Just One More Breath (18 page)

Nicole

I
stirred and rolled over, resting my head into a warm little nook under Shawn’s shoulder. I squeezed him closer to my body. This wonderful, caring, and excruciatingly sexy man was mine. He loved me and I loved him. I smiled, embracing the warm feeling in my heart. For almost a year my heart had been cold, hard, and dead. Thanks to Shawn, it was finally waking up. I let out a contented sigh and a smile spread across my lips. That’s when I felt it.

It started at
my toes, the feeling…a tingle maybe? At first it was weak, but as it traveled upward it gained strength, and my heartbeat picked up.
Was I getting sick?
I pressed my hand to my throat, checking for signs of a fever. My cool fingers were unable to detect a rise my in temperature. I sat up in the bed, desperate to regain my equilibrium. No matter how hard I tried, this feeling was slowly but surely taking over.

When it made its way into
my stomach, I knew exactly what was happening. I wasn’t getting sick, my body’s fight or flight reflexes were taking over. Sadly, happiness had become a foreign emotion to me and my body was fighting it off as if it was a disease.

I
started to tremble—terrified of what would happen to me if this fear won. I didn’t want it to take over; I wanted to feel everything that Shawn was bringing out of me. I wanted to enjoy every beautiful emotion that came along with loving him and being loved by him.

But what if
I couldn’t? What if my fear of losing someone I loved was stronger than the love I felt for this man?

Just then
, panic gripped my throat, forming a blood-curdling scream. A sleeping Shawn unconsciously shifted. He reached for me, as if by habit, and pulled me back down beside him. My ear was placed directly above his heart. And as usual, the strong beat of Shawn’s heart scared away the demons dwelling deep inside me and made everything better. Even in his sleep he could sense when I needed him. Even in his sleep he loved me and cared
for
me.

Shawn

When
I finally woke up I felt happy, happier than I had ever felt in my entire life. Not only was I still flying high from the amazing sex the night before, but also hearing Nicole tell me that she loved me gave me an overwhelmingly fulfilling feeling. My eyes flickered open to find my woman laying on top of me, staring into my eyes.
Yeah…my woman,
I thought to myself and smiled. After years of wanting and wishing, Nicole was finally mine. I gave her a huge deep-dimpled smile; she tried her best to return the smile.

“Good morning
, baby,” I said sweetly as I sat up. Nicole sat up as well and swung her legs off the bed. “Good morning,” she replied dryly.

Immediately
I could tell something was wrong. “Is everything okay?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.

“Everything is great
,” she replied in a voice void of emotion.

I
heard the words, but I didn’t believe them. I became worried that Nicole had changed her mind about us. “You’re not having regrets about last night are you?” I asked sadly.

My
words seemed to shock Nicole.

“What? No
. Of course not,” she insisted. “I just have stuff on my mind.”

I
breathed a sigh of relief. I felt I could deal with any troubles that come our way once we were together. But I can’t deal with Nicole changing her mind about being with me. I’ve waited too long for this. I stood up and Nicole’s eyes immediately dropped to my morning wood. I shot her a sly smile and winked as I walked out of the room. “We,” I pointed from my face to my semi-hard cock, “will be right back. If you need to think, I want to show you the best place to sit and think.”

Nicole’s eyebrows drew together in confusion as
I disappeared into the bathroom.  Although I could tell she wasn’t in an all out panic, I could tell that she felt burdened by something. I stepped back toward the bedroom door and heard her speaking to herself.

“You deserve this Nicole, relax
, and embrace it,” she said while looking at herself in the mirror.
“Jax would want you to be happy.
”

I smile
d to myself and walked back into the bathroom. When I came back into the room. Nicole followed suit by heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth and shower as well. 

I
was lying across the bed shirtless in a pair of boxer briefs. “I didn’t look outside, but I did try to turn on the lights, and we still don’t have any electricity.”

“Well if you didn’t look outside, I won’t either
,” she said before joining me on the bed. “This bubble that we are in is the only thing I care about right now.”

My chest tightened and I planted a lush kiss on her lips.
“I’m sure I have candles somewhere in here, so we should be good.” I lay on my back and pulled her into a straddle position over me, locking our eyes into a look that told her that I could sense her internal struggle.

“No matter how much you try to smile, I can still tell that your mind is going a mile a minute.”

“I know I’m doing a lot of thinking. But, bear with me. I’m trying to shake it off,” she said.

