Just a Little (5-8) (5 page)

He looked up from his coffee and bit his lip. The way his fingers gripped the mug made me long to feel the warmth of his touch.

“Matt won’t be happy when he finds out that I’m telling you.”

“What’s Matt have to do with anything?” I asked. “I thought you wanted to talk about
us
?”

“You’ve been worried about him, Julie,” he finally took his hand off the mug. He reached across the table and threaded our fingers together. “I know what he’s been up to. I’ve known since the beginning, and if it’ll earn me some of your trust, I want to tell you what’s going on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“First, I need you to promise you’re not going to tell him that I told you.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Then I can’t tell you,” he dropped his head. “If he finds out you know, he’ll know I said something.”

“Then don’t tell me,” I pulled my hand from his. I pushed myself back from the table and stood. “I thought you asked me here to tell me the truth, not to list the conditions of your honesty. I’m just gonna go.”

“Julie, no,” he grabbed my wrist, “I’m sorry. Please sit down.” His eyes grew sadder as he watched me from his chair. “Please.”

“You said you’d tell me everything.”

“I will,” he said, and I reluctantly slid back into my seat. “Can you please take your coat off, Jules? You’re making me nervous. I want to know that you’re going to stay, hear me out to the very end.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. I unzipped my zipper and pulled the coat off. After hanging it on the back of my chair, I turned back and pushed my hair over my shoulders. I rested both arms on the table and watched him intently, but he was no longer meeting my gaze. He wasn’t looking at me the way he’d looked at me before.

“Julie,” he said, his voice growing thicker, “what are you wearing?”

I looked down at my shirt and immediately noticed Derek’s old house key resting gently on my chest.

“Oh,” I said, quickly tucking it inside my shirt. “Sorry, I—”

“Where’s the necklace
I
gave you?”

“I’m wearing it,” I reached back in my shirt and pulled both keys out. “See? I haven’t taken it off; not once, I swear.”

But he wasn’t relieved. His face flushed red as he breathed deeper.

“I threw that in the garbage.”

“And I got it back out,” I said. “It wasn’t yours to throw away.”

“And it’s not yours.”

“No,” I said, “it’s Derek’s.”

“I carried that bag of trash outside and dumped it in a garbage can, Julie,” he said. “Which means you waited until I left, went outside, and ransacked the trash bags.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head. “It wasn’t yours to throw away,” I said again, this time in a whisper.

“You have to take that off,” he reached over. “Give it to me.”

“What?”

“Take it off.”

“You don’t get to make that decision, Luke.”

“Julie,” he dropped his hand, “please, take it off.”

“No,” I said, still holding the necklace, “I’m not giving it to you, Luke. Derek was my friend, and this key… it’s the only thing that gives me hope that he’ll come back.”

“He’s not coming back.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do!” he slammed his fist against the table. “Derek—is—gone. And I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that before it sinks in. What’s it going to take, Julie? You haven’t heard from him in months. You walk by his empty house every day. If he cared about you, he wouldn’t have left.”

“He needed to find himself,” I said. “And when he does, he’ll come back. He said he hoped our paths would cross again. If he hadn’t planned to come back, he wouldn’t have—”

“Stop!”

It was only then that we both realized that everyone in the café, customers and workers alike, were watching us with surprised expressions.

Luke gave an apologetic nod around the room, and everyone turned back to what they were doing.

I swallowed hard and watched as Luke closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, finally looking up at me. “Julie, when I said there were a lot of things I hadn’t told you…” He dropped his head again. “There are things you need to know,” he bit his lip. “Things I’ve done. You have to forgive me… I…” He swallowed hard yet again and met my gaze. “Derek had to go, Jules. He was a threat to himself and a danger to you. He’s not coming back; he’s gone.”

“Luke,” I said, suddenly feeling like the room had grown about a hundred degrees warmer, “what did you do?”

“I had to, Jules. I had to do
something
. He had to go…”

CHAPTER SIX

Friday, March 01

I still couldn’t believe it; Luke was the reason Derek had left.

