Knowing Me Knowing You (42 page)

‘
No, I don’t want a cup of tea, I don’t want any cakes,
I
don’t want anything. In fact I don’t want to
be here at all. I’ve had enough.
I can’t concentrate, I’m going home. If anyone asks, tell them I’m sick,
’
Kate said, standing up and picking up her handbag from the floor.

‘
But, wait a second; you’ve got Mrs Briggs in half an hour,
’
Lynn
remarked as Kate put on her coat and headed for the door.

‘
Phone her and cancel or if she’s already left get someone else to see her,
’
Kate ordered.

‘
Well, I...
’
Lynn began.

‘
Bye
Lynn
,
’
Kate responded hurriedly and she left the Probate room and headed for the exit.

When Kate got into the car she burst into tears. She was done holding it together, now she couldn’t even go into work and just get on with things like she had done before. Now she was living in fear of Colin Sykes creeping up on her wanting a decision about her future plans for her career at
Randall’s
. She didn’t know. She didn’t know if she would ever know.

All she could think about at the moment was Joel and Matthew. She thought about Joel all the time lately, driving to work, at work, at home, in the bath, in bed. But every time she thought about him it was quickly followed by thinking about Matthew like she was comparing them. She seemed to flit from one to another so quickly. If she felt true affection for either of them she shouldn’t be comparing them should she?

Yet she found herself at
Highbridge
leisure c
entre, wanting to see Joel,
needing
to see him. She didn’t know where he was, she wasn’t even sure if he worked every day
,
but she got a coffee from the cafe and sat at a table overlooking the leisure pool.

Why was it she needed someone in her life? She was capable; she had kept her and
Bethan
afloat so far but all the time it felt like there was something missing. Did she really need a partner to make her feel whole? The very thought made her shudder. Women burned their bras and threw themselves in front of racehorses for equality. Did she really need a man in her life to make her happy and if she did was it Matthew? Was it Joel? Or was the truth that either one of them would do?

‘
Kate.
’

She heard his voice and looked up from her coffee to see Joel stood at her table looking at her. His hair was wet and he was wearing a black tracksuit. He had never looked better.

‘
What are you doing here? Aren’t you working?
’
he asked, sitting down opposite her and immediately noticing the watery eyes and pale complexion.

‘
Supposed to be, supposed to be seeing Mrs Briggs to talk about a Lasting Power of Attorney.
She wants to appoint her granddaughter
which
is bound to put her son’s nose out of joint but it’s up to her at the end of the day
.
S
he’s not gaga as far as I can make out, knew who David Cameron was, called him a silly arse,
’
Kate spoke with a sniff.

‘
Sounds like she knows exactly what’s what then,
’
Joel responded.

‘
She always wears a fur coat though and has an endless supply of extra strong mints in her handbag.
’

‘
Maybe she feels the cold and has bad breath,
’
Joel suggested.

‘
Maybe.
’

‘
Are you OK?
’
he asked
.

‘
Are you?
’
Kate asked, looking up at him.

‘
I thought about you a lot last night, after I left,
’
Joel admitted with a sigh.

‘
About what an absolute cow I’ve been to you since the minute we met?
’
Kate asked.

‘
No, nothing like that.
I just think it’s all got a bit intense. I mean we’ve been in a pressure cooker of a situation since
Knowing Me Knowing You
started and I think it’s just got a bit too much,
’
Joel explained.

Kate didn’t respond. She had
a knot in her throat
and
her eyes
were
brimming with tears as she looked at him looking at her with his beautiful moon
-
sized eyes.

‘
You’ve got so much to think about what with your
job and
Bethan
and the contest.
I was wrong to try and add more to your already full plate,
’
Joel spoke.

‘
What do you mean?
’
Kate asked, suddenly feeling terrified.

‘
I just think we need some space.
’

‘
No, we don’t, that’s the last thing we need
.
I mean we have a contest to tr
y and win and we need to practis
e and
...
’
Kate started frantically.

‘
I’ve got some time off here; I’m going to stay with my parents for a while,
’
Joel told her.

‘
In Kent?
’
Kate clarified.

‘
Yes, just for a week or so
.
I’ll be back in plenty of time for the final I promise,
’
Joel said, taking hold of her hand.

‘
Were you going to tell me?
’

‘
What?
’

‘
If I hadn’t come here, were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to leave, perhaps while I was listening to Coldplay?
’
Kate questioned.

