Libera Me (10 page)

I stand in front of her and she locks eyes with me. For a moment, I think she sees me. Until she drops her head and mumbles a make shift prayer.

“Help me. Please help me. They’ve found me again. I can’t keep running.”

There is a sadness in her voice as the words hang between us, screaming through me. I can’t ignore her pleads, can’t allow her to suffer.

I bend down to her, cupping her face. “I’m here,” I whisper. “You’re safe.”

Placing my hands on either side of her head, I watch her eyelids flutter and close. Electricity crackles as ribbons of light leave her head, absorbing into my hands. Images pass through my thoughts in rhythm with the currents. Pictures of a time long ago:

Snow falling.

A woman screaming.

“Go, run!” a girl yells.

The fear is palpable as the images scroll forward. One by one I help her release, replacing her anguish with peace.

She runs. Always runs.

More towns. More screams.

I double my efforts and her body begins to calm, the torment lightens.

Decades pass in a blur until more recent images emerge:

Aydan screaming.

Smoke. Ash.

And Azza.

      Here.

I startle, pulling back as the strange girl opens her eyes. She stares at me, her complexion almost translucent.

“You must find her,” she says, grabbing my hands. “Find her before it’s too late.”

I step back, shaken.

The girl stands, a slight smile forming on her lips and her green eyes refocused on mine.

“Find her,” she says again before running away.

Chapter 14 – ILLLUSIONS

Aydan

The rain pounds over me as the thunder and lightning continue to make their assault. Mounting the bike, I speed away. I have to find Nessa. She, alone, can quell this tempest. Just like she’s always done.

“Where are you?” I say, my words eaten by the wind. “Where?”

Determined, my mind racing, I push the bike faster and speed up the coast. I have to find her, hold her, kiss her.

“Where are you?” I scream in frustration. 

Home?

     
—doubtful.

Mountains?

     
—no idea.

Coast?

     
—where?

A strange truth blankets me as the bike shakes under the speed. I don’t know Nessa at all. Not in this life.

I spin up the coast, the bike skidding slightly. Shadows continue to draw my attention, blurring out from the jagged rocks and cliffs that line the road.

My body trembles in unison with the bike. Rain falls in sheets, blinding me.

I skid.

The road drops.

My mind screams.

Pain shoots through my arms, my legs, my ribs.

I roll, feeling chunks of skin scraping off of me as I slide against the pavement, stopping when I hit the face of rock. I growl, forcing my thoughts to gel.

I push myself up on my elbows, inhaling the blinding pain that sears through me. My bike spins, sputters, dies. It doesn’t look like I hit anything.

What happened?

Nothing makes sense—one minute I’m riding, the next I’m falling. I run through the crash frame by frame, but nothing accounts for the accident.

Except…

Someone walks down the road toward me. My age, tall with pale skin and black hair. Amber eyes like mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was me from a former life. Haunting and familiar.

Too familiar.

“You should be more careful,” the boy says as he reaches out a hand.

I grab it and stand, surveying the road rash and gravel imbedded in my skin.

“You’re Aydan, right? I have a message for you.”

I wipe the rain from my eyes and stare at the stranger. “Who are you?”

“That’s not important,” he says.

I turn away, impatient.  “Whatever,” I say as I walk to my bike. I have to find Nessa, she is the only thing I care about right now.

“You won’t find her. Not now.”

“Find who?” I pull up the bike.

“Vanessa. You won’t find her.”

I turn. “What are you talking about? Who are you?” My blood begins to boil.

“She doesn’t want to be found right now. At least, not by you.”

The stranger starts to walk away.

“Wait!” I hop on the bike.

The stranger keeps walking.

I pull down on the throttle and ride to him, stopping him. “Where is she?”

“Nowhere. And everywhere.” The stranger chuckles.

“That isn’t an answer,” I say as I move the bike toward him.

He stops, his face defiant. “It’s the only one you’re gonna get. At least for now. But I do have a message for you.”

