Lily’s War (14 page)

Lily answered in the affirmative and ran upstairs.

Ronnie’s neck and arms were covered in a rash which seemed to be spreading to his chest. He’d already had chickenpox and measles, so she was certain this was something different. ‘How d’you feel, love?’

‘Awful,’ he croaked. ‘Me throat’s terrible.’

She placed the back of her hand to his forehead and found it burning hot. She made him as comfortable as possible and went to see Mrs Draper.

‘Of course I’ll stay in the house with them, dear,’ said the old lady, patting Lily’s arm. ‘Not a nice homecoming for you. So sorry about your father.’

Lily thanked her and hurried to the doctor’s surgery to receive a promise that he would call later. She did some shopping on the way home and was relieved when Mrs Draper offered to take May to the park.

The doctor closed his black bag and gazed over his spectacles. ‘The boy has scarlet fever, Mrs Gibson.’

Lily’s hopes took a nosedive. She laced her fingers tightly together in front of her and cleared her throat. ‘He’ll need careful nursing then?’

‘You can’t possibly nurse him here,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m afraid I’ll have to insist on his going to the fever hospital, and everything in this room will have to be fumigated. Has he been anywhere near the cows or in the dairy?’

Lily shook her head and said proudly, ‘It’s spotless in there. Everything is scrubbed and scalded twice daily.’

‘I see.’ He allowed himself a pinched smile. ‘You’ll have to have a word with the men when they arrive about whether it needs doing again and if you can sell the milk.’

She nodded, resigned to that possibility. ‘How long will Ronnie need to be in hospital?’

‘It depends on how well the disease progresses. If we’re lucky the fever will abate within three days. I’ll arrange for the boy to be taken to hospital today. You can visit him in a couple of days and see how he is.’ He wrote out a bill and handed it to her. She glanced at it briefly, glad she had not touched Uncle William’s five-pound note, and handed him his fee, wondering what she would do if Ronnie didn’t start to improve in three days. It made her heart ache seeing him so poorly.

Matt came in shortly after Lily had done the second milking. Everything in the coolroom and dairy had been washed and scrubbed meticulously. An ambulance, which she had to pay for, had taken her brother to hospital. The fumigating van had called and the strong smell of disinfectant hung over the whole house.

He wrinkled his nose, watching her put on the kettle. ‘What is it?’

‘Scarlet fever. He could be a lot better by Monday.’ She forced a smile and changed the subject swiftly. ‘What happened at the inquest?’

‘Death by misadventure,’ he said carefully. ‘It’s OK for us to have the funeral on Friday. Your aunt and uncle were there. Ben said your Aunt Dora asked him if she could have Albert’s body taken back to the farm.’

‘Cheek!’ exclaimed Lily, anger flaring up inside her. ‘After the way she wouldn’t let him in the house, she thinks she can take over now!’

‘She said she’ll have someone lay him out properly, and buy the coffin.’

Lily stiffened. ‘What did Ben say?’

A slight smile lightened Matt’s finely boned face. ‘He agreed. He could hardly have the body brought back here with the way things are.’

Her anger faded. ‘Aunt Dora just wants to look good.’

‘Probably. But it could be that she wants to make amends.’

‘Hmmph!’ Lily folded her arms and strolled over to the fireplace. She rested her head against the mantelshelf, gazing into the fire’s glowing heart. ‘I suppose I should be grateful. People can get funny about dead bodies. It’s bad enough with Ronnie having the fever. Some’ll go elsewhere for their milk.’ She turned to face him, her blue eyes thoughtful. ‘What about a service, Matt? He was an unbeliever.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘You don’t consider we’ve an understanding, merciful God?’

‘Of course!’ she said impatiently, waving an arm. ‘But Dad wasn’t exactly a friend of his.’

Matt took her hand. ‘It’s your decision,’ he said softly. ‘We can just dig a hole and put him in it if you feel it’s more honest.’

A small laugh escaped her. ‘If he’d gone first, there’d be no doubt about what Mam would have done. She’d have had a service whether he’d have liked it or not. So we will and he’ll lie beside her.’

‘Do you want me to arrange it? I’ve got to visit the vicarage.’

Lily nodded and wondered what to arrange for Ronnie when he left hospital. She broached the matter with Daisy when she arrived home, hoping her sister had a few more caring thoughts about her brother.

