Letting Go (Vista Falls #3) (19 page)

“Honey,” Brenna said, touching his back gently, “I’m sorry to say this, but that ship has sailed. Forget about Gabby.”

Forget about Gabby? That was like asking him to cut off a limb and pretend he didn’t miss it. “Not gonna happen.”

“Fine,” she said, rolling onto her back with a heavy sigh. “What do you plan to do, tell her and beg forgiveness?”

“I can’t tell her.” Any more than he could
not
tell her. He couldn’t live with that kind of lie between them, but if she found out the truth, she’d dump him faster than he could hit his knees to beg her not to leave him.

“Okay, it’ll be our little secret.”

“No!” He grasped his head tighter when it protested his shouting. “I can’t keep a secret like that from her. If she found out, she’d never forgive me. Besides, it’s not right.” If he found out Gabby had slept with someone else and kept it a secret, it would have destroyed him… then he’d have destroyed the guy who’d lured her away from him. “God, what am I going to do?”

It was no-win situation with no way out. If he told her, she’d hate him. If he didn’t tell her and she found out from someone else, she’d hate him. If he didn’t tell her, he’d hate himself.

When someone knocked on the door, Colt groaned and called, “Go away!”

“Colt?” It was a feminine voice he didn’t recognize. “It’s Taylor. I’m sorry to bother you, but could I have a quick word with you?”

Taylor. Rush’s fiancée. They ran the inn. Had she heard that he’d taken some woman back to his room last night? Was she there to call him out? Had she already told Gabby? Was his girlfriend already on her way to catch him in the act? He was so screwed!

“You have to hide in the bathroom,” he whispered to Brenna. He jumped up, groaning again when the pressure in his head made it feel as if an explosion was imminent. “Here.” He thrust her clothes at her before scrambling to pick up the empty condom wrappers from the floor. He shoved them in the drawer, fearing Taylor might spot them in a trash can.

“Relax,” Brenna soothed. “It’s not like it’s your girlfriend. Just tell her to come back later.”

Colt considered that but feared Taylor may already be on to him. If she was, that would only make her more suspicious.

“Give me one sec, Taylor,” he called, pulling on his jeans. He kicked his boxers under the bed, cursing softly.

“Fine,” Brenna said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll hide out in the bathroom like your dirty little secret.”

Colt knew she wasn’t happy about it, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He had bigger problems. He winced when Brenna slammed the bathroom door, but he didn’t have time for a pain reliever. Besides, he figured he deserved to suffer a little. Make that a lot.

When he finally opened the door, Taylor’s eyes drifted to his bare chest and she blushed. “Colt, I…”

“Sorry,” he muttered, pulling the shirt he’d grabbed off the floor over his head. “Come on in.” He wished he’d had time to crack a window. The room smelled like cheap perfume. But at least it didn’t smell like stale sex.

“I won’t stay long. I just wanted to…” Taylor wrinkled her nose. “God, was that smell here when you checked in?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess it was. I didn’t even notice.” He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I was pretty out of it, to be honest.” At her questioning look, he added, “Tired, I was tired. I guess I just passed out.”

Before Taylor could respond, Brenna turned on the shower. Colt cursed silently, curling his fists.

“You’re not alone?” Taylor asked, glancing at the bathroom door. Then she spotted the high-heeled sandals by the door. “But Gabby had to work this morning. She called me from her flower shop to tell me…” She shook her head. “Oh no! How could you?”

Her disappointment in him was nothing compared to his disappointment in himself. “I don’t know. It was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made, Taylor. I hate myself for it. But you can’t tell Gabby. Please.”

“Gabby’s my friend,” she said, stepping away as she spread her arms. “She loves you. Why do you think I’m here? She called me and Rush this morning to tell us about your father. She wanted us all to be there to help you through this. When I saw that you’d checked in last night, I had to come and see if there was anything we could do for you. I never imagined”—she covered her forehead with one hand—“that you would do this to her. I thought you loved her.”

“I do love her,” Colt said, fighting back tears. “I love her so much, Taylor. I can’t lose her. I’m so sorry about this. I don’t know how it happened. I just…” He knew he wasn’t helping his cause by making excuses so he said, “I hate myself for doing this to her.”

