Kiss List (22 page)

“Fascinating,” Gabriel said thoughtfully. “I dink dat I should start challenging American girls to competitions more often.”

Despite Payton’s best attempts, Jamal won handily. Payton’s face was priceless. I had never seen someone look so happy that the person she was cheering for had lost. “Well,” I said quietly but pointedly to her, “it looks like the kiss list is done for but at least you got your man.”

“Nonsense!” Payton said. “You’re kissing Jamal. I’m not letting you out of it that easy. Just do me a favor. Don’t be too good at it, okay?”

I opened my mouth to ask what she was talking about but she spoke first. “Jamal,” she called out him. “If you kiss Sadie I’ll play you in darts and make a new bet with you.”

“Seems like a win-win,” Jamal said. His earlier cocky behavior was completely gone and now he seemed completely infatuated with Payton. “What’s the bet?”

Payton walked over to Jamal and whispered something in his ear. Jamal’s smile grew and grew as Payton continued to whisper. Finally, he looked as excited as a little boy waking up on Christmas morning to find a plethora of presents under the Christmas tree.

I knew what that smile meant. I walked up, tossed my phone to Payton so she could snap a photo, and gave Jamal a kiss.

It wasn’t a great kiss. It was more of a peck on the lips, really. It was clear that Payton and Jamal wanted to be the main show here. Of course, it was always nice to kiss a boy as good-looking as Jamal. I got to cop a quick feel of Jamal’s muscular chest and rippling abs but there was nothing magical about the kiss. Not like when I had kissed, say, Aaron.

After the kiss Payton insisted on remaining behind to play darts with Jamal. When I asked her what bet she had made she just smiled. Whatever she had planned, I knew I wasn’t going to get anything out of her.

Always the gentleman, Gabriel offered to drive me home. As soon as we got into his host parents’ car, which he had borrowed for the evening, I could tell that he had something on his mind. Finally, he said, “I don’t understand what
dat was all about. First da girl hates da guy and den da girl seems to like da guy. It makes no sense to me.”

“It’s complicated,” I said. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I know tonight was, well, unusual, especially when you’re leaving with me even though Payton invited you and then ignored you for the entire evening. The truth is that a few of my girlfriends and I made a silly bet about kissing certain attractive guys in the school. Jamal was on the list but Payton also liked him. It made things a little awkward.”

“I see,” Gabriel said. “And I am not on dis list, den.”

“No, actually, you are,” I said. “I’m supposed to kiss you if you, uh, don’t mind.” I couldn’t believe how openly we were talking about this. It was so much easier than it had been guys like David.

Gabriel gave me a startled look. Then, after thinking it over for a moment, be he began to laugh. “I do not understand you American girls,” he said. “I don’t dink I ever will.” He was smiling, however. He actually seemed flattered to have been included in our list.

“Just think of it as a cultural immersion exercise,” I said with a smile.

Gabriel gave an exaggerated sigh. “Da dings I do for dis country,” he said.

We finally arrived at my house. Gabriel pulled up into the driveway and then looked over at me. “How do you want to do
dis?” he asked.

I held out my phone and then took a picture as I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

“Dat was it?” he said in surprise after I had pulled away. “I’m sorry to tell you dat de Venezuelan girls kiss much better dan de American girls.”

I giggled. “Sorry Gabriel,” I said. “I’m afraid I can’t give you a full kiss either. You see, another friend of mine has a huge crush on you. Do you know Alyssa?”

Gabriel perked up when I said Alyssa’s name. “Alyssa likes me?” he said. “Da girl is brilliant and kind and beautiful.”

I stayed in Gabriel’s car for another five minutes or so and pitched my best friend to him. It wasn’t a hard sell. It seemed that Gabriel already had a crush on Alyssa. Before I left I gave him Alyssa’s phone number and he promised to give her a call to ask her out. I sighed. All my friends were going to have boyfriends except for me. This kiss list thing was totally not working out for me.

I unlocked the front door of my house as quietly as possible and slowly opened it, praying that my father was asleep. It was long after my 11 PM school-night curfew. My heart sunk when I saw a light on in the kitchen. I hung my head and slowly walked towards it.

My dad was sitting at the kitchen table reading something on his computer. Perhaps it was just the way the light cast shadows across his face but he looked tired and older than his 47 years. The grey at his temples had now spread across throughout his hair and he had deep lines across his forehead and at the corners of his eyes. It suddenly occurred to me how hard he worked to ensure that I was able to be a normal teenager. That realization made it all that much harder to face him now that I had broken his curfew rule.

