Lily’s War (17 page)

‘Not worse but I’m cold.’ She shivered.

Ben didn’t need asking again to get more milk, and Lily sent Ronnie to fetch a blanket.

By the time William and the doctor arrived Daisy was in less pain and the blistering on her face had been arrested but she was still shivering despite the blanket.

‘So you used cold milk,’ said the doctor, who was the son of a farmer friend of William’s. ‘My gran used to swear by a poultice made up from chopped carrot, cabbage and ivy leaf with nettle juice. Others say butter does the job.’ His eyes twinkled.

‘Did your gran’s remedy work?’ asked Lily, reasssured that they had not done her sister any harm.

‘She said it did.’ He smiled at Daisy. ‘I can send you to hospital if you wish but it is only a relatively small area of skin you’ve lost. You’ll need to have a dressing on it and to keep quiet for a couple of days. I’ll give you some tablets.’

‘Will I be scarred, doctor?’ she asked in a trembling voice.

He hesitated. ‘There will be some scarring but a bit of face powder will hide it and your hair will grow.’

‘My hair,’ moaned Daisy, her hands going to her head. ‘The money I paid for that perm!’

‘It could have been worse.’ Lily’s voice was relieved.

Over the next few days it was obvious Daisy did not share Lily’s opinion and when Ted and Frank called she refused to see either of them. ‘I look a sight! A fright!’ she wailed. ‘I look like a scarecrow struck by lightning!’

Lily laughed. ‘If they love you, they won’t care!’

‘I care,’ cried Daisy, and burst into tears.

‘Give it another week then,’ said Lily, worried about her. She wrote to Matt, hoping he would continue to be understanding where her family’s needs were concerned. There was a limit to a man’s patience, she thought anxiously. There had been no more letters from him and she hated not knowing where he was or what he was doing.

Daisy felt no different a week later. ‘You’ll be wanting to go back to work, though,’ said Lily, irritated.

‘Work!’ Daisy’s expression was horrified. ‘I couldn’t go to work.’

‘Stay at home then,’ said Lily, pleased. ‘You can do my job, ready for when I leave.’

Her sister winced. ‘I’m not going to work in the shop. They’ll all look at me.’

‘So what? It’s never bothered you before.’

‘It bothers me now!’

‘I’m leaving next week, Daisy.’ Her tone was firm. ‘Tomorrow we’ll go for a walk. It’s time your face had some fresh air on it.’

‘No, Lil,’ she said, paling.

‘Yes,’ said Lily, and went into town and booked her passage.

The next day she told her sister to get ready to go out.

‘Can we go the back way?’ said Daisy, looking nervous.

‘Sure.’

Daisy went upstairs and came down wearing a veiled hat. ‘Don’t mock, Lil,’ she said, placing a hand in the crook of her arm and gripping hard. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to be ugly.’

‘Frank doesn’t think you’re ugly,’ said Lily. ‘He’d probably marry you if you’d have him.’

‘I’m not having a man who’s sorry for me. I want one who admires me,’ said Daisy, her bottom lip trembling.

‘Frank does! Now forget men for the moment and just relax.’

But Daisy seemed unable to and every time anyone approached she darted behind Lily, who at first was amused but soon begin to feel irritated. Just a few more days, she told herself, and insisted her sister went out alone the next day.

‘I can’t,’ said Daisy in a trembling voice.

‘Of course you can!’ She handed her some money. ‘I need some potatoes.’ She pushed her sister out of the door and slammed it, hoping Frank could do something with her.

She might as well have saved her breath. Her sister arrived home on the run minus the greengroceries. ‘I couldn’t do it,’ she gasped, sucking in air. ‘I couldn’t breathe. I felt I would die if I went inside.’

‘You need your head examining,’ said Ben in disgust, who had entered behind her. ‘Come on, Lil. It’s time for milking.’ He opened the back door. ‘By the way, Uncle William’s bringing a couple more cows. Soon there’ll be lots more lovely milk for our Daisy to sell after you’ve gone.’

‘You and your stupid cows!’ she yelled. ‘You don’t care about me!’ She burst into tears.

‘Oh, hell!’ said Ben, and dived through the doorway.

Lily followed him. What was she to do about Daisy? She looked down the yard and longed for Matt. He might have had an answer. She hardened her resolve. Daisy was going to have to cope. Come what may, Lily was definitely going to Australia next week.

‘I don’t want any of you to come with me,’ said Lily, placing her suitcase on the floor by the door.

