Joyful (5 page)

And she was so tired of being weak and sad. It was better if he thought she was handling things better than she was.

Something terrible was about to happen; she could feel it in her bones, and it was threatening to destroy her.

“Why, Lord?” she whispered into the silence surrounding her. “Why me?”

It seemed she hadn't been praying hard enough for the Lord's strength. At the moment, it was all she could do not to fall completely apart.

Randall had never called a family meeting, but he figured there was a first time for everything.

He was barely able to contain his impatience as Junior and Miriam wandered in, Beverly and her husband, Joe, on their heels. Though it was obvious Randall was waiting for everyone to get settled, Junior and Beverly took their time chatting with Neil and Micah as if they hadn't just seen everyone for Sunday supper.

Five minutes later, Claire and her husband blew in. “I hope this is important, Randall,” she said by way of greeting. “Jim and I had quite a time finding a driver on such late notice.”

Since when did he have to justify himself? He wasn't the one who moved out to Charm. “I appreciate your efforts to get here. Especially since this is the first time I've ever asked you to come over here for a meeting.”

Claire raised her brows at his snippy tone. “Have you made any
kaffi
?”

Like he had time to play host. “I have not.”

“Well, I'm going to go make some.”

“Claire, we don't need any
kaffi
.”

“I do.” As she walked to the kitchen, Randall watched her commandeer Levi. “What's going on with Randall?” she whispered not too quietly.

“I don't know,” Levi replied. “I just got here.”

“Hmm.”

He paced impatiently while Claire made coffee, Miriam placed snickerdoodles and brownies on a plate, and Kaylene showed everyone the new book she was reading.

At last, when everyone was sprawled out over the two couches and floor of their great room, Junior looked at him expectantly. “Not that I'm not happy to see everyone, but I'd kind of like to get things started. Miriam and I had other plans for tonight.”

Randall did not roll his eyes. But it took effort. Honestly, ever since Junior had suddenly decided that Miriam Zehr was the girl for him, it was like he'd forgotten that he'd spent almost ten years before that completely oblivious to her love for him.

Now he was as smitten as a teenager in the throes of his first crush. To make matters worse, he didn't even seem to care who knew it.

“Randall?” Neil murmured. “Do you want to tell everyone what Levi did or shall I?”

Levi stood up. “Neither of you need to speak for me. I'm old enough to speak for myself, remember?”

“Believe me, we remember,” Randall snapped. “Actually, if you are so eager to reveal what you did, go ahead.”

Levi's muscles tensed, then he shook his head in obvious exasperation. “All I did was go visit Elizabeth Nolt today.”

Looking around the room, Randall was almost pleased to see that everyone in the room was having the same reaction that he'd had when he first heard. Claire and Beverly grimaced. Even Junior looked shocked. And Micah also looked vaguely uncomfortable.

“And why did we need to know this?” Junior asked.

“Give him a minute,” Randall snapped. “I'm sure he's getting to it.”

After shushing her husband, Miriam spoke. “Did you have a reason for paying her a call, Levi?” she asked. As usual, her sweet demeanor served to put a positive spin on things.

“
Jah
, I had a reason. I offered her a job.”

Miriam's eyebrows popped together. “Doing what?”

“Cooking for us. Helping with Kaylene. Laundry.”

“You had no right to go out hiring women,” Randall said. “Especially not my former girlfriend.”

“I live here. That gives me the right.”

“It doesn't give you the right to be rude.”

“Stop arguing,” Junior ordered. “Now, Levi, what did Elizabeth say?”

“She's agreed to come over tomorrow and cook supper.”

“Really?” Neil's slim, wiry body visibly relaxed. “That is wonderful.”

“
Wunderbaar
,” Micah murmured under a faint smile.

To Randall's dismay, everyone in the room looked pretty pleased. “No. No, it definitely is not wonderful,” he blurted. “Actually, it's a disaster.”