“Dad, I’m sorry...” I began.

“It’s alright, Sadie,” he said, cutting me off. “Just don’t be late again. I’m actually glad we have this chance to talk while Caroline is asleep. I need to tell you something.” He pointed to a chair beside him at the table. “Please sit down.”

I sat where he indicated and readied myself for a lecture to rival the one I had gotten after my dad saw me kissing Dylan in the driveway.

Dad sighed and then looked at me. “Sadie,” he said. “I got some news from the doctor today. It turns out I’m having some health issues. I’m going to need you to help me out around the house and with Caroline while I take care of it.”

I forgot everything about the kiss list, boys, school, and soccer. Suddenly it all seemed frivolous. I got a sick feeling in my stomach that I hadn’t had since my mom passed away. It couldn’t be happening again. I couldn’t lose him. “What are you sick with?” I asked. “Is it cancer?” My mother had died from breast cancer.

“It’s a type of cancer,” dad said, “but it’s not at all like
mom’s and we caught it very early. The prognosis is extremely good. I don’t want you to worry about it. I am going to be a bit busier than usual with my treatment, however, so we’ll need to do things little differently around here. Aunt Julie may come and stay with us for a while to help out.”

I nodded, trying to be brave for him, but then I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I began to panic and suddenly I burst out crying. I hadn’t cried like that in years. I sobbed and sobbed. Dad wrapped me up in his arms and promised me that everything would be okay. A lot of people went through this, he said. There was nothing to worry about. He would be fine. They had told me not to worry when my mom got cancer, though, and I had lost her. I couldn’t lose my dad. I couldn’t. I cried and clung to him as tightly as I could. I never wanted to let go.

When my dad got sick everything changed. I told the girls the next day and we hugged and cried together. Well, they did most of the crying. I was cried out, or perhaps I was in shock. After my mother had died my dad sent me to a psychologist and I learned about the stages of grief. I supposed that should have made me feel more prepared for this but it didn’t. I didn’t care what stage of grief I was in. I didn’t care about anything except for spending as much time with my dad as I could.

The girls knew better than to bring up something as trivial as the kiss list. They had other distractions to keep them preoccupied anyway. Olivia was dating Ryan and for some reason beyond comprehension Payton was dating Jamal. Sweet little Alyssa, whom I could never have imagined with a boyfriend, was dating Gabriel. It sort of felt like they had all moved on to different stages of their lives while I was left behind. That suited me just fine. I didn’t care about friends or school anymore.

Dad was busy between treatment and work so I was responsible for getting dinner ready at home most nights. I had to drop out of indoor soccer but that didn’t really matter to me like it once would have. Caroline seemed to deal with the news well and she helped by cleaning the house and lending me a hand with the dishes. We got by.

It was an enormous relief when winter break arrived. School was becoming a pain and I wanted to spend more time at home. During Christmas I was almost able to forget that my dad was sick. We went to church on Christmas Eve like usual and then opened presents on Christmas morning. We had a tradition that we had to make at least one handmade gift for each other and we laughed as dad and I opened the abstract popsicle-stick sculptures Caroline had made for us. The only deviation from our usual routine was that we did not drive three hours to Grandma’s house to socialize with her and all of our uncles, aunts, and cousins from our mother’s side who visited on Christmas day. Dad had been insistent that we would go but when the time arrived he was just too tired. His treatments had taken a lot out of him so we rented some Christmas movies and watched them and our old home videos. Caroline and I were happy to do it. We both snuggled up to dad on the couch and we all watched the movies together.

I would gladly had spent the rest of my vacation without ever leaving the house but a few days after Christmas my dad said I had to go out and do something with friends. “It’s not good for you to stay in the house all day moping around,” he said. “I want to spend time with you but girls your age need to spend time with their friends as well. You need to get out of here for a while.”

“I don’t want to,” I said. “I just want to stay here with you and Caroline.” I hated seeing everyone’s sympathetic faces. I didn’t want them feeling sorry for me. It made me think too much about losing my dad.

My dad wouldn’t take no for an answer, however, and he practically forced me to dial Alyssa’s number. Alyssa told me that she had heard there was a wrestling tournament at the high school and she asked if I wanted to go cheer David on. I didn’t want to do anything of the sort but with my dad’s stern gaze boring into me, I reluctantly agreed. Maybe if I went and watched an hour of the tournament it would be enough to appease dad.

