Just Stay (34 page)

Evan laughs then, breathlessly, smoothing his hands over Seb's body, kissing him, grinding against him with such slow, sweet urgency that it makes Seb's head start spinning again.

Seb could just stay like that forever, the two of them entwined, wrapped up in the heat and urgency and the exquisite sensation of skin on hot skin. But he wants more. He
needs
more, needs to remedy the ache he has been feeling for the past several days.

He needs
Evan
,
all
of him.

It's without saying anything that Seb grabs onto Evan and simply rolls them both over, so that Evan ends up on his back, instead. He looks only slightly surprised; this isn't how they usually do things. A lot of the time, Evan is the one in charge, so to speak, Seb only occasionally taking on that role. But tonight, he won't have it any other way, and Evan isn't exactly about to go against him on that.

Seb pauses for a second. It's dark, the light from the hallway just enough to let him see Evan properly, and for a moment, he just stares. He sits there, straddling Evan, chest rising and falling heavily, and just lets his eyes take in the perfect, gorgeous epiphany of the man in front of him, underneath him. Evan is so beautiful, like he always has been. So beautiful.

And he is
his
.

Seb moves down to once again claim Evan's lips with his own, feeling Evan's splayed fingers pushing down against his back, pulling him against him, their chests pressing together. It's the best feeling in the world, urgent and perfect, heightened by the fact that Seb has felt as though he would never get to feel it again, and he maps out Evan's body with his hands, desperate to make sure he's still there, still real.

It's with hands just slightly fumbling from eagerness, that Seb moves down to pull off Evan's boxers, and Evan helps out by arching his hips a bit, so Seb can get them off properly and throw them away, landing them somewhere on the floor. Evan is as hard as he is, that much is obvious, and Seb finds himself moaning absently, as he feels it against his stomach, Evan tensing up and sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth.

"Would you get these off?" Evan breathes, tugging at Seb's underwear, and Seb actually laughs.

"Would you relax?" he says, kissing him, placing his hands against the mattress, on either side of Evan's head. Evan laughs against his lips, slipping his hands underneath the hem of Seb's boxers.

"Just trying to expedite things," he says, smiling, and Seb moans as he feels Evan's hands slowly pulling his underwear down. "Hardly seems fair, does it?"

"Fine," Seb grumbles, and Evan chuckles, as Seb through some quick maneuvering gets his underwear off and throws them away. He doesn't waste a second in reclaiming Evan's mouth, though, and as soon as he presses down against him, it's as though someone just injected fire into his veins. Just the feeling of Evan's hardness against his own is nearly enough to send him over the edge.

They don't say much after that, they don't need to. Instead, Seb keeps his lips practically glued to Evan's, as he leans over to the nightstand and opens the drawer. They generally don't use a condom, only do it when they don't want to make too much of a mess, really, and Seb generally doesn't care. This time, though, he cares. He doesn't want anything between them, this time, not even the thinnest layer of latex, so as he digs through the drawer, it's the lube he's going for.

He would draw this out, if he could. Hell, he wants to do so many things to Evan right now, but it's as though his body was screaming at him not to, screaming at him to just go for it. And Evan doesn't seem to mind at all, at least not judging from the way he groans loudly, as Seb pushes a slick finger inside him, hands scrabbling for purchase all over the sheets as well as Seb's body.

"Oh, shit," Evan murmurs, breath hot against Seb's neck. "God, I missed you."

Seb wants to say it back―mostly because he feels the same way so strongly that it's almost painful―but Evan barely gives him a chance to say anything. Instead, he just reclaims his mouth, biting his lip and pushing in his tongue, eager and possessive, making Seb ache with restrained release, as he adds another finger. And the way Evan tenses and arches up against him, is almost enough to make him come, right there. Almost.

"Do it," Evan suddenly breathes, and Seb's eyes fly open at the sheer intensity of his plea. "Now."

Seb swallows dryly.

"Evan―"

"Just fuck me, Seb." Evan pulls him closer, his grip digging into Seb's dark hair, hips arching for more proximity, moving against the pressure of Seb's fingers. "I want to forget about everything but you."

