Kiss List (24 page)

He smelled amazing but I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity. “I’ve got an idea,” I said quickly. I grabbed Paul’s hand and pulled him through the locker room. When he saw where I was headed his voice got an octave higher.

“What... Where are we going?” he asked but he already knew the answer. I pushed him ahead of me and practically shoved him into the shower room. I had his shirt off before he could say another word. I stood back for a moment to admire his beautifully cut V-shaped abs. Thank goodness for puberty. He had a man’s body now, even if he didn’t know how to use it. Well, I could teach him that.

I began to push him towards one of the showers but he resisted. At first I thought we was going to protest the idea altogether but he came up with a different objection.

“Fair is fair,” he said. “If I’m taking a shower, then you are too.”

It took me a moment to realize what he was saying and then when I did
I suddenly felt shy. No boy had ever seen me without a top on before. Well, I suppose that wasn’t true. I wore bikinis during the summer. A bra was no different. After a moment I took my top off.

Paul took a step towards me and hooked a finger around my jeans. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Hey, I’m in charge here,” I said. “I decide who takes what off when.”

Paul smiled at me. His smile was so beautiful that it took my breath away. His gorgeous dark eyes made me feel weak in the knees. He didn’t say anything and didn’t have to. We both knew that he could get whatever he wanted with that smile. He slowly unbuttoned my jeans. I could feel the skin of his fingers, rough and calloused from playing sports, rub across the smooth sensitive skin at my waist. No one had ever taken my pants off before and I felt uncomfortable and yet exhilarated as he pulled them down. I kicked them off, relieved that I had worn reasonably sexy underwear.

“Fair is fair,” I said, using his tactic against him, and nodded down at Paul’s shorts. His smile grew as he pulled his shorts off. Underneath he had short black spandex with a grey waistband that stood out against his tan skin.

I marveled at his beauty. Paul could easily have been a male model, though he probably never would have agreed to that sort of thing. I was the only girl besides probably his mom to see him like this up close. I reached out and traced his abs with my fingers. They were amazing. He let me feel him as he turned on the shower. The minute it was hot enough to produce steam he stepped into the water and pulled me in after him.

The hot water felt incredible as it poured over my body. Paul rubbed my shoulders and my arms. Then his strong fingers began to probe the rest of my body. He touched my breasts and massaged them under my bra with his thumbs. He got
a excited grin when he touched my breasts that would have made me roll my eyes if it had not been so cute. Then his hands slipped down my body. I shivered under the touch of his fingertips even though the water was now very hot.

I looked down at Paul’s soaked spandex. I let my hands trail down his body. I kissed him as the water cascaded down our bodies. I savored the warmth of his skin and the strong feel of his muscles. Then I let my hands slide further down his body, which got warmer and warmer the closer I got to his crotch, until I had what I really wanted in the palm of my hand. Paul straightened and began to breathe more heavily as I gently squeezed the ample prize and enjoying watching his reaction and realization that, at least for that moment, I was very much back in charge. Yes, I had plans for this sexy boy. First I was going to tease him a little. We would just have to see where things went after that. I wistfully wondered why I hadn’t thought of this sooner. A shower with a gorgeous boy seemed like the perfect ending to a workout. Perhaps I would get the chance for many more showers with Paul.

“Okay, so tell us one more time what happened,” Payton said.

I giggled. “You’re not getting anything else out of me,” I said. “I’ve given you more than enough information.”

“But how was Paul?” Olivia
asked, her eyes wide.

“Let’s just say that he was a very fast learner,” I said, loving how much I was able to torture the girls. I also loved remembering the feel of Paul's body against mine and the way his... well, there were quite a few things I enjoyed about my time with Paul.

Payton shook her head. “You know what this means, right?” she said. “You’ve kissed all the boys on the list except for the Hall twins. You’re definitely going to have to kiss them as well. You’ve almost finished the list.”

“Yeah, and you’re going to have to hand over the pictures of you kissing Graham and the photos on your phone,” Olivia said.

“I’m already one step ahead of you,” Alyssa chimed in. “I’m transferring the photos from her phone and I found the flash drive Doug gave her and downloaded the pics.”

I looked over at my best friend in surprise. The little traitor was sitting in the corner of my room and holding my phone and the flash drive. “Alyssa!” I cried. “You can’t do that. How did you even get the password for my phone?”

Alyssa raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been your friend for a long time,” she said. “It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out.”

I groaned. My password was “Aaron.” Alyssa knew me too well. “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “There’s still no picture of me kissing Aaron and unless Alyssa can work her magic I don’t think there’s going to be one anytime soon.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you?” she said. “Just be patient. Give it time.”

