Lily’s War (18 page)

Pete returned to shipboard duty and Joy, prodded on by Lily, got in touch with the Reverend J. Harrington in Bourke who told her that Matt had left weeks ago but, yes, he had mentioned dropping in at the Frasers’ place for a couple of days.

‘See! Pete was right,’ said Joy, yawning as she placed the receiver back on its hook. ‘The trouble with these outback stations is it can be so lonely and boring out there they hang on to visitors. He’s probably stayed more than a couple of days but is on his way home now.’

‘You think so?’ said Lily, getting to her feet and pacing the floor. ‘So you don’t believe he could have broken down?’

‘I don’t think there’s any need to worry,’ said Joy comfortably, picking up a skein of cream wool. ‘Give it a couple more days and if he’s not back by then we could write to the Frasers.’

Lily stared at her. ‘A couple of days! And then how many more for a letter to reach them? Isn’t there a train or a bus to Bourke I could take?’

‘Sure! Bourke is a big wool port. Once you could only get there cross-country by horse and then up the Darling by paddle steamer.’ She held out the skein of wool to Lily. ‘Hold this for me while I wind it.’

Lily felt like screaming with frustration but instead placed the skein about her wrists. Joy seemed to be unable to concentrate on anything but the baby. ‘You say I can catch a train to Bourke now?’ she said patiently.

Joy nodded. ‘You’ll have to go on your own. I can’t risk losing this baby. And don’t forget it’ll be further than you think. This isn’t little old England, you know.’

‘Tell me another,’ said Lily drily, and made up her mind if Matt did not return in the morning she would pack a bag and go and buy a train ticket. If she had not been so anxious she would have been furious with him for putting her through all this worry.

Matt did not come home so Lily boarded a train destined for Bourke with the name of the Frasers’ station in her purse. She was determined to find Matt whatever it took.

Lily dropped the rucksack Joy had lent her on the gravel and eased her shoulders as she gazed at the sprawling single-storeyed house fronted by a verandah which was broken by a flight of steps leading to the front door. Beyond it she could make out several large outhouses. A sigh escaped her. She was stiff and sore from riding motorbike pillion and being bumped over dirt roads. Twice she had been flung off but fortunately had landed on grass. The bike belonged to a parishioner of the Harringtons’ who just happened to be passing the Frasers’ place. He had dropped her at the gates, telling her she could walk the rest of the way. She only hoped she wasn’t wasting her time as she did not want to do that walk again. Evening was coming on, she was hot, hungry, utterly worn out, and dying for a cup of tea.

She took a deep breath and approached the door, only to stop on hearing a vehicle drawing up. Her pulses raced but soon settled when she saw the man climbing out of the truck was not Matt.

‘Where did you spring from?’ He was tall and the rolled-up shirt sleeves of his blue cotton shirt showed tanned, muscular arms.

‘Are you one of the Frasers?’ She walked over to him.

‘You’re a Pom.’

‘I’m Liverpudlian.’

‘Can you cook?’ he drawled. ‘I did ask them to send a woman who can cook.’

‘Of course I can cook!’ She was startled by his remarks. ‘What’s that to do with anything?’

‘Plenty. You’re hired. Go round the back. You’ll find Doreen there. She’ll show you what’s needed before she goes.’ He walked away from her towards a paddock where several cattle grazed.

‘Hey, hold on!’ cried Lily, running after him. ‘I’m no hired help, mate! I’ve come to find my husband. I was assured I’d get a warm welcome. The Frasers like visitors, I was told.’

He turned, gazing down at her from eyes she could not tell the colour of because the brim of his hat cast a shadow over the top half of his face. ‘I’ll pay you what you ask as long as you don’t flirt with the men.’

‘Didn’t you hear what I said?’ Lily drew herself up to her full height of five feet, four inches. ‘I’m a married woman!’

‘So? The shearers haven’t arrived yet. You can work in the house until your husband turns up with them.’

She took a deep breath and said emphatically, ‘My husband does not shear sheep. He’s a preacher and I was informed I’d find him here.’

His expression changed and then he swore profusely.

Lily frowned. ‘Do you mind? I’m not used to that kind of language.’

‘Used to sweet talk, are you, lady?’ His tone was as chill as hers. ‘Well, I’m telling you now – your husband has gone off with my sister and I’ll knock his block off when I see him!’