Alyssa and Gabriel came and picked me up. Gabriel was making jokes about looking forward to the cage matches and seeing the wrestlers slam chairs and TVs on each other. Alyssa tried to explain to him that he was thinking of a different kind of wrestling, though it was obvious to me that Gabriel understood perfectly and was just joking around with Alyssa. I didn’t have the heart to join in his game. All I could think about was my dad.

The high school parking lot was busier than I would have expected for a vacation day. I had never been to a wrestling tournament before but apparently it was a big deal. The tournament was in the west gym and we had to pay five dollars to an elderly volunteer to get in. When we opened the gym doors I was stunned by the size of the crowd inside. Throngs of people packed the stands and milled around in the corners of the gym. The gym floor had been covered in blue mats with circles in the middle. Two boys were wrestling in each of the circles while referees moderated the matches and coaches watched and shouted instructions. It looked like utter mayhem to me but everyone seemed to know what they were doing.

We managed to find a seat in the stands. Alyssa was chatting to Gabriel as we sat down. Then she suddenly said, “Oh no. What are they doing here?”

I followed her gaze. Several rows below us on the other side of the stands I saw Missy, Graham, and the usual group of football guys and cheerleaders that followed them around everywhere they went.

I groaned and tried to push myself back into the crowd of spectators so I wouldn’t be seen. They were the last people I wanted to run into. “They’re probably here to cheer for Jacob Goodwin,” I said in dismay. “He’s friends with them.”

“Don’t worry,” Alyssa said quietly. “I don’t think they’ve noticed that we’re here.”

Fantastic. Now I had to worry about both Missy and my dad. Maybe this was a mistake. I was considering leaving and walking back home and lying to my dad about spending the time with friends when Alyssa said, “Well, at least the risk of running into Missy is worth it to see that.”

I didn’t have to wait long to understand what she was talking about. A moment later I saw David. Now, there’s nothing than can make a girl forget that she has a sick parent. Nothing will even come close to erasing that pain and worry. In that instant, however, I learned that there was one other thing that a girl was at least capable of noticing: a perfect male body clad only in a tight-fitting spandex singlet.

If I had been in a better mood I would have started cheering or catcalling. It was probably best that I didn’t, however. David looked determined and focused. His opponent was a Churchill wrestler so I’m guessing that David was particularly amped up for this match. I settled back to watch.

I grudgingly had to admit that David’s opponent was good-looking. He wasn’t as tall as David but he made up the weight with more muscle mass. He looked like he could crush David but as soon as the match began I realized that David was good. Actually, he was more than good; he was amazing. He controlled the match immediately from the start, seeming to take the Churchill wrestler down and throw him into various holds as if he were a helpless rag doll. The view wasn’t too bad either. The boys’ muscles bulged and their veins popped out of their skin as they wrestled one another. How had no one told me what a steamy show this was? Two sexy guys with stunning bodies rolling around for six minutes, putting each other into all sorts of positions that allowed the audience to view them from every angle... it bordered on scandalous. My mind flashed back to when I had David all to myself while he was handcuffed to a pole and in his hot red singlet. Thank goodness Lindsey had talked me into taking advantage of that. A lot of people in this crowd might be fantasizing about what David looked like without his singlet but I was willing to bet that very few people had hands-on experience.

Ultimately, David won. When his hand was raised Alyssa leapt to her feet and dragged Gabriel and me up with her. We all applauded and Alyssa screamed her approval. I noticed with satisfaction that the Churchill wrestler looked furious. It served him right for what he and his friends had done to David.

Then my eyes wandered over to where Missy and Graham were. Missy’s cold, heartless eyes were staring directly at me.

I immediately dropped back down into my seat but it was too late. I had been spotted.

“It’s okay,” Alyssa said to me but her voice sounded anxious. “What can they do to you?”

Gabriel looked from us to Missy and back again. “What is it?” he asked. “Why does dis girl scare you?”

Missy got a cruel smile on her face and took out her phone. She began passing it around and pointing to me. Her friends’ eyes grew wide and they clasped hands to their mouths and began howling with laughter.

“What are dey looking at?” Gabriel asked in confusion.

Sam. I knew it as soon as I saw the looks on their faces. Missy was passing around photos of me and Sam locked together in the locker. My jaw tightened and I blinked quickly to stop the moisture gathering in my eyes. I didn’t know why I was crying. It was stupid. I guess people being mean to me when I was already so emotionally strained was just too much for me to handle. Knowing that I was crying made me want to cry even more. I was actually starting to cry because I realized how irrational I was being.

