Lost (7 page)

I set about taping up the boxes and was
almost done when I heard the front door open.

“Mom?” Carey
called into the house.

“Up here!”

I heard two
distinct sets of feet clomping up the stairs. Sam’s heavier, and Carey’s more
agile.

“What’s up?”
Sam stuck his head in.

And both boys
pulled up short when they saw what I was doing.

“You’re packing
up Dad’s stuff?” Carey sounding like he was accusing me of something.

“I am.” I kept
my answer short and looked him right in the eye.

“Why?” His voice
was getting louder, and his eyes were starting to look wild.

I crossed to
him.
Our
son. He got his license without his father there. He turned 16
on a cold, wet day with no celebration. This felt like the final straw to him.

“Because, baby,
it’s time.” I hugged his rigid body and rubbed his back. After a moment, he
sagged into me.

“Okay. I
guess,” he said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.

“God! Look at
this thing, Mom. It’s so ugly!” Sam picked up the fishing vest and laughed.

“I know, right?
Your Dad loved that thing.”

“Jimmy should
have this. He loved it. I think he’s the only one of us that loved fishing as
much as Dad and Grandpa.” Sam surprised me.

“That is
exactly what I was thinking.” I walked over to Sam and gave him a subtle high
five. Great minds think alike!

“Can I have
something too?”Carey asked.

“Absolutely,
sweetie. I was thinking you might like this.” I picked up the sweater they had
so lovingly picked out for Brian and handed it to Carey.

I saw tears
fill his eyes when he took it from me. He thanked me and ran to his room. Sam
started after him.

“No, let him
be.” I gently grabbed Sam’s arm. “This has been hard on everyone, but sometimes
it feels good to just cry. To just cry and remember.”

Sam nodded and
saw Brian’s suit, “You aren’t getting rid of Dad’s suit, are you?”

“No, I thought
you might like it.”

Sam nodded.
“Can I get something else too?”

“Sure, whatever
you want,” I told him.

Sam went into
our closet and came out with two ties.

“Oh!” I said
trying to hold in tears. “I remember those.”

“You helped me
pick them out for Dad, remember? You said he needed some nice clothes when he
went to business meetings. He hated wearing ties.” Sam smiled sadly as he
remembered.

“Yep. He always
took them off as soon as he walked out the door.”

“I don’t know
if I’ll ever wear the ties, but I would still like to keep them.”

“I think that’s
a great idea. I’m just going to pack up Dad’s clothes today. Maybe in a few
weeks, we can go through Dad’s workshop. He has a lot of stuff down there.”

“Some of the
guys that used to work for Dad might like the stuff,” Sam suggested.

“I had an idea
for the stuff, and we can talk about it later. But Dad wanted to take you guys
on a really cool vacation this summer. I was thinking we could clean up the
house, and then still do that. What do you think?”

“Yeah! I’d love
that. I think it would be good to get away from it all.”

“Yeah?” I was
pleased that Sam seemed to understand my intentions. “Well, let’s think about
where we want to go, and we can discuss it tonight at dinner. How does that
sound?”

“Cool. I’m
gonna tell the crew, and we can all think of some ideas.”

“You going to
the park with everyone?” I asked him.

“No, I actually
have to work later. But I told Mrs. B I would come get Jimmy, Jess, and Mag’s
stuff for them and bring it down.”

“Okay, I have
their stuff in a bag on Jimmy’s bed. Is Carey going?”

“He said he
was. Now I don’t know.”

“Well, I’ll go
ask him. You go grab the bag.”

I walked down the hall to Carey’s room
and knocked. “Carey? Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he
called to me.

I opened the
door and took in his room. He had repainted it last summer. Brian had told him
if he wanted it another color, he was on his own. So Carey bought the paint
himself and took up the challenge. He had painted the walls plain white, but
then splattered the walls with all shades of blue, green, and black. It looked
cool. I’ll give him that. Posters of his favorite bands adorned the walls.

“Who is Iced
Earth?” Brian asked when Carey brought us upstairs to see the finished project.

“They’re a
band, Dad.” Carey replied in a tone that reminded us just how old we were
getting.

“A band? Like
what? I mean, what do they sing.”

