Katie's Redemption (2 page)

T
hrough a haze of pain, Katie heard Elam ask, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

She felt strong arms supporting her. She leaned into his strength but she couldn’t answer because she was gritting her teeth to keep from screaming.

“I believe her baby’s coming,” Nettie replied calmly.

Panic swallowed Katie whole.

This can’t be happening. Not here. Not with strangers. This isn’t right. Nothing is right. Please, God, I know I’ve disappointed You, but help me now.

A horrible sensation settled in the pit of her stomach. Was this her punishment for leaving the faith? She knew there would be a price to pay someday, but she didn’t want her baby to suffer because of her actions.

She looked from Elam’s wide, startled eyes above her to his mother’s serene face. “My baby can’t come now. I’m not due for three weeks.”

Nettie’s smile was reassuring. “Babies have a way of choosing their own time.”

Katie bit her lower lip to stop its trembling. She’d never been so scared in all her life.

“Don’t worry. I know just what to do. I’ve had eight of my own.” Nettie’s unruffled demeanor eased some of Katie’s panic. Seeing no other choice, Katie allowed Nettie to take charge of the situation.

Why wasn’t Matt here when she needed him? It should have been Matt beside her, not these people.

Because he’d grown tired of her, that’s why. He had been ashamed of her backward ways. Her pregnancy had been the last straw. He accused her of getting pregnant to force him into marriage, which wasn’t true. After their last fight three months ago, he walked out and never came back, leaving her with rent and bills she couldn’t pay.

Nettie turned to her son. “Elam, move one of the extra beds into the kitchen so Katie has a warm place to rest while you fetch the midwife.”

“Jah.”
A blush of embarrassment stained his cheeks dark red. His lack of a beard proclaimed his single status. Childbirth was the territory of women, clearly a territory he didn’t want to explore. He hurried away.

Nettie coaxed Katie to sit and showed her how to breathe through her next contraction. When Elam had wrestled a narrow bed into the kitchen and piled several quilts on one end, Nettie helped Katie onto it. Lying down with a sigh of relief, Katie closed her eyes. She was so tired. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. The Lord will give you the strength you need,” Nettie said gently.

No, He won’t. God doesn’t care what happens to a sinner like me.

“Is the midwife okay, or will you be wanting to go to a hospital?” Elam’s voice interrupted her fatalistic thoughts.

She turned her face toward the wall. “I can’t afford a hospital.”

“The midwife will do fine, Elam. I’ve heard good things about Nurse Bradley from the women hereabouts. Go over to the Zimmerman farm and ask to use their phone. They’ll know her number. What are you waiting for? Get a move on.”

“I was wondering if there was anyone else I should call. Perhaps the baby’s father? He should know his child is being born.”

“Matt doesn’t care about this baby. He left us,” Katie managed to say through gritted teeth. The growing contraction required all her concentration. The slamming of the outside door signaled that Elam had gone.

When her pain eased, Katie turned back to watch Nettie bustling about, making preparations for her baby’s arrival. The kitchen looked so different than it had during the years Katie had lived here. She could see all of the changes Elam and his mother had made. She concentrated on each detail as she tried to relax and gather strength for her next contraction.

Overhead, a new gas lamp above the kitchen table cast a warm glow throughout the room. As it had in her day, a rectangular table occupied the center of the room. The chairs around it were straight-backed and sturdy. The dark, small cabinets that once flanked the wide window above the sink had been replaced with new larger ones that
spread across the length of the wall. Their natural golden oak color was much more appealing.

Setting Katie’s suitcase on a chair, Nettie opened it and drew out a pink cotton nightgown. “Let’s get you into something more comfortable.”

Embarrassment sent the blood rushing to Katie’s face, but Nettie didn’t seem to notice. The look of kindness on her face and her soothing prattle in thick German quickly put Katie at ease. Elam’s mother seemed perfectly willing to accept a stranger into her home and care for her.

Dressed in a dark blue dress covered by a black apron, Nettie had a sparkle in her eyes behind the wire-rimmed glasses perched on her nose. Her plump cheeks were creased with smile lines. No one in Katie’s family had ever been cheerful.

