Liberty (20 page)

Chapter Nineteen

R
yan sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Lexy to return with ice for his swollen hands. Something had told him to go back for her. Maybe it was God or conscience or common sense, but he was glad he did. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if Georgie had hurt her. It was odd, at first he thought they were kissing, that Lexy was so upset with him that she would let Georgie kiss her. But then he came to his senses. She would never do that. She wouldn’t betray him. He could have killed Georgie.

He would have, if Lexy hadn’t stopped him.

She returned. “Honey.” She knelt down before him placing an ice-filled towel on his open knuckles. “Are they broken?” She gingerly picked up his hand. It burned with pain and was swelling at a rapid rate.

“I’m fine.”

“Yes, you are.” She lovingly kissed his palm. “You are a good, fine man but you are hurt.”

She kissed his hand again, his palm, his middle finger, his pinky. Soft sweet kisses that were arousing him immensely. He touched her face with his free hand, stroking her cheek, even though his knuckles were aching. It was the way she was looking up at him with eyes that were almost worshipping. He didn’t want her to worship him. He wanted her to love him.

“I’m so sorry, Ryan.” They were always apologizing to each other. That would have to change.

“Kiss me,” he told her. He expected her beautifully formed lips to touch his, but they didn’t. Her hand sneaked into his jeans and pulled out his cock. He was hard before the air touched his skin, and when her lips touched his throbbing manhood he nearly died. “Lexy...” he choked when she took him into her sweet wet mouth.

“You don’t want me to kiss you here?”

“If you stop I’ll—I’ll divorce you.”

“Oh?” She looked up at him, mischief in her eyes.

“Please don’t stop.”

She pressed a kiss to his head, causing his whole member to twitch.

“Okay, but only if you tell me you love me.”

“I love you,” he said honestly. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

She smiled up at him, an easy smile, one that told him that she was no longer afraid of him.

Finally.

She took him in her mouth, her movements unsure, unrhythmic. He knew she had never done this before, only for him. She was giving him a gift and it was beautiful. Her mouth was soft and wet; her lips were warm and full.

“I’m going to—” he warned her.

“Mmm-hmm,” she moaned. That was it—he was going to have to marry her. His last girlfriend, Caroline, would never have been so—

He finished with a shudder before that thought was fully formed. Greedily he grabbed her off the floor and began to undress her. She had such beautiful hips, curvy and round and life-giving. When he took off her skirt and panties he kissed her thighs. Just the outsides at first, but the more attention he paid the wider her legs spread, and soon he was taking her hard little nub into his mouth. She stood there letting out contented sighs, running her fingers through his hair.

“Take off your bra,” he murmured, kissing her belly. It brought back memories of the first time he had kissed her there in the hospital. Soon she was naked, her lush honey-colored body was warm and waiting for him. “Get under the covers.”

She obeyed him and he disrobed, climbing in beside her. They huddled close together. Skin to skin, their warm bodies touching, their hands gently caressing. This moment was so close to perfect, but something was bothering him.

“You didn’t think I was going to stop him, did you?”

The tears came immediately and he knew he was going to have to kill Georgie. “He was drunk. You— They both were. When he grabbed me between my legs. You— He saw him do it and watched him for a moment before he walked away. I yelled and Lance pulled him off of me and took him home.”

Ryan shook his head. He couldn’t blame her for not trusting him.

“You aren’t him,” she continued. “I have to stop treating you like you are.” She closed the gap between their mouths and kissed him. “I want to try, Ryan. I want to be your wife. I want you to stay.”

“Stay?” He kissed her nose. “I don’t think I could have actually walked out. I couldn’t even leave you tonight.”

“I’m glad you came back,” she whispered. “He’s lost it.”

“I know.” He touched his lips to the spot on her neck where Georgie’s fingers were still visible. “I’m going to kill him. He’s a dead man.” He tried to kiss away all traces of the brute. He would try to kiss away her bad memories.

“Don’t. He’s not worth it.”

“Did he hurt you?” He brushed the curls between her legs.

