Authors: Tabatha Akers
Getting a little frustrated with her, Jackson knew he was going to have to be firm with her to get her to understand everything.
“Katie, I am where I want to be. I am here with my friends and our family that we never got to meet. They are all wonderful, and most of all I am out of pain. I was always in pain when I was there and I couldn’t be a kid. I get to run and play and enjoy my days, without medicine, machines, and hospitals. You need to understand that I wouldn’t want to do that all again.”
“I want to be there with you then. I am not happy here without you.”
“That is because you will not let yourself be happy. You need to let go Katie. Mom and Dad are still there and they need you to help them deal with losing me. It isn’t your time yet!” he said in a firmer tone.
Looking at him Katie couldn’t help but see how beautiful he was. The light that glowed around him, made him look absolutely content. She couldn’t ever imagine feeling that way again.
“I see it in your face Katie. You don’t think you can ever be happy again. But you need to understand that you are the only thing that is interfering with you being happy. You are only happy anymore when you are with Jackson. Katie he was sent in your direction, because you needed something in your life to distract you from being so lost. When you are with him your face lights up, and I know that you think of me. It is time for you to let go of me and live your life. You will never forget me but you do not need to think about me every second of everyday. If you keep trying to keep me alive, you will never enjoy your life. You have to let go and know that even if you let go of me I am still there when you need me. I may not respond when you talk but I am definitely listening. Katie I love you and I miss you too, but I know that you can do this and you will be okay. You just have to see that every day you have is a gift from above. Take that gift and use it to help others deal with their loss so that they don’t suffer the way you have allowed yourself to.”
Katie couldn’t help but listen to every word Jackson was saying. She knew that everything he was saying was true. She needed to move on. Living every day with this feeling of loss is keeping her from really enjoying all that she has in life. “Jackson, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize that I had gotten that bad. I just miss you so much. I know now that I can go on without you here with me physically. I love you and I will forever miss you. We had so many good times together.” She said in a sad voice.
“I know but just remember those times and know that they will always be there for you to think about and smile. You do not need to always be on the sad side.” Walking over to her, he reaches out to grab her hand. As their hands touched he pulled her in close. He hugged her tight and for a moment everything seemed like old times. He desperately missed Katie, but he knew that he was where he needed to be. Pulling away from Katie he could see her eyes were still closed. He knew she was taking in this hug and the way it felt.
“I love you Jackson. I miss you so much! Thank you for keeping me where I needed to be, and for always being there to listen without any judgment. You are the best brother!” Katie said as she wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face.
“I love you to Katie. I have to go now, but know that I will always be there for you and all you have to do is close your eyes and think of the happy times.” Jackson looked one more time at Katie and turned and walked away.
Katie watched as he walked away and whispered, “I love you too Jackson!”
Chapter 20
As Katie’s parents sat and stared at their little girl as she lay helpless there in the hospital bed, the door opened and in walked the doctor.
“We did get the results from the tests back. She did suffer a hard hit to the head, so there may be things that we do not see now that could come up later. For now we just have to wait for her to open her eyes.”
“So everything is going to be okay with her?”
“So far there isn’t anything that we can see to worry about. She may have some pain in her arm when the weather changes but that is normal. I will come in a little later to check on her.”
“Okay. Thank you doctor, we appreciate everything you are doing to help our daughter.” Tom replied in a somber tone as the doctor turned and walked out of the room.
Looking back at Katie as she lay so lifeless in the bed, Tom rubbed his eyes. How had they gotten to this place? All they tried to do was make sure nothing happened to her, and yet there she was laying there in a hospital bed, and there was nothing he could do to fix it. He still wasn’t sure of what exactly happened. He was waiting for Mark to get there so that he could find out. Looking at his wife, he decided he was going to get them some coffee. “I will be right back,” he said to Beth as he walked out the door.
In the hallway he stopped and put his hand on his knees. He needed to regain his composure. He didn’t want anything to happen to his little girl and he just couldn’t process all that has happened in the last few months. Catching his breath he stands back up and started walking down the hall to the cafeteria. As he rounded the corner he almost ran into Mark.
“Excuse me.” He replied without looking Mark in the eyes.
“Tom, I am so sorry about all of this. How is she? How is the boy that was with her?”
“She is okay. She hasn’t opened her eyes or moved any part of her body, but they think she will be okay.”
“That is good.”
“You said there was a boy too? What boy? What happened? No one has told us anything?” Tom replied in a frustrated tone.
“I don’t truly know what happened, because I came up after the car had already wrecked. All I know is that I noticed there was a disturbance in the vegetation and stopped to check it out back on the back roads. When I stopped and started walking I saw up on the field and saw there was a tree that had looked like it was hit. That is when I noticed there was a car on its roof about fifty feet away. When I got there I saw there were two people in the car. I didn’t know who it was at first. I just knew that I had to do something. That is when I opened the door and pulled out the boy first. He had a very faint pulse. I crawled back into the car and pulled Katie out. I still didn’t know it was her until after I called the cops and started wiping the blood from her face.” He had to stop and take a breath. He had always thought of Katie as one of his and if anything happened to her he would be devastated. He just couldn’t think of it that way. He reached his arm up and wiped his eyes.
