Just a Little (5-8) (2 page)

CHAPTER TWO

Saturday, February 09

Rekindling a relationship with his father was his number one priority over the holidays, so I hadn’t seen much of Luke over the past month. He’d spent the better part of Christmas with Lonnie and Grace, doing his best to fit into a family that had somehow managed to thrive without him. And though he always reported back with news of good visits, it was clear that he still carried a broken heart.

The family he remembered had changed over the years; it was a realization he needed to make, but one he didn’t want to face.

Luke was on duty almost every day after Christmas. Just for the sole purpose of sneaking a glimpse of him between shifts, I squeezed in a few minutes here and there down at the station. Between patrol, paperwork, and family, I’d become a last priority.

Though we’d made plans several times in the past month to get together, those plans always fell through, and it was
always
because of something on his end. Last night at Frank’s was the longest I’d seen him since Christmas Eve. I loved every second I could steal with him, but it didn’t keep me from wanting to wring his neck. I needed time with him; we needed time
together
. That was the only way this relationship was going to work.

I wanted to be fair. Luke had made it clear that he didn’t want to establish any new relationships until he’d mended his broken ones, and we’d jumped the gun on that. So
that
I understood, but it still sucked.

When the doorbell rang, I smoothed the wrinkles on the front of my red dress. I whipped open the door to a smiling Luke, who clutched a beautiful bouquet in front of him.

“Come in,” I said, stepping aside.

He took the invitation, walked in, and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek.

“A little gift from Dad,” he lifted the bouquet. “He wanted to apologize for monopolizing my time lately.”

“Ah, that’s sweet,” I took the flowers and brought them to my face. I took a deep breath and inhaled the smell of the fresh roses. “I’ll have to remember to thank him.”

“And these,” he pulled a smaller arrangement from behind his back, “are from me.”

I’m sure he read the joy in my expression because his smile widened as I took the second bouquet.

“Luke,” I dropped my head to hide my blushing cheeks, “you didn’t have to—”

“I did,” he took the opportunity to remove his coat while his hands were free. He hung the coat over the bottom of the banister and turned back to me. “You’ve been so patient, Jules. You have no idea how much that means to me, to my family.”

I smelled the flowers as an excuse not to look up. I didn’t want him to see the tears welling in my eyes. Sure, I’d cried in front of him before…plenty of times. But those were almost always tears of sadness or anger. If I let him see me cry now, he’d see just how vulnerable he made me. He’d finally know just how big of a hold he really had on my heart.

“Plus,” he lifted my chin. He brushed a stray hair behind my shoulder and ran his finger back along my cheek. “Tonight is our Christmas and Valentine’s Day wrapped into one, and what fun would that be without a gift or two?”

“Well,” I sucked in a deep breath, “thank you. Special occasion or not, I don’t care; I’m just glad I finally get to spend some time with you.”

“Well, then,” he took the flowers from me, “let’s get these in water and get the night started.”

“There’s a major kink in the plan,” I followed him into the kitchen.

I stopped at the cupboard and retrieved a vase, passing it to him at the sink. He started to fill the glass jar and looked back at me.

“What’s the kink?”

“Well,” I bit my lip, “when you were supposed to come last week, Matt was going to make us dinner.”

“Okay?”

“And he kinda threw in the towel on that dream, remember?” I said, still irked that there was probably more to the story than I really knew. Luke nodded so I continued, “He’s not here tonight. He said he had plans with Kara, but God only knows what that really means. He could be off doing anything.”

“Hey,” he put the vase aside on the counter, “I know you’re worried about the whole Matt situation, but let’s not let that ruin our evening, okay? These date nights are going to come few and far between for the next couple of months, so let’s make the most of them while we can.” I twisted my lips, wanting to make an argument and further my complaints about Matt and his supposed infidelity, but Luke dropped his head. “Julie.”

“Fine,” I dropped my shoulders in defeat, “but what about dinner?”

“Let’s go out.”

“I don’t want to go out,” I pouted my lower lip. I didn’t want to be difficult, and I hoped that I hadn’t sounded like a child. But what I really wanted was some time with him…
alone
.

“We can order something,” he said, “or make dinner ourselves.”

“Believe me when I tell you that you don’t want me attempting the domestic stuff. Not unless you want a pow-wow with some of your buddies from the Oakland Fire Department.”

