Losing You: a prequel to It's Not Over (10 page)

More embarrassed than experiencing any pain I shook my head no.  Closing my eyes his hand left my stomach only to touch my face gently as he traced the contours of it.

Relaxing with his soft touch luring me into sleep I closed my eyes to enjoy the intimacy of his tenderness.

I woke to the most amazing sensation of a large tender hand tracing down my back and a warm breeze on my neck with the faintest touch to my ear.  I didn’t move so that he would continue to touch me this way.  The curve of his body against mine burned my skin.  His chest pressed against my shoulder when he leaned over to kiss my back gently.  Flipping his hand over; he ran his fingers down the middle of my back slowly.  Once he got to my lower back his thumb moved back and forth across my lower back.  Easing his touch I barely felt his hand against my skin as it skimmed over my butt causing a great big grin to fill my face.  The hardness of his erection rubbed against me and a moan of need escaped his chest.  As he touched me, running his hand down my leg, he pulled it up a little while his breathe became heavy.  He moved to hover over me lowering his body so his shaft rubbed against my wet folds enticing me to wake from this perfect dream.  When his mouth came to my shoulder blades he kept his mouth open as he traced my back gently gliding his lips over my skin.  He rubbed against me again and my craving to have him in me increased.  Caving to that need I rolled over facing him.  The grin on his face grew showing those dimples that lured me to his face.  Reaching for him when he decided to move away from me I gave him the pout.  Scooping up the rose petals he tossed them in the air allowing them to fall all over.  As his eyes roamed over my body his thoughts showed on his face with that crooked mischievous grin appearing on his perfect mouth.  Working his way up my body slowly blowing the petals away from my skin he placed butterfly kisses to my body inch by inch.  Twisting, turning, curving, and arching, my body craved the attention.  It was the tip of his tongue to my abdomen that made me squeak out my pleasure.  My toes tingled, my core wet and ready, all he had to do would be to slide into me, but he didn’t.  He sat back on his heals admiring the sight laid out in front of him.  I am putty in his hands. 

His fingers and hands wrapped around my wrists as he pulled me up into his lap, until his arm wrapped around my waist holding me to him.  Lost in the depths of his eyes as they lingered on mine I’d agree to do anything he wanted right now all he’d have to do is ask.  My legs wrapped around his waist as I waited for the new experience he’d bring me.

Pressing his forehead to mine he breathed in deeply let out the words with the release of his lungs, “I have never wanted anyone or anything more than you at this very moment.”  Reaching around his neck to pull him closer to me even one inch between us is too far apart.  Holding me away from him for a moment, with his strong arms he slid into my sweet spot with ease.  Wetness of his mouth attacked my breasts licking sucking and nipping himself into a frenzy as his body rocked into mine.  His thrust came deeper, harder than I expected.  When his eyes fell on mine I wasn’t surprised how dark they had become.  Possession of greed filled him as his body rocked eagerly to me.  Too fast for me or my liking I whispered, “Slower.” 

Instant conflict filled his face.  My needs verse his.  The conflict showed on his face.  Gliding my hands down his back I noticed every muscle tensed at my touch as he slowed down his movements for me.  The strength in his arms held me while the slowness of his invasion reached the spot of sensation I needed and wanted.  Allowing myself to get lost a deep moan came from deep within me without my control.  The intensity of his thrusts increased again, but it caused the loss of the pleasure I’m so close to having.  This time I ordered him, “Slower!”

A growl escaped him, “Jess, I can’t.”  His body moved faster again.  I kissed everywhere and mouthed to him, “Oh, Paul.  Please slower.”

I tried to kiss him he turned his head to concentrate on his movements, everyone thrust straining his body beyond any pleasure.  So close to release, another gasping moan came from me, and he moved even slower.  Pulling almost all the way out and slowly inserting until he hit my inner core.  After the fifth or sixth time he spoke into my ear, “Come on baby.  I need you to come, NOW!”

