Learning to Love Again (12 page)

NICOLE MADE HER WAY BACK TO THE RANCH AROUND LUNCHTIME, groaning when she saw Mitch’s truck parked in front of the house.  She parked beside it and climbed down, grabbing her stack of papers off the seat.  Mitch and Carly were both in the kitchen, eating lunch.

“There you are.  I was starting to get worried,” Carly greeted her.  “Pull up a chair, make yourself a sandwich. Where were you?”

“I drove over to my property, drove around for a while, tried to put to rest those old ghosts we talked about,” Nicole replied as she made herself a thick sandwich, and piled some potato chips on her plate.  “And then I started making some plans.  Nothing I’m willing to share yet," she cautioned as both of them opened their mouths.  “I still have a lot to think about.”

“Jason called, he said he try again later, but asked me to let you know his day is shaping up to be a killer, so he may not be able to see you tonight.”  Mitch told her, noting the slight blush.  “Three nights in a row.  Getting serious, are we?”

“We’ll see.”  She evaded.  “Since Jack was here this morning, do you still need me to go over those stock contracts with you?”

“Actually, yes.  He said if you didn’t mind, he’d appreciate it.  He said he’s pretty swamped over at the office and it’d be doing him a huge favor, and he’s not just throwing you a bone.  His words, not mine.”  Mitch assured her, when she raised an eyebrow.  “I’m going to go into my office now and catch up on a few things.  Come on in when you finish your lunch.”  Mitch pushed back from the table and stood up, pausing beside his wife’s chair to give her a tender kiss.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Carly asked, after he left the room.

“I am,” she nodded and smiled over at her friend.  “For the first time in a long time, I am.”  She, too, pushed back from the table and stood up.  “I am going to go and try to explain those contracts to Mitch in simple terms.”  She grinned at her friend, started to walk out of the room, and then turned back.  “I, uh, also need the name and number of your gynecologist.”  Laughing with delight, Carly dug a card out of her wallet and handed it over.

“Thanks,” Nicole muttered, feeling her cheeks flaming once again as she walked down the hall to her cousin’s office.

It didn’t take long to go over the contracts with Mitch; they were the standard contracts he and his dad tended to use when they were buying and selling their cattle.  She had made a few notations where she thought they should change a few things, so Mitch noted them for his father to look at when he got back on Sunday before they signed them.

“Thanks, Nicole.  We owe you for this.  Jack’s reputation has grown so much and so fast in the area, he’s pulling in more clients than he can handle.  You reviewing the contracts for him helped.”

She grinned over at him.  “I was happy to do it, you know that.  You sure you understand the changes I suggested though?”

“Yup.”  Mitch nodded.

“Good.  Then I need a favor.  I need to borrow your truck again.”

“Anytime.  Where you headed to now?”  Mitch tossed over a set of keys.

“Town.  If Jason calls, tell him to call me on my cell.”  Nicole wrote her Austin cell phone number down on a pad of paper and pushed it across to him.  “I’ll be back later,” she grabbed the keys and headed out the door.

Forty-five minutes later, she pulled up in front of Jack’s office and headed inside.  No one was seated in the outer office, but she could hear the low rumble of Jack’s voice from his office.  She stuck her head around the door jamb to let him know she was there, and he caught the movement out of the corner of his eye.  He motioned her in, and covered the mouthpiece with his hand.  “What’s up?”

She indicated the stack of papers she was carrying.  “I need to discuss some stuff with you.”  She told him.  He nodded and took his hand away from the mouthpiece.

“Look, I don’t think that is a decision you should be making lightly.  Let me do some research and I can get back to you on…” he paused to look at his calendar.  “I’ll call you before noon on Monday to let you know what I find out.  Okay?”

Hanging up the phone, he turned his attention her.  “Have a seat.  Can I get you anything?  Stacy is on vacation this week, but I’m pretty sure there are still a few cold drinks in the fridge,” he offered.

“No, I’m fine,” she handed the papers over to him.  “I signed off on these, and wrote a couple of notes down for you about a couple of changes I’d like to look into.”

