Libera Me (3 page)

I turn her chin to face me. “Vanessa, you are enough just as you are. You will remember us one day. Until then, I’ll wait.” I lean in, brushing her lips with mine.

She trembles and I again have to force myself to hold back.

“What if the memories never come back?” she whispers. “Or worse, what if they do and I still don’t remember you.”

An awkward pause fills the air around us and I pull her into my arms.

“What if I’m really not
your
Nesy?”

“It’s okay. I’ll all be okay.”

We sit for a moment, locked in our embrace. Scared to move forward. Scared of the truth. I think about the necklace burning a hole in my pocket.  Maybe it will help her with a breakthrough.

Or maybe it will drive her further away from us.

What to do?

What to do?

My pulse rushes as we leave the restaurant. We walk to the bike, Nesy a step ahead of me, quiet.

I catch her hand and pull be back to me. “Vanessa,” I whisper in her ear, unwilling to call her Nesy until she’s ready. “I have something for you.”

She turns to face me, leaning against the bike. I pull the necklace from my pocket. The angel-wing charm dangles in front of her and I study her reaction, again searching for some sort of remembrance. Still nothing.

No recognition in her eyes.

No curiosity on her face.

Just a smile as she meets my gaze.

“It’s beautiful, Aydan. Thank you.”

I reach around her, fitting the clasp around her neck. Again the scents of vanilla and smoke invade my senses, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

“The minute I saw it I knew it could only belong to you.”

Not exactly a lie.

“I love it,” she breathes into my neck as she closes any distance between us. “Thank you.”

Her lips are against mine for a moment before she realizes what she’s doing and pulls away.

The distance is too much. I scoop her into an embrace, still resisting the urge to push things further. “Your memories will come back, Vanessa. I know they will.”

I gently kiss her once more before I can stop. She stiffens in response. Kisses me in return.

Our kiss deepens and I tremble. I want to lose myself to her. But I can’t. She isn’t ready. I know she isn’t.

“Soon,” I say, my voice quivering. I pull away and my body objects. “When your memories return.”

“You’re right.” Her voice is wispy, breathless. She looks away and takes a deep breath. “
If
they return,” she whispers to the night air.

The words scream through me. I turn her face back to mine. “I love you. No matter what.”

A storm gathers in her expression. She grabs for the charm, delicately fingering it. “I should get home.”

“Okay.” I take a step back as she climbs on the bike.

The scent of smoke and ash grows thick, filling my senses. Something stirs deep inside. Fear, and something else.

Something more.

Nessa’s eyes widen with fright.

—
What’s wrong?

Angry screams split the night sky.

—
I need to fight
.

And I fall to my knees.

—
You will pay
.

“Run,” I yell to Nessa.

My vision blurs as a fist connects with my jaw. I collide with the hard asphalt, my legs and arms scraping open. Two men drag me into the alley behind the restaurant and bind my hands behind me, nearly releasing my arms from their sockets. The pain streaks across my vision as my strangled scream dies in my throat.

Nessa tries to run, but not before two more men grab her, yanking her into the alley as well. My insides ignite as they hit her, cracking her lip open.

“Get off her,” I snarl. I pull against my captors’ hold. But it’s no use, I can’t get free. “You’re dead,” I growl to the man holding me. “You are dead.”

The vengeance is bitter on my tongue. I mean every word I’ve said. I will kill these attackers if I ever get free.

Nessa’s screams fuel my thoughts of revenge as I watch her squirm against the men. One grabs her hair, forcing her down.

“No!” I yell, understanding their intent.  A sharp thud collides with my head and my vision fades to black.

Screams, Nesy’s and the attackers, fill my thoughts as my mind closes in on itself.

Chapter 4 – Defend

Zane

Aydan’s anger clings to my thoughts. He’s in trouble. And so is Nesy. I forge a portal without thinking, my mind only focused on getting to her in time.

“Wait,” Cass says, reappearing next to me. “What are you doing? You’re blind. You won’t be able to see what you’re fighting.”

I ignore her words. I can’t let anyone hurt them. Hurt Nesy. Not now. Not after everything. The portal opens in front of me, a large tunnel through space and time.