I
moved her up slightly, so that my penis was lined up perfectly with the slit of her pussy. I held firmly onto her hips and gyrated ever so slightly. “Baby, if you need to think, go ahead and think. I just don’t want you to be tense and stressed. Relax and stay calm while you think,” I said, still moving my hips. I reached up and massaged her shoulders while I spoke. “Don’t get yourself too wound up, baby. It won’t help.” I smiled.

Nicole placed her hands on
my chest and kneaded into my firm muscles, using them like her very own stress reliever, while I continued to make our other places touch. Nicole’s pussy grew wetter with every rub, every stroke of my boxer-covered dick on her panty-covered center. I flipped her over so that she was on her stomach beneath me. Then I flattened my body on top of hers. Like a magnet, my erect cock found its way right to Nicole’s sweet spot and she shuddered as they made contact. When I felt her body react I ground myself onto her a few times. Nicole slightly lifted her hips to maximize the contact while the rest of her body melted into the mattress.

After a few moments of humping
, the intoxicating smell of Nicole’s arousal filled my nose, and I could no longer fight it. I shifted onto her back and made my downward descent. When I came face to face with her core, Nicole began to close her legs.

“I’ve
never been this open for a man before,” she admitted. “This is pretty intense.”

I smiled a wicked smile
. “Well brace yourself because things are about to get even more intense.” I winked at her, and then pressed my nose into her panties making a sound of pleasure when I got a whiff of her dripping wet pussy. I planted wet kisses along her bikini line, running my tongue up and down the seams. I slid her panties to the side and ran my tongue over the entire length of her.

"Oh
, God. Shawn," she moaned loudly.

I
chuckled and pulled her panties off completely. "How do you like your pussy to be eaten, sweetheart?" I asked between licks.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Apparently my
wicked tongue actions temporarily paralyzed her vocal cords.

"Ok
ay, well I guess we will have to do trial and error," I whispered to myself right before my head dipped between her legs, and my face found her hotspot. And there was nothing figurative about it; it smelled so good. I literally had my whole face in there. I started at her opening, sliding my tongue in and out a few times, gathering her juices on the tip. Then I moved up to her clit, spreading the wetness all over it. I flicked my tongue lightly over the sensitive nub, and then sucked it into my mouth while using the added moisture to enhance her pleasure.

When
Nicole hit her peak, she screamed my name while I continued to assault her with kisses and sucking. I couldn’t help myself. She tasted so fucking good. When I was done, I lay next to her and she looked at me quietly. She looked drugged. I couldn’t help but smile.

“You ok
ay?” I asked,

She shook her head yes, while still breathing heavily.

“Your voice box broken?” I asked sarcastically.

She nodded again.

“If you don’t start talking soon I’m taking you to the emergency room,” I said. “I’m sure you won’t be the first person to lose your ability to speak after an orgasm.

She laughed, loudly.

“Oh wow, your voice works again?”

She giggled
. “Yes, it does, smartass.”

“Good, you had me worried for a minute. Thought I broke you
,” I said with faux relief.

“I’m sorry
,” she said with a small frown on her face. “It’s not every day that I have a handsome,” she placed a soft kiss on my nose, “Sexy,” she placed another kiss on the side of my mouth, and then she ran her tongue along the seam of my lips to taste herself, “drop-dead gorgeous man pleasuring me in the most intimate way possible. So I needed to focus, and that required silence.” She winked and then sat back. “I may never have that opportunity again.”

“Oh
, believe me sweetheart, if you ever want to experience that again all you have to do is ask.”

Nicole

Shawn crawled out of bed a few hours later and I followed him soon after. I threw on the blue-striped button-down shirt that Shawn had worn to work the day before and headed into the living room. I gasped when I saw how Shawn had transformed his apartment. The entire living room was lit by tea lights and candles, there was a blanket spread on the ground with a few containers of Chinese food and chop sticks, and small Bluetooth speaker was off to the side with John Legend playing softly.

I
took in Shawn’s appearance; he was shirtless with a pair of well-worn jeans that hung low enough on his waist to expose the waistband of his Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. The man looked scrumptious. The most beautiful, dimple-filled smile spread across his face when he saw me, and it made every inch of my body heat and blush.

“Hi,” I said, unable to think of anything else.

“Hi,” he repeated in a similar tone.

He motioned me over to the blanket and I
sat Indian style on the ground next to him. We ate Chicken Lo Mein out of the container with chopsticks and sipped Blue Moon.

“This reminds me of a night when Jax and I went camping
,” I said with a mouthful of food.