His demand triggered my body to respond gasping out, “Yes, Paul.  Oh yes.  Oh Paul.  Yes.”  Craving this new pleasure I wanted more.  Releasing Paul from agony I begged, “Paul, harder!”

Holding me tighter to his body every muscle bulging he gasped into my ear, “You sure?”

I wanted him hard and fast my need out weighting my thoughts, “Yes.”

His smile pressed against my cheek still not giving me what I wanted he replied, “You’re positive?”

“YES.”

My body already in motion to be pressed against the bed before I got the full word out, and yes is a short word.  My legs propped over his biceps tipping my body up to him.  The position a little uncomfortable until he circled his hips with each trust causing his hardness to stroke things within me I had no idea they existed.  Yelling out in bliss, “Yes baby!” seemed to encourage him more.  In with a swerve of his hips, and retreat that left me wanting more, the deep dive into me and the speed all too much at one time.  Fisting my hands in the sheets was all I could do to hold on to my sanity.  Lost in the intensity of it all; Paul glorious in his demands, “That’s it baby.  Come for me again.  Come for me hard!”  When I opened my eyes again the triumph showed on his face; the proudness of giving me pleasure evident as he ground into me deeply and thoroughly.  Leaning down to kiss me he spoke into my mouth, “That’s it baby.  Tell me how much you like it.”

Heat sprayed into me as I screamed out Paul’s name over and over again until I had nothing left to say.  He’s a god in bed and he is mine to have.

When he rolled over so fast I thought something was wrong.  He released his hold on my legs and my body rested on his with the warmth of him still lodged between my legs.  I was afraid to move, because if he wasn’t in me I would be empty.  We fell back to sleep in each other’s arms.

I woke and kissed him where my mouth had been resting on him.  His chest so beautifully cut and I loved to touch every curve of his body.  He sighed, “I am starving.”

Laughing I reminded him, “I told you to bring food.”

“I didn’t think we would stay in here this long.”

I crawled over top of him, “We have been waiting a long time for this.”

He smiled and traced his hands up my sides pulling me to him, “Was it worth the wait?”

Kissing him softly, and then I rolled my eyes gesturing that I had to think about it.  His irritation that I didn’t reply right away boiled over as he grabbed me and rolled over on top of me, “Are you teasing me?”

“Yes, Paul.  You were worth the wait.”  I kissed his cheek, “Am I?”

His kiss came hard and passionate as he mouthed to me, “Oh, yes…yes…yes.”

I laughed and pushed him away, “Food, Paul.  I am hungry.”

He laughed and traced his hand against me, “You want more?”

“No, and I am sore so no more of that today.”

He frowned at me, “Really?”

Nodding with my response, “Yeah, really sore now.”

He laughed, “Wow.  I didn’t realize you’d get sore.”

I touched his penis, “You’re not?”

He pulled away, “Yeah, but that is because I do all the work.”

I pushed him away and he grabbed his boxers trying to slide them on and almost fell over but grabbed the bed just in time.  I laughed at him grabbing the sheets pulling them over me.  He crawled back up to me, “Jess, one thing.”

“What’s that?”

He grinned and bit my lip, “Don’t freak out but we are getting married.”

I put my hand on his face and pushed him away.  He laughed and went out of the room but taking one last glimpse at me.

I rolled over curling up with a pillow and admiring the ring that’s on my finger, torn between smiling and the sadness.  Would he understand that I have no choice, and would he wait for me?  I do love him and I want to marry this beautiful, hunky, muscular man.

Would it be easier if he thought I didn’t love him?  Would he be able to breathe if I convinced him it’s completely over this time?  No matter what I would do he’s going to get hurt and I love him so much.

“Jess, are you sleeping?”

Turning to watch him walk back into the bedroom his face full of concern; I must have let the sadness take over.  He moved to the bed with a tray of food, but stared at my eyes with wonder.  It took everything in me to give him a little smile as I thought about being away from him in less than 18 hours.  He set the tray down on the night stand and crawled over to me, “Jess, don’t do this.  Don’t be scared.  Please, just trust that I love you and we won’t plan anything for a year.”

