Katie's Redemption (5 page)

Katie walked into the kitchen with a new sense of purpose. In her rush to leave, Nettie had left a few pots and pans soaking in the sink. Smiling, Katie pushed up the sleeves of her sweater and carried a kettle to the sink. She filled it with water and put it on the stove to heat. It was time to stop feeling sorry for herself and do something for someone else.

It wasn’t long until she was putting the last clean pot in the cupboard and closing the door. Looking around the
spotless kitchen, she bit the corner of her lower lip. Would Nettie think it was clean enough? Would Elam?

That was a silly thought. Why should she want to impress Elam with how well she could manage a home? He wouldn’t care. He wasn’t at all like Malachi.

Many was the time she’d scrubbed this same kitchen until her hands were raw only to have her brother come in, look around and begin shouting that she couldn’t do anything right, that if she wanted to live in filth she could live in the barn.

How many nights had she spent locked inside the feed room listening to the sounds of scurrying mice in the darkness? Too many to count.

She pressed a hand to her lips to hide the tiny smile that crept out of hiding. Malachi would have been furious to know she hadn’t really minded sleeping there. The old sheet she had been given was much softer stuffed with hay than the thin mattress in her room upstairs. The mice had been quieter than her brother’s heavy snoring in the room next to hers. She often wondered how her sister-in-law ever got a wink of sleep.

Folding the dish towel carefully, Katie hung it on the towel bar at the end of the counter. Nettie and Elam were not like Malachi. She didn’t have to be afraid while she was here.

Two hours later Katie’s solitude was interrupted when Amber arrived to check on her patients. To Katie’s chagrin, the nurse caught her sweeping the porch and steps free of the mud that clung to everything now that the weather had warmed up enough to melt the snow.

Amber advanced on Katie and took the broom out of
her hands. “What do you think you’re doing? I gave you strict orders to rest.”

Katie sighed. “I’m not used to lying around. Besides, I wanted to repay Nettie’s kindness in some small fashion. She and Elam have gone to visit his sister and I thought I’d clean up a little while she was gone.”

“I understand, but you won’t repay her if you overdo it and get sick. That will just make more work for her. Come inside and have a seat. I want to check your blood pressure. At least your color is better today.”

“I feel fine.” Maybe if she kept repeating the phrase it would remain true.

Inside the house, Katie hung up her coat and took a seat at the kitchen table. Amber did the same and opened the large canvas bag she carried slung over one shoulder. “How’s your appetite?”

“It’s good.”

Amber narrowed her eyes as she wrapped the black cuff around Katie’s arm. “If I ask Nettie, what will she say?”

“She’ll say I pick at my food like a bird.”

“I thought so.” Placing her stethoscope in her ears, Amber inflated the cuff and took her reading.

“Well?” Katie asked when she was done.

“It’s good, and your pulse is normal, too. You Amish women amaze me the way you bounce back after childbirth.”

“I’m not Amish.”

“I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me.” Amber leaned back to regard Katie intently. “I know you grew up here and I’ve lived in Hope Springs for almost six years, yet I don’t remember seeing you.”

“How can you tell us apart in our white caps and dark dresses?” Katie didn’t mean to sound bitter, but she couldn’t help it.

“I think I would have remembered you. There aren’t too many women in this area with black hair and eyes as dark as yours. I don’t think I remember your brother and his wife.”

“They didn’t have any children.”

“Then they’ll be excited to have a baby in the house.”

“I’m not so sure.”

Amber leaned forward and placed a hand on Katie’s arm. “I will tell you something I’ve learned in my years as a nurse midwife. No matter how upset a family may be at the circumstances surrounding the arrival of a baby, once that child is born…the love just comes pouring out. It’s the way God made us.”

Would that be the case for her and Rachel? Would her daughter bring love and happiness to her brother’s home? Would Rachel help her mother find the sense of belonging she craved?

They were big hopes to pin on such a small baby.

