Learning to Love Again (15 page)

NICOLE WAS SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE, ENJOYING a second cup of coffee with Helen and Steve, when Jason arrived on Saturday.

“Good morning.”  He greeted them, giving Helen a kiss on the cheek and shaking Steve’s hand.  He stood beside Nicole’s chair and leaned over to kiss her lips.  “Where are Mitch and Carly?”

“They went off to Austin for the day; Carly wants to start looking at furniture for the nursery and some other baby items.”  Helen told him as Maria brought over another cup for him.  She watched the ease with which he fit in with her family, and felt a tug at her heartstrings.

“What do you two have planned for today?”  Helen asked him, looking between them.

“If she’s up to it, I planned on taking her out on my boat.”  He raised his eyebrows at her, and Nicole nodded her head.

“That sounds like fun.  Should I have Maria pack us a cooler?”

“It’s all taken care of.  You just need to go grab whatever it is women need for a day on a boat, and we’ll head out.”  He smiled at her, and she found herself smiling back.  She went upstairs and grabbed a couple of towels, put her swimming suit on under her shorts and t shirt, grabbed some sunscreen, and headed for the kitchen.

“Ready?”  He stood up and reached out to take her beach bag from her, then grabbed her hand in his.

“We’ll see you all later!” she called over her shoulder to her aunt and uncle.  He led the way out to his truck, helped her up into the cab, and closed the door.

Not a lot was said between them during the ride out to the boat dock where he moored his small boat.  “How often do you take her out?” she asked as she watched him stow the cooler.

He handed her a life jacket and shrugged.  “Just about every weekend, depending on the weather,” he answered her.  “Come on, climb aboard.”  Holding his hand out for her to take, he helped her step down into the boat and then untied it, and gave them a push back from the dock.  He moved over to the wheel and started the engine and steered them away from the dock and out to the middle of the lake.

“Where are we going?” she asked, raising her voice to be heard over the motor.

“There’s a cove over there that’s pretty secluded.”  He jerked his head to indicate the general area.  “We can drop anchor and talk.”  Nicole nodded, and tipped her face up to the sun.

He steered them across the lake and into the small cove, where he cut the engine off and dropped the anchor overboard.  Grabbing a couple of bottles of water out of the cooler, he handed one to her.  He dropped down onto the bench seat in the back of the boat, and stretched his legs out in front of him, watching her.  She pivoted in her seat so that they were facing each other, as she waited for him to start talking.

“Before we do anything else, I need to know one thing,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, holding his bottle of water with both hands.

Nicole raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything.  He took a deep breath.  “I need to know how you feel about me, if you even want to try to make this work.”

She turned her head to look at the trees on the banks, listening to the gentle slapping sounds the waves made against the boat.  Compared to now, the years since her graduation from law school seemed empty.

Her eyes met his as she turned back to him.  “I think…no, that’s a cop out.  I know I love you, Jason.  And I do want to make this work.  But…” she held up her hand as he released the breath he’d been holding and opened his mouth to say something.  “But right now, I’m not sure where we stand, or what to do about it all.  The second I told you that I had an opportunity to get the job that I had been cheated out of, that I had worked my entire career to get, you were ready to call it quits, not even
try
to find a solution. 
If
we take another chance, start over once again, what happens the next time I get a promotion, or am asked to relocate?  I can’t keep doing this.”

He looked down at the bottle in his hands and then back up at her.  “All I can say is that I love you and I want to make it work, no matter what.  You said the other day that I need to be willing to meet you halfway, and that’s what I’m prepared to do.  I can’t lose you again.”

“And the job?” she asked, her voice soft.

“If you want it, take it.  If we need to move closer to Austin so that we both have to commute, we will.  I’ll sell the condo.  I can’t give up my practice here, at least not right now, but we can figure the logistics out later.”  He slid forward off the seat, so that he was in front of her, on his knees.  He dropped the bottle of water to the floor and took her hands in his.  “I love you, baby.  Please, just give me another chance to prove it to you.”

“You hurt me.”  Her eyes filled with tears and she tried to blink them away.

He let go of one of her hands and reached up to wipe the teardrops away with his thumb.  He leaned in and kissed her, his mouth moving over hers in a gentle caress.  “It won’t happen again.  I promise.”  He whispered, releasing a ragged sigh when he felt her arms come up and wrap around him.  They stayed like that for several minutes, until Jason pushed back from her and gave her a smile.

“Feel like swimming?”  He stood up and stripped off his shirt.

“No, I’ve never liked swimming in the lake, to be honest.  I like nice, clean, chlorinated swimming pools.  I’ll just stay here in the boat and watch you.”  She pulled her own shirt off, and removed her shorts, spreading a towel out on the bow of the boat to sunbathe.  Stretching out on her stomach, she closed her eyes, and between the gentle movements of the boat rocking on the waves, and the heat of the sun, she was soon asleep.

She woke up sometime later when she felt cold water being dripped on her back.  “Hey!”  She rolled over and sat up, glaring at him.

“It’s lunchtime.”  He grinned at her, holding another bottle of water out to her.  “And your back is a nice shade of pink.  I thought you should wake up and turn over.”  She took the bottle he held out to her, and moved over to make room for him as he climbed out onto the bow with her.  Sitting down behind her, he leaned against the windshield and pulled her back against his chest.  “Jason…”

“Shh.  I just want to hold you.  I missed you this week.”  He brushed her hair away from her neck and placed a gentle kiss in the groove of her shoulder and neck.  Resting his chin on her shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her.  “How was Austin?

