Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 1.1 - Sometimes You Just Know (12 page)

Justin wants to swear in appreciation, wants to be able to say something,
anything
, but he doesn't want to abandon his attentions to Dan's finger, in case Dan thinks it's a suggestion for the same treatment. Instead, he sets up a steady rhythm, sucking hard and steady, using his tongue along the bottom, experimenting. He's had blowjobs before, of course, but it's always been a fundamentally passive experience, maybe a little thrusting or head-grabbing, but nothing like this, this fine-tuned, totally interactivity. He's learning as much about himself as Dan is, trying things that he's wanted guys to do but never been able to put into words.

He brushes with his teeth, just a little, pulls right off and then plunges in deep, sucks hard, sucks soft, changes the angle, changes the speed… everything he can think of, Dan mimics enthusiastically. It's over far too soon, of course; Justin was near the edge when they started, and it's only the fact that it's the third time he's come in as many hours that lets him last long enough to keep from embarrassing himself. Justin is grateful

that Dan has enough common sense to not bite Justin's cock when Justin’s teeth spasm onto his finger, his breath gasping around it as he shoots into Dan's welcoming mouth.

Justin feels like he's sucking himself through his own aftershocks, easing up when it gets to sensitive, and finally gently pushing the finger out of his mouth. He reaches down and finds Dan's hair, uses it to pull Dan up along his body until they're lined up again, Dan lying on his side and leaning over Justin. Justin pulls their heads together, tastes himself in Dan's mouth and smiles. "That was incredible. I want to do that again."

Dan smiles back. "What, now? That's pretty impressive." "No, not now…unfortunately." He runs a hand down Dan's ribs, then notices that the skin there is pinker than it was. "Shit, Dan! Are you getting a sunburn?"
Dan glances down at himself and sighs. "Yeah, probably."
Justin sits up and starts looking for clothes. "Shit, I'm sorry. Does it hurt?"
Dan just laughs. "Nah, don't worry. It's nothing. You should have seen some of the burns I got when I was little."
"Well, yeah, okay, but just because it's not as bad as it could be doesn't mean it's good." Justin finds Dan's shirt, starting to crust a bit from its earlier use in mopping up. Shit. He reaches for his own shirt instead, and tosses it over. "Here, put this on—I don't burn, so I can ride down shirtless."
"Dude, you don't have to…"
"Dan, get dressed. I like your skin the way it is, not all blistered and oozing."
Dan gives him a look but pulls the shirt on anyway, and Justin hands over underwear and jeans. He takes a moment to enjoy the sight of his shirt on Dan, then focuses on getting dressed himself. By the time he's done, Dan has wandered over to where the horses are grazing, and he's

guiltily.
"We should have untacked them. I didn't think we'd be up here so
long."
Justin glances at the animals. "Nah, they're okay. We probably
shouldn't make a habit of it, but…." He leans in and catches Dan's lips
with his. "We should absolutely make a habit of everything else." Dan's smile is so bashful that Justin expects the guy to start scuffing
the ground with his foot and saying 'aw shucks.' Instead, he nods and then
turns back to Bailey, checking that his saddle hasn't shifted or become
uncomfortable. "Should we head back down?"
Justin really doesn't want to leave the hill, but he knows they can't
stay up there forever. "Yeah, I guess." He moves over to Titan and gives
his tack a quick once-over before swinging up into the saddle. The ride down is fairly quiet. Justin points out a few landmarks that
they hadn't paid attention to on the way up, and Dan has a bout of notentirely-manly giggles when he's walking in front of Justin on the single
file path and Bailey has a farting fit. Justin consoles himself by noticing
the way Dan keeps sneaking peeks at Justin's torso, bare except for the
dirty shirt tossed over his shoulder.
There's nobody at the barn when they arrive, and Justin nips upstairs
to grab a new shirt. While he's there, he tosses Dan's last load of wet
clothes into the dryer, and puts a load of his own clothes into the washing
machine, adding Dan's dirty shirt. Justin likes the idea of their clothes
wrapping around each other in the wash, and maybe he likes having
another reason to keep Dan around, waiting for that shirt to dry. He isn't upstairs for long, but when he comes back down he hears
voices in the barn and wonders if he was gone too long. He turns the
corner to see Dan standing beside Bailey, facing both of Justin's parents,
neither of whom seem too pleased at finding an unsupervised visitor in
their barn. Dan has his game face on, a polite mask that still allows him to
show a not-so-subtle disdain for the perceived authority in front of him. Justin really wishes he'd found a better way to manage this introduction,