“They don’t
really sing, babe. They kind of yell.” I answered him.

“You know who
they are?” Brian was surprised.

“I do.”
Obviously I was cooler than my husband.

“Okay. If you
say so.” Brian walked into the room. “It looks great, Carey. It really does.”

Carey had
beamed under Brian’s praise. He took great pride in his room, and it showed. He
had asked me to get him a simple, navy blue comforter. And he found the old
drafting desk at an antique store himself. He brought it home and fixed it up
with some help from Brian, and I bought him a stool to go along with it. And on
the floor, he had a Duke throw rug. Just like Sam. Just like Jimmy.

I snapped back
into the moment and walked into his room. Carey was laying on his bed, and I
sat next to him. “Babe. You okay?”

“Yeah. I just
miss him. You know, Mom? I really miss him. It’s funny. Sometimes I think I
hear him.” He turned over onto his back and looked at me.

“Like in your
dreams?” I asked gently. Carey didn’t talk about Brian much, and I didn’t want
to push him.

“No, more
like... all the time. When I’m awake. When I’m running. Like the other day when
I went for a run. I was running down the bike path, near the lake, and I
stopped to tie my shoe. I swear I heard Dad tell me to get up and move.”

“I do too.” I
wanted our son to know it was okay, that he wasn’t going crazy. “Sometimes, in
the morning when I go out back for a cup of coffee, I think I hear him too.”

“What does he
tell you?”

“Nothing much.
Just that he loves me. Maybe it’s what I want to hear... what I miss hearing.”

Carey nodded
and turned to the window. “Can I stay home with you today, Mom?”

“Sure. Maybe
you can help me go through some of Dad’s stuff.” I told him.

He nodded, and
I stood up to go tell Sam. “I’m gonna tell Sam you’re staying home. Meet me in
my room when you’re ready.”

I left and went to find Sam. He was
downstairs waiting, “Hey. Carey’s going to stay home with me. Can you tell Bee
that for me?”

“Sure. I’ll let
her know. Be right back.” Sam nodded and left with the swim bag.

I watched him
go down the driveway for a moment, and then went back upstairs to finish up.
Carey was already in our room.

“Dad had a lot
of T-shirts,” he noted.

I laughed.
Brian did have a lot of T-shirts. It was an easy gift for him. Sports teams,
superheroes, movies, bands he liked—he had them all. He teased me when I
pilfered one to sleep in, but why get a nightshirt when he had so many
available?

“Remember this
one?” Carey showed me a black T-shirt with a pirate skull and crossbones on it.

“
The Goonies
!”
I laughed. “Your Dad loved that movie.”

“And here’s
that dorky Mickey Mouse shirt Dad used to wear to mow the lawn.”

We took the
kids to Disney World a few years ago, and I had insisted on getting a Minnie
Mouse shirt. Brian found me one and bought the matching Mickey Mouse shirt. The
girls loved it, but the boys thought it was so dorky. So of course that meant
Brian wore it all the time.

I saw his white
Aerosmith T-shirt and grabbed it. “I think I’m going to keep this one.” It was
the first concert he ever took me to.

I turned around
and grabbed some more clothes, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carey put
the Mickey Mouse shirt under our bed. I assumed he would retrieve it later. I
smiled and said nothing—let him have his secrets.

Sam returned from Bee and Anthony’s and
joined us. We boxed up jeans and polos, winter coats and shoes. And right as we
were finishing up, I heard the doorbell ring.

“Oh, it’s noon.
I bet that’s animal control. Sam, grab the door for me. I’m just going to wash
my hands.”

Sam nodded and
ran down the stairs to get the door. I heard him talking, and then bringing the
officers through the house to the back door. I washed my hands and put my hair
back up. It had started to fall out of the ponytail I threw it in as we worked.
When I was done, I ran downstairs to see what was going on.

I saw Sam
standing on the patio with a man and a woman from animal control. The female
officer was inspecting the area where the cat was found, and Sam was pointing
to the far back corner of the yard, while the other officer listened.

I opened the
door and stepped out. “Sorry about that. We were upstairs putting some things
away. Is everything okay?”

Sam turned to
look at me, confusion evident on his face.