‘You don’t mean it,’ said Dora, the blackbird in her hat swaying sidewards. ‘William’s brought the car specially.’

‘Don’t make this any more difficult for me, please.’ Lily’s voice held a slight tremor as she avoided looking at the family ranged in front of her. She pulled on a beige kid glove. ‘I – I don’t want to stand on the ship, watching you all getting smaller and smaller.’ A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away. ‘I don’t want you missing me. I just want you all happy.’

‘Oh, shut up, Lil!’ said Ben in a choked voice. ‘You know damn’ well we’ll miss you!’

She lifted her head. ‘Shut up yourself, Ben Thorpe!’ A sob shook her body. He threw his arms round her, kissed her cheek, then thrust her away and blundered out of the kitchen into the backyard.

Lily wiped the tears from her cheeks and attempted a smile for her younger brother and sister. Ronnie looked away but May smiled, ‘Bye, Lil. Perhaps we can come and see you one day?’

She nodded. Perhaps it was possible, when she and Matt were settled somewhere. She would not mind settling in Sydney. She looked at Daisy, who was gazing down at her hands. ‘Bye, Dais,’ she whispered. ‘Keep the home fires burning.’

‘Sure.’ Daisy did not lift her eyes and her voice was barely audible. ‘I hope you’ll be happy.’

Lily turned to William. ‘Thank you,’ was all she could manage, and she blindly reached for her suitcase. His hand got there first.

‘Come on, lass,’ he rasped. ‘D’you think I’d let you be going on the tram? I’ll drive you to the Pierhead and you can sail off just how you want it.’

She nodded, took one last look at them all. Her arms ached to hug Ronnie but he would not even look at her. Without another word she walked out of the kitchen, trying not to think she might never see any of them again.

‘It’s a beaut, isn’t it?’ drawled a voice with an Aussie twang from behind Lily. ‘Only opened five years ago.’

Lily glanced up at the massive skeletal arch of Sydney Harbour Bridge and then at the plump woman in the pink frock. ‘It must take some painting.’

‘Sure, but it’ll keep some men in work and that’s what’s needed these days.’

‘You are Joy? said Lily, smiling and holding out a hand.

The woman’s slightly pouting lips eased slightly. ‘You are Matt’s wife?’

‘Yes, I’m Lily.’ She picked up her suitcase. ‘You must have thought I’d never get here. I did as your husband told me on the telephone and stayed put. I had thought of walking but—’

‘It’s more confusing than you thought.’

‘The distances are greater than they appear on the map and I wasn’t sure if I was on the right side of the harbour.’ Lily found herself almost babbling but why she should feel she had to make excuses she did not know.

‘Kirribilli is north side. You could have taken the ferry, but knowing you had luggage, I brought the car.’ She began to walk. ‘You were lucky to catch us in. Pete’s leave is nearly up. I don’t know if Matt told you he’s in the Australian Navy?’

Lily fell in step beside her. ‘Yes. And that they’ve known each other since schooldays.’ She hesitated. ‘He said you haven’t heard from Matt?’

Joy did not answer immediately but paused to open the car door. ‘Not recently, and I’m not sure where he is. Last time we spoke he talked of taking a break and coming home but when I told him about Pete’s leave he said he’d give us some time on our own. Of course, he didn’t know you were on your way.’

‘But he should have known!’ exploded Lily, feeling near to tears. She shaded her eyes from the glare of sun on water. ‘You did send my letters on?’

‘Sure, I did,’ said Joy, reddening. ‘But he’s been moving on and God only knows when they’ll reach him. He does have a habit of getting sidetracked sometimes. He could have met some swaggie on the road. I take it you know what Matt’s like for talking to all and sundry?’

‘Yes.’ She got into the car, trying to conceal her acute disappointment. ‘What’s a swaggie?’

‘You’d call them tramps. Some are misfits from the war who’ve never been able to feel comfortable in society again. The depression didn’t improve their situation.’ She pursed her lips. ‘Lots of men went walkabout in search of work which was almost impossible to find. When did you last hear from Matt?’

‘Not for a couple of months.’ Her mouth drooped. ‘He said he’d write to me care of his Sydney address.’ Her spirits lifted. ‘Of course! There’ll be letters from him which’ll tell me where he is.’

‘Had no letters,’ said Joy, starting the car.

Lily stared at her. ‘You’re joking!’