but it's a little late now.
"Hey, you guys met!" Justin knows that his false joviality isn't likely
to fool any of the people in the barn, but he decides to stick with it
anyway. "Did you get names exchanged? Dan, you know my mother,
Molly, and this is my father, Karl." He turns to his parents and moves a
little closer to Dan. "Dan and I went for a ride up the hill—and we took
Bailey over a few jumps on the way, and he's really looking good! I was
planning to talk to you all, see about getting Dan to take him to a few
events, if he's interested…show off the horse a bit, get some offers
moving…" Justin trails off as he sees the hostility in Molly's eyes. "Yes, that's a specialty of yours, isn't it, Dan? Making horses look
better than they really are?" Molly's tone is cutting.
Dan shrugs casually, combing his fingers through Bailey's mane in
an almost proprietary way. "Isn't that what every rider tries to do?" Molly hesitates, caught by that simple truth, and Justin jumps in.
"Yeah, you should have seen it, Dad…we went over the course along the
west field, and Bailey was jumping like he was having a great time." He
half turns to catch Dan's eye. "It was really impressive."
Karl nods cautiously, obviously not wanting to get into the middle of
whatever is going on between his wife and his son. "Well, that's great.
He's always had the talent."
Justin nods, then moves over towards Titan. "We'll just finish up
grooming and then turn them out…"
Molly cuts her eyes towards Justin's horse. "How was Titan over the
jumps? Is he still trying to drift off to the sides?"
"Uh…I only took him over a few. We focused more on Bailey…." "Really? Justin, we're selling Bailey. Titan's the horse we should be
focusing on."
Justin can almost feel his hackles rising, but he tries to speak in a
calm tone. He really doesn't want to start a family power-struggle in front

Molly seems to be trying to keep herself calm as well, which Justin appreciates. "Well, you'll be training him tomorrow, right?"
"Uh, I haven't checked the schedule yet, but, yeah, if he's on it…"
Molly nods, then turns to Karl. "Do you want to have a look at that leg?" She heads down the barn aisle, and Karl nods goodbye to Dan and Justin before following her.
Justin moves over to Dan immediately, resting his hand on Bailey's neck near Dan's. "Sorry about that. She's not normally so tense, she's just… you know, a little unsure."
"It's fine, man, don't worry about it." Dan smiles, the smooth, bullshitting mask, and Justin wants to punch something. "Should I grab the lead ropes?"
"No, Dan…." Justin doesn't really have the words figured out yet, hasn't had the conversation he needs to have to make Dan understand that he knows about the mask, and doesn't want Dan to have to use it.
"No ropes?" Dan must know what Justin means, but apparently he doesn't want to talk about it.
"No, of course lead ropes. I just…." Justin shakes his head. "Shit, Dan, help me out here, will ya?"
Dan freezes for a minute, and then looks back at Justin. "What do you want me to say, man?" His smile is real, but tired. "If I was your mother, I wouldn't want you hanging around me either. Wouldn't be thrilled to walk into my barn and find a guy like me there."
"A guy like you? Bullshit, Dan, what does that mean? You're a good guy." Justin tries to put his arm around Dan, but he jerks away.
Dan stares at him for a second, then his face twists into a sneer. "What the hell do you know about what kind of guy I am? Jesus, Justin, think with your head, not your dick. You don't know me at all!"

