toward my girl and wrap her in my arms.

“Kiss your bride, Caldwell,” he says.

I lift her up, and I do just that. Her lips part, my tongue enters her mouth, and I hear Jared announce us.

“I give you, Mr. and Mrs. Jagger Caldwell.”

As we continue the kiss, the song starts up again.

She pulls back. “We are, you know?”

“Yeah, we sure are. I love you, Mrs. Caldwell.”

She holds my face and kisses me harder before pulling back.

“I want a lot more of that.”

“Good.” She wiggles out of my hands. “Take me home now, please.”

I am instantly hard. “But—”

“We’ll come back. I need you to take me home. Now.”

“Pull over here,” she moans, my hand already between her legs.

I slip a finger under her panties and into the warmth between the hottest little legs I have ever been between.

“Why not the driveway, little—?”

“Here!” she cries out as her pussy clenches my finger. “Oh God.”

I pull over, hitting the curb without giving a shit. I want to fuck my wife so badly right now.

I throw the car in park and turn to her. I curl my finger as I shove another one inside just like she likes it—hard.

She grabs the oh-shit handles and cries out, “Oh God,” again.

“Come for me, Mrs. Caldwell.” I grab the back of her head, pull her to me, and kiss her. I use my thumb to tease her clit, give it a good tap, and she falls apart in my hand. “Fuck, so sexy.” I let go of her head, pull my hand away, and lick my fingers as I get out and run around to open her door.