“That bad, huh?” he asked, not hiding his amusement for a second.

“You don’t wanna know,” I said. “That’s Matt’s area of expertise.”

A hint of a smirk crossed Luke’s face as he glanced around the kitchen. He seemed to be deep in thought, heavily contemplating something.

“What’s on your mind?”

“No laughing,” he pointed a finger in my face, “but I can remedy this situation.”

“Take out?” I headed for a drawer of menus that Charlie kept hidden beneath old phone books and junk mail.

“You take a seat,” Luke redirected me to the barstool at the center island. “I’ll handle dinner.”

I watched as he headed for the refrigerator, far too confident in whatever he was about to do.

“
You’re
making dinner?”

“I’ve lived on my own for six years, Jules,” he pulled fresh vegetables from the bottom drawer. “Despite what your uncle lets you believe, cops don’t survive on donuts alone.” I took a deep breath and nodded, amused to watch what was about to unfold. “Have some faith, kid,” he said. “I promise; I’m as good in the kitchen as I am a target shooting.”

“Oh, yeah,” I snickered, trying to hide the humor in my voice, “now I have faith.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” I said, “it’s just
now
I know that one of us will end up dead or missing a toe by the end of the night,
Trigger
.”

“God, you make one mistake,” he muttered under his breath. He turned his back and chopped the vegetables on the opposite counter.

Thirty minutes later, dinner was in the oven—Luke’s on-the-fly meatloaf recipe—baking and steaming at 400 degrees. In the meantime, I helped him wash the dishes he’d dirtied during dinner prep. It was a quiet evening, not much said and not much to say. It was as clear to me as it was to him that we were just happy to spend some time together, no matter how quiet and intimate.

When the dishes were done, Luke excused himself to retrieve something from the front hall. He said he needed to check his phone, but the glimmer in his eye told me he was lying. He returned a few seconds later with a small gift in hand.

“I figured we’d go ahead and get this part of the evening out of the way while dinner’s in the oven,” he handed me the box. I jumped up on the counter, my feet dangling in the air, and fingered the bow on top of the box. “Open it.”

I removed the paper, piece by piece, taking my time so that I could sneak a few glances at Luke while he watched.

When I lifted the lid, my heart fell from my chest. Inside the box, a silver necklace shimmered in the light. The long, thin chain held a small pendant, a simple skeleton key no longer than an inch, diamond studded and simply breathtaking.

I pulled the necklace from the box, drawing it closer to my face to get a better look. Now, I didn’t know a lot about jewelry, nor had I ever been much for accessorizing, but something told me that Luke had gone above and beyond—emotionally
and
financially—to find this gift.

“Luke,” I knew there was no way I could keep my tears from cutting loose, “it’s beautiful. Why… why did you….?” I replaced my simple smirk with a genuine smile. “Thank you. I love it.”

“I’m glad.”

“Let me guess,” I ran my finger across the pendant, “the key to your heart?”

“Not quite,” he took it from my hands. “More like a way to keep
me
close to your heart.” I smiled and nodded. “Do you want to try it on?”

“Please,” I said, suddenly bringing my hand up to my neck.
Of course
I wanted to try it on. But I was already wearing a necklace, one I’d fashioned out of an old chain and a deadbolt key I’d dug out of Derek’s yard next door. I grasped the old key in my fingers and held it tight, watching the expression on Luke’s face turn from happy to something else. Something unhappier, but not sadness.

Something a little twisted, something mixed with a touch of anger.

Something like jealousy.

And suddenly his explanation didn’t seem so innocent.
A way to keep
me
close to your heart.

Him
… and not Derek.

He cleared his throat and bit back a snide remark. I know, because I’d gotten really good at recognizing his change of demeanor right before he said something rude. He’d just about done it then, but something kept him from it.

“I know you’re holding on to that thinking he’ll come back,” Luke finally said, not as gently as he normally would, “but he’s gone, Julie.”

“I know,” I hoped he’d understand that I didn’t need the reminder.

“Maybe it’s time for you to let this one go,” he took my hand in his and pulled it from the grasp on Derek’s key. When I saw that he wasn’t going to let up, I nodded. I jumped down off the counter, standing tall in front of Luke, and turned my back to him. He stepped forward and the full length of his body brushed lightly across the back of mine, sending a wave of heat soaring through my veins as his fingers brushed my skin. He shifted my hair to one side, unclasped the old, dingy necklace, and replaced it with his new, diamond-studded pendant. He took my shoulders and gently turned me to meet his stare.