One step at a time, Katie cautioned herself. First, she had to get home, and soon. She had been a burden on the Sutters long enough.

“Amber, do you know what day the bus leaves that I’d need to take to go to Kansas?”

“As a matter of fact I keep copies of the bus schedule in my car. You have no idea how often I’m asked about that when people want to make plans for family members to come see a new baby. I should just memorize it. It isn’t
like Hope Springs is a major hub. I think we only get four buses a week through here.”

After she checked on Rachel, Amber went out to her car and returned with a laminated sheet of paper. “It looks like the bus going west leaves on Monday and Friday evening at six-ten. The buses going east leave on Wednesday and Saturday afternoon at five forty-five. There’s no Sunday service.”

Today was Friday. Katie glanced at the clock. It was half past two now. If she hurried, she could make today’s bus. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to leave until Monday. As much as she had grown to like Nettie and even Elam, she didn’t want to burden them with her presence for three more days.

The only problem was that she was broke. She didn’t have enough money to pay for a ticket to the next town, let alone to go across four states.

Amber tucked the sheet in her bag. “Actually, the bus isn’t the best way for you to travel. The best thing would be if your brother could arrange to send a car.”

The Amish often hired drivers for long trips. It was a common occurrence in a society devoted to the horse and buggy. One was permitted to ride in an automobile for such things as doctor visits or to travel to see relatives that lived far away. One could even take an airplane if they obtained the bishop’s permission.

Katie had heard that a few Amish churches permitted owning and driving a car, but that certainly wasn’t accepted by her brother’s church. “Hiring a driver to come all this way would be expensive.”

Amber fisted her hands on her hips. “True, but you can tell your brother that’s what the nurse recommends.”

Katie forced a smile, but she knew her brother wouldn’t send anyone for her. She would have to make her own way home.

Only…what if she didn’t go. What if she stayed in Hope Springs?

The kindness and caring she’d been shown over the last few days had given her a different vision of what her life could be like. A new sense of energy swept through her. “Amber, do you know of any jobs in the area?”

“For you?”

“Yes. Perhaps someone who needs live-in help. I’m not afraid of hard work. I can clean and cook. I know my way around a farm. I’ll take anything.”

“I don’t know of any work right offhand, but I’ll keep my ears open. Are you thinking of returning to Hope Springs?”

“I just need a job as soon as possible.”

Stepping close, Amber laid a hand on Katie’s arm. Her eyes softened. “If you’re worried about paying me, don’t be. I can wait.”

She pulled a card from her coat pocket. “This is my address. Just send what you can…when you can.”

Katie took the card, but her heart sank. It seemed that God wanted her to return to her brother’s house after all. She considered asking Amber for the loan of enough money to reach her brother’s but quickly discarded the idea. She already owed the woman for her midwife services. She couldn’t ask for anything else. Except perhaps a ride into town.

“Amber, are you heading back to Hope Springs now?”

Taking her coat from the hook by the door, Amber slipped it on and lifted her long blond hair from beneath it, letting it spill down her back. “No, I’ve got a few more visits to make. I’m on my way to check on Mrs. Yoder and her new baby. I’m worried that the child is jaundiced. I may end up sending them to the hospital. Why? Was there something you needed in town?”

Katie shook her head. “It’s nothing that can’t wait until the Sutters get home.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

After Amber left, Katie pulled out the newspaper that Nettie had finished reading that morning. Quickly, she looked over the help wanted ads in case there was something listed that Amber didn’t know about. As she read the few listings her heart sank. There were few jobs available, and none for a woman without education or skills.

Folding the paper, Katie returned it to Nettie’s reading table. Rachel began crying in the other room. Katie picked her up and sat on the edge of her bed. “I feel like crying, too.”

So much for her renewed sense of optimism.

Looking around the room, Katie couldn’t believe how much she had dreaded coming to this place. Now she dreaded leaving. In a strange way her arrival here had turned out to be a blessing. What else could she call this family’s kindness?