A path to her.

“Zane! You can’t.”

“I’m not letting anything happen to them.”

“You mean
her
. And you’ll be more of a liability to her in your condition.” Cass grabs my arm, keeping me where I stand.

“Only if the attackers are demonic.” Who am I kidding? Aydan’s rage can mean nothing less.

“And if they’re human, you—”

I cut her words off with my hand and yank my arms free. “Coming?” I ask as I step into the vortex.

Cass steps in behind me as the tunnel swallows us whole. It takes too long to reach them; far too long.

Images dance across my thoughts—Aydan’s soul stripped in a kiss, Nesy slaughtered, Azza’s laughter in the background. And the smoke, forever lingering just out of reach.

My legs begin to wobble and Cass instinctively grabs my hand. Her presence calms me for only a moment before the movie replays.

“You need to focus, Zane. Stop imagining the worst.”

But how can I stop? I know it’s just a matter of time before these incessant visions come true.

I will protect you Nesy. I promise.

The portal opens to an alley next to a deserted parking lot. Aydan lies on the ground, blood pooling around his head. Nesy is pinned by two assailants. She fights against their hold, screaming into the night air. Her face is marred with bruises. Two more attackers watch, laughing with each of Nesy’s screams. I step from the portal, unable to move further.

“Wait,” Cass demands. “Do you smell that?”

Smoke and ash. Sulfur and decay.

Azza.

It can mean nothing less.

“Do you see anything?” I cannot hold the panic from my voice. Nesy screams and I know we’re out of time. I have to help her. “Cass! What do you see?”

“Nothing. Just the humans. There’s nothing else here.”

“Then let me go,” I grunt as I try to free myself from her grasp.

“No. You can’t interfere. The Council—”

“Well, I’m not going to stand here and watch her get hurt. Cass!”

“No! It isn’t safe for you. I’ll deal with this.”

A bright indigo light pours from Cass’s palms and coils around me, immobilizing me.

“Azryel’s Wings, Cass. Let me go.”

“No!” She steps from the portal, going to Aydan.

 “
Sancti
Mikayel.” The words float from Nesy’s mouth, more a thought than a phrase.

The large assailant laughs. “I told you to shut up,” he says as he slaps her.

Nesy growls. Spits in his face. He slaps her again and the sound echoes from the building. Blood trickles from her mouth.

“Dangit Cassiel, let me go and help her. You can’t let them hurt her.”

“We can’t interfere when it’s human to human, not without orders,” she yells over her shoulder.

Aydan moans as Cass lays her hand on his heart. In a moment he settles.

Nesy screams.

And the scene erupts into a flurry of grunts and groans.

Nesy’s assailant flies off of her, landing on the asphalt with a loud thud. Something shiny—a small knife perhaps—glints from Nesy’s hand. Her eyes are wild with rage, yet focused.

The expression of a warrior, a Sentinal.

“Cass?”

“I see her,” she says, still tending to Aydan.  

Nesy pulls herself up, her jaw clenched and her hands fisted at her side. “Come on,” she taunts. “Come on!”

The other attackers lunge forward. She ducks, spins, her moves as fluid as a well-choreographed dance.

She fends off the men, slashing them as they come for her. Parries and jabs, lunges and dips. A dance to the death.

The dance of a Sentinal.

“
Per virtutem Mikayel et Celestium
.”

“Cass, listen,” I say in shock. “She’s calling…”

“I know, I know. But, how?”

“I told you. It’s her. It’s Nesayiel.”

There was no other explanation.

“Release me, Cass,” I say, pulling against her invisible binds. “Please. Let me go to her.”

“Not yet. There’s something demonic here. I can smell it. Smoke and ash.”

“Relinquere Azzaziel. Ego damnare te ad Infernum.
I condemn you to the Abyss, Azzaziel.”

The ancient prayers fall from Nesy’s lips as she continues to fight, her eyes focused only on the would-be attackers. She slices the tallest man, leaving a bloody scar on his face as he screams.

“What? You don’t like that,” she says, jabbing the air between them. “You should’ve thought of that before you attacked me.”