“There,” he ran a finger across the new key, “that’s better.”

“Yeah,” I nodded once.

“Are you sure you like it?”

I looked down at the small piece of jewelry hanging from my neck and nodded again.

Though it was a beautiful, thoughtful—probably very expensive—gift from the man I loved, I felt nothing for the key around my neck. The key he’d removed was the one that actually meant something, the one that represented the friendship I’d loved and lost.

I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. The necklace was great, it truly was, but his gift felt less like a grand gesture of love, and more like a way to remove every last remnant of Derek’s time in Oakland.

“It’s perfect,” I swallowed hard. “I love it.”

“And I love you,” he said, finally pressing a warm kiss to my lips.

For the first time since we’d met, I felt disconnected from his touch. After we parted lips and I rested my head on his shoulder, I watched as he subtly dropped Derek’s key into the garbage can behind us.

It felt like a dagger through my heart.

CHAPTER THREE

Monday, February 18

“Where are you off to?” I looked up from my homework as I sat at the coffee table in the living room.

Matt zipped his jacket and headed for the front door. “Work.”

I tapped my pencil on the table and studied him. “At the bistro?”

“Where else?” he asked, obviously irritated. “Can I go now?”

“Just a quick question,” I asked, biting on the end of the pencil. “If you’ve given up your dream of someday owning your own restaurant, why are you still working at the bistro? Why not find another job?”

Matt scrunched his brow. “I don’t know, Julie,” he said, “because I’m good at what I do. I have job security. My co-workers respect me, my boss praises me. It’s easy. Now,” he motioned toward the door, “can I go?”

“Go,” I threw the pencil down on the table and dropped my head back on the couch. When Matt disappeared, I tucked my books back into my bag and set it aside. I fumbled with my phone for a bit; it crossed my mind several times to text Luke, but I reminded myself each time that there wasn’t much I had to say to him. Whether he meant to or not, he’d changed the dynamic of our relationship with a simple gift, and I still wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I wanted to love the gesture, but all I could muster was resentment.

It’d been well over a week since he’d come by with the necklace. After he put it around my neck—throwing Derek’s away without a moment’s hesitation—the rest of the evening was quiet. We ate in silence, only talking for a few minutes about how well Luke’s meatloaf turned out. Since that night, our conversations consisted mainly of five minute phone calls and text messages.

I tossed the phone back in my bag and headed for the stairs, only taking the first two. I pressed my fingers to my lips and whistled up the staircase. The faint sound of scratching paws grew louder as Elvis rounded the corner and stood panting on the second floor landing.

“Come on,” I clapped my hands. He flew down the stairs, nearly knocking me down as he reached the first floor. I ruffled the hair on his head and scratched his ears. “You wanna go for a walk?”

He let out a loud bark and jumped up to lick my face.

After Derek had left in December, I couldn’t stand the thought of Elvis wasting away at a shelter. Since Oakland only had one animal rescue center in town, I imagined it wouldn’t be hard to track the dog down. Sure enough, he was right there waiting for adoption the day I showed up. Convincing Uncle Charlie to let me bring him home wasn’t easy, but I played a few sympathy cards—shame on me, I know—and finally talked him into welcoming Derek’s former furry friend into our home.

Elvis and I set out on an afternoon stroll.

We wound through the quiet Oakland streets and headed toward the Old Historic District.

Once we reached the center of town, the olds shops in the area were within site, including Grace and Lonnie’s flower shop. We walked the block, stopping to look in the windows at the antiques and vintage clothing. We spent the better part of an hour moseying down the streets of Oakland. As I turned to head home, the site of Luke’s patrol car caught my eye. It was parked in front of the flower shop, but it hadn’t been there when we came into the District. From across the way, I could see him inside the shop, leaning on the counter, talking and laughing with someone—I couldn’t tell who—behind the register.

He was happy. And in that moment, so was I. For the first time since he’d reconnected with his father, it appeared as if they were finally letting go of the past.

Wanting to get his attention without crossing the street—years of living with my father (and now Charlie) warned me against jaywalking—I pulled out my cell and called Luke.

He answered almost instantly.