Cradling her baby, she looked down at her child’s wonderful bright eyes and beautiful face. “I just have to
believe that God has more blessings in store for us when we reach Malachi’s new home.”

Reaching that home would require money they didn’t have. Besides her clothes and shoes, she didn’t own anything of value. As much as she dreaded it, she would simply have to tell Elam why she hadn’t yet written to Malachi.

Perhaps Elam and Nettie knew of some work she could do to earn her bus fare. No doubt Nettie would offer to pay Katie’s way home, but she couldn’t take advantage of the woman’s kind heart any more than she already had.

After feeding her daughter, Katie laid the baby in her bassinet. “At least you own a fine place to sleep. Never take it for granted.”

Lifting the handles, Katie started to carry the baby’s bed into the living room, but stopped in the doorway and looked down. She did own something of value. The bed Elam had made for Rachel was beautifully crafted, but was it worth more than a bus ticket out of town?

Could she bring herself to sell it?

No, Elam had made it clear that it was a gift to Rachel. He’d even made it to travel, so Katie could take it with her.

She bit her lip. Selling it would solve her immediate problem. Should she?

The memory of Elam gently holding her baby in the moonlight came rushing to mind.

His kindness to her daughter had touched something deep inside Katie. Thoughts of him stirred vague longings, but she refused to examine those feelings. She had no right to be thinking about her own happiness. Rachel was her first priority.

Malachi would give them a home where Rachel would be safe. She’d have a roof over her head and food to eat. What did it matter that her mother had coldhearted relatives? Rachel would be taken care of and one day soon they would both leave again. For good.

Katie sat in the chair before the fireplace and considered her options. The weather was decently warm today. She would make sure Rachel was snugly dressed and wrapped in one of Nettie’s old but warm quilts. As soon as she could, Katie would send the quilt back with a letter of thanks for its use.

It was only a three-mile walk into town. She could easily get there before the bus left that evening. Unless things had changed drastically in Hope Springs, there were several stores in town that catered to the tourist trade by selling Amish furniture, gifts and quilts. The thought of parting with Elam’s beautiful gift gave Katie pause, but she didn’t see any other choice.

No. This was the only way.

I
t was nearly four o’clock in the afternoon when Elam and his mother returned home. Leaving Judy tied up near the gate, he helped his mother unload her empty baskets and carried them up the steps for her. Inside the front door, he stopped. The house had an odd, empty feel to it.

He glanced around the kitchen. The folding screen had been pushed back against the wall. Katie’s bed was stripped and empty. The quilts and sheets sat neatly folded at one end. Rachel’s cradle was gone along with Katie’s suitcase. It was clear they had left.

His heart sank. He’d tried not to become attached to them, but it seemed that he had failed.

Nettie came in behind him. “Just set those baskets on the table, son. I’ll get them washed in a few minutes. Are you still planning to go to the lumberyard?”

He didn’t move, couldn’t take his eyes off the empty corner. “Yes. I need to pick up some more cedar to finish the chest I’m working on.”

Where had she gone? Had she found someone to take her to her family or was she going back to the city and Rachel’s father?

“What’s wrong?” Nettie asked as she stepped around him.

“I think our little birds have flown.” He couldn’t believe how disappointed he was. In only a few days he’d become deeply attached to little Rachel…and to her mother, although he hated to admit that, even to himself.

Walking to the table, he set the baskets on it and slipped one hand into his pants pocket. He withdrew the pink-and-white wooden baby rattle he’d made and simply stared at it.

“She can’t be gone.” His mother’s distress was clear as she carried her burdens in and set them next to his. A letter sat in the middle of the table. Nettie picked it up and read it.

She pulled her bonnet from her head and laid it and the note on the table, then turned to Elam. “That girl doesn’t have a lick of sense. She isn’t strong enough to be gadding about. She’s gone to the bus station. You have to go after her.”

That was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to bring her back where she and her baby would be safe, but perhaps this was for the best. Perhaps it was better that Katie went away before he grew any fonder of her and her child. He knew what heartbreak lay in that direction.