Nettie’s gray hair was parted in the middle and coiled into a bun beneath her white
kapp
the way all Amish women wore their hair. Katie fingered her own short locks.

Cutting her hair had been her first act of rebellion after she left home. Amish women never cut their hair. It had been one way Katie could prove to herself that she was no longer Amish. At times, she regretted the loss of her waist-length hair. She once thought she despised all things Amish, yet this Amish woman was showing her more kindness than anyone had ever done. Only one person Katie knew in the neighborhood where she’d lived with Matt would have taken her in like this, but that friend was dead. The English world wasn’t always a friendly place.

After she had changed into her nightclothes, Katie settled back into bed. Nettie added more wood to the stove.
The familiar crackle, hiss and popping sounds of the fire helped calm Katie’s nerves. Until the next contraction hit.

Elam wasted no time getting Judy hitched to the buggy. In spite of her master’s attempts to hurry, the black mare balked at the wide doorway, making it clear she objected to leaving her warm barn. Elam couldn’t blame her. The windblown sleet felt like stinging nettles where it hit his face. He pulled the warm scarf his mother had knitted for him over his nose and mouth, then climbed inside the carriage.

The town of Hope Springs lay three miles to the east of his farm. He had Amish neighbors on all sides. None of them used telephones. The nearest phone was at the Zimmerman farm just over a mile away. He prayed the Mennonite family would be at home when he got there or he would have to go all the way into town to find one.

Once he reached the highway, he urged Judy to pick up her pace. He slapped the reins against her rump and frequently checked the rectangular mirror mounted on the side of his buggy. This stretch of curving road could be a nerve-racking drive in daylight. Traveling it in this kind of weather was doubly dangerous. The English cars and trucks came speeding by with little regard for the fact that a slow-moving buggy might be just over the rise.

Tonight, as always, Elam trusted the Lord to see him safely to his destination, but he kept a sharp lookout for headlights coming up behind him.

It was a relief to finally swing off the blacktop onto the gravel drive of his neighbor’s farm. By the time he reached their yard, his scarf was coated with ice from his frozen
breath. He saw at once that the lights were on. The Zimmermans were home. He gave a quick prayer of thanks.

Hitching Judy to the picket fence near the front gate, he bounded up the porch steps. Pulling down his muffler, he rapped on the door.

Grace Zimmerman answered his knock. “Elam, what on earth are you doing out on a night like this?”

He nodded to her. “
Goot
evening, Mrs. Zimmerman. I’ve come to ask if I might use your telephone, please.”

“Of course. Is something wrong? Is your mother ill?”

“
Mamm
is fine. We’ve a visitor, a young woman who’s gone into labor.”

“Shall I call 911 and get an ambulance?”

“
Mamm
says the midwife will do.”

“Okay. Come in and I’ll get that number for you.”

“My thanks.”

The midwife answered on the second ring. “Nurse Bradley speaking.”

“Miss Bradley, I am Elam Sutter, and I have need of your services.”

“Babies never check the weather report before they decide to make an appearance, do they? Has your wife been into the clinic before?”

“It is not my wife. It is a woman who is visiting in the area, so she hasn’t been to see you.”

“Oh. Okay, give me the patient’s name.”

He knew Katie’s maiden name, but he didn’t know her married name. Was the man she spoke of her husband? Deciding it didn’t matter, he said, “Her name is Katie Lantz.”

“Is Mrs. Lantz full term?”

“I’m not sure.”

“How far apart are her contractions? Is it her first baby?”

“That I don’t know. My mother is with her and she said to call you,” he stated firmly. He was embarrassed at not being able to answer her questions

“Are there complications?”

“Not that I know of, but you would be the best judge of that.”

“All right. How do I find your place?”

He gave her directions. She repeated them, then cheerfully assured him that she would get there as fast as she could.

As he hung up the phone, Mrs. Zimmerman withdrew a steaming cup from her microwave. “Have a cup of hot cocoa before you head back into the storm, Elam. Did I hear you say that Katie Lantz is having a baby?”