Winter break was over and the girls and I had congregated in my room to do homework and work on the yearbook. I had missed them. Ever since they got boyfriends they had been busier. This was the first time we had all hung out together in my room since before winter break. It felt good.

“How about Paul?” Payton said. “Is there any future with him?”

I shrugged. “Maybe,” I said. “We’ve been exchanging texts occasionally. We’ll see where it goes.”

“Well, I for one hope you finish the list so we can put all the photos in the yearbook and beat Missy,” Olivia said. “Do you know she sent in a photo of her kissing yet another guy?”

I looked at the photo Olivia was holding in her hands. “You’re kidding,” I said. “She’s still dating Graham.”

“Well apparently she’s also hooking up with Austin Young,” Olivia said.

I wracked my brain trying to place the name. Then it hit me. “No,” I said. “Are you serious? Didn’t he graduate like two years ago or something?”

“Yep, he was homecoming king when we were freshmen,” Payton sat beside Olivia and looked at the picture. “I guess he was home for winter break. Wow, Missy is collecting homecoming kings.”

“But isn’t she worried the photo will ruin things with Graham?” I asked.

“She probably doesn’t care,” Payton said. “This photo wouldn’t come out until the yearbook does at the end of the year. Graham and Missy aren’t going to the same colleges. I’m sure she plans to break up with him anyway.”

I shook my head in amazement. That girl had no shame. I had been relieved when Alyssa told me that she stopped Gabriel before he confronted Missy and told her about my dad. I didn’t trust Missy one little bit and I certainly didn’t want her knowing that my dad was sick. She could make fun of me all she wanted but if she said a word about him I was going to snap.

“Forget Missy,” Payton said. “There is a certain pair of hot lacrosse twins we should be talking about.”

The girls quickly warmed to the topic of the Hall twins. I finally had to promise that I would look for an opening to get a kiss from both of them. In truth, I was nervous about the Hall twins. Guys like Paul were one thing. They were hot but nice, respectful, and inexperienced. I could take the lead with them. The Hall twins were different. They and their lacrosse and hockey friends were known as some of the raunchiest boys in school. Sure, they were ridiculously hot, with amazing and identical bodies, brown hair, and blue eyes. Still, they intimidated me a little. I was worried that if I kissed them they were going to want a lot more and would move faster than I was comfortable with. It was not a coincidence that I had left them for last.

True to my word, I made some attempt to track the twins down at school the following day. They weren’t hard to find. They didn’t hang out with Graham and his gang but they had their own boisterous following that tended to congregate in the commons area. I walked past them a couple times and hesitantly stopped once but when one of their hockey friends looked at me questioningly I hurried off. I just wasn’t ready to take on a whole group again. I would have to find some opportunity to get the boys alone.

When the one-minute tone sounded, warning everyone to get to class, I cringed. I had my history class next and it had become my least favorite by far ever since Missy had been placed next to me in the seating chart. I walked into the room slowly and did my best to avoid looking at her as she sat at the table beside me. At least we were having a quiz today. That meant there would be no partner activities.

I noticed Missy looking at me as Ms. Page passed out the quizzes. That made me disconcerted; Missy usually never looked at me unless she was making fun of me. I avoided meeting her gaze and immersed myself in reading the instructions on the front page of the quiz as soon as I got it.

Ms. Page finished passing out the quizzes. “You may begin,” she said. “Remember to keep your eyes on your own papers.” Ms. Page hated the two-person tables we had in the room. She gave all of us a stern glare to warn us against cheating and then settled down at her desk at the front of the classroom. She began reading through and grading the reports we had written before winter break.

I flipped open my quiz and began reading the questions. We were studying European history and the quiz focused on the Renaissance. It was a movement that I was particularly interested in so I felt confident. I began filling in bubbles on my answer sheet.

After about ten minutes of filling in bubbles I leaned back to stretch. That was when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Missy was looking over at my answer sheet.

I instinctively covered my sheet with my hands. My reaction wasn’t even because I was trying to stop her from cheating; I just felt insecure about my answers and didn’t want her to judge me. Then I realized how stupid that was. Missy was cheating! She should be the one feeling bad.

As soon as I covered my quiz Missy knew she had been spotted. Her eyes snapped back to her own answer sheet. I covered my answers as best I could and continued with the quiz. By now my concentration had been broken, however, and I kept looking over at Missy to make sure she was not trying to cheat off of me.

Sure enough, a few minutes later I caught her looking over at my exam again. This time our eyes met.

