Leigh Ann's Civil War (17 page)

"If you were in charge of me, what would you do?"

"Not fair," he said kindly. "But it wouldn't be pretty between us, either."

"No wonder he and Carol don't have any kind of a marriage. I'd sooner marry a crocodile."

"Now, it isn't your place to talk about his marriage. You overstep yourself. If I take you away, you'll grow up during the most important years of your life without him. And he's your guardian. He has a lot to contribute to your upbringing."

"You could be my guardian."

He smiled. "Sweetie, I told you, I'd spoil the hell out of you. But right now I'm more concerned about Viola. Has Teddy said anything yet about her being pregnant?"

"No. Anyway, she's married."

He raised his eyebrows. "You know this?"

"Yes. She told me. It's a secret. She and Johnnie were married when she went to Richmond. She didn't want the Cummacks to know, because they wanted him to marry someone else."

"You must tell Teddy this."

I looked at the floor. "How, when he doesn't talk to me?"

"Leigh Ann, if push comes to shove, you must tell Teddy. Even if Viola doesn't. You are obligated. Promise me."

When Louis said
promise me
like that, you promised.

He pulled some paper out of a drawer and scribbled a note, then put it in an envelope but did not seal it. The envelope had the mark of the mayor's office on it.

He handed it to me. "My last official act as mayor." He winked at me and came around his desk to kiss and hug me. "Leave this on Teddy's desk when you go home. Don't forget about that silver we buried."

"When will I see you again?"

"Next time you need a lecture about boys."

I got out of there fast, because I was crying. When I got home I read the note, as I supposed Louis had intended me to, because he had not sealed it.

Dear Brother:

She wants to go with me. I would love to take her, but I will not let myself. She belongs with you. You have always done right by her and I trust you always will. Right now, she's brokenhearted because she thinks you don't love her anymore. Enough of this discipline will make her strong; too much will kill her spirit. I pray you will know the difference. I wish you luck with the Yankees. Don't be too brave. Be back soon.

Love, Louis

Two days later I came upon Viola crying in her bedroom after breakfast. On her bed was laid out her best summer dress.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Nowhere." She blew her nose. "I've got to marry Jon."

I stood rooted in my place. My head whirled, worse than when I'd been on the cotton mill roof.

"Jon?" I repeated the name like the village idiot. "Jon? Why?"

"Because he went and told Teddy he's the father of my child."

"Jon did that?"
For a moment I had doubt. I counted the weeks. "Viola, he isn't, is he?"

"Of course not," she snapped. "You think I'd cohabitate with that low-down reprobate? He'd do anything to be part of this family. It's all he's ever wanted. He told me so."

I wasn't sure what
cohabitate
meant, but it sounded like it covered the situation.

"Then why marry him?" I asked.

"Because I've got to do the right thing and save the family name. Do you realize what a disgrace I'll be, walking around pregnant with no husband?"

"Why don't you tell Teddy you're already married?"

"Because Colonel and Mrs. Cummack have money and I don't want them to think that I want it for my baby."

"You have a marriage license."

"Yes, but the Cummacks will still think I'm after their money."

"When are you getting married?"

"Tomorrow evening. Reverend Pratt is coming here."

"You can't, Viola. Please!"

"I'm doing it. My baby needs a father."

There was no sense in arguing with her, no sense in getting her in a state again. I turned, remembering the promise I'd made to Louis. I scampered across the hall and knocked on Teddy's door, hoping he'd not yet retired for the day.

Carol answered. She was in her nightdress, a flimsy thing. It made me embarrassed, seeing her like that. There wasn't much that was hidden underneath it.

"Yes, Leigh Ann." Clearly she was annoyed. "What is it?"

"I have to see Teddy. Just for a minute. Please?"

"When are you going to get the message that he doesn't want to see you? Don't you know what you've done to that man? He's absolutely dispirited these days. He's put so much into you, and after the other day, he feels he's failed with you and he can try no more. He's down in his study, if you dare approach him. And if you do, please don't upset him. I'm waiting for him, so don't put him in a bad mood."