“
Julie
,” he sounded as though he’d purposely stressed my name for the other person’s benefit. He held a finger to his lips to quiet them. “Hey. Listen, I can’t talk right now—”

“Oh, I just wanted to say hi. I saw your car—”

“Listen, can I call you later?” he asked hurriedly. “I’m just swinging by the station to talk to Charlie.”

“You’re at the station now?” I asked, still watching him in the shop.

“Yes.”

“Right, okay,” I bit my bottom lip, “I guess I’ll just talk to you later, then.”

But I was interrupted by the sound of him disconnecting our call.

I watched as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. He checked his watch, said something to the flower store clerk—Grace or Lonnie, I couldn’t tell—and with a wave, headed for the door.

I pulled Elvis’ leash and hurried him around the corner out of sight. I peered around the building and watched as Luke got into his patrol car, started the engine, and pulled away.

I leaned back against the brick, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.

What reason could Luke possibly have to lie to me?

Sure, I’d been a little upset when he blew me off over Christmas, but I understood how much he needed that time with his family. I thought it was sweet that he’d drop by the shop to visit them. I found it incredibly strange that he thought he had to lie about where he was.

With one more deep breath, I pushed myself off the wall and rounded the corner once again.

It wasn’t Luke in the flower shop window that caught my eye this time. It was a girl—a woman, a beautiful woman—someone I’d never seen in Oakland before. With her auburn curls falling gracefully down her shoulders, she moved from behind the counter to the store entrance. With a turn of the deadbolt, and a flip of the “out to lunch” sign, she glanced up and met my stare.

We watched each other for a few long seconds before she reached up and pulled the shade down, masking herself behind the blind. With each pounding beat of my heart, I fought to restrain tears.

Why would he lie to me? Better yet, who was she, and what business did Luke have visiting her?

Elvis licked my hand, reminding me that I wasn’t alone.

I gave him a playful pat on the head and tried to disguise the hurt in my eyes. Just in case dogs really had that uncanny sense for detecting human emotion, I had to put on a smile. I didn’t want anyone, not even Elvis, to know the truth.
I couldn’t fathom someone else knowing
that Luke’s little lie didn’t seem so little anymore.

And that his one little lie… well, it broke my heart.

Thursday, February 21

I tapped my pencil against the table for the hundredth time.

I couldn’t concentrate on my homework. Three days after he’d blatantly lied to me, I still hadn’t heard from Luke. No text. No call. No visit. Nothing.

I thought for sure that I’d hear from him today because today was the day that Hannah Jones-Milton learned her fate in court. It’d been long overdue, trial delay after delay, but the day had finally come.

I should’ve been there; Luke, too.

There should’ve been a trial, a jury, a sentencing… the whole shebang. What she’d done to Luke shouldn’t have earned her any bargaining rights. Hannah was guilty; I knew it, Luke knew it, and the whole town of Oakland knew it. But to avoid the timeliness and cost of trial, the case was settled without ever reaching the judge. The prosecutor offered her the chance to avoid court by admitting guilt to a lesser charge. She escaped the original charges and her rightful sentence, but she was behind bars nonetheless.

I wasn’t needed to testify.

Neither was Luke.

And neither was Derek. Every part of me had hoped that the case would go to trial; a trial would’ve guaranteed Derek’s return.

So, it was a day of frustrations.

If he had called, I would’ve asked Luke how he felt about Hannah getting a shorter sentence, 25 years for attempted murder, but he’d been dodging my calls left and right.

“Hey, I thought that was you sitting over here all alone,” a familiar voice said behind me. I turned to meet Kara’s smile as she approached and slid into the seat across from mine. “Do you have a second? I wanted to ask you about something.”

Her eyes saddened, but I didn’t want to let on that I understood her pain. Well, I
thought
I understood. From the circles under her eyes to the wrinkles around her lips, it appeared that Kara was stressed. Did she know that Matt had been lying through his teeth?

“Sure,” I dropped my pencil. The sound of it hitting the table echoed through the shelves of Oakland’s Public Library. “What’s up?”

“Okay,” she drew in a large breath, “if you knew something was going on with Matt, something
bad,
you’d tell me, right?” She gnawed on her lower lip and then dropped her head.

I barely managed a whisper, “Has he said something?”