Over and over she slashes the space. I try to move, pushing against the invisible barrier Cass has erected.  

“Let me go, Cass. That’s an order.” 

“No.” Cass stands, her body completely still. “Wait.” She closes her eyes and I can feel her heart reaching around us, through us. “Something’s wrong.” She searches for the unseen source of the attack.

“Cass?”

She holds up a hand.

A moment passes.

And another.

Nesy continues to slash the space, her attacker unable to escape. There’s no more time. She will kill him if I don’t stop it.

“Cass?” I squirm and push, unable to free myself from the indigo prison.

Time clicks by in silence.

One, two…

Two men run off.

Three, four…

Aydan moans softly as he begins to stir.

Five, six…

Nesy lunges at her assailant, throwing him to the ground. She pins him with the heel of her shoe, her eyes ablaze.

And the knife posed at his neck.

“Go,” Cass finally says.

Emerald light pours from my hands, forging an invisible barrier between Nesy and her nemesis. Her face ignites in fury and she turns to me.

“
Adepto de daemonium
.  Get out devil. Get out of my head.”

Her words startle me, almost as much as the fact that she can see me.

She raises the knife, half crazed. I push into her thoughts, shocked by the chaos. There is no trace of the warrior I once knew. Nothing but random thoughts.

Fear.

Rage. Burning rage.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I say. “I’m trying to help.”

“Get out!”

Cass floods Nesy’s heart as I continue to calm her mind. She is so lost, so confused. And nothing like what I am expecting.

Where are you Nesy?

Nesy fights against us, yelling words that make no sense. “Get out devil…you’ve cursed me…why did you send them…No…”

The words continue in a non-stop stream. Her mind breaks open, along with her heart. So much pain, so much suffering. I can’t bear to see it, her, like this.

My focus stumbles and Nesy raises her knife to my neck.

“You didn’t cause this Zane,” Cass says. “Focus. We have to get her to calm down before she’s lost completely.”

But I did cause this. All of it.

I push again into her thoughts, going deeper.

And deeper.

The pain claws through me as more words slip from her mouth.

“Aydan…payment…the Beast…forever.”

Nesy takes a step back and the knife slips from her hand. Her eyes widen. The color drains from her face.

Cass squeezes her eyes shut. “Keep trying,” she says.

I focus and try again. But nothing works.

Nesy falls to the ground and starts to convulse.

“No! Nesy!” I yell. “Cass?”

Cass pulls Nesy to her and cradles her body as we continue our efforts.

Nesy resists us both, falling into an abyss of her own making.

“Stay focused Zane. Try to reach her,” Cass whispers. She strokes Nesy’s hair whispering in her ear. “Let go of your fear. You’re safe here.”

“
Pax vobiscum
. Be at peace.” I push the prayer through her mind, whispering my own prayer to the Council.

Mea culpa.

This is all my fault.

Mea culpa.

Forgive me, Nesy.

Succurre.

Please, Mikayel. Help me.

Finally, Nesy begins to settle, her eyes no longer crazed, her body no longer shaking.

And her mind…

Quiet.

She draws a calming breath before slipping into a light sleep. Cass sets her body down and pulls me away.

“This wasn’t your fault.”

I can’t accept her words, her lies.

“And she isn’t Nesy, Zane. I’m not certain who or what she is. Regardless, it’s not Nesy. I would have felt her somewhere. And I felt nothing.”

“It has to be her, Cass. It just has to be.”

“It’s not.”

“And the ancient prayers? How would a human girl know those?”

“I never said I thought she was human. Clearly she is more than that. But she’s not our Nesayiel either.”

I open my mouth to protest, the words falling silent before I can speak them.

Cass is right. The
real
Nesy wouldn’t have felt so broken. So destroyed. So lost. Clenching my jaw, I walk away.

“Zane?” Cass’s voice clings to my skin.

My wings flutter in a nonexistent breeze and I spin around. “Where is she Cass? If this isn’t Nesy, then where is she?”

My mind swirls in a pool of anger and despair. Everything I’ve searched for, everything I thought I’d found, nothing more than a lie.

“I don’t know,” Cass says as she walks to me. “And it doesn’t matter.”