‘Ask Aunt Dora if he can stay with them. They’ve plenty of bedrooms, good food and lots of country air,’ said Daisy, picking up her knife and fork. ‘This looks good, Lil,’ she said of the breast of lamb hotpot. ‘You’re a much better cook than I am.’

‘I’m not asking Aunt Dora,’ said Lily, her expression determined. ‘You’ll have to ask her when Ronnie comes out if you can’t be bothered to look after your own brother.’

‘I’m not giving up my job.’ There were two spots of colour high on Daisy’s cheekbones. ‘I told you we need the money.’

‘You mean you
like
the money!’

Daisy made an exasperated noise. ‘What if I do? It’s none of your business if you’re going to Australia. You just go and leave us to muddle through. We’ll survive somehow! As it is I’ll have to take time off for the funeral. When is it?’

‘Friday.’

Daisy nodded. ‘I’ve mentioned it to Mavis in work. She said she can lend me something black.’

Lily held her temper. Perhaps Ronnie would be all right and Aunt Dora would have him to stay?

Despite the short time they had to prepare, the funeral went off without a hitch. There were plenty of people there, and whether this was due to her father’s popularity as a character in the area, or people’s sympathy for the family, it did not matter to Lily. She was just glad he had a decent send-off. She and Dora were coolly polite to each other. William still seemed in shock and there were tears in his eyes as the coffin was lowered into the grave. He gave Lily an unexpected hug and said he was sorry about everything and asked after Ronnie.

‘I’m seeing him tomorrow. I’ll let you know,’ she said, relieved that all was well between them again.

The next day, because she was the only one allowed in to see Ronnie, Lily went alone to the fever hospital in Grafton Street, not far the from the Brunswick Dock. She hated the Victorian atmosphere of some hospitals, possibly because some had once been workhouses and she associated them with poor people’s misery. She was shown to where Ronnie lay in lonely isolation.

‘You mustn’t go near him,’ said a rustling, bestarched nurse. ‘Speak to him through the curtain.’

‘Why?’ said Lily bluntly, touching the damp heavy material which smelt overwhelmingly of disinfectant. ‘I touched him when he must have been contagious!’

The nurse strugged. ‘Those are the rules, duck.’ She stepped in a tray of disinfectant and vanished through the doorway before Lily could say more.

She parted the curtains and gazed at the figure in the high metal-framed bed. ‘How are you, love?’ she whispered.

Ronnie’s head turned slowly in her direction and immediately she noticed one side of his face was swollen. ‘Terrible,’ he answered in a faint, sad voice which wrung her heart. ‘I’ve got nothing to do but lie here and I’m still too hot and me ear’s killing me.’

‘Have you told the nurse?’

‘Yeah! But she hasn’t done anything much,’ he said fretfully. ‘Did you bring me any comics?’

‘Yes. And some orange juice. I’ll have a word with the nurse about your ear.’

‘Not now! I want to know when you’re going to Australia.’

Lily hesitated. It was easy to say to Matt they had to go and to tell Daisy she was old enough to cope, but now she felt a whole storm of conflicting emotions welling up inside her. She cleared her throat. ‘Tuesday.’

His eyes seemed larger and darker in his spotty face. ‘Will you still go if I’m dying?’

She forced a laugh. ‘If you can make jokes you must be getting better.’

He groaned and his thin face twisted. ‘I feel terrible, Lil! I tell yer, I hope our May catches this. She’s always going on about having something but never gets anything. It would serve her right!’

‘That’s not a nice thing to say about your sister,’ said Lily, a quiver in her voice.

Ronnie sighed heavily. ‘It’s not fair!’

There was another silence.

‘Will you go to Australia?’ he asked earnestly. ‘I know you’re married now but you could always go a bit later. Matt would let you. I know he would if I’m really ill.’

Lily sighed. ‘He wants me with him, Ron.’

‘You could ask him.’ Her brother looked at her mournfully. ‘I really feel ill.’

Lily was swamped with guilt. It wasn’t like her younger brother to complain. ‘We’ll see.’

There was a pause. ‘Is Dad buried now?’

‘Yes. Hopefully he’s with Mam.’

‘I wonder if I’ll go to Heaven and see her?’

‘Of course you’ll go to Heaven!’ Then she added hastily, ‘Although that won’t be for ages yet.’

‘I might die and you’ll be in Australia.’

‘You’re not going to die,’ she said emphatically, starting to feel haunted.