She closed the door in my face.

I ran downstairs and hesitated outside the study door. Then I knocked softly. There was no response. I turned the knob, opened the door slowly, and went in.

Teddy was at his desk, poring over the newspaper. He did not look up. "Who said you could come in here?"

"I have to talk to you, just for a minute."

"Did I say I wanted to talk to you?"

"Please—I know you don't want to talk to me."

"Then get out, please." He was still reading the damned newspaper, and he never raised his voice.

I took a deep breath and started again.
I'm doing this because I promised Louis,
I told myself.
And for Viola..
What I r eally wanted to do was throw something at him, the damned crocodile.

"Just listen to me for one minute," I said politely, "and you don't ever have to again."

He turned the page of the newspaper. "Leave, please."

"I won't. I don't care if you hang me by my thumbs. I don't care if you hit me."

More reading. "I want you out of here in two seconds or I'll drag you out. I mean it."

"Teddy, this isn't for me. It's for Viola."

He got up, came around his desk, threw down the newspaper, grabbed me by the arm, and dragged me out of the room. I fought him. I kicked him in the shins, and he yelled, "Ow!" I even hit him. In the face. I hit him good.

"Damned crocodile," I shouted at him.

He said nothing. He never hit me back. But before I knew it I was out in the hall and the door was slammed behind me.

I stood outside, my heart beating rapidly. I tried the doorknob. It was locked.
Oh God, what to do. Louis,
I thought,
this was all your idea. Tell me, what do I do now?

I must think!
"Teddy," I called out. "Teddy, please listen. Just this once let me in and I'll never bother you again."

If Viola marries Jon tomorrow,
I thought,
it's all my fault. And I won't stay around here. I'll run away.

"Teddy!" I called again.

No answer. I started to cry, bitterly. I slumped to the floor, leaning against the door.

Then I had a thought.

"Teddy, I know you don't want me around. Carol told me what I've done to you. So, how about this? If you hear me out, I'll leave. I'll go and live with Mrs. Stapleton, James's grandmother. She said she'd be glad to have me. Only all I ask is one minute of your time. Then I'll go."

No answer. So even that didn't work. Well then, I might as well go and live with Mrs. Stapleton, for all he cared. I might as well go and pack my things right now.

I leaned with my forehead against the door, accepting it all, even while I couldn't believe what had come about. Then suddenly the door opened and I fell in against my brother's shoes.

"Get up."

I scrambled to my feet and wiped the tears from my face. Tears were a sign of weakness.

He glared at me. "What's this about going to live with Mrs. Stapleton?"

"She said I could. So I thought ..."

He put a hand on the back of my neck, roughly, not lovingly, and pulled me into the room. "You told her about us, eh? You went over there and complained about me?"

"No, Teddy. I asked if she was frightened with the Yankees coming and she said yes. I offered to stay with her and she said she'd like that."

"Without my permission."

Oh, God, I was in more trouble.
"I figured you didn't want me around, Teddy."

"I don't, but I'm stuck with you."

Did he know it was a knife in my heart?

"Now what's all this blubbering about? What have you got to tell me that will only take one minute?"

"You can't let Viola marry Jon."

"Oh, you're telling me what to do now?"

I shook my head no.

"He came to me like a man and told me he's the father. Does he not measure up to your high standards?"

"He isn't the father."

"You are privy to this information?"

Tears were coming to my eyes again. His voice was so scathing, so bruising. "I wish you wouldn't be so mean to me."

"I know you do." But it meant no nevermind to him.

I had to be done with this or I would soon die. "She's already married. To Johnnie Cummack. He's the father."
There, I've done it.

I could say no more. Sobs came from my chest and I turned to leave.

He pulled me back, put his hands on my shoulders, and shoved me down roughly in a chair. "Stop that damned crying." There was disgust in his voice.