“You have to tell her,” Taylor said, crossing her arms. “She needs to know.”

“She’ll dump my sorry ass if I tell her about this,” Colt said, linking his hands behind his head as he turned in a slow circle, trying to calm his roiling stomach. “She’ll never speak to me again.”

“Can you blame her?” Taylor cried. “How would you feel if she did this to you?”

“I’d want to kill the guy!” When Taylor frowned, he admitted, “It would kill me.”

“She’s going to feel the same way. I refuse to be a part of deceiving my friend. Either you tell her, or I will.”

Colt couldn’t blame Taylor for giving him an ultimatum. In the unlikely event Sage ever cheated on Wes, he’d do the same thing. “I’ll find a way to tell her. Just let me get through the next few days first. I need to be there for my family as best as I can.”

She nodded. “I understand, but don’t wait too long. Gabby deserves to know.”

Gabby’s heart ached for Colt. Even though his father had been one of the least popular men in town, hundreds of people showed up to lend their support to his family. Yet Colt had barely said a word to anyone, including her. She tried not to take it personally, but it was hard when all she wanted was to help him through this and he seemed determined to go it alone.

“You okay?” she whispered when the pallbearers, including Rush and Wes, stood to carry the casket out of the church.

“Yeah.” Colt cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

She reached for his hand, noting his seemed cold and clammy. Understandable given the circumstances. “I’m here. Anything you need, babe. All you have to do is ask.”

Instead of responding, he released her hand and put his arm around his sister, who was standing on his other side. Gabby tried not to feel slighted, but it wasn’t easy. All day and the previous night at the wake, he’d seemed to be pulling further and further away from her. She’d invited him to spend the night with her again, and he declined, claiming he was tired.

The next few hours passed in a blur of sadness as Gabby exchanged muted words with friends while keeping an eye out for Colt, who still kept his distance from her. He finally claimed the seat next to her at the luncheon his mother was hosting at Rush’s inn.

“Hey, stranger,” she said quietly, smoothing the napkin in her lap while the waitstaff began serving salads at each table.

“Sorry I’ve been MIA, Gabby. You know how it is at things like this. Everyone wants to express their condolences.”

“Sure, I understand.”

What she didn’t understand was why he didn’t seem to want her by his side while they did. He’d claimed to love her just a few short days ago when his father died, but now he was acting like a polite stranger. He was treating her like everyone else who was a vague memory from his past, and it hurt. But she knew it wasn’t the time to express her feelings. She’d keep her thoughts to herself for now and hope he came around when he’d had time to process his father’s death.

They ate in silence, surrounded by Colt’s family, the minister, and his wife. No one said a word, as though they could all sense the tension and didn’t want to add to it.

“Excuse me,” Colt said after the plates had been cleared. “I need some fresh air.”

She reached for his hand when he stood. “Want me to come with you?”

“No, you stay here.” His gaze drifted across the room, and Gabby noticed a girl who’d gone to their high school. Brenda or Jenna, something like that. “I’ll be back in a few.”

She supressed a sigh as she reached for her water glass, trying to control the tremble in her hand. She had a sinking feeling that when the last mourner left, he’d impart the final bit of bad news—that he couldn’t stay. She didn’t know how she knew—a gut feeling, perhaps. But something told her all the sweet words Colt had said to her were long forgotten, at least by him.

“I’m sorry,” Colt’s mother, who was seated on Gabby’s other side, whispered. “I know he’s been difficult since his father passed. I don’t think he means to be. I guess everyone handles these things differently.”

“I guess so,” Gabby muttered, thinking she couldn’t imagine treating someone she loved the way he’d treated her. “I want to be there for him, to support him, but he’s not making it easy.”

“Please don’t give up on him, honey.” With a sad smile, she said quietly, “He needs you whether he realizes it or not. He always has.”

Gabby had gotten to know Colt’s mother a little through their mutual involvement in their small church, but they’d always avoided the topic of Colt. “I’d like to believe that, but I’m afraid I’d be deluding myself. Again. I can’t really afford to waste any more time doing that.”

