Just Stay (12 page)

"I don't remember you complaining before," Evan says, his voice low, just by Seb's ear, and Seb's body reacts so intensely that he's kind of surprised he's still in solid form and didn't just melt into liquid under Evan's touch.

He takes a deep breath, half-closing his eyes.

"I'm not," he says, aware of how breathless he sounds. "I'm just saying."

Evan kisses his neck, and Seb closes his eyes completely this time.
Oh god.
It's unbelievable what one touch from Evan can do to him, how one kiss can make him completely fall to pieces.

"So you don't mind not getting any sleep?" Evan asks, practically purring against Seb's skin, making all the signals in his brain go haywire.

I should mind
, Seb thinks. God knows, he has been constantly tired and unable to focus during lectures, ever since a few days ago, when Evan suddenly, unbelievably, made his move. Ever since then, they've spent pretty much every waking moment together. And the
non
-waking moments, as it were, either at Seb's place or Evan's.

At first, they honestly did try to take things slow, to ease into this shift in their relationship; it's a pretty big deal, after all. Even ignoring the fact that neither of them has fallen for, or even been with, a guy before, they did become really good friends before all this happened, and just switching over to another dynamic was a bit daunting.

Or, at least they thought it would be. It took about forty minutes of video gaming that first day, before Seb accidentally looked at Evan for too long, and Evan basically attacked him. They spent pretty much the rest of that day just making out on Evan's couch. Not that Seb minded. He
really
didn't.

"It is hugely impractical," Seb mutters, losing himself in the way Evan smells, the way his lips feel against his skin, the way his hands burn through his t-shirt. "How am I supposed to get anything done?"

Evan ignores him; he seems to be too focused on just brushing his lips against Seb's neck, inhaling slowly, as though taking in his scent. His hands are moving downward, along Seb's chest, down over his stomach, slowly moving down to his thigh. Seb keeps his eyes closed.

"Evan," he murmurs, almost warningly, as though about to say something else, and Evan makes a sound of acknowledgement against his skin. But Seb doesn't say anything else―his brain is suddenly wrapped up in a thick haze.

He has stopped tapping with his pen, and he leans back in his chair, Evan standing behind him.

Evan seems to take Seb's silence as encouragement, and while one hand stays on Seb's stomach, the other moves down over his thigh, making its way along the inside of his leg. Seb is sitting rather lazily, legs slightly spread, and he's fully aware of how Evan's hand feels through his jeans. It makes him tense up, it makes his heart pound. It makes him squirm, and it makes him hard.

He's too distracted by the whole sensation of it to notice, but Evan notices, because he slowly, hesitantly even, moves his hand closer to Seb's crotch. Closer to the bulge that the jeans are doing a half-assed job at keeping down. And the closer Evan gets, the heavier Seb breathes, until Evan slowly starts massaging him there, making Seb actually gasp through gritted teeth. This is new.

Alright, not exactly
new
new, but new enough. Even though Seb has had his share of sexual experience, as well as Evan (because he most
definitely
has), this is whole new territory to both of them, and it makes the whole thing unsure and hesitant, while simultaneously being insanely hot.

And they haven't actually gone very far, yet. Despite spending so much time together these past few days, not much like this has happened, so far. Sure, there has been some heavy making out, actually sleeping together in the same bed, some heavy groping. But that's mostly it; sleeping. They've held each other, kissed each other sleepily, nuzzled against the warm comfort of each other's skin. But hardly anything like this. Seb isn't even sure if it's because they're both new to it, or because whatever they have together feels... pure.

Seb is startled as the word comes to him, but it feels oddly in place. And why shouldn't it? Seb has never been in love before. Not like this, not like he is with Evan. Somehow, he feels like he wants to get it right. He doesn't want to rush anything. He wants it slow and hot, so that he can savor every moment of it and draw it out for as long as humanly possible.

But that is suddenly very difficult to do, as he feels Evan's hand against him, massaging, using just the right amount of pressure. Seb breathes heavily. He drops the pen from his hand, making it hit the desk surface with a clatter.