She released a sigh and relaxed against him.  “Lonely,” she admitted.  “I was so hurt, and angry with you.  You do know that Carly offered to send Mitch and Jack after you, right?”

“I know.  When Mitch called to invite me to the party the other night, he warned me I’d better watch my step around her,” he rubbed his chin over her shoulder.  “Are you ready to talk about your decision?”

She shook her head.  “No, not until I have everything in place.  There are still a few loose ends I’m waiting to tie up, and then I promise, you will be the first to know.”  She reached up a hand and patted his cheek.  “Just be patient, little boy!” she teased with a soft laugh.

“Not one of my virtues,” he grumbled, turning his head and kissing her palm.  “You ready to head back to the dock?  I planned to serve you lunch at my condo.”  She agreed and they settled back into the boat.  He pulled in the anchor and steered the boat back across the lake to the dock.  They loaded their things into his truck and he drove them over to his apartment.

“Whoa!” she stepped into the condo and stopped short, looking around in amazement.  “What’s all this?”  Stunned, she turned around to look at Jason.  Every surface in the apartment held a bouquet of flowers, in every color imaginable.

He grinned at her as he stepped around her, grabbing her hand and leading her to the kitchen.  Indicating the white florist’s box on the counter, he stepped back as she opened it.  She gasped as she unwrapped the two dozen red roses wrapped in green tissue paper.

“Oh, Jason,” she sighed, her eyes welling with tears.

“A long time ago, you told me how much you loved flowers and that you’d never gotten any from a boy.  At the time, my parents had me living on a pretty tight budget, and I wasn’t about to explain why I needed money to buy flowers.   I’m sure the local florist shops will be out of flowers for the next few days.  I was only going to get the roses but I needed to show you how sorry I am for the way we left things last Saturday,” he stepped around her.  “I needed to replace that memory with a much nicer one.”

He took her hand and led her into the living room, where the furniture had been pushed back and a picnic lunch had been laid out on the floor.  “If it wasn’t over eighty degrees outside, I’d turn the gas fireplace on and really romance you.”  After helping her get situated on the blanket, he moved over to the iPod and speaker and turned on some soft music.

“How did you get all of this done?” she asked him, looking around in amazement.

“Carly and Mitch didn’t go to Austin today.  Mitch agreed to come over and move the furniture, and Carly went to get the food for me, and let the florists in when they arrived.  Helen can’t keep a secret, so they told her they were headed to Austin,” he explained, opening a bottle of wine and filling the two glasses in the picnic basket.  He handed one to her, and then stretched out on the blanket next to her, propping himself up on an elbow.

“To us,” he whispered, clinking his glass against hers.  She took a sip of the wine, and nodded in approval.

“What else do you have in there?” she asked, tipping her head towards the basket.

“All of your picnic essentials.  There’s fried chicken, still warm, potato salad, fruit, and chocolate dessert.”  He sat up and began pulling the items out of the basket.  “Are you hungry?”

“Mmm-hmm.”  She took the plate he handed her and filled it up.  The music from the speakers filled the silence between as they ate.  Once they'd stuffed themselves, Jason moved the picnic basket out of the way and reached to pull her down on the blanket, stretching out beside her.  She was on her back, and he leaned over her.  He reached up with one hand and smoothed the hair back away from her face, leaning down to kiss her.   She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss.  His hand traced a path from her throat to her stomach, and then he pushed her shirt up and groaned.  “I forgot you had your bathing suit on.”

She laughed and pushed him away. “We agreed that there would be no sex, remember?” she pushed herself to her feet and moved over to the window.

“Copping a feel and making out do not constitute sex,” he defended himself, standing up.  “But if it makes you uncomfortable…”

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable, Jason,” she turned back to face him.  “I don’t need to cloud my judgment any more than I already have.  You have this ability to make me throw my good sense and reason out the window, and let my hormones take over. 
If
I decide to stay in Waketon, it has to be because I want to for me, not because you’re good in bed.”

“Ouch,” Jason playfully rubbed a hand over his heart and stepped closer to her.  “Okay, I won’t try to coerce you back into my bed until after your decision is made.  How’s that?”  He held his hand out to her, and after a brief hesitation, she reached out and put her hand in his.  Pulling her in closer, he wrapped his arms around her, her head on his chest.

“I suppose, then, I should take you home before I get carried away.  Because when I am with you, all I can think about is getting you naked and in between the sheets,” he whispered in her ear, causing her to blush.  He chuckled, and plucked one of the roses out of its vase and handed to her.  “Here, take this home with you and think of me tonight when you are all alone in your bed.”

“So, what are your plans for tomorrow?” he asked as they drove back to the ranch.

“I’m going to drive back up to Austin.  I have a few appointments to keep, and I owe Robert my decision.” she told him, glancing down at their joined hands, waiting to see if he drew away.  He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

“I’m on call again tomorrow, but will you call me to let me know you got to Austin?”  He asked, keeping his eyes on the road.  “And let me know when you’ll be back?”

“Of course.”  She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.  “I’m not trying to play mind games or be a tease.  I just need…”

“It’s okay, Nicole. I get it.  I may not like it, but I do get it.”  He pulled the truck up in front of the ranch house and climbed out, coming around to hold the door and help her out.  “But know this right now:  I am not going to give up, and I am not going to let you give up.  Not this time.”  He pulled her up against him and gave her a hard kiss, leaving them both breathing heavy when he broke away.  “I’ll talk to you later.”  He walked around the truck, climbed back in, and drove off in a cloud of dust.  She climbed the porch steps, glanced at Mitch with a look that dared him to make even one comment, and headed inside and to her room.