She sighed in pleasure. “I seduced you so that you would stop thinking about it.”

“You did a good job.” He stroked her cheek, thinking about her sweet unsteady movements. “You’ve never done that before, have you?”

She scrunched her face adorably. “Was it awful?”

“No, baby,” he laughed and kissed her face. “I don’t think that can ever be bad, especially when you do it. Thank you.”

“Ryan never let me do that to him. He said only whores do that, and he married a virgin not a whore.”

“What an idiot.” He slipped his finger inside her lips and rubbed her clitoris lightly. “You should have left him then.”

“If I did I would never have met you.” She moaned as he played in her wetness. “Plus, I love naked war heroes.”

“They like you, too.” He captured her mouth and sucked deeply. She melted into him, moving her hips beneath his stroking hand.

“Ryan,” she moaned when he came up for air. “I don’t want to— I’m going to— I need you inside of me.”

“No,” he refused, slipping his finger deep inside her.

“You son of a bitch,” she moaned and promptly climaxed. He continued to stroke her through the aftershocks, feeling stupidly happy. “That was just evil,” she said when she finally got her breath back.

“I don’t think it was.” He grinned, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

“I want to tell you something.” She looked up at him. “I want you to know why I cried.”

“I was wondering,” he said flatly.

“It was just that it felt so good, and you were so sweet and I’ve never had— I’ve never—”

“Felt loved before?”

“I felt like a virgin all over again. And raw. It wasn’t you. I was waiting for him to come back. I was waiting for a reason to leave but you never gave me one, and I wondered what I got myself into.” She looked away for a moment. “You were very good.”

“And you were a basket case.”

She kissed his hurt knuckles. “Yes, I was.”

“Were you really going to leave?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitating. “If it would have kept you from going back into the marines.” She touched her fingertips to the burn on his stomach, the place where his skin was puckered and ugly.

“I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” He was serious. To him, love was not something to take lightly.

“Nobody has ever said that to me and meant it.”

“Your grandmother loved you. I know that for sure.”

“Yes. She wasn’t good with her words, but I knew she loved me. She showed me.”

He took for granted that his childhood was happy and filled with two parents who loved him and each other. He was told daily that he was loved.

“Tell me what you dream about.” She meant his nightmares—the ones that caused him to awaken in a cold sweat.

He swallowed hard. “I’m on fire in some of them. The heat rushes up my skin and I’m being burned alive in the desert. Other times I see a young kid with no arm and half a face calling my name, telling me he was going to marry some girl. That he was going home in three months...”

“That’s enough.”

She placed her fingers over his lips knowing that he was starting to get panicky. The doctors had warned them that this would happen, that he would have flashbacks, dreams, frightening thoughts. But those doctors also said that he would need to talk about his time at war. Just a little bit. Just enough to relieve some of the burden on his mind. “We can talk about it later.” She snuggled closer to him, throwing her leg over his hip. “Make love to me,” she whispered. “I like the way you feel.”

He rubbed his cock against her wet opening but did not enter. She trembled hard, never before had she looked forward to making love to a man she was in love with. Yes, she loved him. It was new and scary and so powerful that sometimes she couldn’t breathe properly just thinking about him. He was her husband for now, but one day he would remember, and when that day came he would leave her. Until that day came, she would love him as her own.

He kept rubbing his engorged penis against her wet opening over and over, causing her insides to quake.

“Please—” she begged. “You’re torturing me.”

“I know,” he grunted. “Now you know how I felt for weeks, spending my nights in pain because every time I thought about you I got hard.” He entered her shallowly, with little quick strokes so she never felt full of him. She had never made love in this position. It was a different sensation. It was driving her insane. “You made my life miserable.”

“You should have left,” she moaned as his strokes took on a delicious rhythm.

“I couldn’t. I was too in love with you to go.” His hand came up to cup her breast. He kissed her lips but kept his thrusts controlled and shallow. “I spend every night thinking of ways to make love to you. There are thousands of ways. I will show you all of them.”