“You didn’t have to get these back to me today,” Jack took the papers and put them off to one side.  “Everything okay?”

“Everything's great.  I just have a few errands to run here in town, so I thought I’d go ahead and drop those off for you.”

“Uh-huh.  Would one of those errands be to head over to the hospital, by any chance?”

“Maybe.”  She grinned at him.

“Tell Jason I said he owes me a bottle of whiskey," Jack chuckled.  “He’ll know what I’m talking about.”

Nicole stopped by the bank and talked to the account manager there to get some information and then she did swing by the hospital to try and surprise Jason, but he was in surgery.  She made a quick stop at the drugstore and was headed for home when her cell phone chirped and she frowned at the display when she recognized the number on it.

“Hello?”

“Nicole!  It is so good to hear your voice.  How are you feeling?”  Her former boss’s voice boomed in her ear, causing her to wince.

“I’m fine, Robert.  How are you?”

“Good, good.  Nicole, we’re in a bit of a pickle, though.  What would it take to get you back here?”

It was a good thing no one else was on the road.  She hit the brakes and swerved over onto the shoulder.  “Excuse me?”

“We need you to come back.”  Robert repeated, cutting straight to the chase. She could picture him at his desk, in his office, feet up in the corner, phone to his ear, and an unlit cigar in the ashtray, confident that she wouldn’t turn him down.  “We can’t bring you in as a full partner but that would be foreseeable in a year or so.  Otherwise, we are willing to meet any demands you might have.”

“Robert…”

“Shall we say Monday at eleven?  You can think about your terms over the weekend, and have plenty of time to drive up here from that little town you’ve been hiding yourself in.”  Robert ignored whatever it was she had been about to say, and she found herself agreeing to the appointment, and hanging up.

Stunned, she sat there for a few minutes, trying to think it all through.  She checked her mirrors and then pulled back out onto the road and headed for home, needing to talk to Jason.

But it was after ten o’clock that night before they were able to talk.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I got pulled into three surgeries, and had a few patients in the office I couldn’t reschedule.  But I thought about you all day,” he told her when she answered the phone.

“I thought about you, too,” Nicole admitted, her stomach fluttering as his deep voice washed over her.  “Where are you now?”

“In my condo, sitting out on the deck, enjoying the view.  I miss you.  What did you do today?”

“I reviewed the contracts with Mitch and spent some time with Jack, going over some leases he wrote up for me on my property.  Oh, I almost forgot.  He asked me to remind you that you owe him a bottle of whiskey.  What’s that about?” she asked him as he laughed.

“I’ll tell you all about it someday,” he promised, groaning.  “Listen, babe, I am wiped out, and I have to see all of those patients I cancelled today, tomorrow.  Tomorrow’s Friday.  Why don’t you pack a bag and stay with me for the weekend?”

“Jason…”

“No pressure.  But I want to spend time with you, alone, away from your crazy family.”

“That sounds like a great idea," she agreed.

“Then borrow a truck and meet me at my place at six tomorrow night.  I’ll grill,” he suggested.

“I do need to talk to you, though.”

“I promise, we'll talk,” he yawned.

“Ok.  I'll be there at six.  Go get some sleep,” she instructed, hanging up the phone.  Was it really only 24 hours ago that she'd fallen asleep in his arms?

The call from her former boss weighed heavy on her mind.  She hadn't told anyone else about it, wanting to talk to Jason first.  In her head, she could still hear every word her mother had ever had to say about giving up your own identity for a man, but her heart was beating out a different message.  She sat down in the chair by her window and looked out at the stars.  But they didn’t have any answers to offer her either.

“YOU’RE HERE AND BEARING GIFTS!”  JASON OPENED the door as soon as she knocked the next evening and took the cake she held.

“When I told Maria you were cooking dinner for me, she whipped this up.  She said it’s one of your favorite desserts,” Nicole followed him into the kitchen.

He turned around after putting the cake on the counter and pulled her into his arms.  “You're my favorite dessert,” he growled, his mouth hovering over hers.  “God, I missed you yesterday,” he proved it with a deep kiss and she let her bag drop to the floor.  He eased back, eyes on her face, searching for any signs of doubt.  “I could smell your perfume on my pillow last night and it drove me crazy.”