Junior's blue eyes—eyes the exact shade as Levi's and their mother's—narrowed. “Why?”

“Because I don't want her here.”

“You don't want her here but I do,” Levi countered. “Randall, we need some help. If you weren't so hardheaded you'd see that.”

“What made you decide to ask Elizabeth, of all people?” Junior asked. “I mean, I would have never thought of asking her for help.”

“A lot of reasons. I like her. Kaylene does, too. I'm sick of chicken and baked potatoes.” He lowered his voice. “Plus, I heard through the grapevine that she's having money trouble.”

Beverly's husband, Joe, leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his knees. “She is? What's wrong? Does she need some help with her bills or something?”

“She didn't say,” Levi replied. “But I think it does kind of make sense. Remember, her
mamm
got remarried and moved to Pennsylvania. Now it's just her and her grandmother.”

“But surely her
mamm
didn't leave them high and dry.”

Levi shrugged. “I suppose there's a story there. But like I said, it's only a rumor. Though she was trying to plant vegetables when I got over there.”

“She must be having trouble, then. She's a horrible gardener,” Randall said. “I've never known Elizabeth to keep a houseplant alive.”

Junior looked from Randall to Levi to Neil and Micah. “It sounds like most of you are okay with what Levi did. Kaylene, what do you think about Elizabeth coming over to help out?”

Kaylene shrugged.

Junior studied her a moment, then walked over to crouch in front of their little sister. “Tell me the truth.”

“I don't want her here. I want Miriam.”

Randall inwardly winced. Even though he hadn't wanted Elizabeth, he'd hoped that Kaylene's outburst the other night had been a onetime thing.

After exchanging glances with his wife, Junior said, “Kaylene, do you want to move in with Miriam and me?”

Her eyes widened. “You two live in a house near Main Street. Not here on our farm.”

“That's true. But it's kind of fun living near everything.”

Randall held his breath. Until that very moment, he hadn't completely realized just how much it would hurt to let Kaylene go. He would not only feel like he'd failed her, but he'd also miss her.

Kaylene, with her purple and pink dresses, hugs, and constant chatter, made their house a home. If she left, it would feel like he and his brothers were simply biding their time until something better came along.

After seeming to seriously consider the option, Kaylene shook her head. “I don't want to leave. I like living here.”

“We like having you here with us, little sister,” Neil said gently. “Micah, Randall, Levi, and I might not do things the same way as Junior, but I promise, we love you just as much.”

The expression on their little sister's face spoke volumes. That had been just what she'd needed to hear.

As Randall gazed at her, he felt a lump in his throat. Why hadn't he realized that Kaylene had needed a little more attention now that Junior and Claire and Beverly were out of the house?

Why hadn't he told her that she was loved more often? He would have thought he would have instinctively done that. Everyone knew little girls needed lots of care and reassurance.

Swallowing his pride and all of his doubts, he said, “Kay, why don't we see how things go with Elizabeth? She is a mighty nice woman. So kind, too.”

“And she sure can make a good cherry pie. Almost as good as yours, Miriam,” Levi said with a wink.

Miriam chuckled. “I've obviously been neglecting my new siblings. I'll start bringing over more treats.”

Just as Randall had started to relax, Kaylene's eyes teared up. “Why can't things be like they used to be?”

“Because that isn't the way life is supposed to be,” Junior said. “The Lord depends on us all to grow and change. Nothing stays the same. Not even you.”

She blinked. “I haven't changed!”

“Sure you have! You used to be a little tiny thing. We used to have to carry you about the house like a sack of potatoes,” Junior teased.

“I remember when you used to be afraid of the dark,” Randall said. “And when you used to sing nursery rhymes around the house.”

“I remember when you liked pretending you were a kitten,” Neil said with a smile. “One time I had to put your milk in a saucer so you could lap it up.”

“I never did that.”

“Oh, yes you did,” Neil retorted with a laugh. “You, my sister, didn't just like animals, you wanted to be one.”