“Thousands?” She thrust her hips forward, trying to take him in deeper. She wanted him closer. She wanted to feel all of him.

“No.” He grabbed her hips, keeping her at a distance. “I’m showing you what we can do.”

“Please,” she moaned. “I dreamed about you at night, too. I think about you—this—all the time. I wanted to climb into your bed every night.”

“Why didn’t you?” He thrust deeply just long enough to fill her once before going back to his shallow, torturous strokes.

“Because—” She lost her train of thought as her pleasure spiked. He tweaked her nipple with his fingers, bringing her to the present. “I didn’t know how to approach you. I didn’t know how to make love to you.”

“All you had to do...” He slipped and began to give her slower deeper thrusts, filling her up with his hardness. He felt delicious. “Was come to me. We would have figured it out. It would have been beautiful.”

“Like now?”

“Like now,” he agreed. He was panting, a thin sheen of moisture was beginning to coat his body. She could tell how hard it was for him to control himself. She forced her hips forward meeting his strokes with fervor.

“Relax,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let me.”

“Damn it, Ryan.” She was so close, but he was still playing games.

“I’m paying you back.” He kissed her face.

“I came to you last night,” she cried as she gave herself over to him.

“But you left me. I was going to make love to you again. Last night I only took from you. I wanted to give.”

“You did. I felt needed.”

“Did I hurt you? Is that why you left?”

It was getting harder for them to talk, their breaths shortened by their intense lovemaking.

“No. Mary called and told me.” She cried out in pleasure as he quickened the pace. “Told me you were going back. I was so angry that after all your nightmares you’d rather go back to war than stay with me.”

He rolled her over to her back, burying himself deep inside her. His gray eyes locked on her and she shivered. “I would rather die alone than not be able to touch you.”

“Ryan.”

Tears threatened, but she held them back. There had been too many tears shed between them. This was a time for love. He lost control at that moment, driving into her, taking her in insane heated movements. It only took a few moments before she climaxed. He kept going, taking his fill of her until she came again even harder than the last time. He finished, filling her with his hot seed. They lay there still connected in a mass of sweaty tangled limbs.

He looked down at her, brushing a light kiss across her mouth. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Love,” she murmured. “I’m flattered, but how would you know? You don’t remember past two months ago.”

He blinked and rolled off her.

“Believe me, I know.”

She grinned up at him, and within moments fell asleep in his arms. Sleep didn’t come so easily to Ryan. He lay awake for a long time thinking about what his life had become and what it could be.

* * *

Ryan woke up the next morning reaching for his wife. She wasn’t there. The bed was empty except for him. He had a flashback of yesterday morning. This is like a real-life version of
Groundhog Day.
He swore violently.

“What’s wrong, Ry?” She appeared at the door wearing a silk robe that was open, revealing her very nude body.

“I thought you went to sleep in your bedroom.”

“Nope.” Placing the mug she was holding on the nightstand she crawled into bed with him. “I went to make you some coffee and brush my teeth. I was here the whole night.”

“From now on we sleep in the same bed.”

She looked up at him with her slanted eyes.

Feeling uneasy about her silence, he asked, “You want to, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I hate this room.”

“Would you rather sleep in the other one?”

“No.” She bit her lip. She only did that when she was anxious, which made him worry. “Would you mind if I redecorated?”

“You can do whatever you want. This is your house.”

“But the money...”

“Don’t worry about the money.”

“The money from the cars won’t last forever.”

“It won’t, but I can get money if we need it.” He kissed her mouth. Money was not something they had to worry about anymore.

“You gonna rob a bank, champ?”

“No.” He kissed her mouth, lingering a little longer. “I have an ace in the hole.”

“Do you?” She gave him a seductive smile and wrapped her arms around him.

“Yes. I kept one of the cars, and I got offered a job at a dealership in the finance department.”

“Would you really leave Pep’s?”

“If we needed the money, I would.”

“Oh.” She cuddled close to him, resting her head on his chest and allowing him the freedom to run his fingers through her thick hair.