“A message?”

“Yes. From someone in your past. He says you still owe him something and he intends on collecting very soon.”

Chills raise goosebumps along my arms as the apprehension swirls through me. “Who gave you the message?” I glance around, half expecting to see demons coming from the rocks.

“Oh, I think you know who it is.”

Azza.

      —
not possible.

Sulfur and rotting flesh fill the air as the stranger disappears. Laughter riddles through me and the marks on my neck again begin to burn.

I’m coming for you Aydan. There’s no escape. One way or another, I’ll have you.

“No,” I whisper.

I pull out my phone and call Nessa. It goes straight to voicemail.

Damn.

I send a quick text. And another. She’s in danger, I know it. I have to find her somehow. Warn her.

Closing my eyes, I reach out for the only help I can think of…

Mikayel, please. You have to help her. It’s my fault she’s in danger again. Guide me to her. Please.

I finish the prayer, mount the bike and drive, my destination unknown.

The beach is deserted. Rain sweeps over the ocean as thunder booms overhead.

Why am I here?
I think. There’s no way Nessa would come here in the rain.

A pier jets over the shoreline. Waves crash against the pylons, nearly cresting over the wooden planks themselves. The storm is harsher than I’d expect for this time of year.

A breakfront frames the far side of the beach. I walk over to it, the sand pelting my skin in the wind. My shoulders tighten with every step. There is evil here, human or not, I can still sense my former master.

I reach the breakfront and walk out onto the jetty. Waves spray water over my already drenched skin, burning when it hits the cuts and scrapes from the accident.

…I’m coming to get you…

Azza’s words float through me.
It can’t be real
, I wish. But I know better. The nightmares are real.

All of it is.

“Nessa,” I yell, hoping Mikayel has guided me to this place. My voice is lost against the storm brewing around me. “Nessa!”

Nothing but the howling wind greets me.

I scan the churning ocean before walking back to the shoreline.

Again I wonder why I’ve come here. And again I have no answers. I walk to the breakwater, calling for Nessa one more time.

It’s impossible to hear anything other than the wind and sea. I take a step onto the rocks, careful not to slip into the swirling water.

“Nessa,” I yell in vain. Every ounce of fear is poured into her name, every ounce of regret. “Nessa.”

I’m here.

The words are nothing more than a thought gobbled up by the wind.

“Nessa!”

“Here. Out here. Hurry.” Her voice is faint, but real.

I stare out onto the ocean. A dingy bobs up and down in the waves, sounding the bell that covers the top of it.

“Where are you,” I yell. “Nessa?”

“Here,” she says again.

I narrow my eyes, scrutinizing the ocean.

“Hurry. I can’t…”

The wind engulfs her words.

      —
are you really here?

Water splashes over the breakfront, drenching my already wet clothing, turning them into a heavy mass. My muscles shake as I make my way to the end of the jetty.

“I’m coming, Nessa. Hold on.”

The storm swirls around me. Water digs into my skin like little shards of glass. I squint, desperate to find her.

The buoy swings in the waves. Peering into the darkness I see her, clinging to the thin rails on the dingy.

“Hold on,” I yell again.

The tide moves in as walls of water crash against the breakfront.

I slip, colliding with the rocks.

My legs sizzle in pain.

“Please…I can’t hold on…” Each word is swallowed by the wind.

Am I hearing them at all?

I jump into the current, desperate to reach her in time.  The waves tether me to the rocks as the salt water unleashes agony through my open cuts.

I kick harder. I have to get to her.

Every muscle trembles and burns.

“Ayd…”

Her voice dies around me.

“I’m coming,” I sputter, water filling my mouth.

Desperately, I force my body toward her. I can’t let her die.

Not now.

Not like this.

“
Domine, exaudi vocem meam
. Hear me, help me.” The ancient prayer falls from my lips.

The waters calm slightly.

Or maybe I’m imagining it.