Somehow I managed to. He walked away and looked out the window, silent, his hands clasped behind his back. "Why didn't Viola tell me?" he asked.

I told him why.

"You damned girls will put me in an insane asylum yet." He turned around. "You can go now. I've broken my vow of silence with you, but I'm renewing it."

I walked to the door. There I turned. "Can I go and live with Mrs. Stapleton?"

"No. Now get out of here and don't bother me again."

I left.

On the fifth of July, around noontime, the Yankees came within two and a half miles of Roswell.

Teddy was at the mill. He had not come home that morning. He sent around a note telling Carol that he was riding with Roche out to General Kenner Garrard's headquarters at Sope Creek. And that all of us were to stay inside the house.

The sun was hot that day. I wanted to go down to the stream and swim. But Carol, considering herself in charge now, said no. "You know your brother's orders. Don't you dare disobey him now."

Viola and I were not even allowed out on the front verandah to enjoy the occasional breeze. We commiserated with each other in the front parlor. I closed the drapes against the sun. She slept and I fanned her.

At five o'clock Teddy came home, morose and as glum as I'd ever seen him. Primus, waiting for him out front, took his horse.

"Out of his sight," Carol directed me, as if I had the pox. She stood there at the front door, waiting with a tall glass of iced tea in her hand. He took off his hat, wiped his brow with his sleeve, and gulped down the tea.

I hid behind the door of the back parlor, listening.

"Thanks," he said.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You won't believe it."

"Try me."

"My mother was at Garrard's headquarters. My damned
mother.
"

"What was she doing there?"

He slumped down in a chair in the hall, rested his elbows on his knees, and put his head in his hands. "Seems she's been corresponding with him for weeks, advising him what's going on here."

"What did Garrard have to say to you and Roche?"

"Told Roche he has no order from Sherman for the destruction of the mill."

"Well, that's encouraging."

"I don't believe a damned word of it. Says he's considering Roche's claim of neutrality. I don't believe that, either. Says he wants the French flag in hand before reaching any decision."

I gasped.
The flag I had put on the roof?

"Cannice is running a bath upstairs for you. Or do you want to eat first?"

"He kicked me out of the mill."

"What?"

"Garrard. He kicked me out of the mill. It was my mother's doing. She's in cahoots with him. Couldn't think of any other way to hurt me, I guess. He's taking suggestions from her. He intends to arrest every man in town as a traitor when he gets here, and he's coming in a day or two. Mother claims she's done me a favor. Garrard says if I'm arrested I'm to be sent to prison. It's that or stay here and run the plantation. Keep it going. For Mother."

"For your
mother?
"

"Yes. So she gets what she wants, after all."

Silence.
Oh, God,
I thought,
this must be killing Teddy. First she gets him kicked out of the army, then the mill. And now he's to keep the plantation going. For her.

I wished I could run out into the hall and throw myself at him and put my arms around him. I couldn't, of course. He wanted naught to do with me.

Carol fed Teddy and then took him upstairs for a bath.

I went and told Viola what had happened. She cried.

"We're all finished," she said. "I'll wager Teddy runs off and joins the Confederate army."

The thought never occurred to me. But it was the only thing he could do if he wished to remain a man.

"What will we do without him?" I asked.

She gave a sad smile. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed that he doesn't give an owl's hoot for us anymore, Leigh Ann."

"Well, then
you
can take care of me," I said, "and I'll take care of you."

We hugged and it was a promise.

***

The next morning we had breakfast as usual, as if nothing had happened. But something had happened.

There was a new servant, a middle-aged white man taking care of Pa. Teddy introduced him to us. "This is Andrew," he said simply. "He'll be caring for Pa from now on. I expect you all to be polite and decent to him." That was all.

Viola and I just looked at each other. All traces of Jon were gone.

Teddy and Carol spoke quietly to each other. Teddy did not even cast an eye in my direction. He did not have much to say to Viola, either, but he always asked her how she felt. She would say she was doing fine and he would go back to his meal.

I did not exist for him.