“I missed you, too,” she admitted with a shy smile, tilting her head back.  “You sounded so tired last night.”  Her eyes roamed over his face.

“I was.  Being woken up out of a sound sleep at five am, by a woman obsessed with my body, and then having to see patients, perform surgeries…I was beat.”  He leaned in and gave her another kiss that had her weak in the knees.

“Here, let me take your bag,” he grabbed her overnight bag and took it into the bedroom.  When he came back to the kitchen, he grabbed her hand and led the way out to his deck.

“I know I promised to grill, but I ran out of time.  Do you still like pizza?”  He indicated the box on the table.

“I love pizza.”  She confirmed, sitting down in the chair he held out for her.

“We’ll grill tomorrow night,” Opening the box, he held it towards her, allowing her the first piece.  “So, what have you been doing the past couple of days?”

“Well, I made an appointment with Doctor Lawrence for next week, and finished reviewing those contracts for Mitch and went over them with him, so that he can go over them with Uncle Steve.  I had a meeting with Jack.  And now I’m here with you,” she took a bite of her pizza.

“And for that I’m very thankful,” he leaned across the table and gave her a soft kiss.  She smiled back at him before asking “So, what’s this about a bottle of whiskey between you and Jack?”

“A bet he and I made once.  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, and he had a bottle of whiskey, which I think he had one drink out of before I finished the rest.  We had a stupid bet, which I guess he’s now claiming to have won,” he grinned at the memory.  “And that’s all I’m telling for now.”

“You finished off a bottle of his whiskey and he let you live?  He's slipping in his old age,” Nicole shook her head.  “I'm going to have to talk to him about that.”

“Ha ha.  Watch who you're calling old, little girl,” he frowned at her and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Oh, that's right.  You're pushing forty, aren't you?” she batted her eyelashes at him.

“Is it an issue?” he asked, his tone serious now.

“What, that you're a few years older than me?” she laid her pizza down on the plate and cocked her head to the side.  “Why would it be an issue?”

“Don't get mad at me…”

“Explanations that start with
that
are never good,” she raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything else.

“I looked up the old stories about your parents.  Your dad was quite a few years older than your mom.”

Shocked, she sat back.  “When...?  I mean, why?” she shook her head.

“Last night, after we got off the phone.  I surfed the 'net for a while,” his hand wrapped around hers on the table.  “And because I wanted to know more details.”

She huffed out a breath and withdrew her hand from his, pushing back from the table.  Moving over to the deck railing, she watched the small boats in the water.  The grip she had on the deck's railing had her knuckles turning white.  The noises behind her told her he was cleaning up the pizza and then he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.

“Don't be mad,” he implored.

“I'm not mad,” she denied, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.  Her head settled against his shoulder and they watched the boats on the water.

“If you're not mad, then what are you?”

“I'm not sure, to be honest.” 
Deep breaths, you already told him the worst of it and he's still here,
she reminded herself.

“So what did you find out?” somehow, her voice remained calm.

“Not much more than what you'd already told me, other than their ages.  Your dad was a lot older than your mom.”

“Almost fifteen years,” she agreed, letting go of the railing and placing her hands on top of his.  “They met through my aunt and uncle.  I don't know what he saw in her, or why she agreed to marry him.  She made all of us miserable.”

“And she just left that day?  No note or anything?”

“I had spent the day at the lake with a bunch of friends.  The house was empty when I got home,” she closed her eyes at the pain that was surging through her with the memories.  “We always left notes on the kitchen counter and there wasn't one.  I had no clue,” she swallowed hard.  “Uncle Steve said someone called Dad around noon and he'd taken off, saying he had personal business with mom,” she gave a harsh laugh.

“I'm sorry, babe,” he kissed the top of her head.

Turing into his arms, she laid her head on his chest, hearing the muffled sound of his heart beating.  “Just tell me you're sticking with me.”

“Oh, I'll stick," his hands rubbed up and down her back, trying to soothe and comfort.

“Where do we go from here?” she asked, leaning back to look at him.