head back in response. "No, Dan, I do. I mean, not as well as I want to, but…."
Dan shakes his head. "You think you do, maybe."
"No, I…"
Dan moves around to Bailey's other side, and leans on the horse as if for strength. "It's been fun, Justin, but, you know…."
"No." Justin hears his voice come out as if someone else is speaking. It seems deeper, somehow, resonating from his chest. Dan seems to notice the change, looking startled as he turns towards Justin. "No. Don't give up, Dan." Justin ducks around to Dan's side, standing as close as he can without actually touching. "Stop running away all the time." His voice softens, but Justin still feels curiously removed, as if his body has been taken over. "Don't let outside stuff get in the way of you and me. Don't let it happen, man."
Dan is still staring, and then he frowns. "But it's not really outside stuff. I mean, if I'm not a good person…."
"No." Justin shakes his head, and Dan is listening to him, at least. "Maybe you've done some bad stuff, I don't know. And I don't care, because you're not a bad person." Justin doesn't really know how he's so sure of this; partly because he doesn't really believe in 'bad' people, from a philosophical perspective, but mostly because he
does
believe in Dan. He smiles gently. "It's like I said, man—no one who's this good with horses can be all bad."
Dan looks Justin in the eyes, and then smiles a little himself. "Well, not
all
bad."
Justin takes the chance and reaches his hand out to brush against Dan's face. "See? There you go." He leans in slowly and carefully, and Dan doesn't pull back. Justin gives him a gentle kiss, and whispers, "Don't run away."
Dan leans against Bailey's neck and looks out at Justin. "Yeah…" he whispers. "I'll try."

Dan decides to head home soon after they put the horses in the paddock. He's not running, exactly, but he's not lingering either. Justin tries to convince him to stay a little longer, even uses the T-shirt still in the wash as an excuse, but Dan just shakes his head.

"It's not a big deal—if I liked the shirt that much, it wouldn't still have been clean for me to wear it on laundry day, you know?" He's stuffing his clean clothes back in the duffel bag; Justin hasn't noticed Dan looking particularly wrinkled in the past, so he assumes that the clothes will be put away properly at some point. They're mostly jeans and Tshirts anyway, so it probably isn't a big deal. Still, Justin's fingers itch to put a couple of the shirts on hangers…
his
hangers, in
his
closet. Jesus, maybe it's just as well that Dan is leaving, to let Justin get a little self-control back. A little perspective.

But then Dan glances over at him and smiles his quiet smile, and Justin changes his mind. Perspective is overrated—Justin wants
Dan
.
"Hey, Dan, I wasn't just talking about you doing some work with Bailey. Where are you working now?" Justin frowns, suddenly aware of how little he knows about Dan's life. "The bar, and you were picking up a horse…."
Dan's face shifts so quickly Justin can barely keep up, going from tentatively open to defensively closed. "I work here and there. A lot of part-time stuff, you know, helping out as needed."
Justin nods, not sure what set off Dan's alarms. "Okay, that's cool— maybe you could freelance for us a bit, work with Bailey."
Dan snorts. "Yeah, I'm sure your mother would love that idea."
Justin can't deny that Dan has a point, but, "She can live with it. She's always trying to get me involved in the management side of things, learning how to run the place instead of just riding the horses. You know, preparing for me to take over when they retire." He shrugs. "So she really

"No, seriously, man, I don't need the work that bad. I'm fine. I don't need you to…."
Dan trails off, and Justin stares at him in astonishment. "Jesus, Dan, it's not some make-work project!" He shakes his head. "I wasn't lying about how good he looked with you on him. Dude, you're a hell of a rider. Do you really not know that?"
Dan looks almost angry. "Yeah, whatever." He stuffs the last of his shirts into the duffel and stands up. "So, I'm done here. Thanks for letting me use the dryer." He barely pauses before continuing. "And, you know, for the ride and everything. That was fun."
Justin tries not to panic at the way Dan's words sound like 'goodbye'. They've been here before, and Dan hasn't jumped off the ledge yet. "Yeah, it was a good day. Thanks for coming all the way out here." He keeps his voice as casual as he can. "So, I've got horses to ride tomorrow during the day, but how about tomorrow night? Dinner, maybe?" Justin figures he can talk to Karl and Molly in the meantime, make it clear what a great rider Dan is, and have a more formal job offer lined up.
Dan looks uncomfortable; it's not exactly the reaction Justin was hoping for, but at least it's more honest than the mask of nonchalance. "Uh, maybe… or… you know… we could keep our options open. You could just give me a call, if you want."
"Well…I could call you to set up a time and place, I guess."
Dan's expression is wary, and then he shrugs. "Yeah, okay." He looks around the apartment. "Have you got a pen or something, for me to write down my number?"
Justin's cell phone is resting on the counter, getting charged, and he picks it up and types Dan's name in, then passes the phone over for Dan to enter his number. Dan hands it back wordlessly when he's done, and then picks up the duffel bag.
Justin isn't sure what he's finding so unsettling. He's not crazy about