‘
Of course I was going to tell you,
’
Joel insisted.

‘
When are you going?
’
Kate asked.

‘
Tonight.
’

Kate nodded and took a large swig of her coffee.

‘
I just think
we need some...
’
Joel began.

‘
Distance, space, yeah you said,
’
Kate replied.

‘
I just think it would be easier for you if I wasn’t here, just for a bit,
’
Joel added.

‘
You know you’ll be consigning me to a week of ready meals and cut price wine,
’
Kate spoke bravely.

‘
I’ll write out the omelette recipe if you like,
’
Joel suggested with a smile.

‘
Don’t give up on me,
’
Kate said suddenly.

‘
I won’t,
’
Joel told her seriously and he gave her hand a squeeze.

‘
Well, I’d better go.
T
he coffee here is terrible and I’ve got some dry cleaning to pick up. Not sure whether Giuseppe will have been able to get out the indelible pigeon shit but I’m keeping everything crossed,
’
Kate said as she got to her feet.

Joel smiled at her.

‘
Well, have a great time in Kent
.
B
e sure to call in on
the Ranch House
and see how it compares to Darlene’s service at the
Highbridge
branch.
’

‘
I will,
’
Joel said.

‘
Look, could you text me
?
You know, when you get there.
I worry, about
long drives and car accidents -
hazard of having your parents’ killed in one,
’
Kate said nervously.

‘
Sure,
’
Joel agreed.

‘
Well, I guess I’d better go. See you,
’
Kate said and before she could stop herself she had held out her hand.

Joel ignored it, put his hand to her face and pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply on the mouth before she could do anything about it.

She looked at him, her breathing rushed, her eyes watery and then she fled, running out of the gym as fast as she could.

Kate looked at her phone again. There were no messages. It was almost 11.00pm. She didn’t know what time Joel was leaving for
Kent
but she was thinking that parents of at least age fifty plus would be going to bed before midnight. But then again it was his family home, he probably had a key.

She had eaten spaghetti
bolognese
(six minutes to cook, two minutes to stand) and drunk a whole bottle of white wine while watchin
g a documentary about Gulf War s
yndrome. She now knew that flashbacks and nightmares were part and parcel of some of the returning soldiers’ lives.

She was just about to consider opening another bottle of wine when the phone rang.

She leapt on it hurriedly before the ringing woke
Bethan
.

‘
Hello,
’
Kate spoke quietly.

‘
Kate,
it
’
s
Hermione.
’

‘
Hi.
’

‘
Kate, I’ve just had a call from the hospital. It’s Joel,
’
Hermione spoke seriously.

Kate felt her blood run cold.

‘
What’s happened?
’
Kate exclaimed.

‘
They wouldn’t give me any details, they got my number from a message I left him about a suit fitting they’re trying to contact his parents. He’s on Marlborough Ward.
’

‘
I
s -
is he OK?
’

‘
I’m sorry Sweetie, I really don’t know,
’
Hermione replied.

‘
Oh God, I have to see him, I have to go there,
’
Kate spoke
panic-stricken.

‘
Give me ten minutes Sweetie and I’ll come and mind
Bethan
for you,
’
Hermione said.

‘
Did it sound serious? Was it a car accident? I told him to text me
when he got there and he hadn’t.
I knew something was wrong,
’
Kate gabbled, close to tears.

‘
I’m coming over.
’

‘
Mione
, I’ve been drinking, I can’t drive there,
’
Kate exclaimed as she caught sight of the large empty wine bottle.

‘
Cal
l a cab; tell them ten minutes -
putting my shoes on now,
’
Hermione told her and she ended the call.

By the time the cab dropped her off outside the entrance of the hospital she was a bundle of panic and her heart was bursting with fear. What had happened? How bad was he? What if it was critical? There was so much she wanted to say to him. So much she should have said before.

She walked onto the ward and took a deep breath. She was terrified. She looked at some of the patients in the nearest beds and put a hand to her chest, frightened at their injuries. None of them were pretty.

A nurse hastened towards her carrying some files and Kate cleared her throat to speak.

‘
Excuse me, could you tell me which bed Joel Brown is in?
’
Kate asked.

‘
It’s very late, are you family?
’
the nurse
enquired
, looking at Kate suspiciously.

‘
Yes, I,
er
, I’m his sister, Kate Brown. The hospital called me, told me to come,
’
Kate lied, hoping she was convincing enough.