“Ma’am, my name
is Jack Bryant, with county animal control enforcement. Thank you for not
letting anyone back here until we had a chance to come back out.”

I shook the
hand he held out to me. “Not a problem. Thank you for waiting until noon to
come out! Last night was...”

I just let that
hang. I wasn’t sure
what
last night was.

“I can imagine.
Well, your son showed me where the body was found, and I’m going to take a look
up by your fence, just to see where it could have come in.”

“It? So you
are
saying this is an animal?” I wanted to be sure. I swear, I felt as if a
murder had taken place in my backyard, all this talk of bodies.

“Well, I’m not
saying anything for sure, but the prints that were found do seem to indicate a
large dog.”

“Ma’am?”

I turned around
when the other officer addressed me.

“Yes. I’m
sorry. Julie Klevan.” I stuck my hand out, and she took it.

“Penny Barnes.
I know this is confusing, but we just had to be sure that it wasn’t something
else that came into your yard. We’ve gotten calls on people with exotic pets.”

“Exotic pets?
Like what? Tigers? Monkeys? That kind of thing?” Sam asked.

“That kind of
thing and more. People smuggle all kinds of things into the country to keep as
pets.”

“Penny?”
Officer Bryant called out. “Come look at this.”

Officer Barnes
trotted over to wear her partner was kneeling. The two of them studied whatever
was on the ground, and then stood up. They walked over to us with concern
etched all over their faces.

“Mrs. Klevan,
do any of your neighbors have large dogs?” Officer Barnes asked.

“Umm... Sam,
don’t the Pratles have a German Shepherd?”

Sam nodded.
“They do. Do you think that’s what did this?”

Officer Bryant
shook his head. “No. Bigger than that. Maybe a Great Dane, something that
size.”

“Oh, you mean
that
big...” I was stumped. “I really don’t think anyone in the neighborhood has
anything bigger than a Shepherd or maybe a Golden Retriever.”

The two animal
control officers looked at one another, and then Officer Bryant ran his hand
over his face. “I hate to say this, but those don’t even look like dog tracks.”

“Wait, what?” I
was taken aback—and worried. All I needed was some freak with a pet lion to get
lax. “What kind of tracks do you think they are then?”

“Honestly?” He
answered. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say wolf tracks.”

“Wolf tracks?
Do we even have wolves in Virginia?” My skepticism made me snicker, but I had
to wonder,
Do I have wolves in my backyard?

“Well, I doubt
it was a wolf,” Officer Barnes chimed in. “The tracks are just large—definitely
larger than a coyote and your average dog. But I will say that there’ve been
animals caught with wolf DNA in them.”

“What does that
mean?” I was getting more confused and frightened by the minute.

“Some
researchers believe that coyotes may have mated with wolves—most likely up in
the New England area. So now there is some sort of coyote-wolf hybrid. And they
seem to be moving further south—even into Virginia,” she explained.

“And that’s
what came into our yard last night?” I wanted an answer.

“Ma’am, we just
don’t know. Without some more testing, I can’t say for sure. On the other hand,
it isn’t unreasonable to assume that a large dog got loose in another neighborhood,
wandered around the woods behind your house, and found a way into your yard.”

I nodded, sure
that was the answer. There were other neighborhoods not far from us, and I had
no doubt that some of the residents had larger dogs. That certainly seemed like
a more reasonable explanation than wolves or some hybrid roaming around my
backyard.

The officers
finished up their evidence gathering and assured me that it was probably just a
dog.

“But either
way, try not to come out back for a few days. In case they return for the
body,” Officer Bryant warned us, and Sam and I just nodded in agreement.

They told us
they would be in touch if anything unusual showed up in their tests, but
otherwise we were free to use the backyard, with caution—their words, not mine.

I showed them
out while Sam locked up the kitchen door.

“Mom, I don’t
know if I want to leave you home alone.”

I had to laugh
again. “Sam, come on! It’s probably just a dog. They’re right. These woods back
up to another neighborhood. A dog probably got loose, got lost, and snuck into
our backyard. It’s fine.”

I actually
believed that, convinced that it was a one time thing. I assured Sam that we
would be fine, and that he should run up and get cleaned up for work.