Miriam got to her feet and held out her arms. After Kaylene walked into her embrace, she said, “And I remember how you used to not be able to read. Now you read circles around us all.”

When Kaylene stepped out of Miriam's embrace, Randall strode over and swung her up into his arms. “Please don't worry, little sister,” he whispered into her ear. “I won't let you down. I promise you that.”

When her spindly arms hugged him right back, Randall made himself a promise. No matter what, he was going to make sure he didn't let her down again.

She was too important to him. Too important to them all.

L
izzy, you are a
wonderful-gut
girl, but I'm just not sure if you should be going over to the Beilers. Especially not to cook and clean for them.”

“There's nothing wrong with cooking and cleaning, Mommi. It's honest work.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a fairly good way for you to get your heart broken, if you ask me.”

Her grandmother was one of the smartest people Elizabeth knew. She was probably right about her warning. But it couldn't be helped. Getting hired by the Beilers was the best chance she had for keeping a roof over their heads.

And the fact of the matter was that she was willing to do anything to keep her grandmother happy. Even be around Randall. “Mommi, my heart isn't in danger of being hurt,” she lied. “I'll be okay.”

To Elizabeth's dismay, her grandmother shrugged off her statement. “Why are you going over there, really? Is it to help the Beiler boys eat better? Or is it because you still aren't over Randall?”

There were a lot of reasons. It was because they really, really needed some extra money. It was because it pleased her to do something well that could help others. And for her, that was what cooking and crafting did. She liked doing things for other people—and she was also just vain enough to know that she appreciated being thanked for her efforts, too.

She also wanted to see Randall again, in a way that wouldn't be filled with pressure or false expectations. If Levi hadn't been exaggerating, if things really were in disarray at his house, it meant that Randall had been telling her the truth when he said they couldn't see each other again.

And if that was the case, she knew she owed him an apology. If she was honest with herself, she knew there had been times when she'd dismissed his concerns when he'd confided how much his new responsibilities weighed on him. There had been a few times she'd given him the cold shoulder when he'd been late or forgotten about a date altogether because of a family obligation. Sometimes, she'd even ignored his excuses, thinking he would have tried harder to spend time with her . . . if that had been what he'd really wanted.

“It's a lot of things. And
jah
, I do want to see Randall, Mommi. I fear I misjudged him when we broke up. And, well, the extra money would be nice.”

“We should write to your mother and tell her that she needs to send more money.”

“I'm not going to do that.”

“Just because she has started a new family, it don't mean that she can forget about you.”

“She hasn't.” Elizabeth feared it was more a case of out of sight, out of mind. She was reluctant to say that, however, because it would only highlight the fact that her mother hadn't come back to Sugarcreek to visit in almost eight months. That was double the amount of time in which she'd vowed to return.

Mommi clasped her hands together. “Maybe there's something I could do? I don't move as quickly as I used to, but I'm not completely useless. Not yet, anyway.”

“You do enough. You've done plenty all my life. I want to help you, Mommi. I promise, I'm looking forward to going to the Beilers'.”

“As much as you'd be looking forward to getting a tooth pulled.”

Because that was true, she hid a smile. “Please don't worry. I'll take care of you.”

Her grandmother looked like she was tempted to argue, but at last nodded. “Off you go, then. If we keep talkin' you won't get there.”

“That is true. I'll be back in a few hours.”

“Take your time, dear. I actually have some plans for today.”

“Oh?”

“Martha Kempf is going to pick me up and take me to the Sugarcreek Inn for some lunch and a slice of pie.”

Elizabeth smiled. Her grandmother didn't get out much, and with their finances being what they were, meals out were few and far between. “That's mighty nice of her.”

“I'm looking forward to spending some time with Martha, but I think she's got an ulterior motive.” Her eyes twinkled. “Now that her daughter Christina married Aden and they're living in town, she doesn't get to see them much.”

“But Christina's still working as a server at the restaurant?”