Joy turned pale blue eyes on her. ‘Don’t see any reason to make a joke about it,’ she said in a toneless voice. ‘He phoned a couple of weeks ago to see if you were here. Pete said no and that was the last we’ve heard from him. Have to tell you he didn’t sound pleased that you weren’t here.’

Lily could not think of an answer to that. Of course Matt wasn’t pleased if he hadn’t received her letters.

Joy slanted her a glance. ‘What kept you so long? Matt said something about a younger brother and sister being sick but seemed to think they were getting better.’ She paused. ‘You’re not having a baby, are you?’

‘No!’ Lily was startled. She hadn’t even thought of a baby being the possible consequence of the nights of love with Matt. Probably because there had been so much else to think about.

‘I am,’ said Joy with a proud air. ‘But don’t mention it to Pete. It’s early days and I just know he’ll fuss and worry about going back to his ship if he finds out, and I don’t want that.’

‘I wouldn’t dream of saying anything,’ murmured Lily, gazing at the scenery as they crossed the bridge. What kind of person did Joy think she was to discuss other people’s private business?

‘That’s OK then.’ Joy hummed beneath her breath as she drove onto the bridge. ‘Try not to worry about Matt, He’ll turn up. Take a look at the scenery … have you ever seen any better?’

Lily looked out of the window at the panorama surrounding her. It was different from Liverpool, was all she could think. The water was blue instead of khaki green, the roofs were red, and lots of houses were painted in pastel shades. Here was a lovely sunlit city but she was too overwhelmed by homesickness and worry about Matt to appreciate it.

On the other side of the harbour Joy brought the car to a halt outside a house halfway up a street which ran up from the harbourside. The walls were painted pink and the upper windows were fronted by balconies protected by lacy wrought-iron railings.

Joy opened the door into Matt’s part of the house and showed Lily to his bedroom and left her. She sank on to the bed and dropped her head into her hands and let the tears trickle through her fingers. She had been so looking forward to seeing him and felt lost and alone in this strange house. She lifted her head and looked about her, trying to see his personality imprinted on the room, but there was nothing that spoke of Matt to her. It was well furnished in light oak and the double bedstead was made of solid brass. Curtains and coverings were pale green and there was a crucifix on the wall behind the bed. Perhaps it was so impersonal, thought Lily, because he spent so much time travelling?

She rose and wandered out on to the balcony outside and looked towards the harbour, busy with small craft. She felt lonelier than ever, imagining Matt gazing out at this same view. If only he would walk through the door, now, today, tonight, she could bear anything.

But Matt did not come home that night. Neither did he phone and there was no mail from him over the next few days.

On the Sunday after Lily had attended the service in St Andrew’s Cathedral on George Street and prayed to hear something from Matt, Joy invited her to have dinner with her and Pete and Lily accepted hoping to learn something more about Matt and this couple who rented part of his house.

Their floor was very different to Matt’s, more lived in. The furniture was not so solid, fabrics were bright yellows, reds and oranges. There were pictures of flowers and seascapes, and little space that was not taken over by clutter.

She waited until after dinner to speak of her concern about there still being no word from Matt. Pete was a stocky, brown-haired, laconic man.

‘The car could have gone crook,’ he said.

‘Matt knows something about cars,’ said Lily earnestly. ‘Surely he would have been able to sort it out by now?’

‘Depends where it happened and whether he had spares. Wouldn’t you agree, love?’ He glanced up from the newspaper at his wife.

‘Sure. If it was something Matt couldn’t fix he’d have started walking,’ drawled Joy, placing a cup of tea on a table near Lily’s hand. ‘And he’d make sure he had plenty of water with him. So I wouldn’t worry about him dying of thirst!’

Lily let out a strained laugh and ran a hand over her hair. ‘Having just come from England, thinking of someone dying of thirst doesn’t immediately spring to mind. So what can we do?’

Pete folded the Sunday newspaper, dropped it on the floor and stretched out his legs. ‘What about that Fraser family Matt mentioned?’

Joy frowned. ‘What about them?’

‘Who are the Fraser family?’ demanded Lily.

Pete’s expression was thoughtful. ‘It might be worth getting in touch with the Harringtons in Bourke after I’ve gone and asking their address, love.’

Lily clenched her fists in her lap. ‘Why can’t we get in touch with them now?’

‘Probably no need,’ Pete told her. ‘Matt won’t thank you for fussing. He’ll turn up sooner or later. It’s not the first time he’s done something like this.’

Lily gave up in frustration. They just weren’t concerned but she was madly worried. If Matt did not arrive in the next couple of days she determined to do something, whatever Pete said.