‘I feel like I’m going to die.’

Lily took a deep breath and changed the subject.

Afterwards she spoke to the sister about Ronnie’s ear.

‘We’re watching it. A suppuration of the ear happens in some of these cases.’

‘What’s that mean?’ said Lily, staring at her across a desk. ‘In plain English, please.’

‘It means that the infection from the throat has spread to the ear and is affecting the Eustachian tube. It is painful because of the pressure on the eardrum, but one can only hope—’

Lily cut in ruthlessly, ‘How long will it take for him to get better?’

‘One cannot say for sure. It depends on how he fights the infection. Other complications can arise, of course.’ She moved the open casebook on her desk an inch. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.’

Lily stared at her, her temper rising. ‘What do you mean, other complications? Are they dangerous? I’ll be leaving for Australia soon and I must know.’

The woman, who must have been some ten years older than Lily, lifted her eyes from the book. ‘It might never happen.’

‘What might never happen?’ Lily took a bottle of orange juice and several comics from her shopping bag and slammed them down on the desk.

The sister jumped. ‘Really!’ she said. ‘There’s no need to work yourself up, my dear. The hearing can be affected and in some cases the kidneys but there’s no sign of that in your brother’s case. Now if you really don’t mind, my dear, I’ve a lot to get through.’

Lily took a deep breath and thought of telling this woman what she thought of her. Some nurses were worse dragons than Aunt Dora. ‘Make sure my brother gets the comics and orange juice. Thank you for being so understanding and easing my mind.’ She walked away. If it hadn’t been for the risk of infecting others she would have liked to have carried her brother out of the hospital and taken him home.

On Sunday May’s luck ran out when she came out in a rash and was taken to join her brother. The smell of disinfectant in the house was doubly overpowering and Lily’s head ached unbearably.

‘Two of them!’ cried Daisy, covering her eyes with a hand as she rested one elbow on the table. ‘How can I cope with two of them when they come out of hospital? Especially as from what you say our Ronnie might have problems! I just can’t handle this, Lil! I’m not maternal like you!’

‘You said you were going to ask Aunt Dora to have them,’ said Lily, shooting Matt an uncertain glance. He was supposedly reading his Bible but she could tell he was listening.

‘That was a joke,’ groaned Daisy.

‘Try her, anyway.’

‘She’ll say they’re my responsibility!’ She stared at Lily. ‘Couldn’t you just stay a bit longer – till they’re both back at school? I mean, you said the nurse said our Ronnie could lose his hearing in that ear. How do I cope with that?’

‘She needs sacking, that woman,’ said Ben, who had remained silent so far. ‘Worrying our Lil when there’s nothing she can do about it.’

‘I did ask,’ she said ruefully.

‘What are we going to do then?’ said Daisy. ‘What with having to pour milk away, we need my money more than ever!’

Matt stood up. ‘I’m going to church,’ he said shortly. ‘I said I’d say a last Evensong.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ said Lily, rising swiftly.

As soon as they were outside Matt said, ‘Don’t say it. Let’s wait until after the service.’

Lily desperately wanted to talk about her feelings but knew, because he had told her in the past, that he needed an uncluttered mind before giving a service. She would have to keep quiet. Even so she could not resist saying, ‘We mustn’t let anything spoil the show! I have to put on a happy face even though I feel awful inside! It’s like being on stage, being in the ministry.’

‘You’re not the first to draw that parallel,’ he said quietly. ‘Candles, costumes, words written centuries before.’

‘All the world’s a stage,’ she said bleakly.

‘And I wanted us to continue to be centre stage together.’

‘Matt, please, listen.’

His mouth tightened. ‘After, Lily. We’ll go straight to the guesthouse and discuss it there.’

She fell silent, utterly miserable, wondering why God should want Ronnie partially deaf and had allowed May to succumb to the fever when she had sailed through life so far without even catching a cold.

Lily found no peace in church, her body was too restless, her emotions in turmoil, her mind buzzing with words she wanted to say. Instead she had to keep them in until they reached the guesthouse.

Then they burst out of her. ‘I can’t go, Matt!’ Lily paced the bedroom, her arms folded tightly across her chest.

He stood in front of her and prised her arms apart before gripping her hands tightly. ‘I told you it would be difficult when it actually came down to it but you always seemed so confident you could cope.’

‘I didn’t know my father would die and my brother and sister would be dangerously ill,’ she cried.