“
Jah.
She came looking for her brother. She didn’t know he had moved.” He took the cup and sipped it gratefully, letting the steam warm his face. Mrs. Zimmerman was a kindhearted woman but she did love to gossip.

“Poor Katie. Is Matt with her?” She seemed genuinely distressed.

“She’s alone. Is Matt her husband? Do you know how to contact him?”

Mrs. Zimmerman shook her head. “I have no idea if they married. Matt Carson was a friend of my grandson’s from college. The boys spent a few weeks here two summers ago. That’s how Katie met Matt. I’ll call William and see if he has kept in touch with Matt or his family.”

“Thank you.”

“I never thought Katie would come back. Malachi was furious at the attention Matt paid her. If he hadn’t overreacted I think the romance would have died a natural death when Matt went back to school. I don’t normally speak ill of people, but Malachi was very hard on that girl, even when she was little.”

“‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’
Proverbs
22:6,” Elam quoted.

“I agree the tree grows the way the sapling is bent, but not if it’s snapped in half. I even spoke to Bishop Zook about Malachi’s treatment of Katie when she was about ten but I don’t think it did any good. I wasn’t all that surprised when she ran off with Matt.”

Elam didn’t feel right gossiping about Katie or her family. He took another sip of the chocolate, then set the cup on the counter. “
Danki,
Mrs. Zimmerman. I’d best be getting back.”

“I’ll keep Katie in my prayers. Please tell her I said hello.”

“I will, and thank you again.” He wrapped his scarf around his face and headed out the door.

By the time Elam returned home, the midwife had already arrived. Her blue station wagon sat in front of the house collecting a coating of snow on the hood and windshield.

He lit a lantern and hung it inside the barn so his mother would know he was back if she looked out. He took his time making sure Judy was rubbed down and dry before returning her to her stall with an extra ration of oats for her hard work. When he was done, he stood
facing the house from the wide barn door. The snow was letting up and the wind was dying down at last.

Lamplight glowed from the kitchen window and he wondered how Katie was faring. He couldn’t imagine finding himself cast upon the mercy of strangers at such a time. He had seven brothers and sisters plus cousins galore that he could turn to at a moment’s notice for help. It seemed that poor Katie had no one.

Knowing his presence wouldn’t be needed or wanted in the house, he decided he might as well get some work done if he wasn’t going to get any sleep. Taking the lantern down, he carried it to the workshop he’d set up inside the barn. Once there, he lit the gas lamps hanging overhead. They filled the space with light. He turned out the portable lamp and set it on the counter.

The tools of his carpentry and wooden basket–making business were hung neatly on the walls. Everything was in order—exactly the way he liked it. A long, narrow table sat near the windows with five chairs along its length. Several dozen baskets in assorted sizes and shapes were stacked in bins against the far wall. Cedar, poplar and pine boards on sawhorses filled the air with their fresh, woody scents.

Only a year ago the room had been a small feed storage area, but as the demand for his baskets and woodworking expanded, he’d needed more space. Remodeling the workshop had been his winter project and it was almost done. The clean white walls were meant to reflect the light coming in from the extra windows he’d added. When summer took hold of the land, the windows would open to let in the cool breezes. It was a good shop, and he was pleased with what he’d accomplished.

Stoking the coals glowing in a small stove, he soon had a bright fire burning. It wasn’t long before the chill was gone from the air. He took off his coat and hung it on a peg near the frost-covered windows. Using his sleeve, he rubbed one windowpane clear so he could see the house.

Light flooded from the kitchen window. They must have moved more lamps into the room. Knowing he couldn’t help, he pick up his measuring tape and began marking sections of cedar board for a hope chest a client had ordered last week.

He didn’t need to concentrate on the task. His hands knew the wood, knew the tools he held as if they were extensions of his own fingers. His gaze was drawn repeatedly to the window and the drama he knew was being played out inside his home. As he worked, he prayed for Katie Lantz and her unborn child.

Hours later, he glanced out the window and stopped his work abruptly. He saw his mother hurrying toward him. Had something gone wrong?