“She’s a grown woman,
Mamm.
She has made up her mind.”

“She’s not thinking straight. She’s putting herself and her baby in danger.”

“What do you mean?”

“The baby blues have muddled her thinking. Tell me you didn’t notice how depressed she has been. What if she collapses on the way, or worse?”

“The town is only three miles away. Amish children walk that far to school every day.” He slipped the rattle back in his pocket.

“Please, take the buggy and fetch her back. It will get cold as soon as the sun goes down.”

“By then she’ll be on a bus headed for Kansas. She will be happier with her own family.”

Nettie paced the length of the kitchen and back with her hands pressed to her cheeks. “I’m not sure that’s true.”

He frowned. “Do you know something you aren’t telling me?”

“It’s not what I know. It’s what I feel. She didn’t want to write to her brother. Why? Something isn’t right.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Even if I’m wrong, we at least need to make sure she made it to the bus depot. I couldn’t rest without knowing that she and that precious baby are all right. Katie isn’t strong enough to be traveling. What will become of Rachel if anything happens to her mother?”

Everything Nettie said was an echo of his own concerns, but still he hesitated. “Katie has the right to live her own life as she sees fit. She has made her choice. She chose to leave us.”

He turned to the bed in the corner and began dragging off the mattress.

“Elam, what are you doing?”

“I’m putting the bed back in the spare bedroom. We have no need of it in here anymore.”

The little bassinet, which seemed like such a wonderful way to carry Rachel, had become horribly heavy long before Katie had finished the first mile. By the time she reached the outskirts of town she’d already stopped to rest a dozen times. Now, outside the Amish Trading Post, she simply had to stop again.

After setting Rachel down gently on the sidewalk, Katie used her suitcase as a seat. Rubbing her aching arms, she willed her nagging dizziness away. She was stronger than this. She had to be.

The hollowness in the pit of her stomach made her wish she’d had the forethought to bring something to eat. The sun was low in the western sky and the chill had returned to the air. She had no idea what time it was, but it was getting late. She couldn’t rest for long. She had to make it to the bus station on time.

Glancing down, the sight of her sleeping daughter brought a little smile to Katie’s lips. At least the baby had slept the whole trip. Lifting Rachel from the bassinet, Katie swaddled her tightly in her blanket. Rising, she pushed her suitcase beneath the branches of a nearby cedar tree, picked up Elam’s gift and crossed the street to the store.

At the door, she hesitated. Rachel’s bed was the only thing she owned that had been given to her out of kindness. Keeping it meant hanging on to a small part of Elam.

No, I’ve already been over this. It has to be done. Open the door and go in.

Selling the bassinet proved to be easier than she had
hoped. In fact, the woman behind the counter asked if Katie could supply her with several more. Pocketing the cash, Katie thanked the saleswoman and gave her Elam’s name. If she helped him earn some extra income, it might make up in some small way for the fact that she’d had to part with his gift like this.

Once outside the building, Katie retrieved her suitcase and hurried toward the bus station. Main Street in Hope Springs ran north and south past shops, a café and small, neat homes with drab winter yards. Traffic was light. Only an occasional car passed her. Each time she heard the fast clip-clop of a buggy coming up behind her she couldn’t help but think of Elam and Nettie and how kind they had been to her.

In a secret place in her heart, Katie foolishly wished that Elam would come after her. She knew better, but the wish remained.

She prayed he and his mother were not offended by her abrupt departure. She’d tried to explain herself in the note she’d left, but words were inadequate to thank them for all they had done.

The bus depot lay at the far side of town just off the highway. Relief flooded through her when she saw the large blue and gray vehicle still idling beneath the corrugated iron awning outside the terminal. A man in a gray uniform was stowing a green duffel bag in the luggage compartment. She stopped beside him. “Is this the bus going west?”

“It is.”

“Can I still get a ticket?”