Like an idiot, I believed that Derek had truly left to find himself, to make a difference in his life. Maybe he had, but he hadn’t done so by choice.

Luke had forced him out.

I circled the block for the eighth time. I was too angry to go home, too hurt to talk to Luke, and too stubborn to admit that he was probably looking out for my best interest.

I suddenly found myself wishing that I would’ve given him a chance to explain himself. But the moment the words fell off his lips, the moment he finally told me the truth, I left.

I swept my coat off the back of the chair and headed for the door, not listening to him as he pleaded for me to come back.

“I had to do
something
. He had to go. After everything his father had done, everything his mother and sister had done. Derek wasn’t stable. He was a danger to you, Julie. I know you wanted him here, but you are just too young to understand. Sometimes what you want isn’t always the best thing for you, Jules. He was a ticking time bomb; he had to be taken care of.”

Even after circling the block for the ninth, tenth, and eleventh times, I still couldn’t get those words out of my head. Why did I act so rashly? Why hadn’t I stuck around and listened to his explanation? What had he said to Derek? What had he done?

Did he run him out of town?

Pay him to leave?

Kill him?

Okay, murder didn’t seem as likely as the other options. But why phrase it that way?

He had to be taken care of.

I pulled my coat tighter and rounded the corner to enter the Old Historic District once again. But as I walked down the street, I watched as Matt pushed through the doors to Lonnie and Grace’s flower shop.

There he was again, up to no good. I knew that whatever he was doing, Luke was in on it, too.

I was tired of guessing, tired of suspecting, tired of everyone keeping me from the truth.

“That’s it,” I mumbled, dodging the few cars in the street as I jaywalked to the other side. Rules had to be broken sometimes; forgive me, Dad.

I reached the shop and pushed through the door, ready to hound Matt with a million questions. When I got inside, Lonnie and Grace were the only ones there.

“Julie!” Grace maneuvered around the counter to give me a hug. “We haven’t seen you in a while, sweetheart. How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” I half-heartedly returned her hug. “Did I just see Matt come in?”

She pulled back and nodded. “He’s in back.”

“Julie,” Lonnie gave me an appreciative nod as he arranged a floral bouquet. “What can we do for you?”

“I’m just here to talk to Matt.”

“
Julie
,” my cousin stopped in his tracks as he returned from the back room. His expression grew cold as he stared between me, Lonnie, and Grace. “What are you doing here?”

“Funny,” I said, “I was just about to ask
you
the same thing.” I looked down at the apron he was tying in place. “Why are you wearing that?”

“Oh, honey,” Grace said, “it’s a messy job. If we didn’t wear aprons, we’d ruin everything we own.”

“You work here?” I asked Matt. “Here? With Lonnie and Grace?”

“And Rebecca,” Lonnie said, looking up from the roses.

“We hired Rebecca in January,” Grace turned to the register. “It was such a relief to have some extra help around here, we couldn’t refuse Matt’s offer to help when Luke suggested—”

“Luke suggested?” I asked. “So, Luke helped you get a job? That’s it?” That’s all they’d been keeping from me? I suddenly felt like an idiot. Matt just wanted a new place to work, and he was too embarrassed to tell me and Charlie that he was working with flowers. “Matt?”

He took a step forward and leaned over the counter. “Can we talk about this later?”

“Yeah,” I felt like a complete jerk.

It made perfect sense. When Matt said he was off to work—and then didn’t turn up at the bistro—it was because he was coming here. When he told me he was with Kara, I assumed he lied because he knew he could only get away with using work as an excuse so often.

“When do you get off?”

“Come by around seven; I’ll have a break,” he looked over his shoulder to make sure Lonnie and Grace couldn’t hear him. “You should probably know the
whole
truth.”

Friday, March 01| 7:00 p.m.

I paced outside the flower shop door for ten minutes. I didn’t want to go in. As much as I loved Grace and Lonnie, I couldn’t face them again. I’d gotten lucky before when they hadn’t asked about Luke, but I didn’t think I’d get so lucky a second time. How could I possibly answer that?