“Y
ou are so beautiful,” Katie whispered. Tears blurred her vision and she rapidly blinked them away.

Propped up with pillows against the headboard of her borrowed bed, she drew her fingers gently across the face of her daughter where she lay nestled in the crook of her arm. Her little head was covered in dark hair. Her eyelashes lay like tiny curved spikes against her cheeks. She was the most beautiful thing Katie had ever seen.

Amber Bradley, the midwife, moved about the other side of the room, quietly putting her things away. Katie had been a little surprised that the midwife wasn’t Amish. That the women of the district trusted an outsider spoke volumes for Amber. She was both kind and competent, as Katie had discovered.

When Amber came over to the bed at last, she sat gently on the edge and asked, “Shall I take her now? You really do need some rest.”

“Can I hold her just a little longer?” Katie didn’t want
to give her baby over to anyone. Not yet. The joy of holding her own child was too new, too wonderful to allow it to end.

Amber smiled and nodded. “All right, but I do need to check her over more completely before I go. We didn’t have a lot of time to discuss your plans. Maybe we can do that now.”

Reality poked its ugly head back into Katie’s mind. Her plans hadn’t changed. They had simply been delayed. “I intend to go to my brother’s house.”

“Does he live close by?”

“No. Mr. Sutter said Malachi has moved to Kansas.”

“I see. That’s a long way to travel with a newborn.”

Especially for someone who had no money. And now she owed the midwife, as well. All Katie could do was be honest with Amber. She glanced up at the nurse. “I’m grateful you came tonight, but I’m sorry I can’t pay you right now. I will, I promise. As soon as I get a job.”

“I’m not worried about that. The Amish always pay their bills. In fact, they’re much more prompt than any insurance company I’ve dealt with.”

Katie looked down at her daughter. “I’m not Amish. Not anymore.”

“Don’t be worrying about my fee. Just enjoy that beautiful baby. I’ll send a bill in a few days and you can pay me when you’re able.”

The outside door opened and Nettie rushed in carrying a large, oval wooden basket. She was followed by Elam. He paused long enough to hang his coat and hat by the door, then he approached the bed. “I heard it’s a fine, healthy girl. Congratulations, Katie Lantz.”

“Thank you.” She proudly pulled back the corner of the receiving blanket, a gift from Amber, to show Elam her little girl.

He moved closer and leaned down, but kept his hands tucked in the front pockets of his pants. “
Ach,
she’s
wundascheen!
”

“Thank you. I think she’s beautiful, too.” Katie planted a kiss on her daughter’s head.

Nettie set the basket on the table, folded her arms over her ample chest and grinned. “
Jah,
she looks like her Mama with all that black hair.”

Reaching out hesitantly, Elam touched the baby’s tiny fist. “Have you given her a name?”

“Rachel Ann. It was my mother’s name.”

Nodding his satisfaction, he straightened and shoved his hand back in his pocket. “It’s a
goot
name. A plain name.”

Katie blinked back sudden tears as she gazed at her daughter. Even though they would have to live with Malachi for a while, Rachel would not be raised Amish as Katie’s mother had been. Why did that make her feel sad?

Amber rose from her place at the foot of the bed. “I see you’ve got a solution for where this little one is going to sleep, Nettie.”

“My daughter, Mary, is expecting in a few months. She has my old cradle, but a folded quilt will make this a comfortable bed for Rachel. What do you think, Katie?”

“I think it will do fine.” All of the sudden, Katie was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open.

“I will make a bassinet for her,” Elam offered quickly. “It won’t take any time at all.”

Overwhelmed, Katie said, “You’ve been so kind already, Mr. Sutter. How can I ever thank you?”

“Someday, you will do a kindness for someone in need. That will be my thanks,” he replied, soft and low so that only she could hear him.

Katie studied his face in the lamplight. It was the first time she had really looked at him. He was probably twenty-five years old. Most Amish men his age were married with one or two children already. She wondered why he was still single. He was certainly handsome enough to please any young woman. His hair, sable-brown and thick, held a touch of unruly curl where it brushed the back of his collar.