“Nothing's changed,” he assured her with a lingering kiss.  “You alright?”

“Getting there.  I just have this great, big wall of confusion, insecurity and uncertainty, with a few doubts trying to creep in.”

He threaded his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp.  “Would it help if I told you that I love you?”

“It does help, thank you.  I love you, too,” her arms went up to curl around his neck, urging his head down for a soft kiss.  “But this is all so new to me.”

“Come on.”  He led her into the house and sat down on the couch, pulling her down to sit in front of him, between his legs, and started massaging her shoulders.  “Now, talk it out.  What are you confused about?”

“What
aren’t
I confused about, that would be easier to answer,” she answered.  “I’ve gone from thinking you hated me for what I did, to discovering you love me, in less than 72 hours.  I have to decide what I want to do with my life, and what that means for us, if there is an ‘us’…”

He pulled her back against him and tipped her chin up so she could see his face.  “There is most certainly an ‘
us’
.  If that’s one of the points you are ‘uncertain’ about, you can just check it off your list.  I told you the other night I am not letting you go this time.”

She offered a hesitant smile before sitting back up, and he continued the massage.  “Well, then there’s my land…”

“What land?  You mentioned something last night about property," he kissed the back of her neck.

“The land my father left me.  I’ve never done anything with it, well, except rent it out for grazing to area ranchers.  The house and barn were wiped out by a tornado a few years ago, but I own about twenty acres of prime ranch land,” she sighed as his lips started caressing the area below her ear.  “I can’t think…”

“Don’t think,” his voice was a whisper against her ear, as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth.  His hands were under her shirt and were making their way up to her breasts.  She groaned, arching her back and turning her neck to allow better access.  With a growl, he turned her so that she was facing him, her knees on either side of his thighs, straddling him.  Her shirt was yanked up and over her head, tossing it to the floor.

“Jason…Oh, God!” she brought her hands up to his head, gripping handfuls of his hair, trying to guide him as he trailed kisses down her neck.

“Is this what you need, baby?” he whispered, his tongue tracing the edge of her bra cup.  The clasp was undone and he was pushing the straps down her arms.  “Or maybe this?”  He brought one hand up between them, his fingers teasing her nipple.

She gave a little cry as he bent his head, taking her nipple into his warm mouth.

“Do you like that?”  Fitting her against him, he let her feel his own arousal.  Unfastening her jeans, he traced the edge of her panties, around to her back.  He eased his hands down to her buttocks, inside of her jeans and pulled her even closer.

“I’ve been hard all day, just thinking about you,” he murmured against her neck, kissing his way back to her lips, moving her against him, making her own ache almost unbearable.

“Jason, please…” she groaned, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, twisting it in her hands, while his mouth returned to her breast and resumed their torment.

“Tell me what you need,” he instructed, his mouth inches from hers.

“I need you.”  She arched against him, trying to ease the ache between her legs.  He stood up and carried her into the bedroom, his hands gripping her buttocks as her legs wrapped around his waist.  If they’d already been naked, he would have been inside of her.

He laid her on the bed, and pushed himself away and yanked off the rest of her clothes, and then his own.  “Next time, you can undress me,” he whispered, as he joined her on the bed.  He caught her mouth with his and kissed her.  His hand went between her legs, feeling her readiness for him, as he kissed his way down her throat, to her breasts.  “Are you still sore?” he asked, probing with first one finger, then two.  The sounds of how ready she was reached her own ears.

“Some, but I don’t care!” she panted, her hand stroking him.  “Jason, please!  I can’t wait.”

“First, let me show you…” he removed his hand, bent over her, and replaced his fingers with his tongue.  She thought she was going to fly off the bed.  She muffled her scream with her fist.

She was aware of him moving back up her body, covering her with kisses.  Entering her with one, hard thrust, she moaned.

“Are you okay?” he brushed the hair back from her face, and she opened her eyes.

“As long as you don't stop, I will be.”  She assured him, smiling.  He started moving within her, and she could feel every inch of him.  The tension started to build within her, and once again she felt herself riding the waves.  It was a long time before either of them said anything else.