“No,” she said, tears flooding her eyes, “it’s nothing he’s said. It’s just the way he’s acting. He never has time to see me anymore. He’s always rushing to get out of school. When he says he’s working, he’s never at the bistro. And then you seemed too surprised to see me at Frank’s a couple weeks ago. I remembered you saying… maybe you thought… that Matt and I were together.”

“I did,” I swallowed hard, “but that was just an assumption.”

“He told you he was with me, didn’t he?”

Her chest rose with heavy breaths. She posed the question, but I wasn’t entirely sure she really wanted to hear the truth. I had no intention of lying to a friend just to cover Matt’s tracks. Regardless of what Luke thought, Kara deserved to know that her boyfriend was being less than honest.

“Yes, he said he was with you.”

She closed her eyes and a single tear streamed down her cheek.

“Hey,” I reached over and took her hand, “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Thanks Julie, but I think we both know what all this really means.”

“Give him the benefit of the doubt,” I echoed Luke’s advice. “Maybe he’s just—”

“A liar, a cheater, a worthless piece of—”

“Ladies,” Luke’s voice interrupted Kara’s next insult. We both turned to see him approaching our table at the back of the library.

With a quick kiss to the top of my head, he took the seat between us and eyed Kara.

“Did I interrupt something?”

Kara wiped her tears and looked away, avoiding Luke’s stare.

“Hey,” he nearly whispered as he leaned closer to my friend. His protective side took over as he draped his arm around her shoulder. “Kara, what’s wrong?”

“Matt,” she said, now struggling to restrain her tears. She buried her face in his chest as he pulled her closer. “He’s… and I’m… and we’re….”

His eyes widened and he turned to me.

“Julie,” he said, “did you do this?”

“Did I do what?”

“What did you say to her?”

“What did
I
say?” I asked. “Why do you assume that
I
said something?”

“Kara,” he pulled her back to look her straight in the eyes. He lifted her chin and wiped away her tears. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“I wouldn’t say
that
.”

“Julie,” he looked at me from the corner of his eye. After a long glare, he turned back to Kara. “Matt cares about you. Whatever you think is going on, whatever Julie’s told you, put it aside, okay?” She nodded and he wiped away another tear. “It’s never smart to make assumptions without knowing all of the facts.”

“Interesting,” I matched his critical tone, “is that a message for Kara, or for me?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, now turning completely to look at me.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I rolled my eyes. “How ‘bout the lies
you’ve
been telling? Would it be wrong for
me
to assume something without knowing all the facts?”

“Lies?”

“I watched you leave the flower shop, Luke,” I said. “I called you, and you blatantly lied to me about where you were, what you were doing, and you haven’t even bothered returning my call like you said you would.”

“Seriously, Julie?” he shook his head. “Don’t turn this around.”

“Turn what around?” I asked. He nodded at Kara as if I should’ve known what he meant. “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry I said anything, but she asked. I wasn’t going to lie to her… like you lied to me.”

“Julie, I
was
on duty. I
was
on my way to the station to talk to Charlie.”

“Then you could’ve just said
that
.”

“No,” he said, completely ignoring Kara at this point. “I told you that I was swinging by the station.”

“You said you were
at
the station.”

“I don’t have time for this,” he pushed himself up.

“Of course not!”

I wasn’t surprised. Luke never seemed to have time anymore… not for me, anyway. He’d once had an obligation to me, to Charlie. Back then, he didn’t have a choice but to spend time with me. And now, if he didn’t have to, it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to.

“I’ve gotta get back to the station,” he said. “I’ll see you—”

“Wait,” I watched him turn back, “Luke, you owe me an apology.”

“No,” he said. “I don’t, Julie. I’m not going to apologize for your insecurities. I have nothing to hide from you. And if you can’t trust me, well, that’s your problem. Not mine.”

“Wow,” I shook my head, “way to be an ass.”

“Listen,” he took a step closer, “I came by because Matt told me I could find you here. He said you’ve been hitting the books a lot lately—”

“And you would’ve known that if you’d cared to pick up the phone once in a while—”

“Julie,” he said, “I was going to ask you to come to dinner tomorrow night. But offer reneged. I don’t have room in my life for your teenage drama.”

“Luke,” I said, watching him turn and walk away. “
Luke
—”

“Goodbye, Julie.”

I looked back to Kara, and she dropped her shoulders.

“Looks like I’m not the only one getting the raw end, huh?”