"Evan," he breathes, but Evan just kisses his neck, his shoulder, the outline of his jaw, the sensitive skin just below his ear.

"You work too hard," Evan says, his voice low and hoarse, purring into Seb's ear. Seb barely pays attention to his words, as that hand between his legs slowly slips in underneath the hem of his jeans. "You need to relax."

Seb lets out a sharp breath, as Evan touches him again, but this time only with a thin barrier of cotton between his hand and Seb's erection. And he starts massaging again, making Seb tilt his head back, eyes closed, one hand absently curling into a fist. He's breathing a bit faster now, heavier.

Evan's lips are right by his ear, and Seb can hear how he's breathing heavier, too, brushing his lips against Seb's skin. He kisses Seb's neck, but more intensely now, eagerly, smoothing over certain points with the slightest sweep of his tongue. Seb swallows hard, licks his lips, his mouth falling half-open.

"Oh god," he hears himself breathe, and it seems to spur Evan on, because he moans against Seb's skin, his touch intensifying. Seb suddenly notices how Evan's other hand is pinning his hips down against the chair; Seb has started gyrating slightly against Evan's teasing touch, wanting more. He feels like he's getting closer to the edge, agonizingly close.

"Evan," Seb breathes again, more urgently this time, intending to ask him to stop, before this goes too far. But Evan either doesn't want to listen, or he misinterprets Seb's plea, because instead of stopping, he leans down and covers Seb's mouth with his own. And whatever thoughts Seb just had about maybe stopping, immediately vanish.

Evan's tongue is suddenly in his mouth, his lips soft and firm against his, and Seb feels his breath catch. Shit. This feels too good, too unbelievably good.
Shit.

But just as Seb braces himself for the inevitable outcome of this whole thing, it's as though Evan just
knows
, because he suddenly stops, leaving Seb hanging on the edge.

Evan pulls his mouth away with just a fraction of an inch, and Seb opens his eyes. Evan glances down at his hand, which is still in Seb's pants, and then he smiles, in the most smug, amused way. Seb narrows his eyes at him, and Evan chuckles.

"What?" he asks, amused. "I don't see a problem."

Seb squeezes his eyes shut with a sigh, before looking up at him.

"I hate you," he says. "So much."

Evan can tell he doesn't mean it; the way his annoyance thinly veils such utter affection is a dead giveaway.

"Sure you do," Evan replies, kissing him. It's a lingering kiss, the soft kind. "I can tell."

He adds that last part with a suggestive eyebrow-raise, and Seb groans.

"Get your hand out of my pants," he says, and Evan chuckles again.

"I think you like my hand in your pants," he retorts, and Seb grits his teeth slightly, as he's reminded of it. Evan's hand does feel really good against him, even though his hard-on is actually getting uncomfortable now, and very distracting.

"Yeah," he says. "A bit too much, evidently."

Evan smiles at him, looking down at him, half-upside down from Seb's point of view. Then he slowly does pull his hand out of Seb's pants, and Seb exhales.

"What?" he said snappily, as he sees Evan's expression; he's looking way too smug.

"Nothing," Evan says innocently, planting a kiss on Seb's lips. "Nothing at all."

He straightens and moves away from the chair, clapping Seb on the shoulder casually.

"Now, get back to work," he says, and Seb just gapes at thin air, frowning.

"I'm sorry, what?" he says. Evan makes his way back over to Seb's bed, throwing himself down onto it with a pleased exhale.

"Nothing," he says, folding his arms behind his head, and Seb slowly spins around in his chair, so that he faces him.

As though Evan moving away from him was some kind of trigger, he's suddenly acutely aware of how his whole body seems to be vibrating, aching for release, wanting Evan to finish what he started. And Seb just stares at him suspiciously for a few moments, taking in the sight of him.

How was he ever able to not
always
pay attention to just how fucking
hot
Evan is?

Seb gets up from his chair then and makes his way over to the bed, Evan looking at him, half-expectant and half-surprised. He looks very comfortable, lying there.

"You're so full of shit," Seb says, before joining him, and Evan laughs.

"I like to think of it as part of my charm," he says, scooting over so that Seb can lie down beside him. "And it worked, didn't it?"