“Thank you for stopping. If you hadn’t then there is no telling if we would have her now. You mentioned a boy. Who was the boy and what happened to him?”
“They brought him to the hospital as well. It was that kid that got into some trouble a while back.”
“I didn’t think she would ever get into a car with him.”
“Were they dating?”
“No they were not, but Beth mentioned that he had walked home with her one day. She has been so secretive lately and she doesn’t talk to anyone. We had a fight because I told her she didn’t have a choice in talking to someone. That was when she ran out of the house and now this.” Tom said as he broke down in tears.
Mark put his hand on his shoulder to tell him it is okay. “I just wanted to make sure they were okay. I will not keep you. Please let us know what happens. I will say a prayer. She has been very missed in our house and we hope that she comes back over really soon.”
“Thank you. I guess I should get back in there to make sure everything is okay. Thank you for coming by.”
“I’ll see you later. Call me if you need anything,” Mark said as he turned to walk away praying that Katie comes home.
Walking back into the room, Tom sees his wife sitting there looking so sad and knows that she is thinking the same thing he is. There is no way that God would take their only child from them. He knew that this was going to be a long night. As he walked over to her, he put his hand on her shoulder. She laid her hand on his and they both just watched Katie, willing her to open her eyes.
“I just saw Mark. He was the one that came across the accident. He told me he didn’t know what happened exactly but that he pulled her and a boy out of the car.”
As he said this Beth turned around and with mouth wide open, stared at him. She was in a car? With that boy? This didn’t make any sense to her. Katie was always so responsible. She wouldn’t have done something so reckless. She just didn’t understand it. Then it hit her. “If the boy was in the car, then how is he doing?” she asked her husband in a panic.
He realized that he hadn’t thought to ask about him at all. Suddenly they both felt the need to check on this boy that was in the accident as well. “I will go ask the nurse. They may not be able to tell me anything but at least we will know if he is still alive,” he said as he headed for the door.
Just as he reached for the door, he heard his wife gasp. As he turned around, he saw Katie’s eyes flutter open. Without really touching the ground and in what seemed like a single bounce he was by her side.
“Katie honey, we are here with you,” her mom said in an excited yet still very scared voice.
Katie was still trying to get some bearing on where she was. She could hear her mom but she couldn’t really say anything. She tried to speak but nothing was coming out.
The next thing she knew there was someone, she had no idea who it was, standing over her saying things to whoever was on the other side of her. She didn’t see her mom or dad and she desperately needed them. Where was she? Why was she there? Where is Jackson? She just had her arms wrapped around him? Had Jackson’s death all been a dream? So many things were going through her head and she couldn’t even talk about it. Suddenly she thought about Jack. Where was Jack? She had to find a way to ask about him. She started to open her mouth. She just needed to force out her question.
She thought she had their attention, when she realized that she wasn’t saying anything. She thought if she could sit up then they would have to listen to her. She tried to sit up but it hurt so immensely that she couldn’t even try again. What was going on?
“Katie just lay there. Don’t move, we just need to make sure you are okay. You gave us quite a scare there for the last twenty four hours,” the person giving the orders said to her.
She didn’t just want to lay there. She wanted to find Jack. She knew she needed to know where he was and if he was okay. Until she knew then she wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. If it hadn’t been for her, he wouldn’t have been in the accident. He wouldn’t have wrecked his car. “Oh no. He wrecked his car. The only thing he had left of his life before his mom got hurt,” she thought to herself.
Seeing that she was getting anxious, the doctor decided to sedate her to calm her down. Just when she thought she was going to see Jack, Katie fell back to sleep.
After about another twenty four hours of sleep, Katie woke up. She was still a little groggy from the medicine. She had questions, and frankly she didn’t want to sleep anymore. As she started moving she could feel her hand get squeezed. She looked over expecting her mom to be the one holding her hand. She was greatly surprised to see Jack sitting there, with a bandage on his head.
When he realized that she was awake, he said, “Hi beautiful,” as he smiled that smile that made Katie melt.
“Hi,” she said in a whisper. It was all she could do to even get that out.
“Here take a drink of water,” he said as he held the straw to her mouth. He was so glad to see her wake up. He couldn’t help but blame himself, for all that happened. He should have just hit his breaks, not swerved. He would never have forgiven himself if anything happened to her.
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. How are you feeling? Do you need a pillow fluff? Are you in any pain?”
With a little giggle, Katie replied still in a quiet voice, “I am okay. I am a little sore. How are you?”