I touched his face as the tears in my eyes leaked out.  I gave him a better smile this time, but his loss of understanding left him speechless.

He grabbed the food and gave me a forkful of scrambled eggs.  We devoured the whole plate and he fed me grapes as I curled up in his arms and rested on his chest.

We only ventured out for the bathroom use.  I brushed my teeth and took a shower, but went back to him as quickly as possible.  He took a turn but his showers took too long for me.  He didn’t understand that we didn’t have much time left.  I walked in and tried to hurry him.  He just laughed at me and took his time.

“If you miss me this much come in here.”

I peeked in and shook my head, “Still sore.”

He laughed and continued.  I gave up and went back to bed to wait for him.  When he finally returned I curled into him again and traced my hands over his body.  I wanted to get my fill so that I’d survive this journey I had to take.  Just holding him next to me gave me too much time to think about leaving.  Fear kept me from telling him even though I wanted to spill everything.  After all this time we finally connected and he’d refuse to let me go.

As the time ran out I tried to plot out how I’d do this, but every time I try to get up he wakes.  Asking myself, “
How am I going to get out of here?”
   I needed to get rid of the pictures on his computer so he wouldn’t have to be reminded of me during my absence.  With the intention of keep the pain to a minimum; I would leave a note.  What should I say?  I love you but goodbye?  No, I wanted him to wait for me.  Torn between leaving the pictures and telling him I had to leave for a year, or leaving them so he’d remember me.

He was distracting me with his hands as they glided over my skin.  He brought me back to this moment and I gazed up at him.  The smile on his face was completely adorable.  I nuzzled back into him and he sighed with pleasure.

When it was getting late and the sun was going down my heart filled with pain as it thudded against my chest.  He took it the wrong way and decided to be playful again. 

I insisted, “No! More food.”

He grunted as he moved from the bed and went to the kitchen.  This time I followed wrapped in the sheet.  He peeked back at me concerned, “Jess, I’ll bring it to you.”

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms and the sheet around him resting my head to his back.  His hand reached around me holding my lower back to pull me closer.  I kissed him and kissed him.  He finally turned around and put something in my mouth; it tasted amazing.

He pulled me to the table and I sat on the table facing him in the chair as we ate.  They were little sandwiches but in a flower tortilla all rolled together.  We laughed and giggled as we ate the whole plateful.  Matt walked in, “What are you two doing out of the room?  I didn’t think you’d surface until Monday.”

We both laughed but Paul answered, “Yeah, we do have to eat.”

“You guys are having sex and she is sitting on our table.  I eat there.”

I giggled, “But I have a sheet wrapped around me.”

He shook his head, “Yeah, in the sheets you had sex in.  Jess, that is disgusting.”

“Matt, settle.  The table can be washed.”

Paul pulled me to him, “We should go back to the room so we don’t gross Matt out anymore.”

He lifted me and headed for the room.  I made him stop for brushing again.  We stood there together as his body grazed mine.  We giggled and watched each other in the mirror until we finished.  As we went from the bathroom to the bedroom we heard Matt yell, “You didn’t do it in there; did you?”

We laughed moving into his room but Paul answered, “No, you’re safe to use the bathroom.”

In a rush to get back in bed he pulled his boxers off and laid down gesturing me to come lay with him.  I wanted him to be so tired that he wouldn’t wake when I left.  It would hurt too much to see his face.  I crawled over him pulling up the sheet as I sat on him.  He looked up at me his eyebrows up with wonder.  I rubbed against him.

“What are you doing?”

“You do all the work!”  I gave him a look that would challenge him to not move at all.

He grinned, “Okay I won’t do anything.  It’s all you this time.”

Winning the argument I grinned and rubbed against him more.  It wasn’t long before he closed his eyes allowing the sensation take over, growing long, hard, and willing under me.  Maneuvering my body to find the right spot his hands came to my thighs gripping.

“Paul!”

He moved his hands away from me putting them behind his head.  That crooked smile stayed on his face even though his eyes closed.  When I pushed to him a little the smile went away and his face changed from happy to pain.