Lex and Lu (35 page)

“What’s funny?” Lu asked, self-consciously.

Lex grinned. “Nothing. Just happy to be in your mouth again.” A roguish lift of the side of his mouth preceded his sink back into the kiss. As he continued the onslaught, he began moving her toward the bed. He wanted her so badly. He felt their destination as Lu halted abruptly, then he gently pushed her down onto the bed. She sat on the side, suddenly stiff and nervous.

“It’s just me, Lu. We’ve been here before,” he whispered as he lifted her under the shoulders and gently shoved her into the middle of the bed so he could have better access. Coming down on top of her, he went into coaxing mode because he could tell her nerves were getting the best of her. Moving her hands above her head and holding her wrists, he moved his right hand to her stomach, bared by her uplifted arms. Lightly tracing her navel, he grinned broadly at her when her muscles tensed. “Still ticklish here, huh?” he asked, teasing her. “Where else? Oh yeah, collarbone,” he proclaimed as he moved his hand up, inside her sweater and traced her left collarbone, feeling her squirm against him, rubbing him in all the right places. When a reluctant giggle escaped from her lips, he moved in and swallowed it with his mouth.

He worked his way down her body, claiming his spot on her neck while leaving her collarbone in favor of her breast. Stopping, he moved his hands down and pulled her sweater up, over her head as she complied, helping him. In her most aggressive move yet, she removed his shirt at the same time, then watched him pull his undershirt over his head, baring his amazing body. He raised his eyebrow, as if saying, “Like what you see?”

Lu met his eyes. “I’ve had better,” she said mischievously.

Lex laughed. “Oh really?” he teased before dropping his head and surrounding her still bra-clad nipple in his mouth and pulling. At her gasp, he merely smiled, his mouth still at her breast. “Guess I’ll have to work really hard then, huh?” Then he removed her bra, pushed her back and gave all his attention over to her. As he licked and sucked his way down her body, she writhed and moaned, telling him what she liked and didn’t. When he couldn’t wait any longer, he got up and removed both sets of pants. When she was naked, he dropped between her legs and kissed her inner thigh, running his finger through her wetness. His tongue darted out, claiming her.

“Lex,” she gasped, “you feel so good.”

Driven on by her praise, he moved her legs farther apart and, with his fingers and tongue, pulled out a most magnificent orgasm whose breathy moans and groans he swallowed with his Lu-filled mouth. Standing, he left her. Lu’s eyes popped open as she followed his movements to the bathroom, watching his amazing athlete’s body, tatted up with artful works, lithely walk away, then turn back toward her. She tracked him and the heat of her gaze made him harder and more needy than he ever remembered being.

“Hey, beautiful,” he murmured as he put on a condom and fitted his body to hers.

“Hey there, yourself,” she said, smiling.

“I’m not quite done with you,” he said, before he leaned down and kissed her. She laced her fingers in his hair and kept his head in place as she deepened his kiss. Then she let her hands appreciate his body, moving over his back and amazing ass before moving her legs around him, surrounding him with her heat. He entered her quickly and deeply, pulling yet another moan from her mouth. He broke the kiss and moved away from her so that he could watch her. This time, as he moved in and out of her, their eyes were locked. When the second orgasm claimed her, she didn’t turn away. Instead she looked up at him and let go of every inhibition and doubt, riding the wave of pleasure while falling more deeply in love. He gazed at her, feeling her body milk his, seeing her let go, before he followed her.

Not wanting to leave her warmth, Lex stayed where he was, his weight still on her, while he came back to earth. Kissing her neck, he pulled out of her and rolled over, bringing her with him so that she was on top. He stroked her back, his hand gliding down and up her body, leaving a trail of heat wherever he touched. Kissing the top of her head, he said, “You are amazing, Lulu.”

He felt her smile before she said, “You know I hate that.”

“You do?”

She pinched his chest.

“Ouch. So vindictive,” he laughed while grabbing and rubbing her ass, both punishing and worshipping her. “You know how competitive I am.”