His face, unlike his hair, was all chiseled angles and planes, from his broad forehead to his high cheekbones. That, coupled with a straight, no-nonsense nose, gave him a look of harshness. Until she noticed his eyes. Soft sky-blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled as he was smiling now at the sight of Rachel’s pink bow mouth opened in a wide yawn.

“Looks like someone is ready to try out her new bed.” He stepped back as Amber came to take Rachel from Katie.

“I know her mother could use some rest,” Amber stated with a stern glance in Katie’s direction.

Katie nodded in agreement, but she didn’t want to sleep. “If I close my eyes for a few minutes, that’s all I need.”

“You’re going to need much more than that,” Nettie declared, placing the quilt-lined basket on a kitchen chair beside Katie’s bed.

Amber laid the baby on the table and unwrapped her enough to listen to her heart and lungs with a stetho
scope. Katie couldn’t close her eyes until she knew all was well. After finishing her examination, Amber rewrapped the baby tightly and laid her in the basket. “Everything looks good, but I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow, and you, too, Mommy. I’ll also draw a little blood from her heel tomorrow. The state requires certain tests on all newborns. You’ll get the results in a few weeks. I can tell you’re tired, Katie. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Katie scooted down under the covers and rolled to her side so that she could see her daughter. “Will she be warm enough?”

“She’ll be fine. We’ll keep the stove going all night,” Nettie promised.

“She’s so sweet. I can’t believe how much I love her already.” Sleep pulled Katie’s eyelids lower. She fought it, afraid if she slept she would wake and find it all had been a dream.

The murmur of voices reached her. She heard her name mentioned and struggled to understand what was being said.

“I’m worried about Katie.” It was Amber talking.

“Why?” came Elam’s deep voice.

Opening her eyes, Katie saw that everyone had gone into the living room. She strained to hear them.

Amber said, “It’s clear she hasn’t been eating well for some time. Plus, her blood loss was heavier than I like to see. Physically, she’s very run-down.”

“Do you think she should go to the hospital?” Elam asked. Katie heard the worry behind his words.

He was concerned about her. She smiled at the
thought. It had been a long time since anyone had worried about her. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

Concerned for his unexpected guest’s health, Elam glanced from the kitchen door to the nurse standing beside his mother.

Amber shook her head. “I don’t think she needs to go to the hospital, but I do think she should take it easy for a few days. She needs good hearty food, lots of rest and plenty of fluids. I understand she was on her way to her brother’s home?”

“Jah,”
Nettie said. “When she realized he wasn’t here, she said she was going to the bus station.”

Amber scowled and crossed her arms. “She shouldn’t travel for a while. Not for at least a week, maybe two. If having her here is an inconvenience, I can try to make other arrangements in town until her family can send someone for her.”

Elam could see his mother struggling to hold back her opinion. He was the man of the house. It would have to be his decision.

At least that was the way it was supposed to work, but he had learned a valuable lesson about women from his father. His
dat
used to say, “Women get their way by one means or another, son. Make a woman mad only if you’re willing to eat burnt bread until she decides otherwise. The man who tells you he’s in charge in his own house will lie about other things, too.”

His father had been wise about so many things and yet so foolish in the end.

Elam’s mother might want Katie to remain with them, but Elam was hesitant about the idea. The last thing he needed was to stir up trouble in his new church district. Katie wasn’t a member of his family. She had turned her back on her Amish upbringing. Her presence might even prompt unwanted gossip. His family had endured enough of that.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind having another woman in the house.” It seemed his mother couldn’t be silent for long.

This wasn’t a discussion he wanted to have in front of an outsider. He said, “Nothing can be done tonight. We’ll talk it over with Katie in the morning.”

The faint smile that played across Nettie’s lips told him she’d already made up her mind. “The woman needs help. It’s our Christian duty to care for her and that precious baby.”

Mustering a stern tone, he said, “You don’t fool me,
Mamm.
I saw how excited you were to tell me it was a little girl. The way you came running out to the barn, I thought the house must be on fire. You’re just happy to have a new baby in the house. I’ve heard you telling your friends that you’re hoping Mary’s next one is a girl.”