“Stop it,” I hissed. If we handed in the same answers we were both going to get in trouble. At Lakeville a student could get suspended even if she just let someone else cheat off of her. I couldn’t afford to have that blemish on my academic record.

“Come on,” she hissed back. “I need help. I had to hang out with Graham last night.”

Somehow the thought of Missy being forced to hang out with the boyfriend she had cheated on was not a compelling excuse to me. I shook my head.

“No,” I said. “Forget it. Do your own work.”

“I won’t pick on you anymore,” Missy pleaded. “Just let me see it.”

People at the surrounding tables were starting to glare at us. Missy was making a scene.

“Let me see,” Missy demanded forcefully. She tried to look over my arm.

“No!” I said. Except instead of saying it quietly I almost yelled the word. Missy jumped in surprise and at the other end of the room Ms. Page’s head shot up and her hawk-like eyes searched angrily for the source of the noise. They focused on Missy and me as I fought to shield my answers from Missy.

“Missy James!”
Ms. Page bellowed. “Hallway. Now!”

The color drained from Missy’s face. Her gaze slowly shifted back to me. She was almost trembling with rage. “You’re dead,” she hissed with a vehemence and certainty that sent a chill down my spine. Then she got up and left the room.

Missy was suspended for two days for cheating. After her suspension was over I walked around the building as quietly as a mouse. I avoided the common area as though it had been hit with the plague and always made sure I had several friends with me for lunch. I even hurried across the open areas in the parking lot for fear that Missy would try to mow me down with her car. I had this terrifying image of her laughing maniacally as she drove back and forth over my prostrate body. She didn’t come after me, though. I wasn’t surprised. Missy’s style was to make me cower in fear while she took her time crafting the perfect revenge.

At least there was some good news. My dad’s treatment was going well and as winter faded away and was replaced by spring I began to have some optimism. There was something about hearing birds chirping and seeing green grass that made me think of life. Plus, my competitive community soccer team started to practice outside. The additional sunlight seemed to improve my mood.

The downside of spring was that the girls started to get impatient about checking the Hall twins off the kiss list. We only had a couple more weeks before the yearbook pages were due to the printer and I did not have photos of them to add. Paul and I were friends with benefits but not in a committed relationship. Aaron was too busy at school for me to corner and talk to and he was nowhere to be found after school. I had run out of excuse so I ultimately caved in and redoubled my efforts to track the twins.

My first shot at one of them came during the lunch hour. The lacrosse team had a booth outside the cafeteria and was soliciting student signatures for a petition to let the team travel across the country. Apparently, the trip would take the team outside the travel radius established by the school board. The team was lobbying to get the travel restriction changed. It just so happened that one of the twins – I couldn’t tell which – was manning the booth. Unfortunately, two other lacrosse guys were there as well. I would just have to do my best to get the twin to focus on me.

I waited for an opening in the throng of girls waiting to sign the petition and, more importantly, talk to the boys at the booth. As soon as I saw a gap I thrust myself into the crowd and positioned myself directly in front of the twin.

“Hi,” I said to him. “What’s this petition about?” I knew exactly what the petition was about – the explanation was written on signs all around the booth – but I wanted to get him talking.

The twin had been talking to one of the other lacrosse players. He broke off when I interrupted him. “Uh, it’s so we can travel out of the state,” he said. “You’re a soccer player, right? Wouldn’t you like to be able to go to tournaments out of the state as well?”

I stared into the twin’s startling blue eyes and cute face. He wasn’t very tall but he was lean, athletic, and extraordinarily good looking. His brown hair was swept across his forehead, making him look like Zac Efron back in his High School Musical days. I reminded myself that the Hall twins were total players and renowned for their raunchy antics. I was going to have to exaggerate the flirting if I was going to keep his attention.

“That depends,” I said. I crossed my legs at the ankles, intertwined my fingers, and gave him my most dazzling smile. “Would you be coming with me?”

That caught the attention of one of the other lacrosse players at the booth. I saw him look at me out of the corner of his eyes. Focus, Sadie.

“
Wha... What do you mean?” the twin said.

“Well, I’m not all that interested in traveling out of state with a bunch of soccer girls,” I said in my best flirty voice. “But if the lacrosse team was going as well I think I could be persuaded to split a room with you.”

The twin’s confused expression deepened but the other lacrosse guy watching smiled. He leaned over and whispered something in the twin’s ear and then punched him lightly on the shoulder. A big smile crossed the twin’s face but it didn’t touch his eyes. That worried me.

“Hey, do you want to go back to the east gym?” he said in a loud, confident voice. “There’s something I want to show you.”

That sounded ominous. I hesitated for a moment. Well, what was the worst that could happen? I gritted my teeth and nodded.