Seb is stunned for a moment. Evan doesn't usually talk like that. Hell, he isn't even usually the one in a position
to say
something like that, and it's simply unusual. Unusual, surprising, and different.

And it makes Seb more turned on than he can remember being in a very long time.

Seb would have maybe preferred to keep going a little bit longer, stretching and scissoring with his fingers; even though he can hardly wait, he doesn't want to risk hurting Evan. But the way Evan practically begs him to move things along,  and the way he's practically squirming underneath him, seemingly going crazy from Seb's touch, makes it very difficult to wait. So Seb doesn't.

Just prepping himself with lube is bad enough, the slick sensation so good he has to close his eyes. He has no idea how he's going to last more than a second, at this point.

"Come on, Seb," Evan breathes, skimming his hands all over Seb's skin, as though unable to decide where to apply their pressure, and Seb takes a deep breath. He can barely take it when Evan sounds like that, so desperate and hot and completely wrecked. "Come on, I need you."

Pushing in is effortless. It's hot and tight, but the lube and preparation make it easier, and Seb lets out a loud groan, as he bottoms out.

And Evan is already a mess beneath him, arching his hips and opening his mouth in long, deep moan that sounds like he's balancing somewhere between pleasure and pain. Seb stills for a moment, about to ask if he's okay, but Evan doesn't let him. Instead, he surprises Seb by pulling him closer, fingers digging into his hair, crushing his mouth against his own and using his other hand to press Seb's hips downward, more roughly and with more force than Seb anticipated.

Not that he minds, at all.

Seb had no idea that it could be this good, that it could feel so new and intense, even though they have done this so many times before. He had no idea that it could feel so downright
perfect
, Evan moaning with every thrust that Seb lays into him, gripping his shoulders so tightly it almost hurts, sliding his hands down to his ass, pushing him in even deeper, as though that were possible.

He didn't know how amazing it would feel, to have Evan here again, desperately moving against him, so perfect and gorgeous, hot skin slick with sweat.

He isn't sure how he ever would have been able to survive without this.

It isn't going to last long, though, that much he knew from the start. At this rate, he feels like they're both going to fall apart in a matter of seconds.

"Evan." He doesn't know why he says it, only that it's all he can think of, breathing it, exhaling it. "Evan."

And Evan responds by gripping him tighter, burrowing his face against his shoulder, biting out incoherent moans and sounds, until suddenly, finally, his entire body goes rigid. Seb can feel the warmth of it against his stomach, as Evan lets out a sound that Seb has never really heard him make before, and the way Evan tenses up around him is enough to make Seb shudder and groan, as he comes.

It's the most amazing thing, like the most intense shot of the most intense drug, and it takes several, long seconds, before Seb finally comes back down, shivering, collapsing against Evan's body. And neither of them moves for several more seconds, until Evan moves one hand up to pull his shaking fingers through Seb's damp hair, which is sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck.

"Fuck, that was amazing." Evan's voice sounds broken, cracked, and completely exhausted, and Seb summons the strength to actually lift his head from the crook of Evan's neck, and look at him.

"Not awesome?" he pants, and Evan quirks a smile.

"You've told me not to use that," he says, and Seb cocks his head.

"Fair enough," he says, swallowing dryly. He looks at Evan's smiling face for a moment longer, those fingers still pulling through his hair, before his exhaustion gets the better of him, and he drops his head to Evan's neck again. Evan laughs, the sound rumbling through his body, and Seb closes his eyes.

"But if it helps," Evan says, "it was awesome."

He plants a soft kiss against Seb's hair.

"Just like you."

Seb means to exhale, but it comes out so heavily that it turns into a groan, and he lazily kisses Evan's throat. It's the only spot he can reach without moving, and he feels like he doesn't want to move for weeks.

"God, you're adorable," Evan says, laughing, and Seb groans on purpose, this time.

"Am not," he murmurs, muffled against Evan's neck.

"Yes, you are." Evan nudges him slightly, so that Seb actually lifts his head up again, and Evan takes his face in his hands. He pushes Seb's hair back from his forehead, and Seb closes his eyes for a moment; the gesture feels so safe and so familiar that it feels like he might cry.