Oh, I’m punishing him because he made my best friend ‘disappear.’

Yeah, it was best to just keep from answering all of their questions, and that meant staying outside.

Matt stepped outside at seven sharp.

“Let’s walk,” he moved down the sidewalk. I ran to catch up. “I don’t have long. I’m closing tonight.”

“Matt,” I shook my head, “all this time… why didn’t you just tell us?”

He watched me from the corner of his eye. “How do you think Dad would’ve taken it?” he asked. “He’s already angry that I put so many hours in at the bistro. I don’t have time for school; my grades are falling. If I told him I’d taken a second job—”

“But you don’t need a second job,” I said. “If you like working for Grace, why not quit the bistro?”

“Because I love it there,” he shoved his hands in pockets. “I haven’t given up on cooking, Julie. I’m still chasing that dream.”

“Then why—”

“I only told you that because I don’t have time to cater to you guys every night. I don’t even have time for myself. I’ve been eating junk food from the convenience store every night. I just needed an easy excuse to get away.”

“But why work two jobs? I don’t understand.”

“I need money,” he stared at his feet. “And lots of it.”

“Money for what?” I asked, taking his arm and stopping him. He turned to face me and took a deep breath. “Matt… drugs?”

“God, no,” he rolled his eyes, “do I look like a person who has a drug problem?”

Point taken. Besides, if Matt needed a job and extra money, the chances were slim that Luke would offer to help him out if the end resulted in something illegal.

“We’re graduating in a few months, Julie,” he said, “and I’ll be leaving for college.”

“I know.”

“And Kara will be here,” he said. “She’ll still have a year of high school ahead of her.”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t want to leave,” he said, “not without her knowing how much I truly care about her.”

“Well, sneaking around and lying isn’t exactly the best way to communicate your love and affection.”

“I’m going to propose to Kara,” he said, suddenly smiling. “And I want to get her the best ring money can buy.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,” I shook my head. “Propose? Like… propose
marriage
?”

“Why not?”

“Because you just turned eighteen last week!” I said. “She’s only
seventeen
!”

“We’re in love,” he said. “It’s the real deal, Julie.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” I said. “But marriage—”

“Listen,” he said, “you’re not gonna tell me anything I haven’t heard. I already got this lecture from your boyfriend, but I needed to tell someone. And I needed someone with influence to help me find another job. I knew I could trust him.”

“You couldn’t trust me?”

“I didn’t know how you’d react,” he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You can always trust me, Mattie,” I said. “In fact, I wish you would’ve. If you only knew what you put me and Kara through. We thought you were cheating.”

“I’m sorry,” he said as we both started walking again. His goofy grin grew wider and he shook his head. “I’m going to propose to her.”

“Think she’ll say yes?”

“Do you?”

I bit my lip, “I don’t know.”

“She’ll say yes,” he said, his eyes glazing over. “She’ll say yes…”

CHAPTER SEVEN

Friday, March 01| 7:15 p.m.

As we circled the park, I told Matt all the things I’d been dying to tell him over the past few weeks. I told him all about the weeks of dodged phone calls, missed connections, and lies from Luke. I described every last detail about mine and Kara’s investigation, the night Luke showed up at the diner with that girl, and the infamous moment he ignored my call. I told him all about the way I’d blown up at Luke at the mall. Then I relived the conversation I’d had with him at the café… everything he’d said about Derek… everything I wish I would’ve stayed around to hear afterward.

Matt didn’t interrupt me once. He simply listened to everything I had to say.

“It’s funny, really,” he finally said after I finished my rant. “I kinda suspected you were trailing me.”

“Sorry.”

“Did Kara…” He dropped his head and sighed. “Did she find anything on Luke?”

“No,” I pushed my hands into my coat pockets, “nothing out of the ordinary. Why?”

“Well,” he twisted his lips. “I told him everything I wanted to do for Kara. He offered to talk to his dad about getting me a job at the shop. He wasn’t incredibly supportive of my decision to marry young, but I had my heart set on doing it one way or another. So, he helped me. I told him everything; he knew my plan from the inside out.”