Seb frowns.

"What did?" he asks, and Evan turns to him pointedly. They're both lying on their backs.

"I got your attention," he says with a suggestive smile, and Seb can't help but surrender a smile back.

"You did," he says.

Speaking of
, he thinks, he is an amazing testament to discipline, lying here next to Evan, with a very distracting boner. He could just attack him. God knows, he wants to. But he doesn't, and he sighs inwardly. For some reason, he feels like such a
virgin
, when it comes to this guy.

It's silent for a few moments, and Seb closes his eyes. It feels good, just lying here, just having Evan right next to him. He doesn't think he has ever really liked that as much before, with anyone, just lying there. But with Evan, it feels natural, soft and easy.

"Can I ask you something?"

Seb murmurs in acknowledgement as Evan speaks.

"What's up with that?" Evan asks, and Seb opens his eyes. Evan nods at the poster on the wall above the bed.

"What?" Seb says, confused, and Evan half-shrugs, which looks funny, seeing as how he's currently lying down on his back.

"Poe," Evan clarifies. "Why do you like him so much?"

Seb flicks his blue gaze over to the poster, the one Evan read and quoted from the night they first met. The memory makes Seb feel all warm inside.

"I don't know," he says. "Why?"

"He's just so depressing," Evan says, and Seb frowns.

"Not all the time," he retorts. "And his writing's not depressing, it's... hauntingly beautiful."

Evan snorts.

"Dude, you're so emo," he says, smiling, and Seb raises an eyebrow at him.

"Don't you dare," he says. "No one even says that anymore."

He smiles to himself a little, though, while refusing to admit how cheesy he did in fact sound, just now.

"And you're the emo one," he says. "With your guitar and your torn jeans and your singing."

Seb doesn't mention how he loves all those things about Evan, but it doesn't need saying.

"No, I'm
brooding
," Evan clarifies, before looking at Seb with a mischievous smile on his face. "Way hotter."

"Are you saying I'm not hot?" Seb says in mock hurt, and Evan raises his eyebrows.

"That's not even close to what I'm saying," he says, smiling. "I'm just saying that as a musician, I have the right to be brooding. It's like a prerequisite."

Seb raises his eyebrows and cocks his head, turning his gaze to the ceiling.

"Clearly you don't know what being a writer means," he says, and Evan smiles.

"Fair enough," he admits. "What else do you like?"

Seb turns to look at him, surprised. They are lying right next to each other, here on Seb's bed. Evan is so close that Seb could have counted every tiny freckle on his face.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Writing-wise," Evan clarifies. "What else do you like? Any fun stuff, or is it all death and sad and
haunting beauty
?"

He says the last few words mockingly, and Seb narrows his eyes at him.

"I do like other stuff," he says. Then he frowns. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I want to know you," Evan says simply, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I want to know what you like, what you don't like."

Seb just looks at him. It's so weird how he loves hearing Evan say that.

"Well," he says, thinking. "I like Robert Frost, too."

Evan frowns.

"Name rings a bell," he says.

"It should," Seb says, as though personally offended by the lack of literature education among people, as he rolls over onto his side, still facing Evan. "He's amazing."

"If you say so," Evan smiles. He seems to like it when Seb gets passionate about something, even at such a small degree. "What's he done?"

Seb hesitates.

"
'The woods are lovely,
" he recites, "
'dark and deep. But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep.'
"

He's a bit startled at his own words, but he can't help it. Apart from skipping the repeated last line, those are some of his favorite lines of anything ever, and he has the entire poem memorized.

Evan just looks at him for a moment.

"I like it," he says. "Very emo."

Seb actually punches him in the arm lightly, and Evan laughs.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm being an ass, I'm sorry."

Seb settles down again, his elbow under his head, and Evan rolls over onto his side, too. They are facing each other properly, now.

"It was nice, though," Evan says, seriously. "I see the appeal."

"Yeah," Seb says, forgiving him. "What about you?"

Evan makes a face.

"What about me?" he says, and Seb
almost
rolls his eyes.

"What do you like?"

Evan thinks about it, his eyes wandering.