“Really?” Shawn asked. “You don’t strike me as the outdoorsy type
, Ms. Evans.”
Oh, he’s calling me by my maiden name.

I
laughed. “Well, we went camping in our backyard. But it was still outdoors. So yes, I am the outdoorsy type,” I said matter-of-factly.

Shawn laughed
. “Okay, tree-hugger.”

A mouthful of beer flew out of
my mouth and I covered it as we both laughed. I reached for a napkin and tried my best to clean up my beer-spit mess.  

“So what did you guys do on your camping adventure?” Shawn asked
.

My
eyes sparkled as the memory came to life. “We roasted marshmallows, which isn’t as easy as it looks. And then we told scary stories.” I paused and thought for a second. “Actually, let me rephrase. Jax told me a story and I tried to act like my child wasn’t scaring the bejesus out of me.”

“Jax knew scary stories? I love scary stories
,” Shawn said. “This kid sounded really awesome.”

“Yep.”
I nodded. “He was,” I said, trying not to get emotional.

“Cool, I want to hear it.”

I took a deep breath; I felt like I was about to retell the scariest tale ever told.

“He made up some story about a crazy cemetery where people would bury their dead animals and they would come back to life. But, instead of getting
back that sweet and loyal Yorkshire terrier, some crazed, rabid, monstrous, and very evil dog replaced it.” I quivered as I spoke. “Those cats, dogs, and birds did some pretty evil things to their owners. They even killed them,” I said.

Shawn looked like he was trying not to laugh
. I guess he didn’t find this story to be very scary.

 
“And then they started burying humans there and the humans were coming back evil as well,” I continued. I was actually shaking at that point; I had a really good visual of this story going on in my head. “I’m telling you, Shawn, I was so traumatized by his little made-up story that I couldn’t sleep for days,” I admitted. “Where the hell would a child come up with such a story?”

At that point Shawn
was actually laughing. “Well, Nicole, I think I have an idea where Jax came up with that story.”  

“Where?”
I asked, genuinely perturbed.

“Well, there was a movie that came out in the late eighties called
,
Pet Sematary
.”

My
head tilted to the side, I still didn’t understand what Shawn was getting at.

“I’d be willing to bet big bucks that Jax
had seen that movie.” There was a long pause and then I burst into laughter as well. A good laugh, one that originated in the pit of my stomach.

Shawn soon joined
me. “Your son was hilarious, Nicole.”

“I know, he sure
…was.” I smiled a bittersweet smile and a few tears fell from my eyes. Shawn pulled me into his chest and guided my body into a standing position while he hugged me.

I
tried desperately to brush the tears away. “I’m sorry, Shawn, I know you’re getting tired of seeing me cry. Just give me a moment to pull myself together.” I tried to pull away, but Shawn held me close.

He brought his hands up to
my face, and stared directly into my eyes. “Nicole, I could never get tired of anything about you. I love you and that means I love everything about you, even these tears,” he said, as he kissed my wet cheek.

Yes, he
had seen many tears. Shawn had seen me at my lowest and most vulnerable times and he had never once shown me anything but love and tenderness.

He
was about to continue speaking when the sweet sound of John Legend’s fingers playing the piano seeped through the small speaker, halting his words.

I
tried again to shift my face, but Shawn’s hands slid back into my long curly hair and continued to hold me in place. Staring at me so deeply it was as if he was looking into my soul. As John Legend began to sing, Shawn began to sway and my body began to move along with his.

I
relaxed in his hold and ran my hands over his back and slipped them into the back pockets of his jeans. Although John’s voice was angelic, it was the sweet sound of Shawn humming the lyrics to “All of Me” that soothed me.

I
gazed at him lovingly and silently thanked God for giving me this wonderful man. I vaguely noticed the tea lights around us beginning to burn out one by one, making the room darker and darker with each passing second. It became increasing difficult to see Shawn. I closed my eyes and I could still hear him, but most importantly I could still feel him. I could always feel him.

The song ended with Shawn bringing his lips to
my ear while he softly sang

“I give you all of me
and you give me all of you.”

I
exhaled deeply with a huge grin, and then wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. He lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as I opened my eyes. Although the lack of light made it impossible for me to see, everything in my life had become crystal clear. Over the last few months, Shawn had taken my hand to lead me out of the darkness and back into the light, saving me. But tonight, while he touched me, holding me close, he owned my mind, body, and soul while dancing me into the darkness. Only this time, the darkness felt…perfect.