“Okay?”

“But he hasn’t returned the favor,” Matt said. “He’s been secretive.”

“So, it’s not just me, then? You see it too?”

“I questioned him last week about all the time he’s been spending at the shop,” he said. “He’s been in a lot, and never to see his dad or Grace. I suspected, as I’m sure you did, he was there because of—”

“Rebecca,” I hated how much her beautiful name matched her perfect face.

“Yeah,” he said, “I wanted to say something to you. I wanted to tell you about
my
suspicions, but I couldn’t… not without telling you everything
I
had going on.”

“It’s okay.”

“Have you asked him about Rebecca?” he asked. “About seeing them together at the diner?”

“No,” I said. “I think he knows I know, but I haven’t come right out and told him.”

“Why?”

I took a minute to contemplate the answer to that question. I could’ve caused a scene that night. I could’ve waltzed right up to him and demanded answers. I could’ve done to Luke exactly what I’d done to Lonnie—smacked him square in the face and gotten the police called on me yet again. But Detective Bruno’s comment still weighed heavily on my heart.

With all the love and respect in the world, Julie, you’re both clearly insecure. Mature women don’t stoop to this level.

I’d already carried myself like a child; I didn’t want to continue acting like one, like I didn’t have a head on my shoulders.

And honestly, it hurt. It hurt like hell to watch him walk through that door with another woman, laughing with her, talking to her… ignoring me. If Luke wanted to be with someone else, no amount of begging, pleading, or crying would ever change his mind. No matter how many hissy fits I threw, how many messages I left him, or how many times I demanded answers, Luke was going to do what Luke wanted to do.

I had no choice but to let him be who he was and carry on with my life.

“Do you think there’s a logical explanation for everything you’ve seen?” I asked Matt. “For everything I’ve seen and heard? Do you think there’s any possibility that he’s not interested in her?”

“No, Julie,” Matt took a deep breath and sighed, “I don’t.” He checked his watch and looked back to me. “I really want to continue this conversation, but—”

“You’ve gotta get back to work.”

“Yeah.”

As we turned out of the park, the loud laughter of a child echoed through the trees. We turned back, both of us smiling at the carelessness of childhood memories, and watched as a mother pushed her daughter on the swing back and forth. Laughter and giggling was the beautiful sound of a six-year-old’s contentment.

“I remember doing that with Mom,” I watched the little girl’s blond pigtails whip through the wind. “Back when times were so much easier, when life wasn’t nearly so complicated—”

“Whoa,” Matt grabbed my arm. He pulled me quickly behind a tree and poked his head out. “Oh my God.”

“What?” I asked, looking out after him.

I didn’t have to look far to see why he felt the sudden urge to hide. When the woman turned around, I immediately recognized her as Rebecca.

“Did you know she had a kid?”

“Maybe,” he shook his head, “I don’t know.”

We watched for another minute.

“We should go.”

“
Oh my God
,” Matt said again, this time pulling me back so I couldn’t see them anymore.

“What are you doing?”

“Julie, let’s go.”

“No,” I fought to see around the tree, but he held me back.

“Trust me, Julie,” he argued, “you don’t wanna see what I just saw.”

“What did you see?” I asked, peering around the tree again. But this time I didn’t see just Rebecca and her kid.

Luke was there kneeling on the ground, watching as the child jumped from her swing and ran into his arms. She tackled him to the ground and hugged him, both of them laughing hysterically.

“Julie,” Matt said, his hand landing gently on my back. “Do you think… is that why he’s been…”

We watched as Luke took the little girl in his arms, swept her up, and pressed a kiss to her head.

“Julie,” Matt said, almost breathless. “Is she…?”

“I don’t know—”

“But do you think?”

“
I don’t know
,” I said again, feeling my heart bury itself deeper into the pit of my stomach.

“Do you think it’s possible?” he asked, almost in shock. “Does Luke have a daughter?”