Lily stared at him in disbelief. ‘You’re a liar!’

‘He’s the bloody liar. Never a word about a wife! Abby probably thinks—’ He stopped, his mouth tightening. ‘We were all taken in, not just her. He was a mate! We never thought a preacher –’ He paused and breathed deeply. ‘But you don’t have to worry. A couple of my brothers have gone after them and you can have him back. He mightn’t be in one piece but you can try putting him together if you care that much about him!’

Lily went hot and cold, and sky and grass shifted unpleasantly. Reaching out, she gripped the nearby fencing to steady herself. She swallowed the bile in her throat and forced down the panic his words had roused. ‘You’re making a big mistake, Mr Fraser,’ she whispered. ‘Matt wouldn’t. He’s not that kind of man.’

‘Isn’t he now?’ he drawled. ‘Abby left a note. She says she’s gone off with him and that they’re lovers. Do you hear that, Mrs Gibson?’ he shouted. ‘She wrote it in black and white! The news caused Ma to have one of her turns and she’s taken to her bed.’

‘I don’t believe it!’ cried Lily, getting a grip on herself. ‘Did you see them go?’

‘Of course I bloody didn’t or I would have stopped them!’ His tone was exasperated.

‘Then we only have your sister’s word that she’s with him,’ said Lily strenuously, relief flooding her.

‘They’re both missing so don’t kid yourself, lady.’

‘I’m not kidding myself.’ She stared at him with loathing. ‘How old is your sister? Mrs Harrington said she was quite young.’

‘Sixteen. What’s that got to do with anything?’ His expression tightened.

‘Plenty! She’s at that age.’

‘And what does that mean?’

‘Oh come on, Mr Fraser.’ Her laugh held a hint of scorn. ‘How often does a young girl out here set eyes on a presentable man? She probably threw herself at Matt and scared the life out of him. He’s run!’

A flush darkened his cheekbones. ‘My sister had plenty of real men interested in her. She didn’t need no silver-tongued preacher.’

‘I’m glad to hear it because she’s not getting him,’ Lily exclaimed hotly. He was silent. ‘Well? Realise your mistake?’ she said, her eyes glinting.

‘I’m not mistaken. They’ve gone together, believe me.’ He paused. ‘How did you get here?’

‘I was dropped off at your gates by motorbike. Why?’

‘How are you going to get back to Bourke, Mrs Gibson?’ A taunting grin twisted his tanned face. ‘You’ve got a long walk. G’day.’ He touched his hat and strode away.

Swine! Lily was infuriated. Forgetting her sore feet, she walked over to where her rucksack lay and swung it over her shoulder. So he was an example of that Australian manhood she had heard of – the hard kind who didn’t know how to treat a woman. Alternately cursing him and telling herself Matt must be in Sydney by now, she forced her legs to carry her back up the long drive.

She was within sight of the gates when a car came through them. She did not move over but carried on walking. ‘You get out of the way,’ she muttered, gritting her teeth against the pain in her heel. But the car slowed. A head poked out of the window as she passed but the man only gazed at her without speaking. She felt certain he was another Fraser. She glanced at the back seat and saw it was unoccupied and felt satisfaction. So much for that Fraser man’s conviction that his brothers would bring Matt back in pieces. The other brother had closed the gate and was now eyeing her dishevelled figure in a way that irritated her. He nodded but she ignored him, limping past him and on up the dirt road in what she believed was the right direction.

Half an hour later it was definitely cooler. Lily’s mood had changed and she was no longer just angry but worried. The land on either side seemed to stretch to infinity and was flat and featureless but for the odd group of what she presumed were gum trees. The silence felt eerie to her city ears and she longed for the security which Matt’s presence had always provided. She was undecided what to do. If she carried on walking when darkness fell she might wander off the road and get lost. She remembered what Matt had told her about the fate of Australian explorers Burke and Wills. Don’t be stupid, she chided herself, that had been in the 1800s and in the real outback. People travelled this road. Still, as she carried on walking her thoughts were occupied with pictures of snakes, spiders and nasty horrible bulldog ants creeping up on her in the dark.

Suddenly she heard the noise of a vehicle behind her and immediately felt better. She stood in the middle of the road, waving her arms, waiting to be noticed. It was not until the truck stopped a few feet from her that she realised the first Mr Fraser was the driver.

‘Well?’ she said coolly as he slid his long legs out on to the road. ‘Your brothers didn’t find him, I see.’