Moving her hand, she found his nipple and pulled it, then rubbed it between her thumb and index finger.

Groaning, he reciprocated. In his fastest recovery time ever, he was buried deep inside of her again, wringing responses from both of them he would have thought they were too tired to produce. They fell asleep, wrapped around each other, savoring their closeness and time.

Lex woke with a start and looked at the clock. Panicked, he shook Lu awake.

“Babe,” he whispered near her ear, “wake up. We have to put presents out.”

Bolting upright, Lu glanced at the clock. “Shit,” she muttered before grabbing Lex’s T-shirt and pulling it over her head.

They hurried to put Nina’s presents under the tree, attempting to preserve the few remaining Christmases that equaled Santa. When they’d finished, giggling the whole time, they returned to Lex’s room. He watched as Lu gathered her clothes and headed for his door.

He lightly grabbed her arm. “Where are you going?” he asked, even though he knew the answer. But he wanted her to tell him what she was doing.

“To my room.” She walked toward him and planted a kiss on his cheek. “This,” she said, moving her hand between them, “this is too complicated for Nina.”

“We’re her parents. How is that complicated?” he asked, trying to hold on to his irrational fear that this was it for them.

Lu looked at him, sadness in her blue depths. “Lex. We can’t. She won’t understand.”

He returned her stare. “So, that’s it?”

She sighed. “What is it you want, Lex?”

He hesitated. He wanted to tell her that he wanted her, them, a family. But she saw his hesitation and he could see her read it wrong. “I want you.”

“But don’t you see how bad that would be? What will happen to Nina when you don’t want me anymore?”

Frustrated, he ran his hand through his hair. “What makes you think I won’t want you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on, Lex, we need to be honest with each other. We can’t pretend to be a family with Nina. She’s already had to deal with too much this year.” Lu paused, clutching her clothes more tightly in her hands, searching for a way to say what she needed to say. “She has to come first, Lex. I need to do what is right for her, even if it’s at odds with what I want. I won’t be my mother.”

That last sentence summed it up for him. But he wasn’t done fighting.

“I love you, Lu.” He saw her eyes widen with a momentary spark of joy before she shut it down.

She offered him a sad smile. “Lex, you may love the idea of me, but I’m not sure you know what it means to love. I don’t mean to be insulting. But the only person you’ve truly loved is yourself. It’s only ever been about you. Please understand that I can’t put Nina through my heartbreak. She was too young, but this time she’d remember. And I won’t go back there—not even for you.” She walked toward him and placed one hand on his cheek. “I’ll always love you, Lex. But I can’t love you more than I love her.” She kissed his lips, lingering for a moment before she pulled away and walked out of his room.

Of all that had happened to him, that little speech hurt the most. He stood in the same spot for a long time, wondering what he could do to change their circumstance. Powerless, he walked back onto the balcony, gazing out into the vast sea, searching for perspective.

“I want to punch you!” Willa said to Lu, standing over her threateningly, while Lu sat patiently in front of her at the breakfast table following Christmas morning.

“You are one to talk,” Lu retorted, rolling her eyes. “Seriously?”

“Why are you throwing this away? This is what you’ve dreamed of since you were eight. And in earnest since he left. Why are you fighting this?”

Lu picked up the mimosa glistening in front of her and took a delicate sip, trying to not look at Willa in her outraged glory. Slow always frustrated Willa, and right now Lu was all about that. She took another sip, pretending to contemplate Willa’s questions. “Do we have any more champagne?” she asked innocently.

Sparks flew from Willa’s eyes as she scoffed and headed to the kitchen. She came back with a bottle of champagne and a pitcher of orange juice. Without saying a word, she poured equal amounts into Lu’s glass, then banged each onto the table, making the glass tilt precariously, forcing Lu to reach out and grab it.

“Temper, temper, Will.”

Willa sat unceremoniously in front of Lu and leaned forward so she was right in her face. “He loves you, Lu. How can you not see that?”