He slammed the storage lid shut. “If you hurry. I’m pulling out in five minutes.”

“I’ll hurry.”

Inside, she rushed to the ticket window, but had to wait for a couple, obviously tourists, to finish first. She glanced repeatedly at the large clock on the wall.

When it was finally her turn, she said, “I need a ticket to Yoder, Kansas.”

The short, bald man with glasses didn’t look up, but typed away at his keyboard. “We don’t have service to Yoder. The nearest town is Hutchinson, Kansas. You’ll have to make connections in St. Louis and Kansas City.”

“That will be fine. How much is it?” She pulled the bills from her pocket.

“One hundred and sixty-nine dollars.”

Her heart dropped to her feet. That was thirty dollars more than she had. This couldn’t be happening. She’d come so far. She’d even sold Elam’s gift to her child. Rachel began squirming and fussing. Tightening her grip on her daughter, Katie said, “Are you sure it’s that much?”

He looked over his glasses. “I’m sure. Do you want a ticket or not?”

“I don’t have enough, but I have to get on this bus.” What was she going to do?

“We take credit cards.”

“I don’t have one,” she admitted in a small voice.

“Then I can’t sell you a ticket. I’m sorry.”

“Please, I have to get on this bus today.”

“Do you want to buy a ticket to St. Louis instead of Hutchinson?” he suggested.

“No.” What good would it do to arrive in a strange city with no money and no one to help her? It would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. She turned to
look over the waiting room. Besides the tourist, there were two Amish men, both in black suits with wide-brimmed, black felt hats and long gray beards. The only other person waiting to board was a young soldier in brown-and-green fatigues.

Rachel began crying in earnest. Any pride that Katie had slid away in the face of her growing desperation. She left the ticket counter and approached the Amish men first praying they would treat her with the same kindness the Sutter family had shown her.

“Sirs, I must get on this bus, but I don’t have enough money to reach my destination. Could I beg you for the loan of thirty dollars? I will pay you back, I promise.”

The men stared at her a long moment, then one spoke to the other in German, but Katie understood them. “She looks like a runaway. We shouldn’t help her. We should send her back to her family.”

“Jah.”

The bus driver pushed open the outside door and said, “All aboard.”

Katie clutched the black gabardine sleeve of the Amish elder. “I’m not a runaway. I mean…I was, but I’m trying to reach my brother’s home. Malachi Lantz. Perhaps you knew him before he moved away from here.”

“We are not from Hope Springs. We came on business and now we must go home.” They picked up their satchels and moved toward the doorway.

Katie spun around to face the English tourists. “Please. I only need thirty more dollars to get home. Won’t you help me?”

The man hesitated, then started to pull his wallet out
of his pocket, but his wife stopped him. “She probably wants it for drug money. I’ve heard plenty stories about these Amish teenagers. Let’s go.”

Tears filled Katie’s eyes as she watched them leave. The young soldier stopped at her side. “I’ve only got ten bucks on me, but you’re welcome to it. I won’t need it. I’m headed back to my post.”

She shook her head. “It’s not enough, but bless you.”

He shrugged and said, “Good luck.”

As the people filed up the steps of the bus outside, Katie sank onto one of the chairs. Exhaustion rushed in to sap what little strength she had left.

The man behind the ticket counter came out and began turning off the lights. “We’re closing, ma’am. You’ll have to leave.”

Rising, she picked up her small suitcase and walked out with lagging steps.

The bus pulled away in a cloud of diesel fumes. The sight reminded her so much of her arrival only days ago that she started to laugh. Only her chuckle turned into a broken sob. She couldn’t do anything right. Everything she touched turned to ashes. She couldn’t run away. She couldn’t even run home. How was she going to take care of her daughter?

Dropping her suitcase, she sat on it and leaned back against the wall of the depot. She pressed a hand to her lips to stifle the next sob.

Rachel began crying but Katie was too tired to do more than hold her. Closing her eyes, she rocked back and forth. “What will become of us now?”