"And you're beautiful," Evan says. Seb opens his eyes again. Evan's green ones are looking back at him, utter devotion and adoration in their expression. "And amazing."

He kisses him softly, leaning their foreheads together.

"And so much better than I deserve."

Seb exhales slowly, closing his eyes. He moves one hand up so he can touch Evan's face, feeling that familiar stubble beneath his fingertips.

"Just stay," he says, his voice just above a whisper. And Evan kisses his forehead, as Seb puts his head down against his shoulder, and his voice is soft, when he replies.

"Always."

Chapter 21

Coffee

Waking up with Evan by his side is something Seb was honestly afraid he would never get to experience again, and it's simply glorious. That being said, his utter joy at feeling his boyfriend's warm shape against his skin only manages to hold off his worries for about a minute.

They still have a lot to talk about, after all.

Evan is still sleeping, apparently, at least judging from the heavy breathing that borders on snoring, and Seb smiles a bit, as he hears it. Evan doesn't usually snore, but it is, weirdly, something that Seb suddenly appreciates. It means that Evan is really here, in their shared bed, and he is cuddled up against Seb so close that it makes a warm feeling settle somewhere in Seb's stomach.

God
, he missed him.

It's with some reluctance that Seb slowly slides out of bed, eyes on Evan, as he does. Evan doesn't wake up, but absently gropes at the sheets as Seb's warm body disappears, seemingly uncomfortable at the sudden absence of it. But he stays asleep, and Seb backs away from the bed.

He's still naked, but doesn't really think about it, as he makes his way out of the bedroom and into the hallway outside. The first thing he spots there is Evan's button-up shirt, rumpled on the floor, only a few feet away from the boots that were discarded somewhere along the way. Seb can't help but smile, and he picks up the shirt. It's still wet, damp from the heavy rain, and he brings it with him as he goes into the bathroom. There, he hangs it over the bar on the wall which is normally for towels, and turns on the shower.

Seb takes his time in the shower, still half-asleep, and he has no idea how long he has been in there by the time he's done. It feels good, though, and he relishes the feeling of soft cotton against his skin, as he wraps a towel around him. He feels warm and soft and clean, and so relaxed, it's ridiculous. He hasn't felt this good in days.

The bathroom door is ajar―neither he nor Evan really have a habit of closing it properly while showering, seeing as how they don't really have any boundaries, living together, and all―and as soon as Seb pushes it open, he feels himself perk up. There is the distinct smell of coffee in the air, and he keeps the towel wrapped around his hips as he pads out into the kitchen. The sight that meets him is enough to make his chest somehow feel like it's bursting with joy, for a moment.

"Hey," Evan says, as he spots him, and smiles. There is something tentative about his smile, though, as though unsure whether or not Seb is happy with him.

But Seb smiles back, and makes his way over to him.

"Good morning," he says, and dares to lean in and kiss his boyfriend on the mouth. And Evan doesn't flinch, not the slightest bit. Instead, he leans into the kiss, and it makes Seb feel oddly relieved.

Evan's slightly tentative look dissipates as they pull apart, but it's still there, and Seb just looks at him.

"Uh, I made coffee," Evan says after a moment, seemingly fumbling slightly, as he looks over at the coffee maker. And Seb can't help but smile a little, amused.

"Thanks," he says, reaching for the cupboard where they keep the mugs, but Evan stops him.

"I got it," he says. "You, sit."

Seb frowns, but doesn't argue. It isn't really like Evan to be so bossy, but he seems to really want to do something nice for Seb, so Seb lets him. And he doesn't mention it, as he makes his way over to the kitchen table. He has just sat down, when Evan makes a humming noise, looking at the cupboard's contents, as he opens it.

"What?" Seb says, and Evan frowns.

"Are we missing some glasses?" he says, as though hesitant, like it might be a stupid question, and Seb frowns for a moment, before he remembers.

"Uh, yeah," he says, a bit sheepishly. "Two, actually. I may have thrown them into a wall."

Evan looks over at him, puzzled and surprised, and Seb cocks his eyebrows, along with a small, half-shrug. He isn't exactly proud of that, the rage-fit he had the other night, and he had almost managed to forget about it.