He stared at her, his annoyance obvious. ‘I thought I might catch you up. They weren’t where Abby said they would be.’

Lily smiled. ‘Surprise, surprise! Perhaps she sent you on a wild goose chase and doesn’t want to be found? It can’t be much fun having three older brothers bossing a girl about all the time.’

‘There’s five of us and she needs looking after,’ he said harshly. ‘Her going off with your husband proves it. What are you going to do about finding him?’

Her backbone stiffened and she tilted her chin. ‘Why should I tell you, Mr Fraser? You want to knock his block off and I object to that. I love my husband.’

He pushed back his hat and his eyes narrowed. ‘More fool you. Were you scared?’

‘Of what?’ she said, surprised by the question.

‘Of the idea of being out here on your own at night.’

She stared at him, her expression pensive. ‘That was your intention, was it? Frighten the city woman out of her wits for calling you a liar. You’re not nice, Mr Fraser.’

Slowly his mouth eased into a grin. ‘The name’s Rob. I’ll give you a lift into Bourke.’

‘That’s big of you.’

‘Take it or leave it.’

She did not hesitate. Little as she wanted his company it would be stupid to turn the offer down. ‘OK. I reckon you owe me a favour for making me walk this far with sore feet.’

He said nothing, only signalling with his head for her to get in.

Lily climbed into the cab and within seconds the truck was bucking and swaying along the earth road. She gripped the side of the seat but made no complaint, only praying they would arrive in one piece.

He dropped her off outside the railway station after a journey during which neither of them spoke. She thanked him, adding that if they ever met again it would be too soon. He grinned and drove off.

She limped inside the station to enquire when the next train left in the morning, believing she would see Matt when she arrived back at the house in Sydney.

The pink-washed house with the sun on it in Kirribilli was a welcome sight and so was the cool sparkling water of the harbour. Lily ran up the steps, imagining Matt’s face when he saw her.

Joy opened the door and looked beyond her. ‘Where’s Matt?’

‘Isn’t he here?’

‘No. I thought he’d be with you.’

Lily felt like weeping and sank on to the top step, gazing unseeingly across the street. ‘He’d been there and gone. They didn’t know where,’ she said wearily, thinking that really wasn’t a lie because Matt hadn’t been where they believed.

Joy frowned. ‘It’s not like him to leave it so long without letting us know where he is.’

Lily rested her damp forehead against the palm of her hand. ‘I take it there’s been no letters or anything?’

‘There’s one from England for you. I’ll brew up and you can read it while you wait.’

Lily forced herself up and followed Joy through into the backyard where there was a paved area with trees and a lawn. She sat in a cushioned cane chair and Joy dropped a bulky envelope on her lap. Numbly Lily picked it up. It would be from the family.

‘Here, drink this. I’ve put plenty of sugar in it.’

‘Thanks.’

Joy squeezed her shoulder. ‘He’ll be all right.’

Lily smiled unconvincingly and tried not to worry as she drank the tea and forced a couple of beef sandwiches down her. Then she picked up the envelope and slit it with a knife, hoping at least the news from Liverpool would be good. They must have written the instant she had left. Inside was another envelope addressed to her in Matt’s writing. Her spirits rose as she tore it open and unfolded the single sheet, only to see it was dated more than three months ago.

Dearest Lily,

Why don’t you come? Aren’t I as important as your family? You say Ronnie’s ear’s not right yet but it probably will never be right and there’s nothing you can do about that. Dear God, I need you right now!

The meetings haven’t been going as well as I expected. Perhaps that’s down to me? My heart’s not in what I’m doing and I question if this is really what God wants me for now. I need some guidance so I’m going to see a brother friend of mine up in Queensland. If you do come, Joy will be able to tell you where to find me. I still love you but do you love me? Have you ever or was it just the lure of those faraway places which maybe now don’t seem so attractive?

Love,

Matt

She dropped the letter on her lap as if it had burnt her. How could he doubt her? She felt hurt, angry.

‘Bad news?’ said Joy, leaning forward and replenishing her teacup.

‘It’s from Matt but it was written three months ago.’ She gazed unseeing across the garden, repeating, Queensland, Queensland, stupidly inside her head.

‘What’s he say?’ Joy’s voice was unemotional as she refilled Lily’s cup before seating herself comfortably on the other cane chair.