His mother raised one finger toward the ceiling. “
Gott
has given me five fine grandsons. I’m not complaining. I pray only that my daughters have more healthy children. If one or two should be girls—that is
Gotte wille,
too, and fine with me. Just as it was
Gotte wille
that Katie and her baby came to us.”

Her logic was something Elam couldn’t argue with. He turned to the nurse. “She can stay here until her family comes to fetch her if that is what she wants. She can write to Malachi in the morning and tell him that she’s here.”

Amber looked relieved. “Wonderful. That’s settled, then.”

For Malachi’s sake and for Katie’s, Elam prayed that she was prepared to mend her ways and come back to the Amish. If she was sincere about returning, the church members would welcome her back with open arms.

Amber gathered up her bag. “I’ll come by late tomorrow afternoon to check on both of my patients. I’m going to leave some powdered infant formula with you in case the nursing doesn’t go well, but I’m sure you won’t need it. Please don’t hesitate to send for me if you think something is wrong. Mrs. Sutter, I’m sure you know what to look for.”

“Thank you for coming, Miss Bradley.”

“Thank you for calling me.”

Elam hesitated, then said, “About your bill.”

She waved his concern aside. “Katie and I have already discussed it.”

After she left, a calm settled over the house. Nettie tried to hide a yawn, but Elam saw it. The clock on the wall said it was nearly two in the morning. At least it was the off Sunday and they would not have to travel to services in the morning. “Go to bed,
Mamm.
”

“No, I’m going to sleep here in my chair in case Katie or the baby needs me.”

He knew better than to argue with her. “I’ll get a quilt and a pillow from your room.”

“Thank you, Elam. You are a good son.”

A few minutes later he returned with the bedding and handed it to her. As she settled herself in her favorite brown wingback chair, he moved a footstool in front of it and helped her prop up her feet, then tucked the blanket
under them. She sighed heavily and set her glasses on the small, oval reading table beside her.

When he was sure she was comfortable, he quietly walked back into the kitchen. Before heading upstairs to his room, he checked the fire in the stove. It had died down to glowing red coals. The wood box beside it was almost empty. The women must have used most of it keeping the room warm for Katie’s delivery. Glancing toward the bed in the corner, he watched Katie sleeping huddled beneath a blue-and-green patterned quilt.

She looked so small and alone.

Only she wasn’t alone. Her baby slept on a chair beside the bed in one of his baskets. And what of the child’s father? Katie had said he didn’t care about them, but what man would not care that he had such a beautiful daughter? There was a lot Elam didn’t know about his surprise guest, but answers would have to wait until morning.

Quietly slipping into his coat, he eased the door open and went out to fetch more wood. He paused on the front steps to admire the view. A three-quarter moon sent its bright light across the farmyard, making the trees and buildings cast sharp black shadows over the snow. High in the night sky, the stars twinkled as if in competition with the sparkling landscape.

Elam shook his head. He was being fanciful again. It was a habit he tried hard to break. Still, it had to be good for a man to stop and admire the handiwork of God. Why else did he have eyes to see and ears to hear?

Elam’s breath rose in the air in frosty puffs as he loaded his arms with wood and returned to the house. He managed to open the door with one hand, but it banged
shut behind him. He froze, hoping he hadn’t disturbed his guests or his mother. When no one moved, he blew out the breath he’d been holding and began unloading his burden as quietly as he could.

After adding a few of his logs to the stove, he stoked up the blaze and closed the firebox door. He had taken a half-dozen steps toward the stairs and the bed that was calling to him when the baby started to fuss. He spun around.

Katie stirred but didn’t open her eyes. He could hear his mother’s not-so-soft snoring in the other room. The baby quieted.

He took a step back and grimaced as the floorboard creaked. Immediately, the baby started her soft fussing again. Elam waited, but neither of the women woke. The baby’s cries weren’t loud. Maybe she was just lonely in a strange new place.

He crossed the room. Squatting beside the basket, he rocked it gently. The moonlight spilling in through the kitchen window showed him a tiny face with bright eyes wide open.