“I know all about wasting time, sweetie.” She closed her eyes briefly before reaching for her iced tea. “I wasted most of my life loving a man who could never love me back. Everyone wondered why I stayed. So did I. But at the end of the day, it was because I loved him.”

“Love shouldn’t hurt, Genie.”

Her given name was Virginia, but everyone had called Colt’s mother Genie for as long as Gabby could remember. The first time she’d told Gabby to call her Genie instead of Mrs. Atkins, she’d joked that if she were a real genie, she’d wish for a new life. Gabby thought that was sad but understood given who her husband was.

“You’re right. It shouldn’t. But sometimes it does. I’m convinced that even the best kind of love hurts sometimes.” She smiled at Gabby. “You know what I mean. We’re all human. People say and do things they shouldn’t, and feelings get hurt. Or sometimes they don’t do things they should, like let those who love them hold them up when they’re too weak to stand alone.”

Before Gabby could respond, Taylor claimed the chair Colt had vacated. Genie excused herself, claiming she needed to use the restroom.

“How are you?” Taylor asked, reaching for Gabby’s hand.

“Forget about me,” Gabby said, looking into Taylor’s eyes. “Isn’t this your first funeral since…”

“I buried my husband and kids?” Her lip trembled when she nodded. “Yes, but I’m getting through it.”

Gabby gave her a hug. “Thank you for being here. You’re a good friend.”

“I’m trying to be.” She looked around the room. “Where’s Colt?”

“He stepped outside, said he needed some air.”

“Hmm.”

Gabby got the sense Taylor wanted to say more but was refraining. “It’s weird. He and his father weren’t close, but he’s acting like he lost someone who meant everything to him.”

Taylor’s eyes softened when she said, “Sometimes it’s more about the perceived loss than the actual loss.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your mind plays tricks on you when you lose someone you love. Instead of remembering all the times you had with them, you think about all the times you could have had. In the case of romantic love, it might be the wedding that will never be or the kids you’ll never have with that person.”

Gabby didn’t know why Taylor was talking about romantic love when Colt had just lost his father. “I suppose, but—”

“Gabby, just know that we’re here for you. I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thanks.” Gabby was more confused than ever. Shouldn’t Taylor have been offering her support to the one who had just lost a parent? Unless she knew something Gabby didn’t.

***

Colt suppressed a groan when Brenna stepped out on the patio and lit up a cigarette. “You shouldn’t even be here.” He glanced through the window, and his gut clenched when he saw Gabby talking to Taylor.

“I’m trying to be a good friend.” She tipped her head back and blew out a puff of smoke.

“But we’re not friends,” he seethed. “What happened the other night shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake.”
The biggest mistake of my life.

She looked through the window. “Have you noticed the way he’s been looking at her?”

“Who?” The last thing he wanted was to have a circular conversation with a woman he had no desire to talk to at all.

“Dave. He’s been watching your girlfriend all day.”

Colt scowled when he realized Brenna was right—Dave was watching Gabby. Son of a bitch. “I don’t even know why he’s here.” Unless he was hoping to use his father’s memorial service to get closer to Gabby.

“I asked him that,” Brenna said before taking another drag of her cigarette. “He said your mother is a client of his. Apparently his crew cuts her lawn.”

“Great,” he said sarcastically, hating that Dave had a legitimate reason for being there.

Brenna held up her cigarette, looking at it. “I’d quit, you know. Been off them for three months. Just started up again yesterday. Stress got the best of me, I guess.”

That explained why he’d never smelled smoke on her during their… exchange. “Why are you stressed?” he demanded, turning his back to the door. “I’m the one with everything to lose!”

“Are you blaming me for…?” Brenna looked over her shoulder, smiling sweetly. “Oh hey, Dave.”

Dave glanced at the cigarette in her hand before glaring at Colt. “Thought you gave those up.”

“I did.” She threw the cigarette on the ground then crushed it under the toe of her stiletto. “And I will again.” She winked at him. “Maybe I just need the right incentive.”

Dave rolled his eyes before slipping a hand into the pocket of his dress pants. “Yeah, well, good luck with that.” Both men watched Brenna walk back inside before Dave asked, “What the hell’s going on between you two? And don’t tell me nothing. I’m not blind. When I came out here, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.”