I followed the twin to the easy gym without saying a word. “I’m Liam,” he said. I nodded, relieved that he had identified himself. I really did not want to have to keep calling him “you.”

“I’m Sadie,” I said. He just nodded as if he already knew that.

We walked into the gym. I was both relieved and anxious to find it empty. I awkwardly turned to face Liam.

Before I knew what was happening his lips were pressed firmly against mine and he was groping my butt. I almost jumped in surprise. I started to kiss back but he was so forceful and abrupt that it felt extremely uncomfortable. He pressed me against the gym wall and began to stroke my leg.

It was too much too fast. “Okay, let’s just slow down,” I said as I broke my lips away from his.

“Come on,” Liam said.

“No,” I said firmly. I pushed him back in annoyance. Liam’s eyes flashed in irritation and anger. I was so confused. What was going on? He had attacked me with his lips like he was on a mission. Every other boy I had kissed had relished the feel of my body. This was something entirely different.

“Crazy bitch,” Liam said.

My reaction was instantaneous. I slapped Liam directly across the face.

Liam staggered back in surprise and pressed a hand to his cheek.

“What is wrong with you?” I demanded. “Why would you treat someone like that? Do you really find enjoyable to be a jerk or are you just trying to live up to some sort of bad guy reputation? If so, that’s ridiculous and disgusting. I can’t believe I even thought about kissing you.”

I turned to go but Liam said, “Wait.”

I hesitated for a moment, staring at the gym doors. Something in his voice had changed, however. Hoping I wasn’t going to regret it, I turned back around to look at him.

Liam’s face had transformed. He looked stricken. “I, uh, I’m sorry,” he said.

I was completely baffled. Liam now looked like someone had kicked his dog and just moments ago he was forcing himself on me. It didn’t make any sense.
“For what?” I asked.

“I... for acting like a jerk,” Liam said, struggling to get the words out.

“And why should I believe that you’re sorry now?” I said, wanting to make him feel more uncomfortable. “Maybe you really are a jerk and are just acting like you’re sorry so I won’t tell all other girls in school and cut off your action. How can I believe you?”

Liam looked lost. I was just about to give up and leave when he suddenly said, “I’m gay.”

That took me completely by surprise. “Excuse me? Then why were you trying to force your tongue down my throat?”

Liam’s face was flushed and yet he started to shake as if he was freezing cold. He looked he was going to be sick. “Uh, nobody knows,” he said.
“Almost nobody.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk to girls and try to kiss them, though,” I said. “If you’re still in the closet that’s fine but don’t be mean to people.”

Liam sighed. “It’s complicated,” he said. “I told my twin bro that I was gay last year. He was furious. He said that if people thought I was a ‘fag’ they would think he was too because we’re identical. He threatened me and begged me not to come out in high school and ruin his life. Now he makes fun of me in front of other guys whenever I go for a while without having a girlfriend or hooking up with a girl.”

“And you’re uncomfortable with girls because you’re not attracted to them so instead you are just mean to them,” I finished for him. “You’ve figured out that if you are really mean to girls they will talk about what a jerk you are and all the other guys will think you don’t have a steady girlfriend because you are an arrogant player. Wow, so the guys at this school actually respect you more if you’re an A-hole to girls than if you are gay.”

Liam looked absolutely miserable. “Something like that,” he said. “Usually the girls don’t hit me though. You kind of shocked me out of my process. Please, just don’t tell anyone. I’ll be nicer.”

I didn’t know whether to feel disgust or pity. On one hand, I was revolted by the fact that Liam was intentionally hurting girls to be socially accepted. On the other hand, I realized that unless he wanted to live the rest of his high school life in hell, he didn’t have any good alternative. Whether a person was homosexual or not had never mattered to me before but I did know that Liam’s situation was not a healthy one. Something needed to change. Well, I had already gotten into plenty of trouble with guys before. What was a bit more trouble in the grand scheme of things?

“I think I might have an idea to help you out,” I said. “Tell me, do you know any other gay guys?’

Liam shook his head but then he stopped. “Well,” he said a bit sheepishly, “there is a hot boy that plays lacrosse for Roseville. I’ve heard he’s gay.”

“I just have one more question for you,” I said. “Do you trust me?”

“Not at all,” Liam said with conviction.

“Okay, well, then maybe I have more than one question. If I told you I could get your brother off your back and give you back the power to decide whether to come out or not, would you be interested in that?”

“Of course,” Liam said.

“Alright, listen up,” I said. “Here’s my plan. It’s going to sound a bit crazy, but it just might work.”