Lu couldn’t understand how they had ended up having the conversation. Christmas morning had actually been glorious. It may have been the alcohol as Lex had Bloody Marys waiting for everyone when they arrived. Who knew he was such a master host? Nina had buzzed around, acting as Santa’s elf, passing out gifts, and tearing into hers. The only tension-filled moment came when Nina handed Lu a present from Lex—but she was fairly certain she was the only one who noticed it. And, OK, maybe Willa. Then Lex, Pete, and Nina rushed to get the parents to the airport, leaving Lu alone with her bitch of a sister.

“Who are you and what have you done with that bitch who used to hate Lex?” Lu asked again, drinking her mimosa, working her way toward drunk.

Willa’s eyes gleamed hot. Grabbing Lu’s wrist, she shook it in front of her face. Lu tried hard not to look at the bracelet he’d bought her. The bracelet suited her so well it made her head hurt. Fucking bastard had to be good at gift giving too. With disgust, Willa pushed Lu’s arm away and sat back down, letting her head hit the table, telling the tale of her frustration.

“The question is who are you and what have you done with my fairy-tale believing, holding a torch for a man for nine years, pathetic brainiac of a sister.”

Lu rolled her eyes again. “For real, Will, why are you championing him?”

“Championing? I hate when you use your SAT words.” She looked away then back to Lu. “I don’t know. Probably that night he stayed at my house.”

“Oh, yes, the mystery night. The night neither one of you feels the need to talk to me about.”

“Yes, that night. We spent a lot of time talking. About everything, Pete, Mr. P., Jo, Mom. We avoided talking about you for most of the night. Then we couldn’t avoid it anymore. I told him how much I hated what he did to you that day—even though you never really came clean about what happened. The thing was, Lu, he hated it worse than I did. Once I knew that, the mad just melted away. He’s alone and lonely. Trying to be a good father to a child that’s had nine years without him. He just wasn’t who I thought he was. So, yes, I guess I am ‘championing’ with air quotes—him.”

They were both quiet for a while, Lu working on her drunk and Willa nursing her mad.

Willa hated quiet in the middle of a fight. It was like being in a sprint but stopping to polish your nails, only to finish the sprint later. It wasn’t how she played it. Lu smiled, thinking that she’d love to be there to see Pete and Willa fight. She thought it would be a damn trip.

“I just don’t understand. This is what you’ve wanted. Why are you holding back now?” Willa’s question was earnest and heartfelt, and as much as Lu enjoyed antagonizing her every once in a while, she couldn’t block out sincere Willa.

“I don’t know how to do it, Will. He’s everything I remember, but so much more. Of course I love him, but I don’t think I can control it. I feel like I would spiral into an abyss of Lex and lose myself in him. Even with Nina anchoring me, I don’t think I can be with him and hold on to everything else. And what happens when he leaves me the next time? I don’t know that I could face it. Imagine how interconnected we all are now. What would happen when we aren’t together? It would affect everyone and everything I love. The only way I can manage is to stay away.” Lu felt embarrassed admitting it to Willa, knowing Willa was more like their mother, scoffing in the face of romance.

“Why are you convinced he’d leave you?”

“He’s Lex Pellitteri, for God’s sake!”

“And?”

“And have you seen the women in his serial-dating list? They’re these amazingly beautiful women. I’m just me.”

Willa groaned. “You sound like an insecure sixteen-year-old. Get over yourself.”

And she’s back, Lu thought.

“Look, Lu, I’m not a mother. And I can see the concerns for Nina and her getting confused and the desire to protect her. Even though you didn’t include that in your little pity party. You two were made for each other. When God was handing out soul mates, you two were in the front of the line. You with him is a much better version of Lu. So you need to get your shit together. Don’t get on that plane in the morning without talking to him again. Don’t let him walk away this time. Because this time, you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”

Willa got up from the table. Picking up the debris as she went, she headed back into the kitchen.