“Dis is not right,” Gabriel said angrily. “Dey do not know about your fahder and I will talk to dem.”

“No!” I said but Gabriel had already stood up and started walking towards Missy. “Uh, I just remembered that my dad said he was going to pick me up,” I said hurriedly to Alyssa. I stood up and started running down the stands.

“Sadie!” Alyssa yelled at me but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t want her or Missy or any of them to know that I was crying.

I bolted out of the gym. As I blew through the doors I only barely managed to avoid running into the old man taking people’s money. He yelled something at me but I couldn’t make out his words. I didn’t want Alyssa to catch me so I kept going. I sprinted to the doors to the outside and then a moment later I felt frigid air fill my lungs. I looked around quickly. If Alyssa tried to follow me she would expect me to make a run for the street. That meant the best way to escape was to run the opposite way and head down towards the stadium. I could take the paths through the trees behind the stadium and make my way to the side streets that way.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I didn’t think I had ever sprinted that hard in my life before. As soon as I got around the corner of the school I realized I was out of sight of all the people heading to the gym but I couldn’t stop running. My mind was screaming at me to get as far away as possible so I kept going. I didn’t even stop to zip up my jacket so it flailed about on either side of me. I must have looked like a crazy person.

“Sadie. Sadie!” Someone yelled. Oh no, had they found me already? No. I looked over and saw Aaron Caldwell driving beside me in his old Thunderbird. He had the window down and he was calling out to me. I could see Nate in the passenger seat and Noah and a couple other guys stuffed in the back seat. “Are you doing a workout dressed like that?” Aaron yelled.

That was the moment the world had been waiting for. Aaron had arrived so it was time to make me look like a complete fool. The moment my eyes met his I stepped on a patch of ice. My foot slipped out from under me and I instead landed on my ankle. I collapsed in the middle of the frozen sidewalk. I felt the side of my head slam into the hard pavement and I immediately began seeing stars. And then, of course, I burst out in tears.

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that it felt like it was moving my entire body. I instinctively curled up in the fetal position and I didn’t know what else to do so I just stayed there. For the first time I became aware of how cold it was. The cool air froze my throat as my lungs struggled to fill. Every part of me felt like it was in pain.

The car had screeched to a halt and I heard laughter waft out of the open window. A tiny part of my mind realized how comical my fall must have looked. “Sadie, you okay?” Aaron called to me. I didn’t answer because I couldn’t speak. I was crying and gasping for breath at the same time. I had no energy to spare for words.

I heard the car door open and more laughter floated around me. A shadow fell over me and then I felt Aaron kneel down beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you hurt?” he asked. I could hear concern spike in his voice even though the guys in the car continued to chuckle. They hadn’t seen me yet.

I wanted to answer him but I couldn’t. I lied there helplessly, feeling like an absolute wreck.

“Nate!” Aaron yelled, convening urgency with his voice. “Call 911!”

“No!” I gasped. “I’m...” I sucked in as much air as I could, “okay.”

“Wait!” Aaron yelled. “It’s okay Nate, just hold on for a sec.”

I head the passenger door open. “Is she alright or not?” Nate shouted.

“Just get back in the car,” Aaron said. Thankfully the car was a two-door the seats were down so the guys in the back couldn’t crawl out. I didn’t want anyone else looking at me. I heard Aaron rustling around and a moment later he laid his coat over me. I could smell his distinct fresh and clean masculine smell on the coat. It was comforting, somehow.

I slowly sat up. My head was still pounding but I didn’t think I had a concussion. Aaron put a hand on my back to support me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me in concern.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Everyone trips. Don’t feel bad.”

I realized he thought I was crying because I had fallen in front of them. I would have laughed if I wasn’t still crying.

“Is it something else?” he asked after a moment.

I nodded. I couldn’t speak out loud. I felt like such a blathering idiot. Stupid hormones. My dad was going to pull through. He was. A lot of people in the world were much worse off than I was. That thought only made me sadder, however.

“Alright, I’m going to pick you up,” Aaron said.

I shook my head – I was far too heavy for him to pick up off the ground and I had two perfectly functioning legs – but a moment later his arms encircled me and he lifted me into the air. I leaned my head against his chest, feeling stupid and yet safe in a way I had not felt since my dad told me he was sick. With Aaron’s jacket and his strong arms around me it seemed like nothing could hurt me.