I keep kicking, swimming, slowly releasing from the rocky breakfront. Harder and harder I push until, impossibly, I near the dingy.

“Nessa,” I scream as a wave overtakes me and fills my throat. I sputter and spit, my lungs burning.

“Here Aydan. I’m here.”

“I’m coming,” I scream.

I see Nessa, her fingers wrapped around the metal bars.

“Hold on.”

I kick harder and reach a hand toward her. “Grab my hand.”

“Ay…”

She slips below the water.

“No!”

I grab the end of the dingy with one hand, searching for her with the other.

Nothing.

I dive into the murky depths. Everything is black. I can’t see anything, can’t feel anything.

I surface, yelling her name.

Again I dive.

Again there is nothing.

No evidence that she was ever there. I push myself deeper as desperation cramps my muscles. My lungs scream for air.

But still I swim deeper.

My arms reach out in all directions, feeling nothing but the water.

A faint bell tolls in the distance, muffled.

My lungs clench, the need to breathe overwhelming every other sensation. I release a couple of air bubbles, but it isn’t enough. I need to breathe.

Soon.

My mind goes blank and instinct takes over as I kick once.

Twice.

My head surfaces and I gasp for air.

“Nessa,” I cry. My body stops moving. “I’m sorry.”

So sorry.

I stop kicking and begin to sink below the water’s surface. It’ll be over soon—

My misery.

My nightmares.

This isn’t what Gabriel wanted for me when he gave be another chance at redemption, but I don’t care. I can’t live without Nessa. I tried that once.

Never again.

I open my mouth and allow the water to fill my lungs.

Everything inside burns. I don’t fight back, don’t resist.

No!

Something grabs me, forcing me to the surface.

No no no
.

Light filters through my eyelids. The burning in my lungs grows more intense.

My body drags through the water, pulled by an invisible cord. I feel my mouth open, feel water spurt from my lungs. Oxygen rushes through me and I am aflame.

I take a forced breath.

And another.

My mind swims.

Fades.

Chapter 15 – PRAYER

Aydan

My lungs scream for air. I try to open my mouth, unable to move. Panic weaves through me as my body begins to convulse. I have to breathe. Soon.

Now.

Relax.

The voice is not my own. I try to do what it says, stop the growing fear.

You’re just dreaming. Wake up, Aydan. Wake up now.

The voice carries no emotion.

Wake up.

My eyes spring open. The light blinds me. Shutting my eyes once more, I gasp and my lungs fill.

“Whoa, slow down. You’re scaring yourself. Open your eyes more slowly this time.”

The voice isn’t in my head. I take another deep breath.

“That’s it.”

Light filters through my eyelids, followed by the familiar white walls of my apartment.

“Better?”

I turn my head, blinking away the haze blanketing me.

A man, a stranger, sits in a chair next to my bed. Same black hair as the other stranger, the shadow. Same pale skin.

“You?”

He smiles.

His eyes have changed. Not amber now. Green. Too green. Familiar, somehow. “Man that was a nasty spill you took.”

“What?”

“The accident. You rammed your bike into some rocks. How you managed to keep from killing yourself or wrecking the bike is beyond me.”

His words are foreign as he recites events I don’t remember. “What?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Abe. I found you next to the side of the road. Must have been right after it happened.”

I edge up to a seated position and look around the space.

“I got your address from your wallet. Hope you don’t mind. You kept yelling at me to take you home.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. You were messed up pretty bad. Kept going on about some girl; needing to protect her.”

I stand, my legs wobbly. Scabs and scratches dot my skin. I walk to the bathroom. The mirror tells the whole story. My face is tattered with scrapes and bits of gravel. My jeans are torn in several places and my palms sting from the cuts.

I rinse off the remnants of the road.

“You know, you should get yourself checked out. Want me to take you to urgent care?” Abe—I think that’s what he said his name was—speaks from somewhere far away.

My head spins and I grab the sink. Closing my eyes, I focus only on my breathing.